Christopher A. Coley

CHRISTOPHER AUBREY COLEY

Lived Life October 2, 1998 through March 5, 2018

CELEBRATION OF LIFE SERVICE

Lakeview Funeral Home / Wichita, KS

10 A.M., Saturday, March 10, 2018

SERVICES LED BY

Dignity Celebrant Cyndi Pearce

FINAL RESTING PLACE

Lakeview Mausoleum / Corridor of Hope

Lot 8 / Section B / Space A

Fishing line, it started as vines, than to braided horse hair before synthetic materials were improved upon to create the line based on what we use today. Fishing is a great way to relate to the unknown, it’s compelling and surprising and often we return to place where we’ve caught something before and we wait.

Welcome, on behalf of the family, thank you for joining us in this Celebration of Chris’s life. A single strand is how it has to begin, just as his life did, so let’s press that thumb stop, pull back our reel, it’s time to cast, his story starts now.

An anagram is a word or phrase formed by the letters, typically using all the original letters once.

For example in his words, his anagram is:

CHRIS

C: Chris is my name

H: Happy

R: Race Motocross

I: Intelligent

S: Smart

CHRIS in an anagram. We’ll need this, later.

Charles is retired from the Airforce and was a VA Ambassador back in 1998. He’ll arrive home after work and his wife Ae Sun says, “SURPRISE, we’re going to have another baby.” “WHAT?” He replies. You see, there are Charles, Jr., LaLisa, and Ashley already. Ae Sun is 40, Charles is 45, they thought they were finished having children, but Ae Sun knows her body and a doctor’s visit will confirm it. All of her pregnancies are good, never any morning sickness.

It’s Friday, October 2, 1998, the day had started, dad drops the girls off for school and heads back home. Next thing you know, he’s back in the car picking the girls back up and they’re headed to the hospital. “How would your girls like a baby brother.” It’s a pretty automatic response with “No.” Well, there’s no stopping now, he’s on his way.

Charles, Jr. is part of the package deal when Charles, Sr. and Ae Sun meet. She will love him as her own and he the same to her. Ae Sun will birth their children through C-Section. Dad will be in the delivery for the girls, yet when it’s time for Christopher to arrive, he’s a bit older and his stomach isn’t quite as iron clad as it used to be, so he’ll wait with the girls in the waiting room.

Home is a stucco house; a two car garage with a basketball goal in the drive, a big window in front looks out at two large trees that adorn the yard. There is a giant pine tree off to the side, a big metal swing set the kids’ uncle had bought and put together for them and in the summers, a huge blow up pool for all to enjoy and later for a young Chris to toss his toy cars and trucks into to play with.

Mom will squeeze fresh juice every day and while doing house work, baby Chris is tucked up close to her in a Boba, a baby wrap or sling, it was probably this closeness, when so young, that created the incredible bond these two had. HE is HER baby. When she hugs him, he smiles. When she says, “I love you as big as the sky,” he repeats the same. CJ, Charles Jr., says he remembers that chunky little baby hanging there with mom and that head full of thick curls just popping out of the sling. He had the best thick curly hair.

Often you’ll see mom spread a large Korean blanket in the yard, kids running to and from or sitting with pine cones, peanut butter and bird seed to hang in those trees. Ashley remembers this fondly and is always excited to get back out and see that the treat was welcomed when all the food is gone.

After Chris decides he’s ready to be out of the crib in mom and dad’s room, he’ll be sure to proudly stick that Jeff Gordon race car and big circle with the number 24 right on his new bedroom door. Gordon will not only be his favorite NASCAR driver, #24 will be his favorite number and even be the one on his jerseys when he plays Derby Jr. Football and soccer at the DRC, the Derby Recreation Center, or the YMCA. He was really good, even had coaches tell his dad “this was going to take him places.”

“Chris, it’s time to get up.” 10 minutes later “Chris, it’s time to get up.” Dad repeats the drill daily.

Mom has warm sugar milk ready and Chris has some CAP’N Crunch to go along with it. Dad loads everyone up, then it’s off to school which starts at Parkhill Elementary.

After school, dad is back to pick him up, stop to grab McDonald’s, where he’ll get an orange Hi-C, chicken nuggets or a hamburger, no lettuce and only ketchup or you’ll have a kid throwing a fit. He did not like vegetables or condiments. Once home, it’s outside to play with friends, like Trevor, Sergio, Lachlan and more. They love to ride their BMX bikes and skateboard, so you’ll usually find them at the skate park until it’s time to be home and all day on the weekends. Chris liked anything that was risky and one thing that wasn’t dangerous, fishing. He even won a contest when he was just 5 or 6 for casting the furthest, this love came from his God grandpa George Sparrow who taught him all the ins and outs of how to do it right.

Trevor couldn’t be here today and sent a note to give us some insight on this time in their lives.

“I remember times when Chris Lachlan and I would hangout and we would just be outside doing dumb stuff. Our times together were filled with a lot of laughter and that’s one of the biggest things I remember Chris by. His laugh and his smile. He was always smiling and it was easy to get him to laugh. I remember the times of living next to each other at Spring Creek and hanging out almost every day. We would ride our little chopper bikes around the whole neighborhood and race other kids. As we got older, we started riding our bikes and scooters all over Derby. We could go to the skate park cause he was a lot better at doing bike tricks than me but when I tried and would fall or hurt myself, he would instantly come over to make sure I was okay. Also, Chris got this motorized scooter and he would ride that thing everywhere. There was a time when he let Lachlan ride it and me and Chris threw little foam balls at him to see if he could stay on and Lachlan ended up falling and we went to check if he was okay and he was so we started laughing and I don’t think we stopped for at least 20 minutes. He absolutely loved fishing. When we would go, I would always make him get the fish off the hook because I was too afraid to touch the fish and he would always laugh at me when I tried to touch the fish because I would freak out.”

We’re going to stop, listen to I’ll be missing you by Puff Daddy and watch a little of Chris’s movie. Now it’s not his favorite movie, that was Kangaroo Jack at this age, and he’ll rename himself because of it, so I guess we could go into this part of the movie like he’d walk in and say, “I’m Jack.” And now, a few snapshots of “Jack’s” movie.

Charles and Ae Sun (A Soon) will divorce and have shared custody and Chris’s bond will continue grow with each of them. Mom will take the kids back to Korea for a visit and remember he doesn’t like any vegetables, well except for corn, so he made sure that even though they were in a new country, known for their vegetables, they found him Pizza Hut and KFC while there, because Chris, Chris is a pizza fiend.

Derby Middle School is next on the list before Derby High School. He’s a good student when he wants to be. He’s super smart, but he’s bored. This boredom didn’t stop him from being in style with skinny jeans though, even talked dad into getting a couple of pairs. He liked art, he’s very creative and can fix anything with his hands, from bicycles he builds from scratch to cars. He’s the kind of kid others just gravitate to. He’s got this million dollar smile, it’s infectious. We’re adding more friends and heck, families, like Tre’Daunte’s, Kaydin’s, Ryan’s, Christian’s, Jesse’s, we can keep going, but you get the picture. You still find them fishing in the pond by the house, right there behind the big Dillon’s in Derby, riding bikes up and down the streets and at the skate park and when it’s getting late, you’ll see sister Ashley pulling up in that white SUV to load up the bikes and get them home.

There are trips to Oklahoma so he can ride on the state of the art skate park at 808. That bike he built from scratch, he spent his own money, it was completely chrome and the bike guy in Derby, he had a shop over by the Dollar General, took all the time he needed with Chris to teach him how to get it done and we’re not going to forget to mention how much fun he had on Sunday’s attending Aviator Church.

The family isn’t much for sweets, so birthdays are lots of grilled food and fun. Thanksgiving is big pieces of meat stuck between the top and bottom of a Hawaiian Roll, they joke with him about his “Big meat sandwiches,” again no condiments. Christmas is sometimes a live tree or maybe an artificial one with a train running around the bottom when he was going through his train phase with Thomas the Tank Engine and his favorite gift was that red Lightning McQueen TV for his bedroom.

Family time often includes some music, when he was little he’d take off his clothes when it’s bath time and start singing a little Nelly, “Hot in, so hot in herre.” When older they would all karaoke with a family favorite being “Dock of the Bay,” and seeing the premiers of the Fast and the Furious movies with sister Ashley is a must, he even pretends to be the “Drift King” while driving a Challenger similar to the one in the movie.

His first job is at Northrock Lanes where he is a lane attendant and there is usually a meat lover’s pizza with extra cheese pizza from AJ’s Sports Bar in hand when he gets home. His first car is a lowered baby blue S10 that had hydraulics that bounced him all the way down the road and no car stayed around very long, once he tricked it out, he’d sell it just a couple of weeks later. He’d bought and sold over 30 cars.

He had expensive hobbies, the cars, flying remote controlled airplanes, they say he was one of the best, but how did he support these expensive hobbies? He would buy something on Facebook Marketplace cheap, fix it and then sell it for profit. He was so good, he didn’t need a job. They called him the “Facebook Hustler” or “The King,” not even negotiating on the price when family hits him up for goods.

You often see him with a red Gatorade in his hand but hopefully it was capped when he’s out riding with the street racers in town. He could burnout with the best and any race he was in, he often won.

Let’s go back to school for minute. He didn’t graduate from Derby, like mentioned, he got bored. Recently he enrolled in Next Step a class to get his GED. The teacher will come in and kind of smack her lips, telling him, “He needs to be here,” and that’s exactly what he needed, someone to motive him. Telling him he “needed” it, this lit his fire and he was going to show her how much he “didn’t” need it. He’d test out of all 4 classes on the first try. The next couple of months were just play as he would graduate top of the class in April of 2017.

February 19, 2018. It’s the early morning hours and Chris gets a message. “Can you meet me at the Dillon’s parking lot? I’m going to meet someone and I don’t want to do it alone.” She was selling some marijuana. He hops in his dads’ car and goes. Gets in the car with her and waits. Another car pulls, driven by a women. A guy gets out and into the back seat of the car Chris is in. The other women reports she, “Saw the two men shake hands and heard a gun shot.” He returns to the other car and they leave. “Did you shoot him?” She asks. “No, it was just a warning shot to scare them.”

It’s a classified case, no names used to log him into the hospital. Police arrive at Chris’ father’s home and bring him. Charles calls the family. Mom is in Korea visiting. It’s the middle of the Olympics, they tell her it could be a week before they can get her back, yet her husband makes it happen sooner. Its 5 hours of waiting before they know anything or can see him. Chris is in an induced coma. The woman that was in the other car hears on the news that Chris was shot and in the hospital in critical condition. She calls police and turns the shooter in. That guy went with the intention of robbing AND he did, not only just wallets and money, exactly two weeks later, almost to the minute of the shot, on Monday March 5th, at 2:33 a.m., with his family by his side, Christopher Aubrey Coley was robbed of his life.

He did more in his 19 years than most do in a lifetime. His family mourns. His mother still expecting him to walk through that door and to say again, “I love you as big as the sky.” They are so proud of everything he has done and they know, they WILL see him again. Feel free to sing along to our last song, See You Again from one of his favorite movies as we watch his.

From Christian DeFalco:

I wanted to talk about the one thing that always amazed me about Chris was how he was able to fix things. He was working on things since I met him and that’s when he was like 9 or 10. He was the youngest in our group of friends but was always one of leaders and made us feel like we were the little kids sometimes. Also, his smile and laugh would make anybody’s day. You could be having a bad day but if he started laughing or smiling, it completely changed the atmosphere.

Kaydin says: Summer 2011-12 always ride the skate park early in the morning. Had fun hanging out morning to night. I remember waiting on when his dad went to sleep, sneaking out late at night. One time we were riding down Rock Road and a cop passed us. We rode off, tried to out run, but he caught up, told us to not be out again. My first memory is of being with Chris and his dad at 81 speedway, we had a good time. He and his dad made life better.

He had plans. He wasn’t done. These are his words:

“My ideal career is to be a professional motocross rider and to have my own dirt bike shop. I want to be a professional motocross rider so I can become rich and famous. I want to have a shop so I can help other people get their dirt bikes fixed. I want to ride in the Monster Energy AMA race because that would be on American experience. I want to buy a nice big house and a nice car. I want to have my own pit crew. I want big trophies.”

“In the year 2035-is when I probably want to retire. I will be too old to race motocross then. I will still probably ride though, I will just ride for fun. I will own my own house and have my own family by then, and then I can do what I want because I will have all my money saved that will last a life time and I will probably move to Florida.”

Let’s get back to where he started, as a single strand of line. Add to that family and friends and he wasn’t so singular anymore. He weaved all of these single lines together into one strong net. It’s hard to say why we gather the rod and bait, each has their own reason. That ambition he cast each time, has not only built the strong net that surrounds each of us today, it leaves a legacy only we can choose how to carry on. Do we wait in the stillness of the water or do we use the ambition like a bobber, fighting to keep our head above water, to take our strand, rebuild, and make that net, his legacy, even stronger? As we leave today you will find this, a bobber attached to the anagram he made.

CHRIS

C: Chris is my name

H: Happy

R: Race Motocross

I: Intelligent

S: Smart

It’s our turn now to cast out the line. Use the bobber to always remind you he’d want you to keep your head above water and maybe you take this anagram, turn it over, write his name and think of how you would write his anagram as this is only one way you can keep his legacy alive.

COMMITTAL

Let us Pray:

God of grace and glory, we commit the soul of Christopher into your loving arms and perfect peace forever.

We thank you for the gifts and love he gave as he was with us, now give us strenghth and courage to leave him in your care, confident in your promise of eternal life. Amen

Today we gather in a place where lives are commemorated, deaths are recorded, families are united, and love is undisguised. It is a history of people, a record of yesterday, and a sancutray of peace today. From this day on, this place will be sacred to you, this space dedicated to every memory associated with him.

It is a profound journey we all make in life and it is an important day whenever we stop to bear witness to a person’s life and time spent among us; to honor the difference his living and dying made to family and friends; it is also important to take the time to express our grief, our hope, wonder, and memories. The simple ceremony of farewell joins us together as death is part of the uniqueness of life. Even though Chris is no longer physically with us, his lessons, love, and memories will continue to be a part of each of us.

May those who grieve be granted comfort and may the love in all hearts join each of you together in ways that can not be measured, yet be richer in ways like never before.

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy Name,

thy kingdom come,

thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those

who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

and the power, and the glory,

for ever and ever.

Amen.

PARENTS: Charles Michael Coley, Sr. 10/27/1953; Ae Sun Bowles 6/18/1959

CHILDREN: Charles Michael Coley, Jr. 2/2/1973; LaLisa Au Sun Coley 2/3/1988; Ashley Michelle Coley 8/23/1993; Christopher Aubrey Coley 10/2/1998-3/5/2018

Cyndi Pearce/Dignity Memorial Celebrant

* * * * * * * * * *

Coley, Christopher A., 19, of Wichita, Kansas passed away Monday March 5, 2018 in Wichita. Chris was born the son of Charles Coley and Ae Sun Bowles on October 2, 1998 in Wichita. Chris loved cars, motocross and spending time with friends and family. Survivors include his loving parents, Charles Coley, Sr. and Ae Sun (Don) Bowles, sisters, LaLisa Coley and her daughter Payton, Ashley Coley, Brother, Charles (Paris) Coley, Jr. and their children Keenan and Deja, step-sister, Samantha Bowles and many extended family. He was preceded in death by his grandparents. Visitation will be from 6 to 8pm on Friday March 9, 2018. Celebration of life services will be 10:00 am on Saturday March 10, 2018 both at Lakeview Funeral Home, 12100 E. 13th St. N., Wichita, Kansas. Dignity Memorial Celebrant Cyndi Pearce will officiate. In lieu of flowers memorials can be made to Christopher Coley Memorial Fund c/o https://www.gofundme.com/christopher-coley-memorial-fund.