“Lord, help my sisters remember that nothing is going to happen to them that you and they cannot handle,” These are the first words that come out of my mouth every time I leave the apartment. I got this prayer from a card that Sally Cabotaje and the late Peping gave to me when we went to Our Lady of Peace Parish in Oceanside.
My sister Felicidad Cabe Doliente was born in Narvacan, Ilocos Sur, Philippines, on March 6, 1939. She is the fourth child of 8 brothers and sisters (5 girls and 3 boys), She grew up in Nagrebcan, a small village of about 30 homes where every villager knows each other.
After she finished elementary grade school (Sixth Grade), my sister Fely wanted to attend high school, but my parents were not able to afford her to go. So, she ended up helping my parents in the farm. Her efficiency caught the eye of our neighbors, so a lot of them hired her. In fact, she had a full schedule from Monday thru Saturday. That is true during rice planting season, cleaning the rice fields, harvesting, planting tobaccos and every hard work in the farm. She is very industrious and very conscientious.
With one peso per day wage for farm work, she was able to save some money. She used her earnings to attend vocational school. She studied hairstyling. She was very good at that and she finished at the top of her class. As a side note, she helped me quite a bit because I was continuing to go to school at that time. Our family decided that I continue my schooling until I finished high school.
After I finished high school, I joined our family in the farm. I formed a team with my sister Fely to work in the farm. Our team was well liked by all the people in our village that we never had days off except Sundays.
We did that for three and a half years. Then the opportunity to continue my studies came. My sister Fely also decided to attend high school. She finished high school at the top of her class.
Meanwhile, my sister likes to sing. One of the highlights of her being sociable is she played the role of the leading lady for a play that was shown during our barrio fiesta.
She attended barrio fiestas other than our own barrio., even going out of town. She participated in a lot of amateur singing contests.
When I came to the United States, she decided to attend college. She enrolled at the University of the East, in Manila. She finished her Bachelor of Science Degree in Commerce, major in Accounting.
After I became a citizen of the United States, I petitioned for my parents. They were able to come here shortly. When my parents petitions for my sisters were approved, I told my three single sisters, “That if they want to come to the United States quick, they should remain single.
My three single sisters, Forentina, Felicidad and Angelita took my advice to heart and they remained single. So, I take the blame for the three of them not getting married until now.
April 8, 2019, my sister Fely fell to the ground, a few steps away from our apartment door. She broke her left arm. This is the start of her journey. She had surgery on the arm. We took care of her She was able to recover. Three months later, she fell on the same spot, She had fractures on her right femur. Another surgery. After rehabbing at Kearny Mesa Nursing and Rehabilitation, we brought her home.
A few weeks later, she fell for the third time on the same spot. This time, she ruptured her hips. She went back to the Rehab center for another week.
October 6th 2020, she tried to go to the bathroom alone. She fell to the floor and this time, she fractured both of her pelvic bones. She was brought to the hospital for the fourth time. This time, we decided to skip the surgery. She has suffered quite a bit and surgery will just add to her pain.
After two weeks at the Kearny Mesa Nursing and Rehabilitation center, Apreva Hospice took over and she was transferred to La Jolla Nursing Home and Rehabilitation Center as a Custodial patient. She stayed there for over 7 months.
While at the La Jolla Nursing Home and Rehabilitation Center, she had improved quite a bit. She made a lot of friends especially the nurses that served her. She was their Auntie Fely whenever I called the center and ask for any update of the condition of my sister.
After 6 months, I had a virtual meeting with the staff of the Rehab center.I was briefed on the progress of my sister. I was informed that sister Fely was very active in the participation of the facilities group activities. ln fact, she likes to stay in front and volunteered readily whenever they asked for any volunteer.
I was asked if I wanted to bring my sister home. At that time, it was very hard for me to answer that question. As much as I had wanted to have my sister back home, it was not practical for me to take care of two older sisters. So, I opted for my sister Fely to stay longer at the rehab center.
Then at about 2:15 in the morning of June 1st, I got the dreaded call from the Nursing Home that my sister Fely passed away at approximately 1:57 AM.
I purposely did not tell my oldest sister the sad news until about 6 AM. I did not want her to panic that early in the morning.
When I broke the sad news to my sister Flor. She cried and cried and cried. I let her cry because she and my sister Fely were very close to each other since they were kids.
I would like to thank sister Grace, brother Armando, pareng Pete, mareng Nita, pareng Rey, mareng Virgie, sister Lori, brother Moss, sister Benny, Imelda, Wandy and her daughter Judy Mae,my nieces Linda, Dolly, my nephews Roger, Romeo and Andy, I thank you so much for giving us company during the 9 days prayers for the repose of the soul of my sister Fely. To our cousin Connie and my sister Angie, I thank you so much for the food that you shared with us on the fifth day of our prayers.
To brother Ernie and sister Imelda, who organized a virtual rosary for my sister Fely with Brother Pablo and sister Sonia, Pareng Rey and Mareng Virgie, and brother Nestor last night, I thank you so much for your support.
To everyone who is here this evening, I thank you so much for your presence and sharing your prayers and your thoughts.
Before I forget, I would like to invite all of you to the reception after the interment tomorrow. Lunch will probably start after 11:30 AM at the Seaside Buffet, 8998 Miramar Rd, San Diego 92126, telephone 858-566-1888 or 868-566-6188.
Thank you so much.
Good evening to all.
Abe Doliente
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