OBITUARY

Patricia C. Ruppert

October 5, 1937February 26, 2019
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Patricia C. Ruppert was born on October 5, 1937 in Bronx, New York and passed away on February 26, 2019 in Orange County, New York.

Services

PREVIOUS SERVICES:

  • Visitation Friday, March 1, 2019
  • Funeral Service Friday, March 1, 2019

OTHER SERVICES:

  • Cremation Will Be Private
REMEMBERING

Patricia C. Ruppert

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Donna Ruppert

February 27, 2019

I remember when Pat married my father, they were good times and Me and my brother Rich would visit every weekend, I gained a sister Donna and a brother Danny from this relationship, It seems so long ago but I will always have fond memories of Pat and my Dad and the fun weekends we all had. May Pat Rest In Peace , my sincere condolences to Donna and Danny .

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Biography

My Mom, by Donna Kinsley
Patricia (Pat) Ruppert, our beloved Mother, Grandmother, Sister and Aunt was born on October 5, 1937, and was immediately called the “hard luck baby” as any family money was lost; and a poor, dysfunctional childhood began which was the envy of no one. She was the second youngest of 6 siblings, Jimmy, Peggy, Irene, Peter and her youngest brother Michael, who she protected fiercely. At the age of 16 she was on her own living in a furnished apartment and working at Ma Bell Telephone Company in the Bronx on the Grand Concourse as the other choice of being a nun did not fit her personality. She had two children, Donna in 1961 and Danny in 1971 and a couple of husbands along the way with Richard (Whitey) Ruppert her husband and Danny’s beloved Father at the time of his death in 1979.
My mother was a survivor, and my brother and I wanted for nothing. We never went hungry as she did as a child and she would make sure we got what we needed and in many cases what we wanted. Despite getting no presents under her own Christmas tree in her youth, my brother and I would get enough presents that it would seem that Santa accidently left us the presents for the entire building in our apartment. She loved Christmas and giving people presents and could not wait until Christmas morning to give us our presents. We would have to open a few presents the night before and as the years went by, we had to open all our presents before Christmas morning because she could not wait. This Christmas traditions continued with my kids, where she insisted they go to Kohl’s early every Christmas season and buy their “pre-Christmas” gifts that were not allowed to be held to Christmas. She loved decorating for Christmas and had 4 big carton boxes of Christmas knick-knacks for her room in our house
Some other fond memories were of going to Seaside Heights each summer with our extended family, aunts, uncles and cousins and staying at the Aztec Motel right on the boardwalk and right across from the amusement rides. My 80 year old Uncle George was a minor celebrity at the Aztec bar and would sing on stage Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” with the entertainer Lenny Galloway. As everyone was enjoying themselves at the bar, I’d come in- always to someone in the family throwing me a twenty for the boardwalk games and rides. We would need an extra cab (yes, a cab to Seaside Heights) to bring home all the “stuff” my brother and I would win on the boardwalk.
My mother also enjoyed sitting in her folding chair on Mosholu Parkway with all the other Moms from the block, sometimes sun tanning with a silver sun reflector board (remember those) gabbing with the ladies and getting us all Cubby Cone when the truck arrived. My husband Frank would probably say I was lying but she also liked to walk or saunter real slow the neighborhood to Jerome Avenue with her friend Erma almost every day during the last years she lived in the Bronx.
She was also a life-long Yankee fan and was once propositioned by Joe Pepitone after a game we went to. She wanted to pretend to go with him to get me an autograph but that didn’t go over so well with her male companion and the autograph was never received. I remember walking to Yankee Stadium as a child from 170th Street and Morris Avenue off the Grand Concourse and celebrating my 10th Birthday party at Yankee Stadium. She loved birthdays and especially ice cream cake. I remember on Halloween, she’d have the neighborhood kids over and we dunk for apples in our kitchen sink and the apples had coins stuck in them. As she got older, she enjoyed watching the games on TV and especially enjoyed Yankee Classics as it took out the anxiety of watching a game where the outcome was uncertain.

When I think of my mother when as I was a young kid, I think of her as one of the first modern mothers on the block. Whereas my friend’s mothers were always Mrs. so and so, my mother insisted my friends call her Pat. She was all my cousins’ favorite Aunt – “Auntie Pat” and my friends and cousins loved coming over to our apartment. She even knew how to do that model pose with the hand on the hips before it was in Vogue. She liked to dress up and put on make-up and I remember going to the beauty parlor to pick-up wig falls for her hair. I also believe she invented “pre-gaming” because when I think back to her getting dolled up to go out there was that screwdriver drink on the bathroom sink while she applied her make-up. She also loved to shop and I remember as a kid she would shop what felt like hours in Alexander’s and I would just sit under some clothes rack and wait it out. Sometimes I don’t know where I came from and she always said that Jacqueline and Jennifer were the “girly” girls she never had.
Transitioning from living in the Bronx where you could saunter or taxi to everything to living in Orange County without knowing how to drive was a hard adjustment and limited her but she did it to help us with kids. Shortly after moving to Orange County, she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis after her Fibromyalgia diagnosis, began the years of physical pain. With my work schedule and the decision Frank and I made for him to go to a part-time work schedule to be home for our 3 kids made him the de facto car driver to my mother as well, driving her to doctor’s appointments and other appointments. At times this could have been a Driving Miss Daisy Part II movie with the usual trials and tribulations, as Frank would push my mother more than I dared, but I know my mother and I are eternally grateful to Frank for all his efforts. This especially after her getting a taste of some of my first hand nursing care where most of the time I provided more damage than healing… She was also a big fan of Frank’s cooking and his love of supplying her desserts; as most people who knew my mother knows that desserts are a straightaway to her heart. Frank knows my mother’s likes and dislikes more than anyone and I when I would go to get her something he would tell me she doesn’t like that or get her this she likes it better.
A big source of happiness and pride for my mother are her 3 grandchildren, Jacqueline, Christopher and Jennifer which she would never call Jackie, Chris and Jen but always by their full names. When Jacqueline was born in 1995, my mother was still living in the Bronx and babysat her 2 days a week and would love taking her to the Oval Park to ride the swings, play in the sprinklers and get Italian Ices from the vendor and meet her other Grandma - Grandma Kay. My mother would continue to watch Jacqueline after we moved to Orange County walking her to the pre-school behind our house. She was always willing and available to watch all the kids and give Frank and me a night out for a movie and/or dinner date. When my kids got their report card or any other acknowledgement of accomplishment, the first place they go would be to Grandma’s room to show off and “collect” their cash rewards. My mother couldn’t read a report card if you paid her but it didn’t matter as long as they showed her a piece of paper cash was soon in their hand. For every dress up event, the outfit had to be modeled pass Grandma’s room, which always ended for the girls as you look so “sexy” much to the chagrin of their Father. To her, Christopher was always the most handsome boy in the world. She took great pride in their accomplishments.
At the last stage of her life, when her activities became limited by illnesses and she became more reclusive, see enjoyed watching TV, AMC and TMC Movies, Family Feud and Cash Cab and talking to her sister Irene and brother Michael on the phone. She enjoyed having our dog Sandy by her side all day, as he acted as her service dog – protecting her and staying very close to her when no one was home. She enjoyed the company of her aide Mary so much we were not permitted to make any doctor’s appointments during Mary’s time. During her last year, as my mother’s health deteriorated, my brother Danny was a great source of unconditional love and support to her. He would visit every weekend and happily watch Family Feud 15 times a day with her and sit in her room and shoot the breeze all day. And on the days he wasn’t with her he would call her 6 times a day. They always had this special emotional bond that would never die and will not die now as I know she will be his guardian angel. For me, we spent over 50 years living under the same roof and saw each other practically every day, but my time was always juggled between, work, commuting, Frank and the kids, and she never wanted me to miss out on important things in my own life. We did enjoy watching Yankee games together and the classic movies and I could watch a couple of episodes of Family Feud but not a marathon, I like Steve Harvey but not that much. As a child, before DVD’s and VCR’s, when a good classic movie was on late at night or early in the morning, she would set the clock and we would wake up to watch the movie together (especially Shane or Casablanca).
My mother suffered at times from mental fragility and at other times was so mentally strong. She was able to summon the courage and cared for her sister Peggy in the last year of her life and when she put her mind to it could do anything. She decided to quit drinking in 1991 and that was it. She decided to stop smoking in 2015 and that was it. There were no relapses, it was decided and it was done. I think she suffered more at times because she had such empathy. If I was having a bad day or something was going on in my life, I did not have to say a word. She would just look at me and she know instantly, asking, “what’s wrong?”. As a kid, I would try and not tell her things because at the end of the day it would hurt or bother her more than me. I get over it in a day but for her it would take a week or longer. When I got a headache she would get a headache, she always felt my pain. When I was 17, I cut my pinky accidently with a knife and cut the tendons and ligaments and had to have this new first time surgery. When we went to the surgeon’s office, he was telling me to move my finger up and down but it wouldn’t move, so he says to my Mom, “show her how to move her finger” and he wants my mother to move her pinky up and down, but she just held out her hand and her pinky would not move and he kept saying to her show her how to move her finger, but it was useless. He then screamed at her “what do you have the same thing as her”? We laughed at that the whole way home from Montefiore Hospital. We were walking by people we knew on the streets and they would ask what’s so funny, and we’d say I was going to have this new breakthrough surgery and we just kept cracking up and the people would look at us like we were nuts. We did have many times, where we laughed uncontrollably over things that other people would not find too funny. She would say at times that I did not have a sense of humor and I would say, my friends think I’m very humorous. It took a while, but most recently, she said “You are kind of witty” and I said I told you so!
I could go on and on and probably write a book about our life together, but the one constant through all the years, my brother and I, always, always knew we were so deeply loved and we knew she would always have our backs in good times and especially bad times. I will believe that she is finally out of her pain and suffering and at peace continuing to have our backs. My mother was dealt a bad hand at birth, but I feel she left this world with a “full-house”. We will miss you forever! You and me against the world, I love you Mama!