Mary A. (LaCava) Pandolfe

Mary (LaCava) Pandolfe, age 106 of Middletown, formerly of Wethersfield, wife of the late Ralph L. Pandolfe, Sr., died February 14, 2026. Mary was the daughter of Carmela (Laraia) and Pasquale LaCava. She grew up in the South End of Hartford on Franklin Ave. and graduated from Bulkeley High School in just three years. She wished to continue her education in nursing school, but having nine other siblings, finances were limited.

Mom's appreciation of the finer things, etiquette, and sense of style may have started at a very early age when she worked for a prominent family as a nanny and maid at Chapman Beach, Westbrook, about a half mile from her boarding house home. Mom worked during summer vacations and loved the experience.

After graduating from Bulkeley, she worked at Southern New England Telephone Company (SNET) as a Switchboard Operator. The prerequisite for employment then was the length of the operators’ arms. We always kidded mom at family dinners when we passed the food and mentioned that mom with her long arms might be able to serve everyone just sitting down in her place.

At SNET she walked two miles to and from her home twice a day for about three years until she met our Dad. Mary and Ray Pandolfe (Vice-President) of Pandolfe's New and Used Auto Parts were married for 68 years. Dad worked long hours, but every night Mary would have his dinner ready. Her oldest daughter, Francesca, really thanked Mom for letting her in the kitchen, where some nights, she prepared his dinner.

Our Dad worshiped our Mom and called her "Precious" to the point where we thought that was her real name. Dad experienced poor health for about the last ten years of their marriage, but Mary and Ray did get in some travel every year for several weeks at the Pan American Hotel in Sunny Isles, Florida, also a trip to Hawaii, but Dad was the real traveler. For many years, Dad would attend Red Sox Spring Training camp in Clearwater, Florida, and as his oldest daughter, Francesca honors him by loving the Red Sox as much as he did.

Our Mom could never understand the various sporting events that her sons, Bobby and Ralph were involved with. Gloria played baseball when Dad coached a family team, and Mom probably just loved the peace and quiet when we were all out of the house. But best of all, Mom played the piano, and we would march around the house on Ridge Road banging on tin cans and loving the march that she played whenever children were around.

Mom was, as people would describe her today, a true ''Fashionista''. Mom would take Francesca to G. Fox & Co. Specialty Shop and show her beautiful fabrics as Mom sewed most of the dresses for her daughters. She had met the owner of G. Fox when working for the Judge at Chapman Beach, and he was very impressed with her stunning looks and grace. Mom often was called when the Specialty Shop had new designer lines arriving for Fashion Week, at least four times a year. At those times, Mom was one of the Runway Models at the Connecticut Room Restaurant. Instead of an hourly rate, Mom earned a few stunning dresses and ball gowns and sisters, Patty and Francesca sometimes sat at the top of the stairs at the Ridge Road house, to see Mom wearing and looking glamorous in her Specialty Shop designer dresses. Mom also did some modeling for a few of the designer shops around Constitution Plaza.

Mom, was really a "stay-at-home” Mom, but when Francesca was transferred back to Hartford from NYC with Norrell Temporary Services, she frantically called her, picked her up, and needed her to just greet people at the opening of a new park near Constitution Plaza. She loved that receptionist position, and was asked to return the next three days. When she learned that she would get a pay check she was so excited. She was 55 at the time.

Our Mom, Mary, was a very good listener and loved everyone, no matter their color, creed, race, gender, etc. She called her almost five-year stay at Waters Edge Rehab her home, made many "friends", and gave employees on both the second and third floors her recipe for longevity.

She was the resident patient psychologist similar to Doctor Laura and Dear Abbey. Mary advocated living one day at a time, eating clean, trying to understand others and trying to be patient.

Mom told us, as we planned her 106th birthday party, that we should just wait until she was 110 for the big one. We know that each year was a blessing and that Dad, Bobby, Anthony, Julie, Michael and Jay are waiting for her entrance to heaven.

Mom leaves her daughters, Francesca Johnston (Robert), Patricia Pandolfe and Gloria Allen; her son, Ralph Pandolfe, Jr.; grandsons, Robert Pandolfe, Jr., Nathan Lanati (Emma), Aaron Lanati (Loren); her late granddaughter’s husband, Justin Lanati; her late grandson’s wife, Joy Allen and three amazing great-grandchildren, James Brayden (JB), Jewelle Rihanne and Jianna Rose; a caring step-grandchild, Christopher Robert Johnston; a former daughter-in-law, Linda Pandolfe and former son-in-law, James J. Allen III. Besides her husband, she was predeceased by her son, Robert Pandolfe and her grandchildren; Anthony and Michael Pandolfe, Julie Allen Lanati and James J. “Jay” Allen IV.

She was the last of her siblings, Rose (Joseph) Cancelmo, Eleanor (Michael) D’Esopo, Antoinette (Anthony) Cicalese, Anna (Nicholas) Murasso and Francesca (Richard) Dammiller, Dominck (Annette), Rocco (Dolores), Jerry (Victoria) and Baby Pasquale LaCava.

The funeral is Thursday February 19, with a Mass of Christian Burial at 10 a.m.in the Church of the Incarnation, 544 Prospect St. Wethersfield. Everyone is asked to meet at church. Burial will follow in Rose Hill Memorial Park, Rocky Hill. Memorial contributions may be made to the Richard M. Keane Foundation, PO Box 290742, Wethersfield, CT 06129-0742 or the Moffitt Cancer Center, 12902 USF Magnolia Drive, Tampa, FL 33612.