To tell you the truth Lilyana, I find myself searching for something new and exciting but what I am searching for is already in heaven with you . I will search for that joy I once had with you until I make it home to you . Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I love you Lilyana , you are perfect in every way.

The Lord only takes the best. Before I met you Lilyana you were already an angel. God sent you down to me because thats what he had planned for not only me but you as well. He made you extra special and I had already figured that out the day you were born. I never thought I could have loved a person so much but just knowing how much I do love you, God loves me just as much. He loves both of us unconditionally, there is no higher power then love and love is what God is. He is always there for mommy. The pain is just emptiness that I feel because the day you passed away in my arms ,more than half of my heart went with you to heaven. You are still and always will be the center of my world and you hold a very special  place in my heart which is all of it. The love we still share lets me know your close by because when I need you most God lets you spread your wings a little closer to me. This is not the end, I can't wait to see you again. I want to give you more kisses and brush your beautiful curls. I am excited to see where life takes me , because you will be with me the whole way just in a different form. Every time I laugh I just imagine you laughing with me. We were so silly, I would just laugh unexcpectdly and you would start laughing too. If you did something funny that made me laugh you would keep doing it, you would giggle and shake your head from side to side. You are perfect Lilyana. As long as I live on this earth I will embrace your memory, Even when I am 80 years old I will still call you my little girl. You will always  be my little girl and I will carry you forever. You are not walking alone now and never will. You are in great hands Lilyana. I love you dearly Lilybug. The next thing on my list is to ask God to send you kisses and I am sure they will be delivered. Goodnight Lilyana !!

Happy birthday sweet angel!! Three years ago today at 8:22am you were born and you changed my life forever. My job will never be done as your mother. I can't wait until later today because everyone is going to celebrate your birthday and your memory .Wow you would have turned 3 if you were still here on earth. Aunt Kathy, aunt Erica and I are making you a beautiful heart cake with butterflies and your favorite frog Hopkins. As your mother, Lilyana I will continue to embrace the laughter we once shared and embrace your memory. I love talking about you and all the fun things we did together. Especially the loved we shared, it was truly amazing how you brought so much joy to my life and the lives of others. I know you are well taken care of but I ask God, to tell you that I love you and I am sure he delivers the message. I miss your pretty curls so much. I loved brushing your hair after you got out of the bath, you would sit between my legs and we would giggle. I remembered as we played on the floor in your room you would always roll away and you rolled under the crib. I never laughed so hard in my life Lilyana. I know people are not perfect Lilyana, I wasn't perfect but one thing i do know is that I gave my all to you and I would do it all over again. God sure did bless me, he blessed us both. I don't ever remember a day where we weren't  together.I can't thank you enough Lilyana , for waiting for me to arrive at the hospital before you took your last breath. You will forever and always be the center of my heart. I have beautiful floating lanterns coming your way later tonight. I hope you love them Lilyana. You will always be my baby, my daughter, my little girl. Tell your angel friends I said hello and tell Jesus I love him. Happy birthday Lilyana. I love you dearly and can't wait until I see you again!!!

As your birthday gets closer, you are drawn to me even more. I am making you a beautiful heart cake with butterflies and of course your favorite frog, Hopkins. The more I think about it, Lilyana you were truly too beautiful for earth. I know you are happy and the day you went away I told God to take care of you. He knew what he was doing when he called you home. I am so thankful and blessed that he chose me to be your mother. He gave me the best gift of all and you will forever be with me. I would always pray and ask God to make sure you would be okay. I never asked God one time to let you stay because that would have been selfish of me. Well I did ask God one time to let you stay until I got to the hospital. The whole time driving to the hospital on March 16,2016 I asked God over and over to let you hold on until I arrived. I wanted to hold you in my arms before you went home to heaven and sure enough he answered that prayer. I am so thankful for that and very blessed. You are just so perfect Lilyana. I am so proud of myself for becoming this amazing woman that has a strong back bone and a heart of gold. I don't know where I would be without you and who I would have became if I never met you. You have taught me that anything is possible. The care I gave you was never impossible. I went above and beyond for you. Not only because I had to but because I wanted to. you are my daughter and being your mother was the greatest gift. I will always be your mother, Lilyana. Forever you and I will continue to share the love we have. I love you Lilyana!!

A year ago on January 10th , I took you to Franklin square because you weren't feeling good . Every time you started to get sick I knew right away that I would have to watch you closely because you needed special care , the only kind a mother can give . I can't express in words how deeply I love you but it shined through the kisses I gave you and the laughter we shared and the special care I gave to you . I remember exactly what you were wearing that day , your pretty zebra jacket , and your pretty red /pinkish coat . As we sat in the waiting room to be called back you rested your head on my chest and I told you everything would be alright . The doctor called us back and I remember you making your silly face and eating your hands and shaking your head from side to side . You always made me laugh and the best feeling is when we laughed together . I would always laugh out loud at random just so I could hear that beautiful laugh of yours .  The doctor sent us home and told us that it was just a cold . After our trip to Franklin square ,A week and a half later on January 21 st was the day I called 911 because I knew something wasn't right . I don't really replay, it in my head what happened that day because it was out of my control . I did everything I could to make sure you would be okay . Almost two months we were in the hospital and you know what Lilyana?! I never gave up hope . We fought this battle together . You held on for so long . The one thing that really gave me hope was every day I came to the hospital as soon as I walked into your room and you heard my voice your heartbeat went through the roof . The nurses would always say wow mom , Lilyana knows your here. I remember you were on precautions so we all had to wear yellow gowns and I didn't kiss you for a while because I didn't want to make things worse . But when I finally got to kiss you it was the best warming,  joyful feeling in the world . I wanted to hold you more than anything but I couldn't for almost 2 months . On March 16, 2016 , I remember the vision I had of us laying together in a beautiful meadow it must have been heaven because I knew when you took your last breath that's where you were going . It was the worst feeling in the world when your heart stop beating and mine kept beating . I wanted nothing more than for you to go home to heaven where God was waiting for you . Your birthday is coming up soon and you would have turned 3 and I'm pretty sure you would still be eating your hands . Our memories that we created will always be with me . Lilyana you are apart of me and my love for you will continue to shine . My love will blossom into eternity once  I make it back to you .

Hello Lilyana! Aunt Er is thinking about you everyday! I am reminded of you when I see little girls with curly hair! I smile from ear to ear because it makes me picture you and remember how beautiful you are. You were always so happy and that happiness radiated to everyone around you. I find myself wondering what you might look like today. But I remind myself that I am so thankful to be able to picture you in my thoughts. I can still see you rolling around in in my room trying so hard to crawl to get those beads! I am so very grateful for the memories of us that I carry with me. You are perfect in every way imaginable. I love you dearly and will always carry you in my heart. Hugs and kisses to heaven, LilyBug!

Hiiiiii baaaaabbbbyyy! Hehe, hello LilyBug! Aunt Er loves you very much! I miss your little porker toes and hearing you eat those fingers! I know that you are with all of us and we think about you often. I can still picture you rolling around in my room trying to get to the oriole and raven beads. You were such a big girl! Aunt Er loves you sweet girl. Hugs and kisses to Heaven!

Lillyana was a wonderful child with a terrific mother. I remember in our Parkville Lanes Tuesday Evening Summer League, LilYana and her mom would be playing with Tom, Erica,Eric, Miriam,and would always she was always smiling while the team was bowling.

My dearest Lilyana, I miss you more than words can say. I often go back to the day, I imagined a meadow where you and I went to lay the day you went away. Something told me you were ready to be held in my arms. Your last hospital stay was full of tears because I wanted nothing more, than to hold you in my arms. I know in my heart you waited for me patiently until I arrived at the hospital. You heard my voice as soon as I walked in. I just remember you laying in the hospital bed with those beautiful curls and your tiny little feet that I adore so much. Everything about you is perfect. People tell me all the time that God make you perfect when you came home that day but in my eyes you were already so perfect. The love we share Lilyana will never be forgotten, It continues to grow every single day. I am so glad that I spent every moment with you. You changed my life forever Lilyana. I cant wait to make it back home to you. Even though you barely cried, I always knew the different sounds you made and I knew exactly what you needed. I sure do miss that. Whenever you were sick I would let you sleep next to me and I would cuddle up with you and just watch you sleep. I remember when I would come into your room and just start laughing, you would get so excited and shake your head from side to side. You always laughed at mommy and I'M sure you still do. Lilyana you live through me and I am proud to show it off. Our relationship was just beautiful, we are one of a kind. I love you so much Lilybug! miss you bunches

Hello My Stink-a-Roonie, Sunday we attended a candle lighting in your memory. To be honest at first I was scared of how I would make it through this Christmas with out you here, but the candle lighting  really helped me through. I think it was just what everyone needed to make it through. We remembered you that night as we do every day . Your cousins were there and they made beautiful butterflies. They remembered the fun times they shared with you. Vannie often thinks of you and talks of you often. I often reminisce of our days together,  feeding you in your high chair was always my favorite, I'd make breakfast and sing and talk to you  while you ate. Or when I'd run you from room to room cleaning and putting away laundry, you'd laugh as we ran and I'd rush to you before you rolled into something. I could go on and on about all the memories we shared. I'm blessed to have met you, and blessed you are my niece. I love you Stink-a-roonie. Until we meet again! Love Aunt Kat.

I can't pretend I don't feel the pain, the pain loss and wonder. I will miss you Lilyana, on this thanksgiving! I have a vision on how you would look , beautiful as can be because you're a child of God. I have the perfect dress for you to wear. I know you are not here but you're here in memory. I know I have to wait patiently to come home and when i do I will feel the joy you once brought me and the love will continue you grow for enternity.

Lilyana it seems like your so far away but I know your still here. When the wind blows I feel your presence in the wind. I see your face in the clouds of sunshine ,smiling at me. I went to angel park, Lilyana and I found your beautiful paver. It was so meant to be . Its placed in the memorial garden right by a bench. I sat on the bench at the park the other day and just felt your presence all around and my heart was filled with the love we share. you will always be my little girl and you will always be right in the center of my big heart. I love you baby .

Hello, Pumpkin! I miss you so much. I had a dream about you 4 of the last 6 nights. I often wonder if you realize how much you're missed. I'd give anything to see your little face again with those chubby cheeks. I thought I knew what love was, but when you were born, I realized that I didn't have a clue. Every time I saw you, held you, and played with you, it just warmed my heart more than I could ever explain. The last time I held you, I cried. That was on December 31, 2015, when I told you how much you meant to me. It wasn't a sad cry, but a happy cry. That night, still, and even before you were born, you meant so much to me. With tears streaming down my face right now, I pray that I get to see you again one day. I recently heard a story and it made me think of you. I heard that every morning, God takes the children of Heaven, on a walk, with each child holding a lit candle. One day, there was a child sitting by herself and her candle wasn't lit. All the children gathered around her asking, "why aren't you walking with us, why isn't your candle lit." The little child responded, "because every time I light my candle, my loved ones, on Earth, put it out with their tears." When I heard this, I couldn't help but cry. I'm sorry that we've all put out your candle. You just meant, and still do, so much to us that we simply can't help but cry. I will do my best to stop putting out your candle and instead celebrate your life, with no tears whatsoever. Lilyana, you will be in my heart, and everyone that you knew, forever. May you continue to rest in peace. I love you.

I wish we could start over Lilyana, even if that meant losing you again, but I know that would be selfish of me. I lost the joy you brought to my life. I keep searching for it, searching for happiness but its so hard because when the lord called you home ,a piece of me went with you just like a piece of you went with me. I don't feel whole. I still hear your sweet laugh, like you were here yesterday. I just want to hold you and sing you rock-a-bye-baby. When I struggle I feel you near. Lilyana you live through mommy now, everything I make of my life is a reflection of us, what we could have and should have been. God has a better plan for mommy. I promise that I will make you proud. I love being your mother and even though you are with God now, doesn't mean my job is done as your mother. Just the way I cared for you and all the nurses did at the hospital, I want to do the same for people and I cant wait until you see me walk across stage with a nursing degree. You will walk right beside me. I love you Lilyana, always and forever. Kisses all day everyday. Gosh I loved giving you kisses, so many I know. I couldn't help myself. goodnight angel

Lilyana I just wanted to tell you that I love you, more than ever. I miss you everyday but the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart and believe me when I say we are closer now than ever. Love you Lilybug. sweet dreams, angel

Lilyana, I wonder everyday what you and I would be doing! My heart just feels so empty every single day. I can hear your beautiful laugh every time I close my eyes. You were my Joy and my one and only. The first time I saw you I thought to myself, wow there really must be a God. It truly is amazing how I knew you would just be so special and perfect. I was so meant to be your mom. The first two years with you were the best of my life. Lilyana I truly feel you near me especially when I need you most. Lilyana, I didn't get the chance to tell you, but the little girl at Hopkins hospital that was in a house fire went home with her family the day you went away too. It truly warmed my heart to see her family happy. You went home that day to just in a different way. I hope to see you soon . Even though you were oh so small, I believe I had already taught you how to love because I know you loved me like no other. I love you unconditionally and if I could do it all over again I so would. I can't say it enough, we were and still are perfect for each other. When I am by myself I do shadows on the wall , gosh you sure did love that . I loved making you laugh. Every morning I get up I still look in your room, I still have that mothers instinct and always will because no matter what I will always be your mother. I still am a mother, your mother :) but to an angel now, a very special one, You are the center of my heart. I love you Lilyana ! I will see you soon. I promise to be brave. I will never give up hope. I cant wait for you to walk across the stage with me when I graduate nursing school. I know you will be there. Love you forever and always and Lilyana I must tell you, my love continues to grow for you every single day.

One word to describe us Lilyana, would be PERFECT. We were made for each other. You are my other half and still are because you hold a special place in my heart. You brought pure joy to my life. The day you went away broke my heart to pieces and left me empty but I knew that you would be better off to go home. No one knew you like I did. I gave you that special care, the care that only mothers can give. Lilyana I just wanted to let you know that if you were here today and you needed me more than ever, I would have sacrificed my dream of becoming a nurse for you. That's how much I love you. My love for you continues to grow. I miss the way you looked at me when I came in the room, you lite up like it was Christmas and so did I. I love you to the moon & back. Love mommy

In life there are no coincidences. Every inch we walk, every breath we breath, everything happens for a reason. Little did I know when I worked up the courage to finally talk to your mother, that God had a plan to not only bring your mother into my world, but to bring you into it as well. Lilyana from that first day I met you and you looked at me I knew I wanted to be apart of your life. We had our little things that only me and you did... And while they maybe weren't as special as things you shared with others, they meant the world to me... It always amazed me how you would always nap if I held you. How you felt comfortable with me. God knew I needed you in my life and without being apart of your life I wouldn't be the man I am today... We will see eachother again, that I know... Until then I love you Babygirl... More than some people know or can even understand... You hold a special place in my heart.

Lilyana your first word was mama and when I heard that for the first time I knew it was meant to be. I miss you more than ever . I never thought that you would get taken away , our life together was just beginning . I know I have to take care of myself now but I'd rather take care ,of us both . I really miss you being my alarm clock , now days I have to force myself to get out of bed . When I close my eyes and think of you ,I hear that beautiful laugh of yours like it was yesterday . I can hear that silly squealing noise you used to make . Didn't matter what time of day it was your hands were always in your mouth . Your 3 favorite things : mama, hands, and baby signing time . Sending kisses to heaven . I love you Lilyana

Lilyana and mommy painted a picture, of giggles filled with love and laughter of forever. Ten little fingers and ten little toes that changed my life forever. You were sent to me to paint the woman I was meant to be. Life went by in a blink of an eye, two years you were here and everything felt so right. Unconditional love was the greatest give of all that was sent from up above. I held your hand from day one and I promised that you would never walk alone. The day the Lord called you home, you stood beside him and watched me from up above. The minute you passed Lilyana, your face was at peace and you looked like a sweet angel soaring in heaven. I feel empty without you hear on earth and there is a hole in my heart that will never be filled, while I'm down here. When I see you again my heart will be filled with giggles of love and laughter of entirety. Your presence is all around to the wind from the rain, to the sunshine that all binds together. Lilyana and mommy painted a picture of bubbles filled with memories and kisses filled with a new tomorrow. Guide me to where I am meant to be because I know you want mommy to be free. You have a piece of my heart in heaven but in time you will have it all because that's the way it was meant to be. Lilyana and mommy painted a picture of a meadow where we went to lay the day you went away. Until we meet again sweet girl, paint the way mommy is supposed to go, so I can meet you at the gates of heaven. I love you forever and always Lilyana.

Hi Sweet Lily, 

Hi my stink-a-roni, I miss you so much! I miss your smile, I miss your laughter, I miss everything about you. I remember one of the first nights mommy brought you home, I took care of you one night so mommy could rest. You were so tiny and feel in love with a Angel. It's not the same without you here on earth. I am keeping my faith and one day I will see you again. I love you Lilyana. Love Aunt Kat.

Lilyana Marie, 

- [ ] The day you entered this world was a very special day, I became Aunt Kat and loved you right away. But little did we know you'd be taken above, and you'd become a Angel in our hearts, who we would always love. God knew you'd have your struggles, that's why he sent you to your Mom, you were her Angel here on earth and she gave you all her love, you showed us how to be grateful for the things we have, you showed us how to have faith, you showed us the meaning of the word strong. Your journey here on earth simply amazed me! The day God took home it was then it came to me, we we're truly blessed with a Angel from up above, i will be seeing you again sweet girl! Thanks for our memories and all your love! Love Aunt Kat!

Hello, Lily! Aunt Er, mommy, and Thomas volunteered to help build Angel Park this past Sunday. I had a wonderful time volunteering and you were in my thoughts every minute of the day. It will be a very special place for very special children. I know that mommy would take you all the time! But for now you are with us in heart and spirit when we go. I love you Lily and celebrate you everyday. I send hugs and kisses, thinking of you often.

my teddy had a hard day , it's starting now to show , tore a seam and bumped his nose and even lost his bow . Teddy don't you worry , I have a thing that works I'll put my arms around you and kiss where it hurts . Kisses are good medicine like laughter tears and hugs . Kisses make it better , the medicine of love . Lilyana , you loved ( baby signing time ) mommy did to . On rainy days I wish I had you to cuddle with . I miss taking naps with you . I loved watching you sleep because you were so beautiful . When you were here on earth I had everything I needed but now that your up high I need you more than ever . Life has not been the same without you Lilybug but when I fall I call out your name and you help me get back up . I am still a mother . I am an amazing mother . I am your mother Lilyana and always will be . Please watch over me Lilyana and guide me where I need to be. I promise we will meet again . I love you always and forever Lilyana.

Rock-a-bye-baby , in the treetop when the wind blows ,the cradle will rock ,when the bough breaks the cradle will fall , down come Lilyana cradle and all . Lilyana you loved when I sang this to you every night . You loved your music and I know everytime you heard my voice you felt safe. Mommy loves you sweet angel  I want to close my eyes and drift away ,to where you are  Lilybug . Kisses and hugs . I love you Lilyana

Hi sweet girl! Aunt Er is sitting here listening to fireworks going off and the first thing I thought is how you would love looking at all of the pretty colors! I know you wouldn't like the loud noise, but I can just picture the smile and curiosity on your face from all of the colors and neat designs in the sky. I love you very much, Lily! Mommy bought a bubble machine today because she knows how much you loved seeing the bubbles float all around. I smile when I think about the things that made happy! I send you hugs and kisses a thousand times over! I love you sweet girl!

Lilyana this still doesn't feel real. I know you are here but you are far away. You are part of me and I know your with me all the time. I sure miss taking care of you. I am still your mommy even though your far away. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. My purpose here on earth is not done that's why mommy is down here. I am meant to take care of the sick. God gave me a talent and I am going to use that talent to take care of people, just like I took care of you. I cant express to you how much you meant to me but God knows how much I loved you that's why he chose me to be your mommy. No one else could have done it like me. I love you so much. I miss your sweet laugh and your pretty big brown eyes. I miss the joy I once had . I look forward to seeing you Lilyana. I cant wait to be with you. Love mommy

Lilyana when I close my eyes I remember the minute you were born ! I remember every second with you, every day, every single little moment we had together. You were perfect. You made me laugh all the time. You filled my heart with Joy. I cherish everyday because I look forward to seeing you again. I will live for that day. Lilyana I miss you every day and I think about you always , mommy loves you sweet girl! you were so big, pretty girl and my little angel forever.

Is was a nice day today lilypad. I have missed you a lot the last couple days so I visited your site today. I know you would like the flower I brought. I think about you all the time and I find comfort in knowing you are in a much better place. You were a bigger part of my life over the past year than I think you realized. I miss everything we did together (me, you, and your mommy) and I think about all the things we were planning to do. But I know that everything we do you will be right there with us. I love you so much lilypad.

Lilyana! While I wish many times that I had known you from the day you were born, I thank God for the year I got to spend knowing you. I know you are looking down and you are so proud of everyone. While I know at times I feel like I'm forgetting something when I leave your house, I know that feeling is a pleasant reminder of a special little girl. Many people got the pleasure of knowing you in your short but meaningful life. You and your relationship with your mommy touched a lot of people, and continues too. Just how your hair was never the same two days in a row our hearts will never be the same, now all of our heart know true unconditional love. I love you Lilypad. See you again.

Lilyana you loved your cat naps. I loved when you fell asleep in my arms. You and I were meant for each other. You are so special to me even though your not here physically you will always have a special place in my heart. I still don't have an answer to why you went home that day but maybe I do ! The Lord called you home that day because he has a bigger plan for you. I know God loves both of us and he knows how hard I worked to take care of you. I cant explain how I did it but I kept my faith every step of the way and you brought endless joy to my life. I close my eyes and drift away with you. I Picture us laughing and rolling around on the floor and giving each other endless kisses. I miss taking care of you and the funny thing is mommy misses the hardest task that we had to overcome and the obstacles I had to go through to make sure you had the best care from everyone. I love you forever and always sweet angel. WATCH over me Lilybug! kisses

Hello Lilyana, it's so good to see you! Hello Lilyana, it's so nice to see you! Oh, Lily! I will never forget our family day at Mt. Washington! I loved being being able to visit you there! Mommy was there with you everyday and helped you get well and meet your milestones. I will also never forget our Mt. Washington reunion either! All of the nurses and doctors were so excited to see your progress and what a big girl you were! I always think of you when I see bubbles because you had the biggest smile when someone blew bubbles! You were amazing Lily and so special! I love you always. I send hugs and kisses!

The first time I saw you Lilyana, it was love at first sight! I remember waiting to hear your first cry as the doctors took you out of my tummy. Instead of a cry, you let out a whimper and my heart filled with love. I was scared to death because you went to the NICU for two days. I knew right away that you would be special to me. God gave me the greatest gift and that was the unconditional love I gave to you. I miss taking care of you Lilyana. You and I had so much fun together. I miss laughing with you baby. I miss you pulling on my hair and you thought it was the funniest thing so I would let you keep doing it. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Mommy lives for you everyday and I will continue to grow as I go on this journey in life. You are with me always and I promise we will see each other again! Love mommy

Hi Lily bug! I've been thinking about you a lot today! I think of you often everyday. Today as I put away laundry I remembered when I use to carry you around room to room and put laundry away. I'd have to watch you closely so you didn't roll into something and hit your head. I'd pick you up and run to another room and you would giggle. I also remembered the day I would wave a towel in your face and you would crack up, and then we would laugh so hard together. So many good memories. I remember when I use to go to Gammy's I'd run in and look for you right away! Lilyana the day you went to heaven was by far one of the hardest days I will ever have to go through. But in that day, I found the beauty of God. I saw him take you away so peacefully, and in that moment a Angel appeared! She was so at peace and so beautiful! It was in the moment I believed in God more then I ever have! I love you little Twinkle, until we meet again I will carry you with me in my heart! Love Aunt Kat!

Hiiiiii Baaaabbbyyy!!! Hehe, that would be the first thing I would say when I opened the door to Gammys house and I knew you would be there:) I know you remember how I would say it, and I'm sure mommy will say it in the voice that I did when she reads this. You would get a huge smile on your face and I would get so excited!! I think about you everyday, Lily. I long for the day to see you again. I will hold you close and swing around and say, "we're gonna go dancing!" You loved when I did that and I loved making you smile! I loved holding you and swaying the blinds back and forth to let the sunshine flutter across your face! You really liked that, I can hear you laughing that precious laugh. I know you are safe and your happy little self in heaven. I am so thankful for the little things in life more than ever. I am thankful that I was able to be your Aunt. I am thankful for how happy you always were! I am thankful that I was able to be by yours and mommys side when you needed it most. I am thankful for how happy you made mommy and how happy she made you. I am thankful that you brought our family even closer! I am thankful for YOU Lily. You were very special. You surprised us everyday! I love you so much chunker butt/porker toes:)) Sending my love and kisses!

Today is May 8th,and today is my third mothers day! The first mothers day Lilyana you were in the hospital and mommy was right by your side. Second mothers day, we were at home and spent it together and this one well your in heaven and I miss you more than anything. Today is a day to celebrate me. I am a great mother and always will be. Infamous aunt Er and I went to Hopkins hospital on May 5th to have a meeting with the doctors that cared for you Lilyana. Mommy just wanted a better understanding of what happened that day and guess what? I know that there is nothing I could have done different that day. You were meant to go home. Everyone at the hospital loves us both very much. They told me that you were very special to them and you had already beaten the odds before you went home on March 16th. I believe in my heart that the one thing that you wanted most that day, was for mommy to hold you. I wanted the same Lilyana! Thank you for waiting for me, I know we both wouldn't have had it any other way. I really miss your beautiful curls and I miss doing your hair. I miss the joy you brought to my life. Mommy is still happy but its not the same without you. I miss your kisses but most of all I miss the love we shared. kisses are coming your way Lilyana. Mommy loves you

Hello little chunker butt!! Lily, Aunt Er loves you very much. I talk about you often with others because I love sharing the happiness you brought to us. I love how you were always so happy! I just loved your silly giggle and how you would get really excited and shake your head from side to side. I love the joy you brought to your mommy and I love that your mommy lights up when she talks about you. It feels as though you were with us for much longer, with all of the countless memories I share of you. There are times when mommy and I talk and we laugh historically at our great memories with you. You have swelled my heart with endless love and hope. I promise to be the best nurse that I can for you Lily. I love your porker butt!:)

I miss your beautiful curls Lilyana,I miss your tiny feet and long fingers! I miss that sparkle in your in eye when you knew I was around or even close by. I remember the first time you said mama, words cant explain what that meant to me. You didn't just say it for any reason, you said it because you knew that I was your mommy. Especially when you were sick, you called my name and I was right by your side. I made a promise to you, when you were born and that promise was that you would never walk alone and that promise was not broken. March 16 was the day that you went home to heaven, with the Lord. You are his child and he knew it was time to take you home. Is mommy mad at him? No I'm not mad! I am happy for you Lilyana, you no longer have to suffer. You and the Lord are watching over me. You were always perfect to me but the day you past you became even more perfect. It was pretty amazing your face filled back out like it was before you became sick and your face was just so beautiful, you looked at peace. You seriously looked like a sweet angel. I know you wouldn't have had it any other way Lilyana, you waited for me to hold you in my arms because you felt safe and secure with me and you felt the unconditional love I gave to you! I know you felt my presence in the room Lilyana every time I came to see you at the hospital,  your heart rate would sky rocket and your vital signs would get better. You are part of me and I will carry on with you in my heart and achieve great things. I wake up every morning to the birds chirping and smile with joy because I think of  how we both loved each other very much. Our relationship was so beautiful Lily bug, god gave so much to me and for that I am so thankful! I am sending kisses to heaven , you loved my kisses! sweet dreams Lilyana, mommy loves you

Lilyana Marie, 

Our little angel, I miss you. As I cope with your passing it has brought light to my eyes. There are moments in my day where the sun is shining down upon earth and I say to myself how beautiful, or when the stars are shining bright In the nights sky! It is then my faith is lifted up! I think wow with a earth so beautiful there has to be a god! He sent a wonderful Angel to this world who had a big purpose! And she shined just as beautiful as the sun shining down upon earth. Lilyana you still amaze me! I am so thankful to share the time I had with you and will continue to keep my faith and our memories! Love you little Twinkle! Love Aunt Kat!

Lilyana, it won't be this for long ! I will see you again! Mommy can't wait to brush your beautiful curls. You loved getting your hair brushed after bath time . You also liked when I clipped your nails :). You were so perfect Lilyana My heart aches, to me it might seem like forever until we can meet again but for you it's different . There is no sense of time in heaven sweet girl , so when I get there it will feel like yesterday . I picture you now rolling around and just giggling  Mommy loves you sweet Angel

Hey baby girl... I just want to say thank you. Thank you not only for the memories we have together but thank you for making your mother the amazing woman she is. The bond you and mommy have has turned into a truly beautiful woman. You are the light of her life and I see that light shine every time I look into her eyes. Everyone wants to achieve something great before we are called home and your achievement Lilyana was helping your mother become who she is destined to be. We are all better individuals  for having known you, but none greater than mommy. Thank you baby girl... Love you

Well hello, where's Lilyana? Mommy is laughing out loud right now . I remember turning out the lights and saying where's Lilyana, and when I turned them back on, you would get super excited. Good memories . Lilyana ,you and I would laugh together all the time . I would laugh first then you would laugh back . Gosh I miss that. I would give you so many kisses throughout the day , I couldn't help myself. I send kisses up to heaven all the time baby. I watched you grow everyday and everything you did amazed mommy. I miss napping with. The only time you really napped Lilyana was when mommy was right by your side . Rock -a -bye -baby , in the treetop,when the wind blows the cradle will rock ,when the bough breaks the cradle will fall, and down come my sweet Lilyana cradle and all. Goodnight Lilyana  Sending kisses to heaven , Mommy loves you forever and always

Lilyana Marie, 

Memories! The memories made with you are the one pulling me through! When the wind blows for a moment I can close my eyes and feel at peace, I imagine your spirit is now apart of the wind! Mr. sunshine is your smile that's always brightens my day!! And your Mommy is so amazing!!! I feel because of her I am handling things better! Your mommy  amazes me just like you did!! Your mother is the Angel here on earth  all though we can't see her wings! She's helping me keep my faith! Lilyana I am so thankful I got to be a big part of your life! I I love you always baby girl! See ya again goodnight!

Life sure is different without you Lilyana. Mommy misses you very much but I am staying positive . I am taking care of myself :). I really miss waking up and coming in your room to get you out of your crib. You were my alarm clock , I would always here you in your room babbling . The only time you cried was when you had gas in your tummy . I miss watching baby signing time , I miss taking care of you. I miss taking you to all your appointments. I just miss all of you especially the way you made me feel. You were my sunshine . I woke up yesterday morning to the birds chirping and instantly thought of you And smiled . I love you Lilyana

Hello sweet Lily! Aunt Er was smiling from ear to ear all day because your sunshine was out! It was a beautiful day and I enjoy so much that the sunshine makes me always think of you! I just picture how you would always squint your eyes when we would go outside! Mommy told me this morning that she woke up and instantly thought of you and smiled because she heard the birds chirping. She said that she thinks the birds would wake you up in the morning and she would love coming in your room to get you up for the day! That warmed my heart Lily. You still bring so much unimaginable joy to our lives. We miss you dearly but our hearts are filled with so much love because of you. Your mommy showed me what it means to give your all to someone and I will forever hold that in my heart and let it be my inspiration. We were always a close family Lily, but you have woven our bond even closer! We see, hear, and do so many things everyday that remind us of you. You have touched our lives in a way that remind us how to give endless love and kindness to one another. I love you, Lily! I love you to the moon and back and a thousand times over. I send you my love and my hugs and kisses!! I sure did love making you laugh and I know you loved it just the same. Love always, Aunt Er.

Crystal you were such a good mommy.  So strong, loving, caring and always there for your precious little angel Lilyana. Even though only for a short time you were the chosen one. She was so beautiful, always smiling and happy. A fighter till the end. Now it is her turn to watch over you.
 My condolences to you and all the family and friends who are missing Lilyana oh so much. 
Just remember the passing of Lilyana may bring tears to our eyes , but let her sweet memories and our faith in God bring music to our hearts
Love ya

My Dearest Lilyana, 
Today as I write, I can tell you it won't be the last day. I will always write to you! I love you so very much! I miss you everyday! Some days are harder then others! Your pictures are in every room of my house, and in every picture you are smiling and I smile back! Some days I can hear your laugh! Some days I imagine you are laying on my chest for nap time! When Mr. Sunshine is out, I think of you and how pretty you are! My heart hurts because I miss you so much! I know your watching over and I will see you again some day! But until then My Angel I will forever have our memories. I love you Lilyana Marie! Love Aunt Kat!

Hey baby girl. Justin is missing you a lot today. I swear every time I'm over the house I hear your pump beeping. I miss hearing your laugh. Me and mommy were talking about how I use to get you to the point you were almost asleep and she would come over and get you all wound up. Don't tell her but even though I acted like it frustrated me I actually looked forward to it. I miss you baby girl, and I love you.

Hello silly Lily! Aunt Er has been thinking about you a lot! I giggle when I think about you and I can picture you giggling with me! Mommy and I were at the bowling alley tonight! I thought of all the times mommy took you to the bowling alley and everyone there just loved you to pieces! They use to give you and mommy so many nice compliments about how perfect you two were for one another! It warmed my heart knowing others saw what I saw too. Mommy and I talk about you all the time Lily. The other night when it was storming, mommy said to me that it was you bowling in heaven! I laughed until I cried because I pictured just that after she said it. I love you so much Lily. My heart is heavy without you here, but you still bring so much happiness! I often replay memories of you in my head and it brings me much joy. I love being by your mommies side. I am here for her as she was there for you. Your mommy showed me what it means to give your all to someone and I am forever grateful for that. I love you sweet girl! Mwahhhh! :)

Hi sweet angel! When mommy is feeling sad , I watch videos of you laughing and playing repeatedly because it brightens my day. The little girl at Hopkins hospital that was in a house fire she went home the day you left us. I was so happy for her family . You also went home that day just in a different form, the home to the creator of the heavens . Mommy will live for you . When I see you again I can't wait to do aIl the things with you that I promised I would . I believe you are rolling around in heaven , and when I get there you will take my hand and I will teach you how to walk . Love you will all my heart Lilyana.

Lilyana, I've been thinking a lot about you. I miss you so much. I am so grateful for the time that I got to spend with you. You were and are so special to me. You taught me something. I learned that I have a love inside of me that I never knew existed and it's all because of you. Though my heart continues to ache and my wish is that you were still here with us, I know now that you are in a much better place. You will remain in my heart forever. I love you so very much.

Hello, Lilyana! It's so good to meet you! Hello, Lilyana, it's so nice to see you!! :) I still sing this a lot! I will always remember our family day at Mt. Washington! You were so beautiful and curious that day! You loved the texture of all of the pretty flowers! Mommy and I really enjoyed meeting the other children and families at the hospital. You were in a great place and Aunt Er loved every visit with you! And mommy was by your side everyday there! She helped you learn new things and even then you loved your bath time! I love you so much Lily! Aunt Er sends hugs and kisses!

We laughed, we played, we learned, we grew
It's hard to adjust to this world without you
Every time the sun touches me I think of your face
Or when the wind blow, of your hair out place
Every time I see star or how the moonlight lingers 
I think of every time you would eat those little fingers
Your laughter echoes through me on every sunny day
Just how you made life better in each and every way
But every time I see your mother I only see your love
Because she is the woman who for you could rise above

L:  is for love, we will always love you
I:  is for inspiring, your smile inspired everyone around you
L: is for Laughter, we will cherish your giggles forever
Y: is for You, You will always be with us in memory and heart
A: is for Angel, the one we were blessed to know
N: is for never, we will never forget you 
A: is for Amazing, the joy you brought to us was just that.

Love always Aunt Kat!

Lilyana, Your time here on earth so very short. But looking back I think in that short time you accomplished a lot. You brought Joy to everyone who met you. And your bond with Mommy was one so special. And bond I can truly say was meant to be. You have let Aunt Kat start to believe in God and talk with him. You brought so much Love to our family. You let Mommy become a amazing  mother. You made us all appreciate the little things, Like laughter and sunshine and the gift of having a close loving family. God truly knew what he was doing when he sent you here to us. You changed everyones lives one heart at a time, For that Lilyana I thank you! I love you little Twinkle! love Aunt Kat!

Hello, Lily! Aunt Er has been thinking about you! I love you very much! Your sunshine is out and it is a beautiful day! I can just picture your pretty curls blowing in the wind. I know you would be laughing too because mommy used to make you laugh by blowing on your hair. I love you, Lily.

Tomorrow will be two weeks since you passed Lilyana. I believe in my heart that you waited for me to hold you because I was the one that took care of you each and everyday and we had something special , a bond that was unbreakable ! It still doesn't feel real to mommy but I know God is taking care of you and I no longer have to pray for you . I have to pray for myself now and ask the Lord to help me heal . I will learn how to be happy . Each day I will struggle but I know you are watching over me . I know I will see you again Lilyana and when we are together again mommy will take care of you were I left off It feels impossible to see into the future and actually see myself happy but I know great things will happen for me and I know I will make you proud . Until we meet again Lilyana you are in my heart forever . Kisses and hugs from mommy

Hello LilyBug! Today is a beautiful day! The sun is shining and the breeze is blowing! Mommy and I are by the water and we are thinking and talking about you because you loved the water very much! You loved your bath time and your pool time! I love you little chunker butt! I am picturing the day we were at Hammerman beach and you were sitting in your beach chair with your cute white hat on! I love that memory of us! You and mommy had a lot of fun in the sand and snuggling on the beach towel! I will always think of you when I am by the water! I love you little stink! Mwwaaahh!! - Love sent from Aunt Er

When I first met you Lily I thought   you were as beautiful as can be
Little did I know then how special you would be to me
I learned you liked to laugh quickly and that became my goal
To always make you giggle, they say that does wonders to the soul
Me and you were always laughing or  we were playing songs
We would watch  Baby Singing Time for what seemed like way too  long
I remember the way you looked at me when I would walk into the room
Your face would light up cuz you knew you would be laughing soon
i thank you for the memories, the way you changed my heart
Know that till we meet again, of me you will alway be apart.
When I see you in Gods glory, when I see you Gods grace
I know you light up like you always did when you saw my face
We will just start laughing, just like we did before.
Everyday I wake up, I just love you more and more.


Love you lilypad

Lilyana , mommy misses you dearly . You gave so much to me. You made me realize how beautiful of a person I am , you made me strong as can be. I never questioned anything and never complained . In my eyes you were perfect and I have already given you the world . My unconditionally love I had for you, made our relationship so beautiful . You were my Joy and I was yours . I was an amazing mother to you and will always be . I promise to finish school and be a great nurse . I know you want mommy to be happy and you will always be in my heart . I know you are watching over me and will continue  to watch me grow on my journey . You are my beautiful angel and I couldn't have asked for anything more. you  were always so happy Lilyana , because you knew   I loved you very much and took care of you every single day, even the few times you were hospitalized I came to see you each and every day and I never left your side . Love mommy

Lilyana Marie, it's hard to believe that you are not with us anymore. I keep thinking this is a really bad nightmare I can't wake myself out of. I spend my day thinking of you! I think of your giggles and your warm snuggly cuddles! My heart is hurting! I've been writing to you a lot. I know in my heart you are happy and free that's what keeps me going. Words cannot describe how much I miss you. Until we again Angel! Love Aunt Kat.

Hello Crystal, Sally and I are deeply saddened of the loss of you daughter.You,Tom, and Erica are in our prayers. If there is anything we can do,
please contact us. Ed and Sally Foreman.

To The Entire Family Of Beautiful Baby Lilyana. .. . just want you all to know that my thoughts and prayers are with each of you during this difficult time.  I am so blessed to have met Lilyana and play with her.  She was a beautiful baby and such a happy baby.  So I just wanted to let you know that I care and sending my sincere condolences.

Hello, Lily! You were the first thought on my mind this morning! I was thinking about you "doing the face" and eating those little hands! As I laughed when I thought about this, I could hear your laughter too! Not only do we remember you Lily, but we will always be able to hear your laughter and the sound of you eating those hands! In fact, we will remember EVERY little thing about you! I LOVE YOU LILY! -Always HUG & KISSES sent your way!

Hey Lilyana, I love you so much honey and miss you dearly. My favorite memory of you and the one I will treasure always is when after seeing you almost everyday there was a period when I didn't get to see you for a few weeks, but I came over and I remember you lighting up to see me and mommy asked you "did you miss Justin" and you said "yes" plain as day and you did it a couple times. I'll always remember that just how I'll always remember and treasure every moment I got to spend with you. Love you Lilypad 
Justin

Lily you were only with us for a short while. 
You were so strong and brave through all your trials 
Your pain and suffering is finally at its end 
Now you're at home with Jesus your
Friend 
We will miss your sparkling brown 
eyes 
Your smile as beautiful as a sunrise 
You taught us so much while you 
were here.
How to love, how to be strong and to have no fears. 
We have been blessed to know you,
To know you as an angel as only God can do. 
You will forever be in our hearts,
And when we offer prayers for you 
we'll never be apart.
Great Aunt Joy (Mommy's aunt)
From Nebraska     March 2016

Lily, I only met you two times, but that was enough to know you could brighten anyone's day with just one glance. I am so lucky to have gotten to meet you! I will be here to help Aunt er when the times get tough! Keep watching over your family and keep on shining!! 
To the Juratovac family, no words can express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. Stay strong! 

You will be missed, Lily!

"Those We Love Don't Go Away, They Walk Beside Us Every Day....Unseen, Unheard, But Always Near, Still Loved, Still Missed and Very Dear"....Until We Meet Again Sweet Lilyana" Our Deepest Sympathy to Lilyana's Family During This Difficult Time of Sorrow....

So sorry for your loss Jamie, Cherish, and Crystal. All of you are in my prayers.

Little precious Lily, this is the day we say see you later one day precious angel. Crystal I just want to remind you... You were chosen and created to be Lily's mother. There is no one who could have showed her the love and affection, the unconditional love for her that you had.  You could see in Lily's eyes, smile and hear in her laughter she was blessed and chosen to be your daughter. Today will pass and one awesome day you will be together again. Love you both!
Aunt Mel

I am very sorry for your loss. There is nothing I can say or do to ease your pain, but it is important to know that many will pray for all of you during this moment of sorrow. May the memories bring you peace through the tough days ahead. Lilyana will always be with you through it all. 

The Christ Family

God bless -- Lilyana - and may the peace of God, that passes all understanding, be with the entire family during this difficult time.

God has called another one of his littlest angel home.....Lilyana! Your time here on earth was cherished by everyone that knew and loved you! May God continue to bless you now and forever

Tami and Rodney Butler

June, 

My thoughts and prayers are with Crystal, Jamie and you.  During this difficult time, rest assured that God is with you and will never leave you alone.  Cherish the memory of Lilyana and she will live forever in your heart..

Lily the light that you have brought to our hearts will shine forever...so rest easy in paradise my little Angel...as we reflect on precious memories of you.

Hello LilyBug! Today we will gather to celebrate your life. You are the light of mommies life and will be by her side today as we remember you, sweet girl. You brought us so much unimaginable joy! Your sunshine is out today! As Big Nutbrown Hare would say, "I love you all the way to the moon, and back!" -Kisses & Hugs Lily

My prayers and heart are with you and family at these hard times of life that you having . GOD BE WITH YOU

March 21st, 2016

Lilyana today everyone gathered again! Remembering you. We did more beautiful collages. We laughed, we cried! We enjoyed every picture we had of you and all the people who loved you. You brought so much love and special moments to everyone today! And for that I thank you. Today we remembered you and we will continue to remember you every day for the rest of our lives!! Until we meet again Angel. Aunt Kat loves you.

Lilyana Marie you have changed my life forever . You have made me a very strong woman and I am proud to call you my daughter . I am an amazing mother and our connection was one of a kind. Mommy will see you again, I promise. I was ready to give you the world but most of all I gave you all of my love that I could have ever imagined. Kisses Lilyana , I know you will be watching over me

To the entire family of "Baby Lilyana".....The sad news of your loss is simply heartbreaking. I know you will forever be grateful of the shining light she brought to your family. You are were so blessed to have her. There are never enough words to fully explain our sorrow, but know that you are in our prayers. We will ask God for strength as you endure through this difficult time.

The Juratovac's have made some amazing kids.  I'm sorry I never got to meet you Lily.  But from what your Aunt Eir has told me (and from what ive seen from your moms countless facebook photos) you were the happiest bundle of joy.  No one could ever ask for more: a daughter who never stopped smiling.  Keep an eye on your family from up high.  I know you'll always have their back.

The Jurotavac's had made some amazing kids.  I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you Lily but from what your Aunt Eir has told me, you were a kid who never stopped smiling.  And no parent or relative could've asked for a more amazing, happier child.  Keep an eye on your family from up high.  I know you'll always have their back

Liliana I wish I had a chance to meet you, love seeing the pictures of you and your mommy, you are a sweetheart. Love,thoughts, and prayers

May you brighten up the heavens with your smile, and may your family find peace in the memories of you.  Love & hugs, Debera Lovin

Lilyana Marie, I love you to the moon and back!! I know your at peace little angel! I will miss and remember you each and every day. You will be the twinkle in the sky I will look up at each night!! I will continue to write about you and read them to you one day! Until we meet again Lily I love you always!

Ms. Juratovac,  I was very saddened to hear about Lilyana's passing.  You were such a loving and dedicated mother, and I was blessed to be a small part of your lives while Lilyana was at our Children's Center.  You and your family will be in my prayers.  Sincerely, Christina Peroutka

God has received into his arms a little angel rest in peace lilyana

Hello, Lily! Aunt Er is thinking about you and missing you oh so much! I am side by side with your mommy! You have brought us so much joy and will continue to do so as we remember you each day. I love you sweet girl. -Love Aunt Er

Hey baby girl... You have been an amazing part of my life since I met you. You are my sunshine and I think about you everyday. Ill miss our trips to the park most of all. You will always be my Lilypad

Hey Lilypad. I love you so much baby. You truly have changed my life forever. I'll miss hearing you laugh everyday, but I know that doesn't mean you won't be laughing at me. Love you

My deepest condolences to Cherish, Jamie and the rest of Lilyana's family.... Your family will continue to be in my prayers.

Lily, Aunt Mel is so thankful that we were blessed to have you in our lives.  The time with you was short, but how you brought so much joy too so many.  Everyone that met you, you melted their hearts. I promise I will be there for your amazing mother. Love you little angel.

My sympathy for your loss. Please know that God is close to the brokenhearted ( Ps 34 : 18 ). He will help you to endure.

Rest easy, pretty girl. It was so easy to see how proud of you your mother was as she would light up every time we talked about you. You were so very loved by such a wonderful family. You were taken way too soon, but I have faith you're happy and at peace up there.

Our thoughts are with all of the family right now.

A sweet little beautiful girl is gone to be with God. She will always remain in our hearts and minds. Special prayers for the family. Rest in Peace Little Angel.

Crystal and Family,

I'm deeply saddened by the loss of your sweet Lily.  Please know that you are in my thought and prayers.  My your Lily bug rest peacefully.

Lilyana, you brought so much joy to all of us, in your short life. We will always remember you with great fondness. I was proud to call you my Goddaughter. Your Uncle Timmy loves you and he always will. Rest peacefully, Pumpkin.

It's a very sad day to learn that Lilyana is no longer with us. I'll remember forever her pair of big and bright eyes. Rest peacefully. 
Nina Rukki

OBITUARY

Lilyana Marie Juratovac

February 11, 2014 – March 16, 2016

Lemmon Funeral Home of Dulaney Valley Inc.

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