You were the most kind and caring son.
You will never be forgotten and you will be forever in our hearts.
Love Mom & Dad
With sad news, my beautiful son, Tristan, took his own life on June 27. We are devastated. Just two days before, he talked about going back to SIDES to upgrade his schooling, getting his driver’s licence, and do some travelling. But his dark depression was too strong.
I was so proud to see him born into this world. He struggled right from the beginning with a tough birth and had to stay in special care for one week. He was diagnosed with autism at the age of 2, but we always felt it was something else. Tristan was so social and loving. He loved to give hugs to everyone. He attended Queen Alexander school from the age of 2 to 6. Then, because of his disability he was in multiple schools. He also went to several group homes but was so unhappy. Good news came with the kind and caring support of SIDES in that Tristan graduated with his Dogwood High School Diploma. He was so proud of his graduation ceremony and we were so very proud of Tristan. Many of his support workers attended his ceremony. He struggled to make friends with his peers, but bonded well with adults. One of his support workers, described him as an "old soul."
He was like many young boys. He loved climbing, nature, water parks, music, and playing video games. We must have visited every playground in Victoria but the Parksville Waterpark was his favourite. He even went to a few live concerts. His favourites were Canadian Indie Bands and his favourite band was The Tragically Hip.
When he turned 19, he lived in a Group Share home, but was so unhappy. Last January we told him to come home where he belongs. He seemed to be happy again and was making so much greater progress. We had the best times together. Tristan was developing into a young man and was really settling down.
I got him a job in February as a Housekeeper at my workplace, Selkirk Place. He said that he finally had a purpose as he was contributing to a workforce. He struggled at first, but was gaining more confidence each day. I was so proud that we got to work together on the same floor. Many of the residents were so kind to him by telling him what a wonderful job that he was doing. I wanted to hug him, but he was too cool for that he said.
He was so proud of his new electric bike that he bought on May 8. He would clean it almost every day. We had some great times biking together. We had a beautiful day riding around Elk and Beaver Lake and he had a nice ride with his mother just two days before. His favourite place to go was to Mattick’s Farm.
He enjoyed his Lifetime Networks meetings with the staff and was getting comfortable to open up to them. They had arranged for him to go e-biking with a new staff member. He was so happy to be home. We loved having our son home, so we could see him everyday and tell him how much we loved him and how proud we are of him. He was so kind and caring. He would help me cut the grass and other household jobs. Tristan was always a joy to be around. He loved listening to his Indie music and his CBC radio.
I feel guilty that I could have done more for him and had planned to go biking and food outings with him on my July vacation. He did leave a note apologizing to his Mom and Dad and said it wasn't our fault. That's just the way he was in that he didn't want us to feel guilty.
Tristan’s mother was kind and caring with Tristan. She would always go above and beyond to take care of him. His younger sister, Hannah, is saddened by the loss of her only brother.
My heart is heavy and I will never forget my special boy. We should have had countless years together.
Dear Tristan, may you find the peace that you were looking for. I will never forget you and you will always be in my heart. I pray that I will see you again.
Love, Dad.
SHARE OBITUARY
v.1.11.1