John J. Dinneny

DINNENY, John J., 98, of Waldwick, NJ, formerly of Hillsdale, NJ, passed away on Tuesday, August 29th, 2023. John was born and raised in Moynagh Finea, County Cavan, Ireland. He came to the United States in 1948 to New York City. He was the Skipper of the Cavan Football Team and as a young man spent time in Gaelic Park playing football. John worked for the Bell Telephone Company for 30 years before retiring in 1985.

In 1951, John married Annie (Nancy) Brennan and began their life together. They raised their ten children in Hillsdale, NJ. John and Nancy raised their children in the catholic faith and were parishioners of St. John The Baptist R.C. Church for over 30 years. After moving to Waldwick, NJ in 2000, John joined St. Luke R.C. Church in Ho-Ho-Kus, NJ and never missed a Sunday mass.

John is predeceased by his loving wife Annie (nee Brennan); his son Owen; his grandson Gray Donnalley; his son in-law James Dronzek as well as his parents, brothers and sisters. He is survived by his loving children, Mary Donnalley and her husband Gray, Katherine Dronzek, Nancy Davidoff and her husband Barry, John Jr. and his wife Susan, James, Theresa Kearns and her husband Dan, Noreen Rosica and her husband Ray, Margaret and Thomas and his wife Holly; his daughter in-law Diane; his cherished grandchildren Katelyn, Megan, Erin, Sara, Claire, James, Colin, John, Mallory, William, Daniel, Kimberly, Victoria, Jillian, Nicole, Paige, Chelsea and Thomas; his in-laws Peggy Whelahan, Molly Deneny, Margaret Brennan, Bridgie McClure, Sean, Andy and Connie Brennan and their spouses as well as many nieces and nephews.

The family will receive guests at Becker Funeral Home, 219 Kinderkamack Rd., Westwood, NJ on Monday, September 4th from 2-4 and 6-8PM. A Mass celebrating John's life and faith will be held at St. Luke R.C. Church on Tuesday, September 5th at 10AM with interment at Ascension Cemetery in Airmont, NY to follow. Donations can be made in John's name to St. Luke R.C. Church, 340 Franklin Turnpike, Ho-Ho-Kus, NJ 07423 and/or John Theurer Cancer Center, 92 2nd Street, Hackensack, NJ 07601. Please share fond memories and condolences below.

Eulogy From Funeral Mass:

Thank you all for coming today to celebrate John Dinneny. He meant so much to so many - Husband, Father, Grandfather, Son, Brother, Brother In-Law, Uncle and Friend.

My father often said he was lucky all his life, and he had a lot of stories about his good fortune. One story was how a few months after he came to America, he was called up by Selective Service in the draft for the Korean War. He was rated 'unfit for deployment' in the draft because the screening doctor thought he had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. They told his family if the test comes back positive, they should send him back to Ireland because there was no cure. His favorite part was that when he told my mother, whom he was dating at the time, and she said "If you go back, I'm going with you". That's the thing, he was lucky, lucky enough to be dearly loved by more people throughout his life than most of us.

He grew up in Ireland much loved by his parents and brothers, Tommy and Terry, and sisters, Rose and Katie. They were a very religious family. His mother and sister Rose probably said a rosary for him every day of their lives, and if we can believe all his stories, he was pretty popular with all his neighbors and cousins, the guys on his Irish Football team and the girls at the dances. My father was a big flirt. He often told me that when he first came to America, he asked the Irish girls to the movies a lot because they might be 'lonesome for home' and he recently told me that when he worked as an Elevator Operator in a fancy building in Manhattan, that the young Irish maids would leave him dinners by the back door. To be honest, he was still flirting with the hospice nurses up to the end.

His cousins sponsored him to come to America when he was 23. We called them Aunt Katherine, Aunt Margaret and Aunt Nellie. These women did everything to get him started on his life in New York, bought him clothes for job interviews, helped him with an apartment and a job. They loved him so much that they would literally weep with joy years later when they came our to NJ to visit him. I remember going to Uncle Terry's bad with him and all the patrons would be shouting hello and saying "Get a shot for John!". It seemed like everyone liked my father.

Marrying a Brennan was another stroke of good luck and widened the circle of people who cared about him. Jimmy and Wanda, Eddie and Margaret, Peggy and Tom, Sean and Rosaline and Molly and Terry (2 sisters married to 2 brothers); and his many nieces and nephews. They spent many happy years raising their family together; celebrating holidays, sharing vacations and a lot of backyard barbecues in Hillsdale and Staten Island. They shared good times and supported each other through the tough times. In later years, he so appreciated all the invitations, calls and visits from the Brennan Clan.

And then his own family... My father was brave and determined. Imagine raising ten children! He bought a house in Bogota and then a bigger house in Hillsdale. Worked a lot of overtime to meet our needs; working at Terry's bar when his union went on strike; somehow he managed to get by. He set high standards and loved us all unconditionally. He supported all of us in everything we wanted to do; sometimes things he knew little about as an immigrant - joining the Peace Corps, the Air Force, the Coast Guard, going away to college, getting married young, taking jobs at big corporations... He was nervous for us at times but always supportive.

And then he was lucky to get wonderful sons and daughters in-law and 19 grandchildren to love. He welcomed our spouses and came to love them all dearly, and of course, tease them all mercilessly. He was determined to be the best Papa; especially after my Mother died. He continued to babysit and do pick-ups from school, sports and dance class for those of us who lived close by. He tried to get to every first communion, confirmation, dance recital and grandparents day. He was legendary for bringing all his beautiful nieces to lunches and dinners around town and he loved the attention from the waiters and patrons who couldn't help but notice. One waiter would say "You know he's cheating on you, I saw him here yesterday with another pretty girl." and someone else stopped him saying "I just found out my daughter is having a girl and I told her all about you so you can take her to lunch someday!" He was always keenly interested in what everyone was doing and cared so much for each and every one of you.

My father didn't often play favorites, but we all know he had a special bond with some people in the groups I just told you about. I won't name names, you know who you are, but he made everyone feel special. He always sounded so happy to hear your voice when you called him, or grabbed you arm saying your name and "How are ya?". In his later years he was a daily patron of Matthews Diner. He started calling his three favorite waitresses number 1, 2 and 3. They all knew this and had a lot of fun with it. During Covid, he started calling my sister Mary number 1, as she began sacrificing her family time and retirement plans to take care of him full-time. This stretched into a long hospice period. We teased him that the rest of us were vying for the number 2 spot with lunches and visits and he would laugh and say I'm lucky to have all you guys. But he told me more than once that I needed to work on my skills because I had a long way to go to do the job like Mary. There's one guy who has been there all along since my Mother died, my brother Jimmy. Taking dad to mass at the cemetery for years, to the diner most Saturday mornings, stopping by with dinner or pizza to watch the Yankees or the Giants. I can't tell you how many times I heard "Jimmy will do that, or fix that; that's Jimmy's job". In the end, Jimmy made great sacrifices to stay with dad and make sure he wasn't alone and felt safe in the dark of night. What Pat and Jimmy did for my father throughout his long hospice is just extraordinary, it's the epitome of pure unconditional love.

My father didn't climb the corporate ladder very far, attain celebrity or amass a great fortune, but he lived a wonderful long life guided by his values and his religion. He was brave enough to leave that small cottage in Ireland, determined to make a good life for himself. He found someone to love, made a family and worked hard to support them. It sounds like a cliche, but he really did find the most joy in the simple things in life: working in the garden, sitting on the patio in the sun, going to the diner for breakfast, doing his jumble, watching his favorite teams, jogging and most of all helping others. He would do anything for any one of us, asking nothing in return.

We went to see him when Claire was leaving for college. She said "I'm going to miss you Papa." and he said "I'm feeling lonesome too when I think of all the good times we had.". We'll all be lonesome for him now and miss him beyond measure but he's getting what he prayed for all his life. And he believed, with absolute certainty, that he'd be reunited in heaven with our mother, and so many who loved him in their lives. God bless you Dad.