Sondra Dee Reber

Sondra Reber was tall and beautiful with signature red hair, which got her attention wherever she went. Striking and confident, she developed her own glamorous style and sophisticated taste. She loved to entertain and built a reputation as a brilliant cook and elegant hostess. She devoted herself absolutely to her husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren and bragged on all of them constantly.

Born Sondra Dee Brewster in Wichita in 1935, she was the only child of Dr. C. Elbert Brewster, Wichita’s first oral surgeon, and Emma Dee Brewster, both of whom had recently relocated to Wichita from Arkansas City. While attending Willard Elementary School, Sondra’s classmates used to ask her how it was possible that she had such perfect handwriting. She didn’t really understand the question, replying that she was simply copying the examples above the blackboard at the front of the room. After attending Roosevelt Intermediate School, she went to Wichita High School East, where at one point her mother took her out of school for a month so that she could attend modeling school in New York. “You can always get an education,” her mother told her, “but you can’t always be a model.” She graduated from East High in 1953. That modeling training paid off, because while attending Colorado Woman’s College the following year, she was selected to be one of the first TV fashion models in Denver. Later, in Wichita, she modeled the latest fashions at Innes Tea Room, Lewin’s, and Henry’s.

During the school break in 1954, Sondra walked into the downtown office of oil man Ralfe D. Reber to apply for a summer job as a receptionist, and it was love at first sight. When Sondra went off to college in Florida the following semester, Ralfe started sending her 1-1/2 dozen red roses every week. In January, he drove to Winter Park and picked her up, and they eloped to Georgia, spending their honeymoon at The Cloister on Sea Island. It was the beginning of a six-decade-long marriage. Sondra embraced her role as a loving and devoted housewife and mother, and she could be seen driving her four children all over town to their respective language, dance, art and swim lessons in her black Buick convertible with red upholstery. Having already gained some dance experience herself in New York and at Interlochen, she pursued her own interest in ballet, taking more classes and performing in productions at the Wichita Forum.

Ralfe and Sondra were true soulmates. They established a tradition of going out to dinner once every week without the children, a practice that Sondra insisted was key to a happy marriage. They enjoyed dancing and singing at many of the piano bars and private clubs in Wichita in the 1960s. The Lancers, Lancers East, Steak & Ale, Ken’s Club, and the Candle Club were a few of their favorites. Part of the tradition was to allow each child to come along on their birthday, which was always a lot of fun. For 30 years, they vacationed regularly (both with and without their children) at their beach home in Galveston, Texas.

Sondra threw elegant parties, often in the beautiful house that she helped Ralfe to design. Some of the more memorable occasions were the 50th Reunion of East High’s Class of 1953, the 50th St. James Church Old English Tea, a KIOGA reception, and numerous Andover school parties. More recently, Sondra hosted bridal luncheons for her three granddaughters in Wichita. Sondra was absolutely in her element at Christmas, putting on an amazing spectacle of food, decorations, and masterful gift-wrapping that every year was worthy of a magazine feature. Claiming that she only knew how to bake when she got married, she taught herself to be an outstanding cook, producing such specialties as Chicken Kiev, broccoli soufflé with Welsh rarebit sauce, pecan tarts, and English trifle (better than the English do it). She loved teaching her grandchildren to bake, too, and spoiled them by baking their favorite cakes on their birthdays and stocking up on rainbow sherbet and ginger ale for their visits. She encouraged them to develop their skills and confidence by enrolling them in art classes and dance classes. (Later, she did the same for her great-grandchildren.)

After the children had all left for college, Sondra found more time to develop her needlepoint skills and to read. She also had one last turn at modeling when she modeled one of Halston’s original creations and met the designer at a charity event in the 1970s. Some of her needlepoint work was featured in the Wichita-Sedgwick County Historical Museum, and she taught herself a lot about history and archeology. She went on Smithsonian Institute excursions to Washington and Rome and was particularly interested whenever any of the relatives in England sent her news about the discovery of Roman artefacts in Britain. She was proud of her pioneer roots and served for six years on the board of the Wichita-Sedgwick County Historical Museum. She was excited when an aunt traced her mother’s side of the family back to a Patriot who fought at the Battle of Lexington and Concord, and even more thrilled when she was contacted by a cousin on her father’s side who could trace the family back to the Mayflower. Although Ralfe spent Sundays on the golf course, Sondra was a faithful churchgoer. A traditional Episcopalian, she liked to paraphrase Elizabeth I: “There is one Lord, Jesus Christ, and one Church; all the rest is politics.”

After Ralfe died in 2015, Sondra continued to turn out many exquisite needlepoint pillows, while maintaining her long-established routine of playing gin rummy at Crestview Country Club every Friday, going to early church every Sunday, and going out to dinner with her family every Wednesday. This year, as usual, she put on another fabulous Christmas production for her family who had come from near and far, providing more joys to last a lifetime. She delighted especially in reading aloud to her little great-granddaughters, just as she had always delighted in spoiling completely her other grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Having grown up an only child, she relished having such a large family in the end.

Sondra died suddenly of natural causes on December 29, 2023, aged 88.

She is survived by her children R. D. Reber Jr. of London, England; Marta (Mrs. Larry) Warren of Wichita; Jennifer (Mrs. Alan) Poole of Surrey, England; grandchildren Erin (Mrs. Benjamin) Clarke of Milwaukee, Wisconsin; Elizabeth (Mrs. James) Devaney of Broomfield, Colorado; Elaine (Mrs. Joseph) Soptic of Fairway, Kansas; Emma Poole of Miami, Florida; James Poole of Surrey, England; great-granddaughters Genevieve Devaney, Caroline Devaney, Eleanor Devaney, Sophia Devaney, and Isabel Soptic. Sondra’s husband of 61 years, Ralfe, died in 2015, and their daughter Roxanne Reber died in 2013.

A memorial service will be held on Monday, January 8th, at 1 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, 7404 E. Killarney Place, Wichita, 67206. Messages of condolence can be sent to the family c/o Lakeview Mortuary: https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/11607100. Memorials may be made to St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church or to the Wichita-Sedgwick County Historical Museum, 204 S. Main, Wichita, 67202.