Jennifer Annette Ludden

How does one even begin to describe a tragedy like this?

With the shock and disbelief we are all still carrying, it’s almost as if wrapping letters, words, and sentences around our heartache will make it all the more real.

When we bring our babies into the world, we do so under the impression that we will leave this earth before them.

We spend years preparing them for our departure, hoping that we’ve given them all the tools they’ll need to carry on after we’re gone.

Can they cook the Thanksgiving turkey? Have they prepared for their retirement? Who will they call on their way home from work every day?

Can they love deeply? Will they be able to protect their hearts? Do they know what my final wishes are? But, how on Earth were we to prepare ourselves for life after the loss of one of our babies?

On Wednesday, February 6, our family was blindsided by the loss of our sweet Jenny.

She was 35 beautiful years young, and taken from us far too soon.

As our hearts break into tiny pieces and fall to the floor before us, we stand over the remnants just waiting to wake up from this agonizing nightmare.

Every time her name is said in reference to her passing, it’s as if we’re living in an alternate reality. It can’t be true, but yet... she’s not here.

She won’t be making the salads anymore for family dinners. She won’t be writing birthday cards with meticulously impeccable handwriting.

She isn’t here to pour the champagne for our traditional Christmas Eve sharing, or to create beautiful artwork for our homes.

She’ll miss sleepovers with her nieces and nephews with blowup mattresses, endless movies and popcorn. We won’t get to hear her witty sarcastic humor, or endless “Friends” references.

Her contagious laugh and genuine smile can only be experienced in the sweetest depths of our dreams.