Sean Robert Bates

Sean Robert Bates was born on February 4, 1972, in Woodstock, Illinois. Early in Sean’s life the Bates family moved around first to Springfield, IL where Sean’s brother Dustin was born. Subsequently, the family lived in Matteson, IL—Sean was around 4 years old. His boisterous personality and love of people began to emerge at this time when Sean went knocking door to door asking all the neighbors if they had any friends that he could play with. The family then moved to Rockford, IL and in 1982 landed in Bloomingdale, IL where Sean grew up. He graduated from Lake Park West High School in 1990.

Sean was recruited by the Marine Corps when he was 17, committing to serve his country before he even graduated high school. As he always said, “I needed the Marine Corps.” Sean joined the 3rd Battalion 3rd Marines infantry, military occupational specialty MOS 0311, rifleman. He was a “true grunt,” the heartbeat and lifeblood of what the Marine Corps stands for. People like Sean are responsible for our country’s successes in every major and most minor conflicts.

Sean was stationed in San Diego for basic training and Camp Pendleton for advanced training. Later, while stationed at Marine Barracks in Hawaii, Sean was detailed to the Pearl Harbor Naval Shipyard to serve on the Guard Company Pearl platoon, receiving a certificate of commendation for this work. There, Sean was part of a specialized guard unit providing security for the buildings where all the intelligence for the Pacific Ocean went through.

Sean spent six months on a specialized defuel duty as the shipyard decommissioned a first-generation nuclear-powered submarine. He was selected for this mission as part of an elite platoon, U.S. Marines MOS 8156, tasked with protecting U.S. diplomatic facilities. In Hawaii, this often refers to roles safeguarding Navy assets. Subsequently, Sean toured the South Pacific—mainly Okinawa and Japan.

Sean ultimately earned a Navy Achievement Medal in the performance of his duties, demonstrating superior levels of tactical and technical proficiency in areas of patrolling, defensive operations, military operations in urban terrain, and call for fire. He was meritoriously promoted to Corporal and honorably discharged after four years of active duty and four years in the reserves.

Sean met Jill after completing active duty with the Marine Corps, when he attended Eastern Illinois University in Charleston. There, they both worked at the Alamo Steakhouse with Sean’s younger brother Dustin and several lifelong friends who have become more like family. Sean and Jill married on August 1, 1998, and enjoyed 27 years together in Holy Matrimony—mirroring the unconditional love and commitment emulated in the marriage of his own parents, Bob and Gwen Bates.

As newlyweds, Sean and Jill moved to Texas for a short time after college (1998-2000) before moving to the Chicagoland area (2000-2006) and eventually relocating to Cary, NC, in 2006. They welcomed son Alex in 2009 and daughter Payton in 2011. The family moved to Haddon Hall subdivision in Apex, NC, in 2012, where they have greatly expanded their friends-that-have-become-family circle.

Sean had a larger-than-life personality and intense approach to everything—always loud and authentically Sean. He will be remembered for his unmatched ability to make (and keep!) friends, his questionable fashion sense (shared by brother Dustin), and an unparalleled love for Jesus. He truly valued relationships and demonstrated fierce loyalty to all those he cared for. Sean worked hard to stay true to himself and always sought to understand “why” before agreeing to or standing behind something.

Fittingly, Sean’s professional vocation for over 20 years was in sales, specifically information technology sales. His mastery of IT sales began under the tutelage and mentorship of his father, Bob Bates, at Eicon Technologies. Sean went on to work for Novell, Konica Minolta, and Icon Technologies, a trajectory that culminated in his strategic roles at Cisco Technologies, where he spent most of his career.

Sean excelled in his professional endeavors, earning several awards including President’s Club and trips to the Panama as well as Dominican Republic joining other high achievers. His personality was always an ideal fit for territories that needed to be built and developed. In fact, Sean earned Cisco’s Team East Scrappy Award three times during his tenure. As his colleagues will remember him say, “Intensity is my thing!”

Sean’s biggest life accomplishment wasn’t professional, however. It was becoming a dad to Alexander Robert and Payton Grace Bates. Sean loved being a dad and was in awe of his kids. He was so proud of Alex and Payton’s intelligence and innumerable other special talents, and he enjoyed going to every activity they participated in. Like the intensity he brought to work, Sean studied his kids’ interests—watching untold hours of professional volleyball for Payton and learning all about acting for Alex—so that he could better interact with and guide them. He also devoted a lot of time and thought to intentionally discipling Alex to become a strong Christian man. He immediately volunteered anytime the kids needed a ride somewhere and often drove around a group of their friends as well.

One of Sean’s favorite past times was eating ice cream, and he had a rule that the family needed to walk there and back if they wanted to go out for a treat. In that way, the foursome often frequented Fresh downtown Apex to enjoy scoops of midnight brownie or salted caramel!

Sean loved to watch UFC matches every Saturday, was an avid gamer, comic book afficionado, and enjoyed speed reading all sorts of books. He also had a love for fitness and enjoyed staying active. Sean spent much time caring for his body both with the nourishment of movement but also eating whole foods from nature and what he called “bro science.”

Sean’s love of physical fitness drew him to an organization that would become a defining element of his life, F3 (Faith, Fitness, and Fellowship). Sean was hooked on F3 from the moment he first posted and was christened “Floppy Crust” —an homage to his Chicago roots and disdain for NY-style pizza. Sean told everyone he knew about F3 and encouraged involvement to disciple more men to Christ and nurture positive male comradery. Sean’s involvement in F3 was ear marked with his signature boots, portable speaker blaring Jesus music, intensity, loyalty, and love of rucking. Sean rucked and rucked and rucked some more. His most revered memory of rucking was being part of a team that completed the Blue Ridge Relay in 2024, where he rucked 51.3 miles underweight.

Sean loved Jesus wholeheartedly. He participated in multiple Bible studies and was particularly drawn to a specific kind of group where the didactics were limited and the fellowship emphasized. Sean loved to philosophically debate and discuss the history and significance of God’s Holy Word.

Sean’s love for the Lord was activated by a visit from the Holy Spirit 14 years ago. Sean—a suffering alcoholic at the time—had attempted sobriety several times only to relapse and fall into despair. It was in his despair that he cried out to our Lord and Savior and encountered Him in that moment while on a plane. He described the experience as being overwhelmed by the Spirit and culminating in divine healing. Thereafter, he never took another sip of alcohol.

From that very moment, Sean developed magnificent zeal for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He was never ashamed of his devotion to Jesus and proclaimed His salvific power to everyone and everywhere he could. Sean intentionally discipled everyone he met, and he always sought out the lost and outcast. His gruff appearance, past strife and openness to share them made him quite approachable, and in this way, Sean brought many people to Christ, growing the Kingdom of God.

Sean was the ultimate optimist, always looking at the bright side of life—and often in an embellished manner. However, even when embellished, Sean’s optimism and joy were contagious and attracted many friends. Sean spoke much about maintaining proper priorities in life: God first, family second, and then community.

Sean loved Jill fiercely, freely, faithfully, and fruitfully. He was her biggest cheerleader and support over the 28 years they were together. Sean many times over the years loved Jill sacrificially while accepting her feminine genius as the helper God designed woman to be. While Jill is not perfect, Sean said in his final days, “you are perfect for me.”

Sean Robert Bates of Apex, NC, passed away, joining his Heavenly Father in eternal glory, on Thursday, January 8, 2026, at the age of 53. He is survived by his wife Jill and two children Alex (16) and Payton (14). His passing precedes his beloved parents Gwendolyn and Robert “Bob” Bates; brother Dustin (Danielle) Bates; nephew Erik Bates; and niece Elaine Bates. He is also survived by his parental in-laws Robert and Diane Enger as well as David and Susan Schurmann; brothers-in-law Darren (Laura) Enger, Craig (Kathy) Enger; Michael Schurmann; and sister-in-law Tara (Bill) Eckert. Sean is preceded in death by his brothers-in-law David Enger and Benjamin Von Feldt.

The family would like to thank the Durham VA Medical Center staff and especially those caregivers within the oncology, radiation oncology, emergency department, and palliative care service lines. Sean received excellent and compassionate care from all his caregivers with many often going above and beyond the call of duty to help him. His care team demonstrated superb clinical acumen in the toughest of circumstances and guided Sean wisely throughout his cancer journey. The family thanks the staff of Heroes Way for the loving care provided to Sean and our family during his final days.

Family and friends are invited to attend a funeral mass at Saint Mary Magdalene, 625 Magdala Place, Apex, NC, 27502, on Friday, January 23, 2026, at 12 p.m., with military honors to follow.

A private, invitation-only, interment will take place thereafter. Family and friends are invited to visit Sean’s final resting place in front of the memorial pavilion and flag at the center of Field of Honor II at Historic Oakwood Cemetery in Raleigh as early as Saturday, January 24.

A celebration of Sean’s life will be held at Chatham Station, 110 N. Walker Street, Cary, NC, 27511, on Friday January 23, 2026, from 6 p.m. to midnight. A Presentation of Colors will be held at 6:30 p.m. Please RSVP by January 21, if you plan to attend. All are welcome.