Jane Martin Arthur

Mary Jane Martin was born in Des Moines, Iowa, to Col. Robert R. Martin and Mary Belle McCallum Martin.  She was an ‘Army brat’ and grew up with her parents and her younger brother Bob (Robert N. Martin 1929 – 1982) in places including Puerto Rico, Panama, the Philippines, and various bases in the continental US.  She had terrible eyesight from an early age, so bad that her parents were advised that she did not need to go to school because she would not be able to succeed.  Her mother, herself college educated, rejected this advice and insisted that Jane be fitted for corrective lenses and go to school.  Because of some age-compressed classes during her childhood in various locations, she was able to skip some grades and graduate early – she was smart.  As a child she loved animals, particularly dogs and horses, and when she went to college she studied equestrian arts at Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri, and then graduated with a degree in Business from Creighton College in Omaha, Nebraska, still living with her parents. 

In Omaha she met Timothy Ian Parker (1917 – 1963) who lived next door, at the time a copy boy for the Associated Press.  Her parents did not approve of their relationship because he was 10 years older and previously married.  They eloped on January 2, 1948, by crossing the state line to Avoca, Iowa, where she could marry without parental permission (she would not be 21 until August).  When they returned married to Omaha, Jane’s mother famously said, “Well, you’re going to need to know how to cook something, so come on in and I’ll teach you how to make French toast.”  Thus began her life as Jane Martin Parker. 

Tim and Jane moved to Dallas Texas in 1948, a transfer from his job with the Associated Press.  The children came soon thereafter, first Mary Susan Parker in 1949, then Patricia Gail Parker in 1950.  Trying one more time for a son, they welcomed twins Rebecca Jane Parker and Kathryn Jean Parker in 1954.  Jane was an adoring mother for the four girls as the family moved to Jackson, Mississippi, in 1954, back to Dallas in 1958, and to Charlotte NC in 1960.  During this time she raised the girls, making their clothing, cooking their meals, and organizing all of the family activities inside and outside the home.  Her abiding love for animals permeated the family, with a sequence of beloved dogs (Pam, Poco, Max, Honeycomb, Victor are some who shared her life), cats (Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Jackson Mississippi Parker, Freddie, Maggie Mae, just to name a few), and birds (James Fenimore Cooper). 

When Tim Parker died in November 1963, Jane went to work at US Steel. She adjusted her life as the situation required, and the girls helped out with cooking and cleaning.  The family unit remained strong.  She met Dale Arthur (1931 – 1995) and they married in 1968.  This period of her life emphasized fun.  With the older daughters off at college and the twins in their teens, Jane continued to work at US Steel while having fun with Dale, including learning to sail their Flying Scot sailboat. She also learned how to organize things outside of the home, efforts that came with occasional failures that she loved to laugh about later (such as the time she volunteered to organize a luncheon for a sailing regatta event, decided to do it herself to save money, vastly underestimated, ran out of everything, and produced a spectacular failure). But even when she knew beforehand that she had messed it up, she showed up with her flimsy little handmade sandwiches and a smile on her face.    

Although her marriage to Dale did not last, her love of fun never diminished.  After conquering her own dependence on alcohol, she left US Steel to work as a counselor for a clinic that treated people with substance dependence problems, letting her joyful spirit help others find their paths to freedom and happy lives. She became a professional clown and loved dressing up and dressing down with her children and grandchildren.  In her senior years she continued to organize events for the greater good, such as getting her first senior living center to adopt recycling practices and encouraging everyone to participate.  She was generous beyond measure with her family and would do anything to help them when she was needed.  She offered sanctuary to loved ones whose families were fracturing, or whose homes had suffered some natural disaster, providing multi-month multi-generation full-partnership arrangements either in her own home or in a new home.  You could absolutely count on her, and just knowing this support was there if you needed it got her children through lots of hard times.  And there were the times when we definitely did need it. 

By far the greatest loves of her life were her children, her grandchildren, and her great-grandchildren.  Her first daughter Susie’s children (with Drew Campbell) Robin (with Thomas Bates) and Jonathan (with Julie) produced great-grandchildren Ollin and Jackson (Bates) and Grace and Richard (Campbell).  Second daughter Patty (with Kerry Rabenold) gave her granddaughters Jessica (with Jamie Ninneman) and Andrea who in turn gave her great-grandchildren Mary, Jonas and Miles (Ninneman).  Twins Becky (with Sonny Brown) and Kathy (with Mike Long) gave her grandchildren Casey and Elliott (Brown) and Beau, Parker, and Roman (Long) who in turn have given her great-grandchildren Mikel, Hailey, Roman, Marlee, and Jackson (Long).  She delighted in hearing, seeing, and talking about her four daughters, nine grandchildren, and 12 great-grandchildren.  She was proud to proclaim herself “the matriarch” and she was indeed that.  Her one stern command once her grandchildren reached adulthood and she was one of the final survivors of her generation was “Okay! From now on, no one can die before I do”!!  And by the grace of God, no one did.