Doane Beal & Ames

260 Main Street, West Harwich, MA


Edward G. Oetheimer

September 18, 1928April 23, 2020

Edward G. Oetheimer of West Dennis, MA, 91, passed away on April 23.

Born September 18, 1928 in New York City, Ed was the youngest of three children of Anthony Oetheimer and Caroline (Lahr) Oetheimer. Ed was raised in Jackson Heights, Queens. He was a good student and won admission to the prestigious Regis H.S. He earned a degree in Business from New York University attending classes at night while working days. He met his wife of 61 years Joan K. (Coakley) Oetheimer of Flatbush, Brooklyn, when they were working in the same bank branch.

Ed and Joan were married April 24, 1954 at Our Lady of Mercy Church in Park Ridge, New Jersey. They raised three children, Richard, Robert and Janet, in Park Ridge. Ed coached Little League baseball and youth basketball. Family vacations were spent at the Jersey Shore or Cape Cod, often in the company of Joan’s large extended family. Ed had a long and successful career as a commercial lending officer in Manhattan, first at Chase Manhattan Bank and later at National Westminster Bank.

Following retirement, Ed and Joan relocated to Cape Cod. They loved hosting their children, grandchildren and family at their home on Kelley’s Pond in West Dennis. For 20 years until 2015, Ed and Joan spent their winters in Vero Beach, Florida.

Also in retirement, Ed traced family back to Germany. He and Joan traveled with Richard and Ed’s sister Marge to Germany to meet his cousin Erich Oetheimer, also born in 1928, and Erich and Ed celebrated their 75th, 80th and 90th birthdays together.

Ed loved sports, and Joan loved to tell the story that on their first date he took her to the Friday Night Fights and she “married him anyway”. As a child he spent many afternoons with his Uncle Frank at the old Polo Grounds watching the New York baseball Giants and later he went to the old Yankee Stadium to root for the football Giants. After moving to Massachusetts, he switched his allegiance to the Red Sox and Patriots. And he greatly loved his Springer Spaniel dogs, Ginger and Janet’s dog Maggie.

Ed is recalled as a man of tremendous character. He could always be counted on to do the right thing and he instilled the values of hard work, honesty and respect. And he showed true grit in remaining independent in his home after Joan passed in 2016.

Ed is survived by his children Richard and wife Jill of Needham, MA, his son Bob of North Quincy, MA, his daughter Janet Coppinger and husband Glenn of Needham, granddaughter Kate Oetheimer and grandsons Chris Oetheimer and Kevin Coppinger, sister-in-law Anne Gesner and many nieces and nephews. In addition to his wife Joan, he was predeceased by his brother Anthony, a New York City police officer killed in the line of duty, and his sister Margaretha of Rochester, NY.

A small graveside service for immediate family will be held. Burial will follow immediately afterward at Oak Ridge Cemetery, Route 134, South Dennis. The family hopes to be able to have a memorial service or tribute at a later date.

In lieu of flowers, contributions in Edward’s honor may be made to The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF), P.O. Box 37920, Boone, IA 50037-0920.


No public services are scheduled at this time. Receive a notification when services are updated.


Edward G. Oetheimer

have a memory or condolence to add?


April 28, 2020

To Uncle Eddie and Aunt Joan ,thanks for lifetime of memories. I still picture all of us at Pop & Nana's house with Unc. Me and Mary Lou always enjoyed spending time with you.Uncle Eddie was perfect straight man for Aunt Joans wit.Thank you for our honeymoon and all family times at Cape. Thanks for forgiving Mary Lou for almost burning down Pond St. house LOL although you weren't laughing at the time.Always enjoyed old Polo Grounds stories my mom used to tell and even though I grew up on other side of the tracks (Mets & Jets) I still enjoyed Uncle Eddie's Yanks & Giants critiques.Will miss you always.

Peggy & Mike Carroccia

April 27, 2020

To our dear friend of 28 years. We will miss you dearly and all of the wonderful days and nights we shared with you and Joan. Joan always kept us all laughing!
Hope you have found each other again!
We will definitely miss spending lots of times cheering for and complaining about the Red Sox, Patriots and discussing politics. Our deepest sympathies to the whole family. We love you.❤✝️

Ginger Cohen

April 27, 2020

Ed& Joan
They both Were always a ray of sun shine, at Vero Towers , and you could be sure there was always laughter involved , they both had A very quick wit and funny personality. Such great memories , they both will be missed ❤️

Joshua Libby

April 25, 2020

Dear Bobby - my utmost condolences to you and your brother. I miss you my heart is with you. Stay strong and just keep doing what you do. Let me know if you need anything. Love, Joshua


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