Nancy Ann O'Brien Joseph

Nancy really had three chapters to her life. The first chapter began in Indiana, where she was born on 01 July 1941 to her parents, Ray and Irene O’Brien in Vincennes, Indiana. She had two older brothers, Dick and Jerry, and two younger sisters, Cecelia and Diana.

Between the Irish influence on the father’s side and the French influence on the mothers’ side they mixed to create an interesting temperament. The Irish made her a fearless girl, a fighter with a mission to go out and populate the earth, and the French made her do it with gusto.

She graduated from Scecina Roman Catholic High School in 1958 and worked at odd jobs, until

as part of her search for independence, she joined the USMC in April 1961. She proudly (and rightly so) went through boot camp in Parris Island, South Carolina and was stationed in Camp Pendleton, Ca where she received training as the first woman marine computer programmer. She had a short term in the USMC mainly due to her Irish mission to populate the earth and was honorably discharged, pregnant in September of 1962. As an interesting side note, her DD214 did state she was awarded the good conduct medal. You Got to Love the U S Marine Corps.

Following her discharge, she was married to William Selm and later widowed in 1971. Their marriage produced our two children, Anthony Selm and Rose Marie Selm.

And so started the second chapter!

I met Nancy shortly after my return from Vietnam when I was reassigned to the USS Alamo and started serving with Norman Jesse who was married to Nancy’s sister Cecelia. Everyone seems amazed by the fact that after 12 days we decided to get married and did so at St. Mary Magdalene church, in Los Angeles on 25 March 1972. I was 28 years old and Nancy, as I liked to point out, was an older woman. However, we really did like each other and our personalities were suited to each other, especially the gusto part.

Nancy and I have had an interesting life. When I left the Navy in 1974, we were living in a home we purchased in Canoga Park in the Valley and I began my second career with the defense industry. During this period, Nancy began her career as an accountant and tax consultant where we both were highly intent on pursuit of our careers.

In 1977, being adventurous sorts, we decided to uproot the kids (despite their screams) and move to Elko, Nevada to start our own businesses. We also wanted to try living in a small town where we were sure values were better and it would be a wholesome place to raise children. Nancy bought an H&R Block Franchise and I opened up a Deli, I guess because I wanted to.

It was an interesting experience. You can’t get lost, you can’t find anything you want when you want it and it was extremely cold and no place for someone from Southern California. However, we did have fun and we did learn a great deal.

After three years I returned to my Defense Company in late 1979 and started the next seven years of our life on a defense program in Saudi Arabia. Nancy joined me in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia where we lived in a US compound in extremely nice surroundings, 4 bedroom home, recreation center, swimming pools, compound restaurants, drivers all provided (Women were not permitted to drive) and inexpensive household help. Nancy settled in to this environment nicely.

The fearless part of her personality was always at odds with the way Arabs expected women to behave but I survived without an international incident. The independent part made her quickly find a job as an accountant at the American School in Jeddah where she earned good money for what she called her gold allowance.

Few realize it but, Jeddah was like living in a resort on the red sea. It has pristine untouched beaches and reefs. Nancy quickly got her PADI open water dive certificate and we enjoyed weekend camping on the beach and unbelievable diving on the reefs of the red sea. She also became very adept at the art of making wine and kept large quantities on hand for our frequent entertaining.

The other advantage was incredible travel twice a year throughout Europe and other countries. We visited Cairo, Kenya, Italy, Spain, France, Monaco, Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Denmark, Egypt, England, Ireland, Thailand, Singapore, Australia and some of the South Pacific Islands.

On our return to the US in 1987, we moved to Thousand Oaks and I returned to my parent company. Nancy returned to a CPA firm where she had worked in the past and we adjusted to normal life versus the International scene. Within a few years, Nancy opened her own business, “Business Management Services” for tax preparation and accounting. She later earned her credentials as an IRS enrolled agent which is a highly regarded skill that permitted her to represent clients with the IRS normally only permitted with lawyers and CPA.

During this period, we also had the wonderful opportunity to help raise and spoil our three Granddaughters (Linn, Kaley and Ashley). We enjoyed their company many time during summer visits and with vacations in the US. Nancy loved them very much and talked to them constantly and always offered them advise and guidance.

Linn married and she gave us three Great Grandchildren (Kaycee, Skyler and Colby - 1st boy in the family) and being very experienced in spoiling Granddaughters, we immediately set out to prove we could do it again.

The last Chapter in Nancy’s life began when she was diagnosed with beginning Alzheimer’s disease in 2003. She faced this diagnosis with courage and recognizing her failing cognitive ability, we notified all her clients that she could no longer provide service and we closed the business in 2006. I think we loved each other more and grew even closer as she moved into the next stage of progression in the disease.

In 2009 we had to start home care that slowly progressed in increasing need and attention. We tied experimental treatments in 2010 that helped her cognitive ability but could not stop the physical deterioration that occurs. In early February 2011 we were driven to a higher level of care at a 24 hours nursing home and with the disease running it course, our family Doctor ordered Hospice care on February 26th.

Nancy died peacefully on 28 February 2011 at 5:55PM. Tony, Rose Marie and I were with her and we just managed to get her the last rights about an hour before her passing. She seemed to visibly relax when they were administered by the priest.

I know she will face whatever waits with fearlessness and Gusto! It was a good journey and she was a good woman who enjoyed each step of the way.