Jason,

I miss ya' so much and owe so much to you. Thank you for teaching me to laugh again and be okay with exactly who I am. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not laughing from a joke we shared or telling a story that involves you. I love you so much man, and try my best every day to make the world and people around me as happy and full of laughter as you brought to me.

The guys down here all miss you so much. You will truly remain one of the most important and influential people on my life. I love you little buddy.

Jason,
My dearest friend, thanks for making this life enjoyable. You were my pillar of consistency as long as I can remember. It's not easy to take the pain out of childhood and adolescence, but we tried our best. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. Though, I've realized some things in the past few weeks. You subtly armed me with tools to ease into adulthood, not too quickly or slowly. To work hard, but not take anything too seriously. To focus, but to have limits. To hustle, and also procrastinate.  You made these dichotomies possible, all with apparent ease. 

It was a tall order to eulogize you, but I know you'd be happy with my efforts. I could have mumbled for ten minutes (and probably did) and you would've told me I did well. I only setup the premise; your legacy told the rest of the story. People like me need people like you to guide our confidence in the right direction.  People like me will probably never be comfortable giving a eulogy and people like you help fill in the gap between what we say and what we mean. It was beautiful to see that group of eclectic group of caring people. From the pious to the punk dudes, the whole range cared about you. It was a reminder to keep the community together. It's easy to forget this many people are available to help when we rarely see the whole group assembled. You would have been proud. 

Your personality was so infectious; it's propagated throughout time and distance. You were a memory factory, generating substantial thought and entertainment from whole cloth. Like a gonzo story teller, you'd end up conveying truth in a tangled web of fabrication. I'm glad I often had a camera around, but the pictures just catalyze memories you created. You lived at least several lives in your years. 

Just as you shared your joy, we were all here to share your pain. I hope your mind is finally at ease and you are pain free. It was a fortunate pleasure to know you. We are affected but you gave us the tools to handle it. Everyone will be taken care of. You already did most of the work.

Dear Jason,

There is some much I want to say and I don't know where to begin.  Maybe I should start with the beginning.  The day you were born you were so small.  I remember holding you in my hand think how tiny you were.  Little did I know what a giant impression you would leave on everyone you met.
  
As a baby you always loved motorcycles.  Often I would catch you crawling on mine.  I was so worried that you would tip it over but you seemed to maneuver around it like it was second nature.  I remember one time your mother was doing a fund raising project with her students and we decided to pay her a visit.  You were less than 2 years old but you wanted to take the motorcycle to see her.  I put my helmet on you and straddled you between my legs and arms as we rode off to meet her.  Half way there you decided it was nap time and you feel asleep.  I couldn't stop for fear that you would fall off so I prayed that we would hit every green light and not have to stop at any stop signs.  When we reached our destination I had to slowly drive by your mother as she snagged you from my arms.  I knew then and there you would have a love for motorcycles.

One thing you didn't love was the purple dinosaur Barney.  I use to tease you about Barney and sing the theme song to you.  You would get so indignant when I would sing that song.  Often we would be in a store and you would ask for toys.  I would grab a Barney doll and sing you the song, it was all you could do to stop from running out of the store.  I don't know what Barney ever did to you but you didn't like him.

There was someone else you didn't like, it was Billard.  Remember the story?  You were only a child and we were visiting your grandparent's cabin in Duck Creek Utah.  One summer day you heard a knock at that door and raced to answer it.  An older gentleman with a scruffy beard and a flannel shirt was standing at the door and the only thing that separated you from him was a screen door.  He asked you a question and you slammed the door in his face and ran to the protection of your family.  Once we calmed you down you were able to tell us that an axe murder named Billard was coming after you and your family.  We later found out a friend of your grandfathers had come to the door and asked you if Bill (your grandfather's name) was here?  Billard will always be the axe murder that lived in the woods.

We had many memories of the woods.  One in particular stands out, we had gone to Running Springs with your scout troop to do a service project at the scout camp.  The first night there we were settling down in our tent when we heard crashing noises coming from our camp ground.  We peeked outside our tent to see three bears tearing apart our coolers and sacks full of food.  We were so scared and sat in our tent for what seemed hours fretting over what to do.  We realized that we had food in our tent and was afraid the bears would smell it and climb in with us.  We threw the food out of our tent and then realized how stupid that was so we brought it back in.  We were terrified that we would be attacked so we decided to jump out of the tent and scare the bears off.  It had to be one of the scariest nights we had camping.

It seemed I could never take you camping without something happening.  Remember the times we spent at Campland in San Diego?  I think that was when Sammy-mantha was created.  Sammy-mantha was your alter ego that was a half man half woman, paranoid, psychotic, absentminded, physically challenged and emotionally unstable person that would do or say just about anything in rapid succession.  Once you became Sammy-mantha no one could stop from laughing.  Fortunately it didn't come out that often.  You always had a good read on people, looking back I honestly believe Sammy-mantha was created from your observation of mankind and all the afflictions we suffer.

There was this one time we were parked at an AM/PM gas station getting gas and you looked at me and said those two guys are going to steal some beer.  We watched their movements and sure enough not more than a minute later they had grab a twelve pack at the entrance and took off running out of the store with an AM/PM employee racing after them.  I asked you how you knew what was going to happen and you said I could just tell.  

There were many things you had an insight on but your biggest was people.  You have an aura about you that people were attracted to.  You were always self-conscious of your height and wished you were taller but you never saw just how tall you were in everyone else's eyes.  You could always be counted on, whether it was a project at work, taking your little bother to Halloween Horror Nights or protecting your step sisters from someone you perceived as a creep, you were always there to be the big brother.

Family was so important to you and the greatest joy you had was having Riley.  He was the light of your life.  You were so proud to be his father.  There was no one more important to you.  He was your life, your heart beat, your every breath.  There was nothing you wouldn't do for that little guy.  When I would see the two of you together I knew you were complete.

Jason, you packed so much in the short life you had on this earth.  You touched the lives of so many.  You had an ability to persuade teachers to pass you when you should have failed.  You had parents angered by you because of your antics at one moment and laughing with you the next.  But most important you were so easy to love and many loved you.  You made friends in this life who will be your friends even after this life.  You inspired those who were at their lowest point in their lives and praised those who were at their highest point.  You loved, you laughed and you created memories for yourself and those around you.  You will always be my Champ and I am honored to be your father.

I love and miss you,

One of my favorite memories of Jason is when he took me to see Belle and Sebastian at the Hollywood Bowl. I had bought tickets for the show for my boyfriend at the time and myself, but of course we broke up right before the concert. Belle and Sebastian was my absolute favorite band. I didn't want to get rid of my ticket, but I also didn't want to go alone. I knew there was someone I could count on to give me an absolutely fun, memorable  night.  So I asked Jason if he'd go with me instead and be my "date" for the night. He was the perfect date. He made me laugh the whole drive down. We talked about serious stuff too. Jason was an incredibly multifaceted conversationalist. Even though we shared a lot of love for the same music, I'm pretty sure Belle and Sebastian wasn't his cup of tea. He never indicated that once though, and I could tell his whole focus was to ensure I had a great time watching my beloved band. This wasn't the only time this happened. Whenever I expressed interest in a concert, I could count on Jason to come with me. 

This occasion stands out, but Jason and I had many cousin adventures that I cherish. He really was a brother to me. I remember us driving around Lucerne Valley in the dark, telling ghost stories and urban legends regarding the creepy, eccentric  town.  Another time he visited me in Provo. We spent all of our nickles at the Nickelcade until we finally beat House of the Dead, my favorite zombie shoot-'em-up. I watched my first movie after my mission with his family, holding Riley and talking about our matching birthmarks. Of course there are millions of memories of us as kids--selling Grandpa's old liquor at the side of the road at the cabin, playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, scaring Aunt Debbie with creepy crawlers--but our later memories mean the most to me. It means the world to me that Jason and I later developed a friendship that went beyond childhood nostalgia and into our adult years. I love Jason so much and know we'll have an incredible reunion one day.

I don't know where to start or what stories to share. I feel like the obvious ones would be the day we ran off and eloped, the day we had a wedding ceremony, the birth of our child or the day we called it quits (all of them.).. even though they were all huge memories for all us.. The ones I think of the most are the small, stupid ones that make me laugh. The ones that only you would get. Today on the drive home, I thought about Ben, from the Costco gas station in Upland. How you would mimic him and you gave him a voice and a fish. A fictitious, pet fish. We didn't know Ben but Ben became a stupid character in our home that we would laugh about for hours.
 I thought about the time you called me while I was doing a wedding at the AV golf course, you were doing dishes and two glasses got stuck together, when you twisted them apart they broke and sliced your finger to the bone. I came home to find you pale, laying on the kitchen floor of that funky apartment on Chahalis with a towel wrapped around your thumb as though it would fall off. When I asked you if you needed to go to the hospital you started laughing hysterically, which made me laugh and I don't remember the end to the rest of that memory.
 You used to ask me all the time, even after we divorced if my knuckles ever hurt.. because my arms were so long you were sure that my knuckles would drag on the ground from time to time.. You were such a sweet talker.
 We had so many of these memories and moments.. some that we still talked about before you passed.. but my favorite times with you were our latest. The times you would come by the house and sit on the couch and talk. The times you would call me or vice versa and we would talk about things outside of our son. This last year, I felt like we were better friends then we had ever been and that makes me miss you, terribly. I haven't been able to find the right memories to share or the right words to say to you here.. so these ones will have to do. Riley and I miss you so much and Cooper too. You were a light and voice in our home that won't be forgotten.

Jason was such an awesome friend and I am truly upset that he passed. I have so many memories with Jason and Eric growing up I could write a book on them. But my favorite one is how we would skateboard during the day and watch horror movies at night. Jason always treated me like a brother and always made me feel welcome. Jason always made me laugh and at times cry but I always knew if I had a problem I could talk or hang out with him.I loved Jason like a brother and I am deeply saddened that he passed.

OBITUARY

Jason Daniel Ashworth

November 4, 1984 – April 18, 2015

Stone Funeral Home

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