Antonietta Zorzi

-While she did enjoy the occasional trip to Casino-rama, she still loved her family more.

She was born in the Venetian province of Padova (Padua) in Northern Italy – where Galileo Galilei, the famous Italian astronomer, taught at the University of Padova, one of the oldest in Italy – and where Shakespeare drew inspiration for most of the setting in the Taming of the Shrew.

My mother was born in 1933 at a time when the depression was at its worst, just before WWII, and when Italy was led by the fascist dictator Benito Mussolini.

-My mother would say that the war did not impact her personally, except for the one time when German soldiers came through town in the middle of the night and took a moment to cover her with a blanket.

-My mother’s memories of Mussolini himself were of the bread that he brought to herself and the other poor peasants of Italy. At school, which she attended until grade 5 (after which the fees were unaffordable), the peasants would all get a “panino” with jam at recess time.

She was one of 8 children, and grew up on a farm, with no electricity, running water or heat – and certainly no “Hey Google” to solve life’s little mysteries and complexities.

It was subsistence living – you ate, what you grew.

It was a simple and modest life.

At the young age of 2, my mother was sent to live with a childless aunt & uncle to help on their farm, and she grew up there until age 20.

-She longed to be with her siblings, missing being part of her family’s day to day life. Her siblings, on the other hand, were jealous of what they imagined to be a more luxurious life, with full portions of “polenta” (or cornmeal) and one’s own bed to sleep in.

After marrying my father in 1958, my mother came to BEGIN a new life in Canada.

-At the time, my mother had just started a new job in Italy, working for a romance novelist. As it turns out, she was the subject of one of the stories, inspiring the romance novelist having met and married my father in a whirlwind 8 days (teenagers do not try this at home!). She didn’t, however, work as a romance writer, but rather as the family’s nanny.

Our mother’s memory lives on in the family she left behind:

Me, her stubborn daughter, Nancy.

She would always tell me that I was “cochutta”(stubborn in Italian), which, of course, I am. But, she loved me anyway.

She also leaves behind a proud son, Teddy – or Teodoro in Italian, which means I adore you, which is quite fitting, of course.

My brother always did right by my mother…right up to the end when he moved her into his family’s home, until her Alzheimer’s took full control and she required more round-the-clock care.

Next comes a dedicated daughter-in-law, Tina (or Ti-na – I apologize to most of you as this pronunciation is an inside family joke, stemming from some of our Romanian language lessons).

To this day I swear most times Tina seemed to know my mother better than I did, and was one of the few people that was able to get my mother to try something new – a food, a piece of clothing or an outing. There is also her more recent son-in-law and grandchildren; Nathan, Katie and Finn, who only met my mother a few times, but she stole their heart just the same. She is the only nonna they have ever known or had.

And of course, there are her two beautiful “nipotini” (grandchildren in Italian) Giulian and Sebastian, who not only were her strength and life, but also managed to save her life at that.

-You see my mother was babysitting Giulian and Sabby when they were just 5 and 3 years old respectively, when my mother started not feeling well.

Because of these precious responsibilities, she ended up having an ambulance called by Tina. This literally saved her from the massive heart attack she was having. Had she not been babysitting, she would have likely just lay down waiting for her “dolori”(or pains) to pass.

And, of course, there are all of you, our extended family and friends here, and those not able to be here as well.

-And as a side note, we’d like you to know that we did receive all of your phone calls, texts, emails, and FaceBook posts – far too many to respond to, but we did read each and every one.

There are three things that I want to leave you with that I feel exemplify my mother: her ingenuity, her frugality, and her strength

Ingenuity.

There are a couple of vignettes that tell the story of her ingenuity:

-As many of you know, Nutella is a staple in an Italian home. I was always personally very thankful that my parents thought Nutella was a nutritious food as it was a pretty large part of my, then, picky diet. Well…my nephew Sabby also likes Nutella. When nonna noticed, however, that Sabby would eat only the interior of the Nutella sandwiches, leaving the crusts behind (the parents here may recognize this sandwich-eating anomaly), she would take the crusts and lovingly re-Nutella them so that Sabby would eat those too.

-There was also the time when I was attending university in France, and wanting to reference an essay I had previously written, wrote home to ask my mother to mail said essay to me (yes, it’s hard to believe but there was a time before the internet, and email). Not wanting to spend too much money on postage mailing such a heavy package, my mother re-wrote the whole 2,500 word essay on airmail paper in script so small it required a magnifying glass to decipher (for the millennials and younger, airmail paper is as light as Kleenex, thus, would cost less to post).

Her frugality.

With only one working parent, my dad who was a plasterer by trade, and two children, she made sure never went without, my mother was a master at being frugal.

-To save money, my mother sewed all my clothes. I remember a day out would be going to the local Woolworth’s to buy a pattern and material for a new outfit.

One outfit that I was particularly proud of was this awesome gaucho set – for those unfamiliar, gauchos are basically capris by another mother. She sewed me this set that came with a matching jacket and vest in a very fetching neon orange and pink motif. Not wanting to waste anything, once that gaucho set had run its course, it later became the curtains in our basement.

Strength

Lastly, her strength is to be admired.

My mom faced many battles that she won:

-Living separate to her family, as you heard

-A hysterectomy

-Two miscarriages

-Breast cancer

-A 9 out of 10 heart attack, from which her grandchildren saved her, as you also heard

-BUT it was Alzheimer’s that ultimate beat her in the end. And to that I say – FORK YOU Alzheimer’s (this is when you all cheer!)

Her perseverance through such adversity is a powerful lesson for us, and, I believe, is part of her legacy. Her legacy is her strength above need, and family above all else.

Keep those priorities straight.

Keep that which is most important in focus.

Love and care for your family and friends.

And, don’t let adversities, or setbacks, or any distractions of the world (this is where you put your cell phones down), keep you from this most important aspect of life.

So in the words of Frank Sinatra, and now the end is near – but how do I end this story. That is like a last goodbye – impossible to do.

-The last few years of her life, when her Alzheimer’s was most severe, when she was no longer able to talk or to walk – our family was extended to the angles at Weston Terrace long-term care home who helped to take care of her home

-I remember at each visit, when I went to say goodbye, I’d look back a million times in the hopes that I’d catch her that one time, perhaps a moment of clarity, that she might look back and say goodbye …but of course she never could.

-And so that is how we’ll leave it nonna – neither of us will ever actually say goodbye. And, to tell the truth, I don’t mind that at all…because my mother lives on in my heart, and in all of yours.

Mom, may you rest in peace. I love you. Ti amo.