Barbara Colleen Hywel

The Hywel/Santise Family wanted to reach out and say thank you for all of the support and love showed to us throughout this difficult time. While we will eventually be holding a celebration of her life, we wanted to let people know a little more about her as we were not able to have more visitors.

Bobbi was born in Teaneck, NJ on August 13, 1971. She was the daughter of William and Barbara Malia. From her dad, she definitely got her toughness, spirit of adventure, and her love of the outdoors. From her mom, her never-ending craziness, the joy of life, and the ability to overcome whatever obstacles were put in front of her all while continuing to live life to the fullest. Bobbi had two older sisters, Terry and Betsy who she loved spending time with. She always spoke of how much she enjoyed the times with them whether it was a concert or a trip to the beach. She loved that they let her be part of whatever her big sisters were doing. Terry’s husband Mel, Bobbi’s brother-in-law, was also someone she enjoyed immensely. She took pride in the fact that no matter how hard he would tease her she always had a better come back for him. I know he would disagree, but it was fun to watch. I know that she had wished circumstances allowed for more time with them, but I have no doubt their time together played a huge part in who Bobbi grew into. Among many great friends growing up, Bobbi always spoke of her Emerson posse; Krista, Liz, and Allison. I don’t know all of the details, but I know the times spent with them were the best of her life and she always looked forward to reassembling the posse for new adventures.

Bobbi’s first love as a young girl was definitely her love of horses. If you knew her, you knew the joy that riding brought to her. Her favorite horse among many was her horse Icy, who I have no doubt she is riding today. Along with her love of horses, came her best friend Donna. I don’t know all of the stories, but I know how much she loved the times that they spent riding and exploring together. She spoke countless times of their adventures, and I know these were some of the best days of her life. Along with Donna, there was her husband Joel who she considered the brother she never had. His guitar playing and the band he was part of were another joy of hers.

On to what I know is no doubt the greatest time of her life. From the birth of Lexi, Troy, and Paige and up until today is the time that had brought her the most joy. She was a devoted mom to them and there was nothing she wouldn’t do for them. She was the loudest and proudest mom whether it was their accomplishments in lacrosse and field hockey, Lexi’s success at the University of South Florida, Troy’s acceptance to Vassar College, or Paige’s continued success at Westwood High School. There was nothing in the world that made her happier than spending time with them or just talking about them. They are the true love of her life. Bobbi was also a stepmom to Cristina, Samantha, and Alexa. While always walking a fine line as their stepmom, she loved them as she did her own and was equally proud of their accomplishments. There is no doubt that a part of who they are today is due to the role she played in their lives. She taught all of them to live life to the fullest, as she did. The kids followed as she would run down a crowded street in New York City while jumping and clicking her heels, bite the head off baitfish while on a lobster boat in Maine, hike the Mohonk Mountains in New York after an ice storm, or jump off of 35-foot cliffs into the ocean waves in Hawaii. She taught them all to look out for each other and have each other’s back at all times. If you were at a New Jersey Devils vs. Boston Bruins game several years ago and you saw a 5-foot, 3-inch blonde fist fighting two drunks who spilled beer on Lexi and Samantha, that is who she was. She taught us all to do as she did, and I have no doubt the countless lessons she taught will be passed down to all of their children and their children’s children, ensuring many future generations of Bobbi’s.

I wanted to finish with who Bobbi was to me. As my wife and partner, there was none better. No matter what, I always knew she had my back and would do anything to defend me. She supported me every second and she never tried to talk me out of any crazy idea I had. I always did the same for her as she had just as many and possibly crazier ideas. We lived our life together at a pace that at times didn’t even make sense to us but looking back now, it all makes sense. I’m not sure if we were trying to make up for lost time or were afraid this would happen, but our pace has left me with a great number of memories that most people who spend their entire lives together would not have. We drank at Oktoberfest in Germany, saw a Bruce Springsteen concert in Italy, hiked in Switzerland, drove 48 hours around the boring island of Nova Scotia, boated and fished the Abaco Islands, climbed the Eiffel tower stairs(quickly), skied the Rocky Mountains and drove the California coast. Each trip was better than the next and we had another picked before we got home. So, we fit it all in. Bobbi had a never-ending thirst for new adventures and new things, she loved trying new food and I always knew what she would order. I just had to pick the weirdest part of an animal on the menu that most people would never eat and I knew that’s what she would get. She loved the opera and even got me not to hate it, but I think that was due to seeing her so happy to be there. She got me to eat oysters and love them as much as she did. She loves to ski and her claim to fame is possibly being the only 47-year-old woman to ski the double diamond, ice-covered Goat Trail in Stowe, Vermont. She loves to fish, had a fishing dress, and multiple poles and tackle boxes. I’m not sure how, but she almost always caught the first fish and the biggest fish. She was always dressed wonderfully like a flower-child, despite absolutely hating the mall where she was limited to approximately fifteen minutes of shopping before a panic attack ensued and she had to run out. She found something new and magical to get excited about almost every day whether it was a new book, a new animal totem, or just a new song she loved. She looked at the world like few people do. Some of our best times were spent in the woods hiking. It didn’t matter where, as long as she was in the woods, she was happiest. She ran, skipped, and twirled her way through the trails with a big smile on her face every time. She loved the trees and was a real-life “tree hugger”. Her favorite is in the New Jersey Botanical Gardens not far from our home in Ringwood, New Jersey. If you ever want to see it, I will help you find it and her. Bobbi also collected feathers she found, whether it was a pigeon, an eagle or anything in between, she picked up every single one, considered it a gift and took it home to figure out what bird it came from if she didn’t already know. Bobbi loved flowers and while I never once in our time together bought her a flower, I picked one on every trip, hike, or walk for her. Whether it was a colorful flower in June or wilted leaf in February, she looked surprised every time and smiled ear to ear. That was all it took to make her happy. One of her favorite days of the year was the first day in spring when the garden store put out the flowers. She would go fill her entire car with flowers, branches, and leaves that ended up sticking out the windows. She would come home and plant them and repeated this several more times during the day all while telling me she was like a crack addict at the flower store. At the end of the day, she would bring me to the road and ask how it looked and it was always perfect. She would then tell me that the amount of money she spent on flowers was the only thing she would ever lie to me about. It didn’t matter at all because it made her so happy and proud. As a business partner she was the best you could ask for. Whether helping cut cast iron pipe on an overnight job or screaming at another contractor who has not paid us, I never had to worry about our success while we were together. While I have very few, if any regrets about our time together, one is not renaming our business to reflect the true 50/50 partnership it was. There would be no Hywel Plumbing in its present form if not for her. Bobbi was always there to help me through some tough times. Raising three daughters, she was always there in the background putting the words in my mouth that weren’t always there. While I’m sure that Cristina, Samantha, and Alexa know that some of the words were mine, many were given to me by Bobbi. I will forever be grateful to her and proud of the job we did along with Chris and LeeAnn in raising six of the greatest children you could ask for and want to thank them for all the joy they brought to us. In ending, while the pain of her loss will be with us forever it will not define us, to do so would dishonor her and everything she gave to us and we will not let that happen. As she taught us well to take care of each other, please take some of this and incorporate it into your own life as I’m sure you’ll enjoy it much more than you ever have, and I know she will be watching and smiling. Bobbi was one of a kind, she was magical, she is irreplaceable, she was my girl and the person we will all miss for the rest of our lives.