Gloria J. Fagyas

Gloria was the beloved wife of the late Joseph N. Fagyas and the late Roman W. Fedkiw; loving mother of Cheryl A. (Patrick) Van de Casteele and Kimberly F. Fedkiw; dear sister of Karen (Robert) Coles and the late Judith (Douglas) Watts; cherished daughter of the late Clarence and late Barbara Linick; grandmother to many fur grandbabies; much-loved aunt and godmother to many nieces and nephews and caring and treasured friend to many. She will be deeply missed by all.

The family would like to share the transcript of the Celebration Service for Gloria for those who could not attend.

"We are here today because of a beginning, not an end.

We are here today because Gloria was born, to celebrate the gift of her life, and reflect on her absence. We join in sympathy and support for one another and to draw strength as we gather today to say farewell to a very special woman.

It is an important day when we stop to acknowledge the significance of an individual’s life and the ways they touch their world. It means Gloria made a difference in your life and so we stop and honor her journey on this earth.

Gloria was many things to people she loved – she played many roles and was someone we knew, loved, cared about and had our lives warmed by. And now, today – together, we gather to say good-bye. Our eyes may fill with tears, but our hearts are also filled with joy. We think of the happy times when she was with us and how often she has been in each of our thoughts since she passed away.

Our hearts break when someone we love is no longer with us, but we carry on, for there is nothing more for us to do. We do not forget someone when we move forward, instead we take them with us in all that we do and all that we are. Thomas Campbell wrote, “To live on in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” Certainly, by this measure, Gloria lives on in our hearts today and always.

So, we celebrate her life. It is a way of paying respect to Gloria, who was, perhaps, not perfect, but like the rest of us, was full of hope, possibility and a deep love for her family.

And Gloria’s story should be told, today and in the future, for it is how we remember and how we are able to continue. Humor always arises, as it is the flip side of grief. We laugh and we cry. We acknowledge that we are a part of the stream of life, and we assert our common humanity with one another and carry on.

We carry on.

It is appropriate that we pray for the soul of this special lady so at this time I would ask if you would bow your heads in prayer.

Dear Lord,

Father of all mercies and God of all consolation,

you pursue us with untiring love

and dispel the shadow of death

with the bright dawn of life.

Give courage to this family in their loss,

and lift them from the depths of grief

into peace and light.

Your power brings us to our birth,

Your providence guides our lives,

and by Your command we return to dust.

Lord, those who die still live in your presence,

their lives change but do not end.

We pray in hope for Gloria

and for all the dead known to You alone.

May she rejoice in Your kingdom,

where tears are wiped away.

Unite us one day together again in one family,

to sing Your praise forever and ever.

Amen.

Friend of the family, Kylie Keshav, shared the Peace Prayer:

Lead me from death to life, from falsehood to truth.

Lead me from despair to hope, from fear to trust.

Lead me from hate to love, from war to peace.

Let peace fill our hearts, our world, our universe.

~Anon.

I would like to read something to you. When I met with Cheryl and Kimberly I was struck by the deep connection they both had with their Mom and all the wonderful things they could share about her, her life and the life they had together. I offered to do this service and be their voice. While I am honored to do this I told them that I would only be a reflection - a voice for them of their Mom’s story. Cheryl sent me something special in an effort to assist me with this task.

While I normally do not take this route, I know that I could not find more loving words, a well-thought-out expressiveness or a better way to share the life of Gloria Jean Fagyas than to read what was so lovingly penned directly.

Cheryls thoughts:

To Family and Friends at the service…..

Kim and I would like to thank each of you so very much for being here with us today as we say goodbye to our mom. Your love, comfort and support have always meant the world to us….and still does, most especially today.

Thinking of Mom…….

How Mom loved a good story! It is our deepest privilege to reflect on and share a bit of HER story.

Books. Theater. Movies. The Hallmark Channel …..she loved them all. And while she was never one to seek the spotlight or wish to be the leading heroine…… perhaps feeling more comfortable in a supporting life role instead……. I think she really was a true heroine and leading lady. I’m not sure how she would feel about being in the spotlight now, but well, no one else can perform this role, this time.

Mom lived most of her life on Gorton Street in Black Rock. Her mom and dad moved there with her when she was a very young child. After some time, beloved sisters Judy and Karen were born and joined the family there.

Once a teenager, Mom went to Riverside High School and as a freshman there, she and her group of friends formed their own sorority and a bond of friendship that was to last a lifetime.

When she graduated, she became a dental assistant and worked for a dentist in the neighborhood. She had long held the eye of Roman, the green-eyed boy, quite literally, next door on Gorton Street. He and Mom married after he returned and settled in after serving in the Navy in the Pacific during WWII. They purchased a home on the corner of Gorton and Austin Streets, right across from both their parents’ homes. They welcomed the arrival of two daughters, my sister Kim and me.

Then suddenly one day, a heart attack took Roman and Mom was left to raise us…… alone, and yet ……not completely alone. The love and support of her family and Roman’s family just across the street surrounded and lifted our little family trio.

It wasn’t easy, but family, friends and neighbors on that little street provided a warm, watchful and helpful community for us. From my personal perspective, though, this was not always a blessing because there was nowhere to hide. You had to behave or SOMEone was going to tell Gloria.

Time passed and then one day, a blue-eyed boy, this time from next door on Austin Street, entered the picture. His name was Joe. Gloria found love again and she and Joe married. Mom, Kim and I were welcomed into yet another loving, closely knit, extended family. Happy years followed with family trips to Florida and the mountains, huge, boisterous family gatherings and lots of love.

And then tragedy struck again. Joe was diagnosed with leukemia and before long, Gloria was widowed once more.

It must have been so very hard for her, but as children, we didn’t know it. She shielded us from it all. We really didn’t have much, but somehow, she made us feel rich. And our huge, loving extended family helped her look out for us.

And then it came again…..yet another tragedy. Gloria was diagnosed with cancer. But how she fought. Hard. And she beat it….not once, but twice. Stoic, never complaining, more than a little bit stubborn with a will of iron hidden under a quiet and gentle façade, she must have been terrified. But she never showed it. We didn’t see all the tears that must have fallen….or all the pain and fear she must have felt during all the trials and challenges of her life.

Though tragedy was an all too frequent companion, her life was not filled with hardship only. There was also joy that she found in her family, in her friends, in nature and in her hobbies.

Mom loved music and theater and we three enjoyed many trips to see plays and musicals at Shea’s and in Toronto and Niagara-on-the-Lake. She enjoyed many different shows, but her favorite was Les Miserables. She loved the words and music of this play especially.

She loved doing crossword puzzles and reading. Books with dashing romantic tales, biographies of people she admired, stories of the home arts and books on historical events she witnessed during her lifetime were all to be found on her bookshelves.

She was very creative and loved to craft. As a gifted knitter, seamstress and embroiderer, she made many beautiful items for herself, her home and as gifts for others.

She loved nature. She enjoyed watching programs about nature and animals. For a while, we had a small cabin in the hills of Allegheny near Hinsdale, NY. She loved to take walks there or to sit on the front porch looking out over the valley, often with her knitting on her lap and a book at her side.

She was a mom and grandmom to many furry, feathery creatures. While perhaps not always enthusiastic at the onset of a new animal acquaintance, every one always held a special place in her heart before long. Dogs, hamsters, frogs, turtles, tropical fish, canaries, parakeets and finches all found a home with Gloria at one time or another.

She loved her garden and flowers. She was especially proud of her roses. And oh what a sweet tooth she had for anything chocolate. A gift of sponge candy was always most welcome.

She loved to travel…..seeing and learning about all the places she visited. Trips to Alaska, Hawaii, Ireland and Europe were highlights for her. And when family members travelled, a full accounting of every detail upon return was a must. She wanted to know about all the sights, sounds and flavors.

She celebrated her Irish and German heritage, making a huge feast of corned beef and cabbage for family and friends on St. Patrick’s Day and enjoying Wienerschnitzel and spaetzle whenever she possibly could.

As a girl, she had always dreamed of being a nurse. Her life journey did not take her in that direction, but she inspired her daughter Kimberly who did follow this path of service and healing in the medical profession.

Mom was a huge Bills, Sabres and Notre Dame fan. She loved to watch the Army Navy Game every year as well. This, however, posed a problem. Roman had been in the Navy. Joe had served in the Army. Who to root for??? Her solution…..hope for a close, exciting game and a tie score!

She also loved to watch figure skating. Don’t dare call her when the Olympics were on. Though she didn’t skate herself, she enjoyed the grace and artistry of the sport.

Mom kept up on the news and current events. Daily check-ins with her always included the sports scores, the weather report and important local and world events. She knew all the scuttlebutt, too. Want to know what’s what or what might be what???? Ask Mom. Or don’t ask. She’d tell you even if you didn’t really want to know.

When staying in her home in Black Rock became too difficult, Mom moved to the Fayebrooke Senior Apartments. There, as one of the first to move into the building when it opened, she was a founding member of The Originals, a very special group of wise, funny, sassy ladies who became a very close, loving and supportive group of friends. They have shared birthday celebrations, Thursday night dinners, bingo games, domino games, memories, laughs, sorrows and all manner of things known only unto them.

And now…… we are here….reflecting on her life, HER story. Her life was one lived with dignity, with faith and with hope. Her story was one of challenge and triumph. It was a story of love.

She was a loving and beloved wife…….mother…..sister…..aunt…. godmother……friend. She was a role model for her daughters, teaching us how to be strong and independent women…..to reach for the stars and no matter the adversity, to keep calm and carry on. Smile while you’re doing just that and never let them see you sweat. Glow, maybe….sweat, no.

We are so very grateful to all the people who played a part in Mom’s story….in all the chapters and acts of her life. By extension, you have also played an important role in our lives.

This is hard….so very hard……this, saying goodbye to her. She will be so very missed……because she has been so very loved. She has earned and deserves her rest and her peace and freedom from all the physical pain she has known. She has fought hard and long, our gentle little warrior. Be at peace with your Heavenly Director, Mama. We love you so much….more.

For me, I know that whatever good I may have done or ever will do, it is because I am the daughter of Gloria Jean Linick Fedkiw Fagyas.

I am so blubbering all over the place typing this. She would have said….”where’s your Kleenex? You always need to have a Kleenex up your sleeve and a peppermint in your pocket”.

So many wonderful memories of a lovely lady – I know everyone here today will miss her tremendously.

It is ironic, but one consequence of death is that it can make you appreciate life more than you ever would have if you had not experienced such a loss. This awareness can help us keep in mind what is important in life - our family and friends, living a full life and being passionate about the things we do so we don’t get lost in trivial petty matters and lose sight of those things that are most important and give us true joy. So, take that message, that awareness to heart. Everyone here will miss Gloria with all of your hearts and will always cherish the times spent together. She was always there when needed and was a most loving and caring person. She never really wanted people to go out of their way for her. Yet, she did it all of the time for others.

She has touched the lives of so many people and even though she is gone, her memory will live on in all of our hearts forever. Her spirit has not left us and there will be times when we will feel it around us. Everyone who was ever touched by her in this lifetime should have faith that she will be watching over them because that is just the kind of person she was.

On a personal note I would like to share a thought - in the coming weeks – stay in touch with one another. The journey of grief is long and those who walk it should not have to walk it alone. We come together at times like this to offer condolence, mourn our loss and recognize our own transient lives. Then we return to the routine of living and time passes until - the next time. If you look around you at the faces in this room you see - family – some by blood, some by relationship and some by acquaintance. So, reach out, stay in touch, get together for no special reason – just to say hello – or I care – so that the people in our lives are celebrated and enjoyed while they are here.

In times like these, nothing takes the place of family. Your presence helps each other realize how valuable Gloria was to all of you and shows what an impact her life - and her loss - has made. Stay loving, stay close, appreciate life, stay strong, and stay in touch with one another - and enjoy life – I think Gloria would have liked that.

And as we go I am going to share a song with you. It is called You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban."

Please join Gloria’s family on Tuesday January 16 from 10AM - 12PM at the PERNA DENGLER ROBERTS FUNERAL HOME 1671 Maple Road, Williamsville NY where a Celebration of her Life Service will be held at 12PM. Interment will then follow at Mount Olivet Cemetery, Tonawanda NY. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Gloria’s memory to Wounded Warrior Project.