Ruth F. Cote

Waterville – Ruth Cuthbertson Ferland Cote, 90, passed away peacefully on May 23, 2017 at Lakewood Continuing Care Center with her family by her side. Ruth was born in Winslow, Maine on April 17th, 1927, the only child of James Nelson Cuthbertson and Ruth Allen Cuthbertson.

Ruth graduated from Winslow High School, Class of 1944, and was involved in their scholarship program. She worked as a medical secretary for many years until her retirement from Kennebec Valley Mental Health Center.

Ruth had a passion for reading and always had many books within reach. She was an avid knitter and crocheter and her children and grandchildren were blessed to have received her beautiful afghans. Ruth greatly enjoyed the Belfast camp retreat which was held yearly by Moonlight Bay at Lakewood.

She is survived by her husband Carl Cote; her children: Elizabeth Ferland, Virginia Allen (James), Sarah Cunningham (Lloyd), Peter Ferland (Beth) and Paul Ferland (Sherry); her stepchildren: Thomas Cote, Angela Davis, Emily McDonald (Charles) and Beth Ferland (Peter); 19 grandchildren; many great-grandchildren and two great-great-granddaughters. She was predeceased by her first husband Albert “Pete” Ferland and two grandsons: Joshua Moss and Nathan Davis.

The family would like to extend their thanks to the staff of Lakewood, especially those that had primary care of our mother – too many to name them all. The family also expresses their gratitude to Healthreach Hospice for their support, guidance and caring through this difficult time.

Visiting hours will be on Tuesday May 30 from 5 – 7 pm at Veilleux Funeral Home, 8 Elm Street, Waterville, ME. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Wednesday May 31 at 11:00 am at Notre Dame Catholic Church, 110 Silver Street, Waterville with burial following in Pine Grove Cemetery, 88 Grove Street, Waterville. Please visit www.veilleuxfuneralhome.com to view a video collage of Ruth’s life and to share condolences, memories and tributes with her family.

The family asks that donations in Ruth’s memory be made to: Humane Society Waterville Area, 100 Webb Road, Waterville, ME 04901or The Moonlight Bay Camp Program, Lakewood Continuing Care Center, 200 KMD, Waterville, ME 04901

**********************************************************

RUTH F. COTE

EULOGY 05/31/2017

TRACY ...

To some, she was Ruth; or Mom; or Nana or even Nana Ruth.

To me, she was Nana – a woman beautiful in stature and soul. She always seemed to me as almost “Regal” with her perfectly manicured nails, her skirts or dresses matched with her heels and her perfectly styled white hair. She always seemed a little too “classy” for our family.

But THEN…then she’d say things like, “Your Father looked like a caveman who crawled out from under a rock”. Or when I got my first (and small and tasteful I might add) tattoo at 18 years old and she said, “Instead of calling you Tracy, I’ll just call you Trampy.”

But I wasn’t offended, those were Nana’s terms of endearment always said with her little giggle and a wink… “Nanaisms”.

My memories are filled with Sundays after church with numerous cousins eating donuts and watching TV in the den. Summer weekends out to camp, Nana and Pepe always there watching and smiling enjoying the families they helped to create. There was nothing Nana loved more than her family.

Several of her grandchildren shared their memories of Nana for us to share with you. Memories such as sleepovers at Nana and Pepe’s house, helping them to decorate for Christmas and Friday night dinners eating Antonio’s pizza and watching Happy Days, Brady Bunch and Laverne and Shirley!

What about that gum drop tree or all of the caramels strategically placed around the house? Then there was that one Halloween night she and Pepe wouldn’t let Kevin eat any candy before dinner but then she acted all innocent when she got caught sneaking candy for herself. Yep, that was Nana.

Becky remembers fondly the time Nana was able to take a trip to NC and take her prom dress shopping, something especially memorable since they didn’t get to see her often.

All of us remember the amazing summer weekends spent at the camp in Belgrade. The swing, the hammock, feeding the ducks off the dock, or floating with Nana on her nylon lounge chair with Styrofoam duct taped to the arms to keep it afloat!

But even when the Alzheimer’s started to take over her own memories, Nana would always light up when her family came to visit. And her “Nanaisms” were still there when she would sass her children or roll her eyes. I always knew Nana or Ruth or Mom or Nana Ruth was still in there and she will always be in our hearts and memories.

MEGAN…..

When I think of Nana, I think of first impressions…and somehow most of them involved food.

When Aunt Betty’s boyfriend Jeff first met her, he was intimidated. He thought she was too classy. Seeing her, as Tracy already mentioned, she was this statuesque, beautiful lady, always nicely dressed with perfectly coiffed hair and beautifully manicured nails…and then she opened her mouth. He wasn’t intimidated anymore.

When I was in college, I brought a friend to meet her and Pepere. I was all excited standing at the door, waiting to surprise her. Pepere answered the door with a “Hello doll! Come on in!” and then there was Nana’s response, “Oh, it’s you.” With an eye roll, followed by a wink and a smile. She really was happy to see me, as she was always happy to see any of her family. I mean I had brought pizza after all. We all shared it, including Nicki who got her own entire slice flopped on the floor. From then on, whenever I told stories to this friend about Nana, she would always ask, “Is this your sassy grandmother that I met and loved?” All it took was meeting her once.

The first time my husband Justin met her, it was at a get together that involved food in Aunt Betty’s back yard. It was fairly early in our relationship and he was overwhelmed with so many new people he hadn’t met. Then Nana took a big bite of sandwich and a whole slice of roast beef slid out of the sub and slapped her on the chin and neck. She just drops her shoulders, sighs, makes a goofy face at us, and then slowly starts to slurp it in like a little kid with spaghetti. Justin didn’t feel so out of place anymore, and somehow stuck around with me. I mean, if that lady is what I was going to grow into when I get older, who could blame him?!

My first memories of Nana were more my dad’s stories about his “memories” of growing up with her. He’d claim she would “have” to have her martinis so would take him to the bar and threaten him with a high heel if he misbehaved. Nana would be mortified and scoff when he would tell these stories, especially in front of us grandchildren. But, for those of you who don’t know my dad, 1. If there was any truth to that story, he probably deserved the heel, he’s probably 80% of the reason Nana had white hair. His siblings can attest to that, and 2. You have to take his stories with a grain of salt.

Speaking of taking things with a grain of salt, Margaritas…we discovered Nana was a fan of them, and of sitting on her front porch visiting while snooping on the neighbors in her little Colette St. neighborhood. While all of us were enjoying small cups of frozen margaritas, Nana, while gossiping on the cordless phone about the goings on at the neighbors, decided to take the whole bucket on her lap and dipped her spoon in for “just a taste” since she wasn’t supposed to even be having any. She got so caught up in her conversation with the neighbor, she dipped her spoon back into the bucket like a kid eating ice cream before we even could all react with a resounding, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” Yep, Nana was a regular old neighborhood detective…and a double dipper.

Unfortunately, my nephew Emery will never remember meeting Nana, but I’ll never forget that day. We all walked into the nursing home where nana spent her last few years, and Nana, as always, lit up to see dad.

With a big smile she said, “Paul! What are you doing all the way up here?”

To which he replied, “Just visiting my super, special mother.”

Her response? “Oh bleck” with the most exaggerated eye roll that only nana could give.

It was during this same visit, Aunt Betty was helping her eat her meal and asked her if she wanted any of her dessert. Nana sneered at it and said “no,” there was no chocolate in it after all. But when asked a few minutes later she almost snarled, “WELL OF COURSE I WANT DESSERT!” She took a bite and chewed it disgustedly while making exaggerated faces.

Aunt Betty asked her, “well, how is it?”

Nana put on a nice face and said, “it’s good…”dramatic pause, disgusted face…”if you drown it with water!” she went to take a big swig, and dribbled it all down her face. We went immediately and bought her Hershey’s Kisses. You’ve never seen anyone’s face light up like nana’s when she saw her kids, her grandkids, her great grandkids, her great-great grandkids…or chocolate!

I will always be thankful to my nana for her humor, her sassiness, and her love of margaritas, food, and family. Thank you Nana.

TRACY…

In closing, I wanted to share some words that Nana wrote about her own mother but seemed to fit her as well.

“I feel sad that she never got a chance to know you or you her. She was quite a lady. The image she left with me was one of a woman who was a lady through and through, had great inner strength and had a deep religious belief which she didn’t talk about but was evident by the way she lived. She was a real person who lived, loved and had many good friends.”