Barbara F. Di Chiro

Barbara Frances Di Chiro passed away at the age of 83 on Sunday, November 27, 2011 at her home in Bethesda, Maryland. The beloved wife of Giovanni Di Chiro (who died on August 27, 1997), Barbara is survived by her daughter, Giovanna, 56, and twin sons, Marco and Patrick, both 55.

The children hosted a memorial open house celebration at the Di Chiro Family home in Bethesda on Saturday, December 3rd. At that moving, yet joyful gathering, Giovanna, Marco and Patrick were very gratified to receive the loving condolences and warm support from many of Mom’s and the Di Chiro family’s dearest friends and neighbors. Some of those friends and neighbors go back to the family’s earliest days at 5719 Kingswood Court. The open house was a memorable and heartfelt celebration of Barbara and her extraordinary life – a life that touched so many people across the years and throughout the world.

The fact is that Barbara was not just Mom to her own kids. She was a caring surrogate “Mom” to many other friends as well (and even to her children’s “exes”!). People knew that they could talk about anything with Barbara, and that she was always willing to lend a supportive ear and “had your back.” She was there in good times and bad, providing helpful advice, guidance, love, or just a friendly, lively conversation when you needed it. More than a few people have lauded her as a woman of great wisdom and deep compassion.

Barbara F. Phillips was born on February 5, 1928 in Somerville, Massachusetts, and later resided in the nearby towns of Arlington and Concord with her family. (Her Massachusetts roots could still be detected in her softening, yet recognizable “Boston accent.”) She was the daughter of Charles A. Phillips, an attorney and businessman, and Dora Phillips (née, Pezzetti), whose family had emigrated from Bologna, Italy, and had settled in Wellesley, Massachusetts. Barbara’s mother Dora died when she was just starting college. Grandpa Phillips died many years later. Happily, the Di Chiro kids had the opportunity to spend time with him during summer trips to Massachusetts before he passed. Mom had one sibling, an older brother named Charles Phillips, Jr. “Uncle Charles” died in 1991, not long after his wife Betty passed away.

Barbara grew up in the Boston suburbs during the World War II years. She told vivid stories of life in the Boston area during those tumultuous war years, including the rationing of food and fuel and other security regulations required of a country engaged in a world war. She later attended Regis College in suburban Boston where she earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Education and trained as a school teacher. Specializing as a Kindergarten teacher, she taught school in Boston and later in Maryland. A modern, independent woman way before her time, Barbara insisted her father and brother teach her to drive, and after earning her license, she would chauffeur her women college friends to and from Regis in nearby Weston, Massachusetts.

In July of 1953, as a young doctor, Giovanni set out for Boston City Hospital on a Fulbright Scholarship to serve a 6-month residency in radiology. Before coming to Boston, Giovanni had been pursuing his medical studies in Paris, France, and prior to that, in Stockholm, Sweden. Mom tells the story that she met “Papá” on a blind date, arranged by a mutual friend (another Italian doctor). Several months later, Giovanni proposed to Barbara and she made the life-changing decision to embark on a new life in a new country.

On July 22, 1954, Barbara departed on the S.S. Saturnia traveling from New York to Italy. After arriving, she would soon start a job teaching at the NATO base in Naples while taking up residence in a beautiful apartment in the Vomero section of the city. The Vomero sits high in the hills overlooking the Mediterranean Sea, with a spectacular view of the Bay of Naples and Mount Vesuvius . Barbara and Giovanni were married in a church in Napoli on October 9, 1954. They spent their honeymoon on the Island of Capri (where the photo of Mom and Papa on this site was taken).

From the wonderful memorial written by Dr. Michael S. Huckman, a long-time colleague of Giovanni’s and dear friend of the Di Chiro family, here is an account of what happened after Barbara and Giovanni were married in 1954: “Although her father was only concerned whether Giovanni could support her, his father disapproved of his marrying a ‘foreigner’ and refused to attend the ceremony, but relented after pressure from Giovanni’s mother. He ultimately developed great fondness for Barbara. They established residence in a home overlooking the Bay of Naples, and there, 9 months and 9 days after their wedding, Barbara gave birth to a daughter, Giovanna, who was also Umberto’s (Giovanni’s father) first grandchild. Eleven months later, twin boys, Patrick and Marco were born.”

In early 1958, Giovanni relocated to Bethesda, Maryland, to establish the Department of Neuroimaging at the newly opened National Institutes of Health/NIH (at that time, Bethesda was more akin to a country town than to the cosmopolitan city it has become). Not long after, Barbara and the three kids traveled to the United States arriving in Bethesda in March of 1958 where the young Di Chiro family established roots, eventually moving into what would become the family house on Kingswood Court.

Barabara re-established her teaching career in the U.S., and became a beloved teacher to scores of active Kindergarteners in Montgomery County, Maryland. After teaching for several years, she made the decision to focus on her growing family and would become a full time homemaker. Barbara was well known as a connoisseur of Italian cuisine, and she imparted this love and appreciation of good food to her children. She was an avid gardener, and her home was known for its beautiful and verdant landscapes; Barbara loved the natural world and planted flowers in every corner of the yard, many of them attracting a wide variety of butterflies and her favorite songbirds.

Over the years, Barbara was not only a strong and loving mother and supportive friend to Giovanna, Marco, and Patrick, she was also an indispensible partner for her husband Giovanni. Because Giovanni was by the end of 1958 a paraplegic, forced to use a wheelchair, Barbara had to travel with him everywhere (including to every corner of the world) to help him pursue his pioneering work in Neuroradiology and Nuclear Medicine. From the same memorial of Giovanni Di Chiro, here is how Dr. Huckman described Mom’s essential partnership with Papá:

“He is survived by his wife and constant companion, Barbara, whose unselfish devotion to him is worthy of beatification. In his letter to her after Giovanni’s death, Dr. Torgney Greitz (a Swedish doctor who was a mentor and teacher of Giovanni’s during his formative years in Stockholm), said, “I do not want to finish this letter without thanking you for the self-sacrificing work you have done by always taking care of Giovanni. Anyone understands that without your commitment, Giovanni’s accomplishments would not have been possible. You have shown a most admirable perseverance. Thank you so much for making an important chapter of Neuroradiology possible (September 9, 1997).”

Giovanna, Marco and Patrick can relate many stories about how their Mom was always there for them to support their dreams, big and small. From driving them everywhere and anywhere, to providing steady advice and counsel (and also the occasional “loving” whack from a wooden spoon), Barbara always strove to help her children find their own way. And, she was known to play the same role for the friends of her own kids (her “other” daughters and sons, as Mom referred to them).

Some other things you may or may not have known about Barbara: In addition to being an amazing cook, she always had a great sense of modern style, both in her fashion and interior design. She was an accomplished pianist, and loved to play popular music and showtunes, including wonderful ragtime favorites from her youth. She was an avid reader of newspapers and was informed about every aspect of the news – from pop culture to global politics. As such, she was respected as an astute political and cultural observer and commentator. She had a strong opinion on most topics, and loved a good conversation. She took great pride in her family’s heritage, both the Welsh/Irish side and the Italian background. But, there is no question that Mom was a true “Italiana.” She was deeply proud of her Italian roots and made sure Giovanna, Marco, and Patrick fully appreciated and stayed close to their Italian heritage and history.

Amongst Mom’s many passions was her deep love of animals, of all types. From the neighborhood cats who would show up at the Di Chiro door (and never leave, to Papá’s chagrin), to the rehabilitation of baby robins and blue jays, and her delight at the noisy families of crows, squirrels and foxes who all visited her sanctuary on Kingswood Court, Barbara found immense joy in her animal friends. In loving memory of Barbara and her passion for animals -- and in lieu of flowers or similar thoughtful gestures -- the Di Chiro children would be immensely grateful if instead friends chose to make a donation to an organization that supports the welfare of animals. Some of Mom’s favorite organizations include: the Best Friends Animal Society (www.bestfriends.org), the Doris Day Animal League (http://www.ddal.org/), and the Humane Society (http://www.humanesociety.org/).

Barbara Di Chiro made a lasting impression on everyone who came in contact with her. As a dear friend noted at the time of her passing: “Barbara was a classic; she was one of a kind.” Barbara will always be remembered for her warmth, generosity of spirit, and intelligence.

Her children – Giovanna, Marco and Patrick – want to express their sincere thanks to all the cherished family and friends who have been so supportive and giving during this difficult time. Barbara’s incredible spirit will live on in their love, kindness and remembrance.

Below is the quote that Barbara’s children selected for the prayer card posted on this memorial site. Visitors are encouraged to leave their personal remembrances of Barbara on this web-page:

Grieve not…nor speak of me with tears...

but laugh and talk of me as though I were beside you.

I loved you so…’twas Heaven here with you.