Arline Dear

Arline Dear (nee Sam Sing) passed away peacefully on April 6th, 2013. Arline was born in Vancouver on October 10, 1918. Survived by Jack, her loving husband of 66 years, her devoted children Allan (Barb), Jackie, Leanne (Gord), Bryan (Michelle), and “adopted” sons Bryan Mah and Bruce Horton (Myrna), ten grandchildren, Melia, Kara, Chelsi (Jeff), Laura, Lindsay, Kyle, Madison, Tim (Andrea), Kevin (Amanda), Ryan (Tiana), seven great-grandchildren Kaden, Rylan, Makenna, Lynden, Lowen, Emma, Ethan and her many much-loved relatives and friends. A special thanks to Dr. Ferguson, Dr. Ostrow, Dr. Wong, Dr. Black and the medical staff at VGH. Arline was an angelic spirit who extended her immense love and opened her door to everyone she met. Her boundless generosity, unshakeable good humour, gentle encouragement and selfless devotion to her fellow human beings serve as lasting inspiration to all who were privileged to know her. Forever remembered with great love. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to a charity of choice. Visitation for family and friends will be held on Monday, April 15, 2013, from 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm at Glenhaven Memorial Chapel, 1835 East Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC. where the funeral service will be held on Tuesday, April 16th, 2013 at 1:00 pm. Burial will follow at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, 3789 Royal Oak Ave. Burnaby, BC. Arrangements entrusted to Glenhaven Memorial Chapel, Vancouver, BC. 604.255.5444. Robert Leier, Funeral Director.

Tribute to Arline Dear

Thank you for gathering with us today, to honour the beautiful life and extraordinary spirit of our grandmother, Arline. Grandma was an immensely positive person who always looked on the bright side, and her hope for this day has been that it will be one of celebration, a day of joy and gratitude for a life well lived. She was grateful to have been surrounded by so many wonderful family members and friends, and she would be extremely proud and thrilled that the people she cherished are together today in her memory. Grandma was one of those rare people who touched everyone she met -- there are few people who are as universally loved. She had a way of extending her love and generosity at all times, whether to a family member or to the person she happened to be sitting next to on the bus. I don't think I know of anyone who's made as many friends as Grandma did while waiting at a bus stop or shopping. She believed in enjoying people and enjoying life, and her view on how to deal with losing a loved one reflected this. A few years ago my cousin Laura asked her how to cope with grief, and she told her: "It's pretty hard, but you have to deal with it the best way you can. No matter how hard you grieve you have to be sensible, tell yourself, 'No matter how you cry and fuss, you're not helping anyone so you just have to accept it and hope they're happy when they're gone.'" She would want us all to live by those words now.

Arline was born in Vancouver, at home, on October 10, 1918, the second-youngest of eight children. Growing up in Powell River, she was extremely close to her parents, referring to them as her idols, and she was such a devoted helper at home that her mother's nickname for her was "my right hand." As her parents' health declined she nursed them with unwavering devotion -- even at a young age she was the selfless, loving person that we all came to know and cherish. In 1942, after her parents had passed away, a chance meeting in Vancouver between Arline and Jack happily altered the course of their lives. Grandma was a strong believer in destiny, and I know she felt that her connection to Grandpa was fated. She told me that when she first laid eyes on him she thought, now there's a good-looking guy, and likewise, when he first laid eyes on her he thought, now there's a good-looking girl, and then they simply kept bumping into each other until romance blossomed. Grandma was still living in Powell River then, and much of their courtship was conducted by letter, until they married in 1946. She spoke of the excitement she had felt when she was picking out new clothes for her wedding trousseau at the only ladies' dress shop in Powell River, on the verge of embarking with Grandpa on a new chapter in their lives. Grandma was always a fashionable woman, and she believed in looking like a lady throughout her life. Her three cardinal rules were: 1. Always wear lipstick. 2. Always comb your hair. 3. Never let them know how old you are.

Yes, from the time we were little, Grandma trained us to tell her that she was young and beautiful whenever she asked, "Am I getting old?" And when we responded as we'd been trained to, she would smile and say that she'd trained us well. In other words, she prepared us for marriage. Arline and Jack went on to have four children, and motherhood was her great joy. She was a doting parent who lived for the happiness of her kids, filling their home with plenty of love and her famous baking. Not only did she nurture her own children, she opened her door to the entire neighbourhood, nurturing and feeding every child who showed up. She was known for helping everyone, and offering her warm smile and beloved brownies. Arline, simply by being herself, gave her children a tremendous legacy of kindness and generosity.

Just as she was a doting mother, she was a doting grandmother, and she and her grandchildren took great delight in the times they spent together. We loved Grandma's attention, which she lavished on all of us unconditionally.

When I was little and stayed overnight at my grandparents' house, I would stand at the foot of their bed waiting for Grandma to invite me to crawl in with them, which she always did. She did everything to make sure we felt loved and had fun, and we all adored going with her on shopping trips to the Bay.

Grandma was conscious of staying fit, and when we were little we would do her exercise program with her. My sisters and I were so attached to her that after we finished exercising we would follow her into the bathroom and sit beside the tub while she took a bath. Grandma was incredibly accommodating, and she never seemed to mind that we didn't let her have a moment's peace.

Grandma loved to feed family and friends, and family dinners were a highlight for her. She and Grandpa cooked amazing food, and if they ever got into a spat while they were cooking, they made sure to argue in Chinese so their grandkids wouldn't have a clue what was going on. They would heap food on everyone's plate as though their guests hadn't eaten for weeks. One of my childhood friends nearly exploded when Grandma insisted he eat several pounds of corned beef. She loved to pass along her favourite recipes, and in particular her granddaughter Lindsay has inherited her love of baking, much to her delight.

She had a terrific sense of humour and even recently, when she was in the hospital, it never left her. Even from her hospital bed, she told people she needed to keep her cane with her at all times for self-defence, in case any men wanted to crawl into bed with her. She was thrilled to receive a steady stream of visitors, displaying her trademark kindness and good grace, eager to show her appreciation for the support of family and friends.

Grandma lived her life with selfless devotion to her fellow human beings, and everyone gathered here today agrees that we are so much richer for having known her. Her great spirit reminds us to always keep an open door and an open heart, to see everyone as a potential loved one. She believed in living in the present and seeing the beauty of life.

She would want everyone here to move forward with the optimistic attitude that never left her, taking our happy memories of her with us wherever we go. And along with those memories, we will carry our gratitude to her for being such a bright and loving light to all of us.

Love always,

Your adoring Grandchildren

Melia McClure and Kevin Dear