I love my dad, but during the early years of my life, our relationship was complicated. My dad thought if the Marine Corp boot camp manual, worked for making great soldiers, it would be an even better tool for raising children. Unfortunately, that didn’t work so well, but we survived. As it so often happens in life, our relationship matured, and deepened. In time, we developed a mutual respect for each other and a closeness.
My dad loved to tell jokes, but not just any joke, really corny jokes. As I got more involved in my dad’s medical care, I had many opportunities to talk to the various medical personnel that he interacted with. I can’t tell how many times, they would tell me, “I saw your dad today, and he told me this really bad joke. One of my dad’s latest jokes was this, What kind of car does Jesus drive in heaven… My dad’s response, “A Chrysler.” My dad thought this joke was hilarious.
My dad liked to tell people, “I’m going to live to be 125”, and then he would follow that up with, “but I’m not going to die of natural causes.” And he would finish with, “Her husband is going to come home while I’m at the house.”
Because my dad was starting to lose his memory, the next time he saw you, you were going to hear that joke again, but this time when he asked you how’d you know the punchline, if you told him, that’s the same joke he told you last Monday, he would argue with you that he never told you that joke before.
I don’t know how many of you knew that my dad personally knew Michelle Obama, well kind of. Dad was having problems getting compensated by the VA, for hearing loss he sustained while in the military. It just so happens that at the same time Michelle Obama was starting to advocate for veterans, and VA reform. Dad received a letter from the VA, that had Michelle Obama’s name on it, which he took as a letter she personally wrote to him. My dad saved that letter, and If you ever mention to him that you were having problems with the government, Dad would offer to call Michelle Obama for you, because he had a personal relationship with her. I never had the heart to tell him it was a form letter.
If you’ve ever driven with my dad, you would know that he likes to give you directions to where you’re going, and don’t even think about using your GPS. Typically, when I drove with my dad, I drove and he navigated. The worst arguments we ever had, were while he was navigating.
This is how it usually went, I would ask my dad to tell me about a block before we needed to turn, so I could get into the appropriate lane, but my dad had other ideas. He must have thought that my driving skills, were far better than they were, because usually he yelled out, “turn here” while I was in the middle of the intersection.
A couple of times, out of instincts, I tried to make the turn, and we almost crashed into a car. So, I started using my GPS, just so I could anticipate where to turn next. Well, dad started complaining every time heard the women’s voice on the GPS, he thought it didn’t make any sense, since he was sitting in the seat right next to me. To avoid an argument, I muted the sound on the GPS. I figured I would just keep an eye on it as we drove, but every time he saw me looking at the GPS, it irritated him, and we would argue. I often wondered, what would happen if my dad ever took Uber, I would probably see it on the evening news, Uber driver abandons car at intersection, and was seen fleeing on foot.
I’m sure everyone who knew my dad, knew he believed in herbal supplements. If it was on an infomercial, or on the internet, it had to be true. My dad was also a conspiracy theorist. Dad believed that the pharmaceutical companies paid-off doctors, so that the doctors would only prescribe medications from that particular pharmaceutical company, and in turn ignore promising discoveries, like the cure for cancer, or pills that would make your hair grow.
Lastly, I believe real love comes from accepting a person just as they are, loving them despite your differences, and being grateful that God chose you to be in their lives. My Dad and I had our battles, but I know without a doubt, he loved his family and friends, he had a kind heart, and he always had a joke to share, to put a smile on your face. This is the man that I had the honor of calling him “My Dad.” We love you Dad!
Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.palmmortuary.com for the Deruise family.
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