Hi Dad,

The morning of Wednesday, May 2, 2018, was supposed to be like any other work day for me. My alarm clock was set to go off at 6:30AM. Yet, this ordinary day turned out to be anything but ordinary. I woke up from the loud pounding sound on my door, followed by Mom’s shrieking voice, and more pounding. At first, I couldn’t make out the words, but as her voice grew louder, I knew that something was wrong. I immediately rolled out of my bed, fully alert, and hastily ran towards the door.

As I opened the door, Mom was hysterically screaming, “Go check on your dad now!!!” Without any hesitation, I darted to your room. At first sight, you seemed to be sleeping peacefully on your bed. However, once I placed my hands on your head, your skin felt like a block of ice. In fact, I still remember the chill that shot through my body as I attempted to wake you up from your frozen slumber. The more I shook you, the faster my heart was beating. Then I checked your pulse. Nothing. I called the ambulance as fast as I could and within a few minutes, they arrived and started connecting things to your lifeless body, but it was too late. As tears streamed uncontrollably down my face, the harsh reality of never being able to see you again in this world started to settle in.

In that moment, I remember thinking in my head, you survived the Vietnam War, being tortured and imprisoned as a POW by the communists for years, countless stays at hospitals and nursing homes, Guillain-Barre syndrome, multiple heart attacks and surgeries. No way could this be your demise. Yet, you passed away in the best, most rewarding, and deserving way that God could provide, at home where you’re loved by us and in your sleep so there’s no more pain left for you to bear.

It goes without saying that everyone in our family plays a different part in your life. My role, much like mom’s, was your caretaker. From physically moving/lifting you to cleaning you to feeding you to spending nights by your bedside at the hospitals, our bond was definitely much stronger than your typical father and son. Honestly, I don’t think anyone will ever understand or know what that is like until they wipe their parent’s behind and help them shower.

Yet, I still remember two nights before you passed away, how weak you were and how I helped move you to your bed. You really shocked me when you said “Cam on con,” (which translates to “Thank you, my son”) because as our immediate family knows, it’s hard for you to let your guard down with us. Then the night before you passed away, again you needed my help to lift you to your bed. For some reason, it took longer even though we’ve done it hundreds of times before. Then you proceeded to say, “Bo biet, con. Bo biet,” (which translates to “I know, my son. I know”) as if you knew you were a burden to our lives. I wanted to let you know that you were never a burden. I’m sorry for all the times that I acted like I didn’t care, but I did care, because deep down, I will always love you for being my dad. The significance of your last words to me during your last two nights here in this world will forever echo in my heart.

You were always so charitable and constantly involved in helping others, especially the church. You had that personality where you can go into any room and be the center of attention. You had a way of talking to people and connecting with them, even with just your goofy, charming smile. I remember one time a priest from Europe came over and asked mom and I about land elevation and stuff, but we didn’t know. Then you came into the conversation and not only did you answer his question, but you provided the latitude and longitude too. You know really weird stuff, Dad. Then again, it doesn’t really surprise me. You are the most overly detailed person I know and your brain was like a computer filled with a ton of knowledge and wisdom. On the flipside, I will never forget how much of a prankster you are too. I remember one summer when Karen and I were kids and we wanted a swimming pool so badly. You told us that we had to hurry and get in the car so we rushed in and fastened our seat belt, but only to find out that you had already bought us the pool and put it in the trunk of the car. That was a sneaky one, Dad. I remember you giving me a beer when I was like 11 or 12 at one of our family parties. You told our relatives that it’s better that I got over my curiosity now. I was terrified and scared, but you assured me that it’s always a safe environment when it’s with family. We all still remember that one Christmas Eve when you waited until all of the presents were opened and then brought out a second round of presents for us except you cleverly just wrapped up household items, like toilet paper and cleaning supplies. You’re a funny guy, Dad.

Thank you for all of your sacrifices, such as driving Tiff, Karen, and I to school even though it was an hour to an hour-and-a-half roundtrip every day from elementary to high school. You were always so punctual and dependable. Thank you for all of the chores you made us do at a young age and the discipline you imposed on us, because it helped strengthen us to become self-motivated and independent adults. Thank you for providing for our family and making sure we always had a roof over our heads and food on the table. We battled through a lot as a family and you were always our fearless leader. We all miss and love you. Rest in peace, Dad.

Your son,
Duke Trinh

My Dad had a big heart. He was always trying to help everyone even when his health was declining. You can see his compassion and dedication by seeing all the organizations he has been apart of.

My Dad was a silly man. He would randomly serenade the family with all sorts of songs and even when we jokingly said he wasn't good, he'd sing even louder.

My Dad loved his family. He always wanted to make sure everyone was ok. He was strict and hard on us but we all knew he had the best intentions.

After hearing about my Dad's passing, we received so many calls from all over the world. It's surreal that there are so many people flying in to attend his funeral. My Dad has made a huge impact in the community even though he might not have realized it. Although we are all sad and wished he could've been here longer, we know he is in a better place.

A special message for you Dad:

Dad,
I wish I had more time with you to tell you how much I love you. I know you were hurt by many things other people did to you but know that our family always had your back. When you were hurt, we were hurt too. You taught me to be a better person by not holding a grudge and letting things go. I never understood how you could forgive someone so easily but now I understand. Life is too short to hold grudges. I am so grateful that you were able to be apart of many family milestones, especially meeting my firstborn. I will miss hearing your loud 20 consecutive sneezes, you always saying "ha?" because you couldn't hear, your endless war stories, seeing you in the backyard gardening, and most of all, I will miss seeing your beautiful, warm smile. Your legacy and memories will forever be etched in our hearts. Rest in eternal peace Dad. I love you and miss you very much. Until we meet again... 

Mr. Trinh was more than just a father-in-law to me, I am blessed to say that he was also my second dad. From the beginning, he welcomed me into his home with open arms and treated me as if I were one of his daughters. I'll miss him saying, “Have a good day, Jimmy” every morning and “Hello Jimmy!” when I would come home from work even though he could never quite get my name right.

Dad had so many wonderful attributes to him. One attribute that stood out the most to me was how he held his family to such a high standard. He was constantly challenging the family with new expectations to do things to the max. It was hard to endure at times, but now I can see it was his way of showing how much he loved his family. He didn’t want just to be average, he wanted us to be keep pushing forward pass our limitations. 

Another part of him that I'll miss is how he would tend to his garden. Day by day, I would hear him and mom go out early to the garden to rake the leaves, water the plants, trim the trees, and place the flower pots where they would get the most sunlight. He was very dedicated and it showed when the garden would be blessed with sweet, full-grown fruits, along with beautiful flowers. This was also a reflection of how he tended to his family. He would watch over his family to see who needed molding, who needed scolding, who needed a smile and who needed some character trimming to help them grow. Thank you for that constant love and care. Rest in peace, Dad.


Although you've been awfully ill on and off in the last few years, especially this past year, you still fought through and won each and every single time.  This time, though, was your last battle.  
As I look back over time, I find myself wondering …..Did I remember to thank you enough for all you've done for me?  I mean, if it wasn't for your military service, our family would not have been able to flee Vietnam and seek better opportunities available in the U.S.  To further that, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have greeted this world.  
For all the times you were by my side to help support me in celebrating my successes, understanding my problems and helping me accept my defeats… I wonder if you were ever commended for teaching me through your exemplary ways of hard work, good judgment, courage and integrity?  Your motivation and determination pushed me to be the person I am today.  I wonder if I ever thanked you for the sacrifices you made to let me have the very best?
And for the simple things like laughter, smiles and times we shared?  If I have forgotten to show my gratitude enough for all the things you did, I am thanking you now.  I was always a strong-willed child growing up and never made things easy for you, but I hope you knew all along, how much you meant to me.  
I am thankful that you have pulled through this past year so that you could meet and spend quality time with Autumn.  More importantly, I am thankful that you loved her with all your might and expressed your love for her each and every time you saw her.  You were just 5 days shy of seeing Autumn's first birthday.  I know you were there in spirit and watched over us with a smile.  We will continue to celebrate your life through yours and each of our birthdays as it comes around the corner.  You will always be with us in spirit and we will celebrate the trials and tribulations of life together.  We will love and miss you every day.  May you rest in peace. Love, JT&A

OBITUARY

Doan Ngoc Trinh

June 5, 1948 – May 2, 2018

Peek Funeral Home

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