Carolyn "Lil" Olivia Conley

Carolyn Olivia was born December 3, 1950, in Lexington, NC as the youngest of four children born to Charles and Faye Clodfelter. It did not take long for Carolyn to become "Lil", the nickname given to her by her older brother. Lil graduated from Lexington High School and, inspired by her mother who was also a nurse, attended nursing school at East Carolina University. She later transferred to the University of North Carolina at Greensboro where she graduated with her bachelor’s degree in nursing. 

Nursing was a true passion of Lil’s as it enabled her to act out her servant heart daily. This career led her to many places, but none more important than Duke University Hospital. At Duke, Lil worked in the Neurosurgical ICU while Martin Conley, a tall, handsome resident doctor, graced the halls of the cardiac floors. While these two never crossed paths in the hospital, they were fortunate enough to live in the same apartment complex. One evening, Martin knocked on her door looking for more volleyball players for a beach volleyball game in the courtyard. This was the beginning of the greatest love story ever written. Their love traversed resident work hours and long distances and was sealed with a kiss when they were wed on December 18, 1976, at First Methodist Church in Lexington, NC. 

Once Lil became a mother, she retired from nursing to focus on her growing family’s needs and found other ways to fill her servant heart. She was a dedicated member of Saint Andrews-Covenant Presbyterian Church for over 40 years where she served terms as both an elder and a deacon. Lil’s faith spilled into the community at large where she responded to God’s call to feed the hungry, visit the prisoner, and comfort the sick. For decades, she fed the hungry and unsheltered at Vigilant Hope Ministries and The Good Shepherd Center. She visited the prisoners through the Community Resource Council at New Hanover County Correctional Center. She even re-certified in nursing so that she could provide psychiatric care to many in the Wilmington community. However, it was not these activities that defined Lil; it was her love for all of God’s creation and faith in her Creator that were the hallmarks of her life.

Lil’s greatest love in life was her family. Outside of her family, Lil loved exploring God’s natural world as an avid birder, gardener, and traveler. She loved the water and was swimming in the ocean the week before her hospitalization.

Lil and her family are forever grateful for the care she received at Duke University Hospital and the outpouring of love from her family and friends during this time. 

Lil is survived by her husband, Martin James Conley, Jr; her son Martin James Conley, III (wife Laura) and his children Josiah, Oliver and Corinne Conley; her daughter Sarah Conley Ruffner (husband Matthew) and their children Olivia and Elliott Ruffner; son Charles Craig Conley (wife Kenzie) and her granddog Breezie; her brother Reynolds Craig Clodfelter (wife Cathie) and her sister Janis Claire Berg (husband Eric). She was preceded in death by her parents Charles Meade and Ernestine Faye Clodfelter and her sister Theresa Sharon Pollard. 

A memorial service to celebrate Lil’s life will be held on October 28th, 2025, at 2:00 pm at First Presbyterian Church in Wilmington, NC. The family will receive visitors at a reception following the memorial. All planning to attend are invited to bring a packet of vegetable or flower seeds to support the garden at the New Hanover County Correctional Center. 

Contributions honoring Lil’s life can be made to Vigilant Hope, PO Box 816, Wilmington, NC, 28402. 

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