Rosemarie E. Cola

-- Rosemarie Cola

To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded.

Rosemarie Cola was a New York Original!

She was born and reared in Manhattan at 280 East 10th St., between Avenue A and 1st Avenue, in what is now known as the East Village. She was Rosemarie Theresa Ann Epstein, the only child of Antoinette and David Epstein. Antoinette had started working as a seamstress in NYC sweatshops at age 13. Years later, after David’s untimely death, she continued to make clothing in factories to support herself and Rosemarie.

Rosemarie’s apartment building, her block, and her neighborhood, was a fascinating mixture of first and second generation immigrant families – many of them Italians, or Eastern Europeans. She lived right across the street from Tompkins Square Park. She loved playing in that park as a young girl (and years later, she would enjoy bringing her young children there to play as well). There is still a landmark Russian & Turkish baths in existence on her block, famous Italian, Polish and Ukrainian restaurants and a live theatre with variety acts were nearby, and one of the most famous dessert shops in all of New York City, DeRobertis Bakery, was just a block away.

Rosemarie was a very bright girl and an honor student at P.S. 122 in Manhattan.

She loved Manhattan throughout the years – the energy, the people, the diversity, the culture, the history, the entertainment -- and she always felt a connection to her beloved part of New York City.

In her late teens, Rosemarie fell in love with a handsome and strong man from her neighborhood named James Cola. Upon graduating from High School with honors, Rosemarie was given a very promising job offer by one of the most prominent companies in New York City. However, she was talked out of pursuing it by relatives and loved ones who felt that since prestigious jobs and long-term job paths for women were not common in that era, they felt she should only focus on the more traditional path of being a wife and mother – and maybe someday she could see what she could achieve in the business world once her future children would be grown. So, Rosemarie and James decided to marry on February 2nd, 1951. That marriage would last for more than 62 years!

Rosemarie had two sons, and was a very happy and devoted mother. Her first-born was Joseph, and nearly six years later, her youngest son Jimmy was born. As a young mom, Rosemarie was fun, imaginative, and a joy to her children. One of the greatest things that Rosemarie and her children enjoyed most was their Summers. From very late June through Labor Day, Rosemarie would take her two sons to upstate New York, to the Catskill Mountains. Unlike the concrete city, Rosemarie, Joe and Jimmy would see green trees and mountains, breathe fresh air, and Rosemarie came alive! First as a children’s counselor, then as a social director and comedienne, Rosemarie’s creativity and sense of fun led to such exciting times, that adults and children of that time still vividly remember all the stories and the laughter. Jimmy and Joe would have funny stories and experience things during the Summer months that their friends and neighbors back in the city could not believe. In that era, the Catskill Mountains had many thriving ethnic resorts – Italian; Jewish; Irish: German – and their nightclubs would feature combinations of talented up-and-coming young performers, and occasionally some D-list performers that would still entertain the audiences through their ineptitude. There were hundreds of guests every week, and they all had to be entertained for 7 days and nights. Rosemarie Cola could do it all Summer for many years – without even breaking a sweat. And a Catskills resort called the Dellwood, gave Rosemarie lifelong friends in the Ruta family. Enzo and Terry, Joe, Lucy, and Nat, their other dear friends and relatives like Carmine & Debbie Monello and others became a part of Rosemarie’s family – and she became part of theirs. These relationships endured for her lifetime and brought Rosemarie great joy.

For the other 9 months of the year, economic realities dictated that Rosemarie would have to get into the full time workplace. Even though she had been dissuaded to work all those years ago, Rosemarie was not afraid of any challenges. Quite the opposite – she was unleashed, and could now begin to truly fulfill her potential!

Over the subsequent decades, Rosemarie Cola achieved so much and seemed so much larger-than-life, that she became an inspiration to everyone she knew. She did everything at full speed. She lived life to the fullest – and she did her best to add her energy, integrity, and sense of fun to every cause, every organization, and every person she dealt with.

While at the United Storeworkers Union, she would fight for the rights of working people, while having lifelong friendships with people like Jim Slevin, Carmen Diaz, and many other of her union brothers and sisters.

Over the years, Rosemarie would not only perform these jobs, she would also simultaneously work on her education – getting not only her college degree, but eventually her Master’s Degree. She also became a substance and alcohol abuse counselor, and helped many people rebuild and reclaim their lives. In fact, she was the first woman vice president of the founding New York Chapter of the Labor Assistance Professionals. It was not easy to be in a situation where there were hundreds of men, and one woman. But since that one woman was Rosemarie Cola, and she was fearless, she not only helped save lives by speaking truth to addiction, she made lifelong friends, and she was trusted, listened to, and loved.

With all of these things going on, Rosemarie Cola was just getting warmed up!

She did not just live in a co-op in Jackson Heights, she became President of that co-op – and she did a lot to improve the quality of life for her Northridge neighbors.

For several decades, Rosemarie Cola served on the Board of Trustees of St. John’s Prep High School (which used to be called Mater Christi). Rosemarie loved that school and gave everything she had in service to it. Her two sons had graduated from there, and she believed in the value, character, and ethics, that Catholic schools offered to students. In fact, it was quietly mentioned to her youngest son Jimmy, that the efforts of Rosemarie Cola in the late 70’s and early 80’s essentially saved catholic high schools in Queens – because an economic crisis at that time threatened them all and they could have fallen like dominoes if the first one were to close. Fortunately, they had the right woman there at the right time – and the unbreakable Rosemarie Cola was not going to let that happen. The experience, negotiating skills, and financial acumen of Rosemarie Cola made an enormous impact on Catholic education that is still being felt in Queens today. And Rosemarie continued to work on the Board with dedicated men like Principal William Higgins and Board of Trustees President John Sucich to make vital contributions at St. John’s Prep through early 2013!

Rosemarie Cola has been honored by the State of New York in 2007, she has been part of task forces by former New York State Governors, she has been a featured speaker at the United Nations, she has appeared many times on both local and national news broadcasts, and she was even featured on a front page news story in the New York Times on the rising costs of prescription drugs for the elderly. She was paying thousands of dollars a year for prescription drugs, and instead of passively accepting it, she used her network of connections to senior groups to get the word out about what they could do to fight for their rights. This was a woman who spent a lifetime working in her community and learning how the system really worked.

Rosemarie’s work with AARP gave her important platforms and visibility to help make a difference in the lives of many people. She has been called one of New York’s most tireless advocates for seniors, and she happily fulfilled her duties with a joy and a no-nonsense ferocity. She was honored by AARP on September 15, 2000 with their Amazing Volunteer Award. As the congressional district coordinator for AARP/VOTE, she has worked to bring voter-education information and resources to people 50 and older. She was able to work with such politicians as Senators Hillary Clinton & Chuck Schumer, former New York State Governors Eliot Spitzer & David Patterson, State Senator John Sabini, Queens Borough President Helen Marshall, her dear friend, former New York City Council President Peter Vallone Sr., and many more.

Through AARP, and self-help groups, Rosemarie fought hard for caregivers who are taking care of the elderly as well as for the younger people, so that they won’t be burdened by the cost of caring for the aging population. She invested a substantial amount of time and effort to try to make it easier for people to live in their own homes and maintain their independence. Rosemarie knew of the importance of helping the people who helped build and make this country preserve their dignity and quality of life. She didn’t just talk about things, she lived them. Maintaining her independence, intelligence, compassion, and unmatched sense of humor every day of her life.

This woman was special. When she walked into a room, no matter what the setting, she was a commanding presence. She had charisma, and she truly loved people.

When her son Jimmy had a big party and invited many people of his generation who had not yet met his mother before, he was confident of what would happen. Rosemarie engaged and charmed all of them while making them laugh. They all said how impressed they were by her afterwards, how funny, how current, and how sharp she was, and they eagerly-awaited seeing and talking to her again. It did not matter what the age of the audience was – Rosemarie was a star.

A loving and adored mother, a caring wife, the funniest person in any room, a joyous friend, a formidable opponent, and a supremely capable woman.

That was the unique and unforgettable Rosemarie Cola!

A MEMORIALABLE CONVERSATION

Rosemarie Cola lived her life to the fullest. She was smart, funny, dynamic and extremely independent. She died in her own home, on her own terms. A true one-of-a-kind individual, Rosemarie was unafraid to discuss any subject, and even once speculated on her own future in a conversation with her youngest son Jimmy.

Rosemarie: “If you have to die, it’s better to go quickly. In that way, you don’t have to suffer”.

Jimmy: “Yes, but it would be terrible because you would not have a chance to say goodbye”.

Rosemarie: “It would be terrible for my loved ones and friends because they would be shocked and would not be prepared for the pain and the loss.

Jimmy: “I can’t even think about it”.

Rosemarie: The one I would worry most about is you. You have a good heart, but we don’t have a large family for support. Just remember that you gave me everything I could ask for while I was alive. I could depend on you. You bought me things I needed and things that were fun. You threw me big parties, you introduced me to all your friends and spoke proudly of me, we had a lifetime of great Christmases and holidays and the best Summers up in the Catskill Mountains. If you travelled anywhere, you would take a lot of pictures and share them with me so I could feel I saw those countries as well.

You gave me flowers while I could smell them. Don’t ever forget that.

What I would say to you and my other loved ones and dear friends would be: Remember me with a smile on your face because of all the laughter and good times we enjoyed''.

Eulogy from James Cola:

ROSEMARIE COLA

"My name is Jimmy Cola. On behalf of my family, I would like to talk about Rosemarie Cola. We’ll need some time to get it all in because this was not just your average person. She was unique, she had a full life, and as she would often playfully brag about, she was the head of a highly successful dysfunctional family.

My mother was and is my hero.

She was the only child of Antoinette Epstein, who worked in a sweatshop as a seamstress to support herself and her daughter. My older brother Joe and I were born in Manhattan, butraised in Jackson Heights, Queens, which was not far from the old Shea Stadium where football and baseball stars like Joe Namath and Tom Seaver played. They were great – but to us, Rosemarie was better. And my brother and I had the best seats in the house every day. How can adoring children fully express the gratitude they have for a lifetime of inspiration and entertainment? We had fun. We were protected. We were given the freedom to choose our own path and express our creativity. And we were loved.

Rosemarie Cola was a dynamic woman of energy, intelligence, and belief in her own abilities. She was self-made, and she taught her sons to fight fiercely when you are doing things you truly believe in. We saw her on television verbally shoot down the most pompous politicians of her time – yet do it in a way where even they often laughed because she was innately funny. When you come home from school or from work and you can’t get in the apartment doorway because

an NBC Nightly News or ABC Evening News TV camera crew is videotaping your mom for that evening’s national broadcast, you get the impression that you could be in the presence of greatness.

Over many decades, in both her personal and professional life, Rosemarie Cola gave the boundless energy she had to make a difference to her friends, to her extended family, to her community and the State of New York. To this day I have no idea how this mother of 2 from a co-op in Jackson Heights was able to do things like being invited to speak multiple times at the United Nations. Who gets to do that? They chose her because she understood how the world really works and she cared enough to try her part to make it a little better. We saw that ourmother could reach people one-on-one, or in large groups, or on a big global stage. She was the most sociable person I have ever known and she truly loved people.

We heard some of the nicest and most life-affirming comments from fairly intimidating-looking Labor Union men, many of whom had dealt with substance or alcohol abuse and whose lives Rosemarie had positively affected. She loved these guys, she was an experienced counselorwho knew how to help them, and she felt that working with the Labor Assistance Professionals and helping people reclaim their lives was one of the most rewarding things she ever did in her life. We’ve seen the pictures where there seems to be two or three hundred guys – and one woman. Rosemarie Cola. On one of the times she was asked to speak in front of a massive crowd of these tough men, she started by saying that the most important thing this crowd of men should know was that her room number was 613! The place exploded with laughter! She

was joking, but she was showing the all-male crowd that she was not afraid of them. From that point on, the audience loved her. They listened to her and she encouraged them to continue to straighten out their relationships and their lives that were previously filled with alcohol or substance abuse. Over the course of many years, they knew she was authentic, that she cared about them, that she was smart, and that she was tough.

Rosemarie Cola was an energetic, imaginative, virtuoso who seemed to excel at many careers instead of just one. She was a truly original one-of-a-kind performer who was one of New York State’s most tireless advocates for seniors, and she did many things for AARP that continue to benefit seniors today. She was the first woman vice president of the founding New York Chapter of the Labor Assistance Professionals. And she was featured in an extensive front page New York Times article on the rising costs of prescription drugs for the elderly.

Rosemarie Cola has been part of task forces by former New York State Governors & she strongly supported the efforts of her dear friend, former City Council President Peter Vallone. She was involved with many different unions throughout the city before she retired after more than 30 years, and she always fought the hardest for those who needed it the most. She did not just passively live in a co-op. She became President of that co-op, and did a lot of positive things for her Northridge neighbors.

She was a strong, good woman, a role model, and a loving mother. My mother was proud of her children and her extended family. My father was an Emmy-Award winning master makeup artist and my brother followed in my father’s footsteps and has won numerous Emmy awards as a make-up artist. For me, she was interested as a loving mother in every little detail and every victory in the things that I have ever done. I could not have had a bigger fan or greater champion. And she loved that I shared any and all of my successes with her. And I celebrated her successes as well. I know she was proud of the things I accomplished, but more importantly to her, she would often tell me that she was proud of me for being a good

man.

Many years ago, when the New York Rangers finally won a championship after 54 years of losing, instead of leaving the hockey arena and going out to celebrate, because I had waited so long and my mother used to buy me the tickets to go to the games when I was younger, I actually went to see my mother to enjoy it with her in the hopes that it wasn’t too late at night. Well when I got to her home, I found Rosemarie with a big smile and an even bigger bottle of champagne ready to celebrate. My mother knew her son very well.

I’ve told some of the people in this room that I believe I was once by another boy’s mother when I was in first grade and I saw my usually happy and funny mother who I did not know could move that fast actually chase this much taller woman about 3 blocks while being cheered on by some tough local gang kids who were in the same park. They thought my mother was tough and fearless. So did I. So did the woman after Rosemarie finally caught her and hit her. We never had any more problems with that woman after that day

Rosemarie loved when I was able to visit Italy once in the hopes that we might find a possible distant relative if one existed. We learned that the last name of Rosemarie’s mother had been altered at Ellis Island – and it should have remained Saltarella. Rosemarie grew up thinking she had no living relatives back there. We not only found a wonderful couple who were my mother’s cousins, the beautiful Patrizia cooked us an endlessly fantastic meal, they seemingly invited a quarter of the small town of Biccari to eat with us, and we were somehow related to all of them. We then arranged for cousin Domenico to be put on a telephone with Rosemarie. I still have no idea what happened because Domenico and his family did not speak English, my mother nor I could really speak Italian, yet the two of them were both laughing and crying with joy at the conversation! Domenico seemed to understand that Rosemarie was crying from the joy of finding out that we were not alone and that we had surviving family members in Italy – even though she could not speak Italian. Evidently, no obstacle was too big for Rosemarie to overcome. She was proud that the bloodline of the Saltarella family flowed through her. I could not have asked for a better mother and I thank God for giving me Rosemarie.

A strong advocate for education, and an inspiring woman who went back to get her master’s degree at an advanced age, Rosemarie Cola did important work at St. Gabriel’s School in East Elmhurst, Louis Armstrong Middle School, and she was a longtime member of the Board Of Trustees at St. John’s Prep (which used to be Mater Christi) in Astoria, N.Y. She loved that school in particular and was truly dedicated to it. She loved interacting with St. John’s Prep students, and she always remained young at heart. She was grateful that St. Gabriel’s gave me a lifelong friend named Jesus Garcia, a talented artist whom she referred to always as her third son; whom she was proud of as he recently became a U.S. citizen; and whom would always eat tons of her chicken cutlets. And she was grateful that Mater Christi gave me a lifelong friend

named Luca Vuolo who my mother loved so much she referred to him always as her fourth son.

Rosemarie Cola was officially recognized by the State of New York for her joyous humor, her out-of-the-box thinking, and her love for people of all ages that drove her to contribute her time and talents to countless civic and charitable endeavors.

I can’t tell you how many times it surprised and amazed me that she could be conducting difficult financial negotiations, or helping people with serious and sometimes life and death issues all day, or being honored & giving a speech at West Point, and I would come to visit her and I would be astonished to see this brilliant & capable woman laughing like a child about the

silliness of stuffed toys that danced on her dining room table and sang funny songs. It was playful insanity, it got her to laugh, and it was really who my beautiful mother was.

She was a strong, good woman with a world class sense of humor, evidenced by her long-standing & highly enjoyable role as a Catskill Mountains social director and comedian. This was a woman who could manage & entertain hundreds of guests 7 days a week without even breaking a sweat. And some of those guys she would playfully tease with and even use insult humor on were allegedly big time gangsters of that era. She had guts. Luckily for all of us, they always thought she was very funny and they would come back to the resort year after year to get playfully insulted some more.

Rosemarie Cola came from very little. She did not let that stop her or even use that as any kindof excuse. She accomplished a great deal. And she positively affected many lives. I knowhow much she sacrificed for me, and our whole family, and I know that I would not be the man that I am today if not for Rosemarie.

We cannot believe that this primal force of a woman died suddenly in her home on February 10th just nineteen days before her 80th birthday. Her husband James Sr., my brother and I, other dear family members and friends, and a multitude of people whose lives have been positively affected by Rosemarie Cola are irreparably injured.

Three days before she died, Rosemarie did get to do something she loved – get her favorite form of exercise by pulling the handle up and down on the House of Mystery slot machine at the Empire Casino in Yonkers. I don’t know if any of you know this, but as my brother and I could tell you, we always had to get her up there for the very opening of the casino in the early morning because there was always a large group of determined seniors with their rollators to help them with mobility gathered right outside the doors, and the minute they would open, they would do a slow-motion race and bump into each other’s rollator while franticly inching their way toward their favorite slot machine. It was like roller derby for the elderly!

Two days before she died, Rosemarie braved the beginnings of a snowstorm to visit her favorite hairdresser one block away because she loved his work and always wanted her hair to look its best. That was the last time I saw her.

One day before she died, Rosemarie called to tell me she was worried about me possibly driving around in that big snowstorm that recently hit our area – and that no matter how old she or I had become, she was still my mother and she would always worry about my safety. I ultimately told her I would not go, she was very relieved, and the last thing my mother literally said to me was that she loved me. Well I loved and adored her too.

All of us who loved Rosemarie her will never forget her energy, and sense of humor. The people up in heaven had better be prepared to laugh. Everyone in my family is confident that just about everyone who knew Rosemarie has at least 1 funny story involving her. Please remember all those stories. Please remember her distinctive laugh which we’ve all heard many, many times. And please remember that she loved everyone in this room and her memory will remain alive in our hearts.

Thank you."

Jimmy Cola

Adoring son of Rosemarie Cola

Eulogy from Jesus Garcia

"My name is Jesus Garcia, and as Rosemarie Cola would always say, “my third son.” I’ve known this woman since the late 1960’s, and in that long period of time, I have experienced the unconditional love and amazing sense of humor of the most accomplished, and most unique woman I have ever known. If laughter is the best medicine, then Rosemarie Cola has about 1,000 doctoral degrees.

I went to school with her youngest son Jimmy, and as his friend, we dreamed that one day he would be a writer and I would be an artist. Well we both owe a lot to the extraordinary Rosemarie Cola. We would either be in her dining room or in her mother’s kitchen and Jimmy would write and I would draw, and we would love to show Rosemarie our work to see if she would like it. As I’m sure you all know, this was not a woman who was afraid to speak her mind. If your work really stunk – she would have no problem telling you. Loudly. But, as she taught us by example, if you put a piece of yourself into all of

your work, it becomes an extension of you, it is your voice and your creative expression, and it helps you make a contribution to the world. She always gave us the encouragement to believe in ourselves and she believed in us. Now you have to realize that this was long ago, before there were desktop computers. When he would work by my place, I grew up seeing the young Jimmy Cola typing on a typewriter while sitting on a coffee table - I didn’t have an extra chair for him to sit on, and the typewriter was on an ironing board because I didn’t have a free table for him to work on either. And I had to use magic markers to manually draw things – like using a lot of yellow to color in every single lit-up window of the New York Skyline at night. What Rosemarie knew, and she told us only when we were older, is that like her, when you have to overcome obstacles in life, it makes you more resourceful and stronger. She wanted us to be strong to be able to make our way in the world and dream big. She beamed with pride as Jimmy grew up to be a great and very accomplished writer and marketing director, and I became a graphic artist. She is a big reason why we are the people we are today. She was truly one-of-a-kind and I loved her very much.

I just want to make sure you all hear a story about Rosemarie that I think illustrates what a beautiful soul this woman has. I was very young at the time. Rosemarie was once invited to some fancy CountryClub that had a swimming pool which was appealing during a very hot summer. Upon trying to get in with both her young son Jimmy and me, she was told at the gate that she and Jimmy could get in, but even though she was allowed to bring 2 guests, I was not going to be allowed in. It was a different era, and I was Cuban, and my presence would not be allowed in that Country Club. They said it right to her face – but they were hoping Rosemarie would still want to come in, help entertain their VIP guests, and enjoy the very nice facilities. Now, I may not remember all the details, but I do remember Rosemarie telling them off with the most colorfullanguage I had ever heard. I didn’t know that anyone’s mom was allowed to curse like that. That was so cool! Not only was it entertaining, but I added many new and fascinating words to my vocabulary. And I truly felt like her son as she proudly refused to enter and took us away. Well I have felt and been treated like her son for most of my life and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Rosemarie was generous to a fault even when she had very little. And I want those of you who may not know, that Jimmy her son, who I know very well, is an extension of Rosemarie, and lavished some of the most beautiful examples of love and devotion on his mother over decades. He would throw her big parties, introduce her to all his friends, and proudly tell stories about his amazing and highly original mother. I have witnessed this love and devotion many times, and Rosemarie has said that she could not have asked for more. I will miss Rosemarie for the rest of my life – but I will also celebrate her for the rest of my life. I want you all to know what a privilege it has been to be accepted into a family like this, and to be a loving son of the great Rosemarie Cola.

Thank you."

Jesus Garcia

ROSEMARIE E. COLA

One of New York State’s most tireless advocates for seniors has passed away at age 79.

Rosemarie E. Cola, MSW, the first woman vice president of the founding New York Chapter of the Labor Assistance Professionals died suddenly at her home in Jackson Heights, N.Y. on February 10th.

The dynamic Mrs. Cola has been seen multiple times on Good Morning America, ABC Evening News, NBC Nightly News, New York 1, in the New York Daily News, and she was featured in an extensive front page New York Times article on the rising costs of prescription drugs for the elderly. Rosemarie Cola has been part of task forces by former New York State Governors, and she was involved with many different unions throughout the city, with responsibilities ranging from fiduciary to alcohol and substance abuse counseling, before she retired after more than 30 years.

A strong advocate for education, and an inspiring woman who went back to get her master’s degree at an advanced age, Rosemarie Cola did important work at St. Gabriel’s School in East Elmhurst, Louis Armstrong Middle School, and she was a longtime member of the Board Of Trustees at St. John’s Prep in Astoria, N.Y. Mrs. Cola was officially recognized by the State of New York for her joyous humor, her out-of-the-box problem-solving thinking, and her love for people of all ages that drove her to contribute her time and talents to countless civic and charitable endeavors.

Personally, she was a strong, good woman with a world class sense of humor -- evidenced by her long-standing and highly enjoyable role as a Catskill Mountains social director and comedian. This is a woman who could manage and entertain hundreds of guests seven days a week in the summer without ever breaking a sweat. The people up in Heaven had better prepare themselves to laugh. Rosemarie was fiercely devoted to her family, her extended family of friends and to the House of Mystery slot machine at Empire Raceway Casino. She is survived by her husband James, and her two sons James and Joseph.