Mr. Robert Adams Kerr

KERR, Robert Adams

April 14, 1924 - April 29, 2008

Robert (Bob) passed away peacefully at the Rockyview Hospital on April 29, 2008 at the age of 84 years. Bob is lovingly remembered by his wife Marlene, son Paul (Glynis) daughters Ann and Valerie (Phil) and sister Vivienne (Wesley), 4 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. He was predeceased by his brother John.

Born in Wicklow, Eire, Bob was educated and trained as a Quantity Surveyor in Dublin, Eire. His roving spirit took him to England, Mauritius, Jamaica and various locations in Canada, finally settling in Calgary in 1982, where he worked for the City of Calgary as their Contracts Administrator to the Project Management Team which built the original North East and North West ‘C’ Train until his retirement in 1993. In retirement he carried out volunteer work at COP and the Energeum.

A Celebration of Life was held at SOUTH CALGARY FUNERAL CENTRE, 12700 Macleod Trail South, Calgary on Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 2:00 p.m.

If friends so desire, memorial donations may be made directly to the Alzheimer’s Society of Calgary, (#201, 222 – 58 Ave SW, Calgary T2H 2S3) the Canadian Diabetes Association (#204, 2323 – 32 Ave NE, Calgary T2E 6Z3) or the Canadian Cancer Society (2nd Fl, 215 – 12 Ave SE, Calgary T2G 1A2).

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Bonnie Roddis, Officiating Celebrant

We have gathered together today to honour a remarkable man of family, Robert Adams Kerr. Bob was born April 14, 1924 in Wicklow in the South of Ireland and he passed softly from your loving presence on April 29, 2008 here in Calgary. Bob’s journey was a long and interesting one, during his life he lived each and everyday as fully and appreciatively as possible. There are countless, positive words one could use to describe Bob Kerr, precise, professional, meticulous, strong, intelligent, interested, but perhaps the ones closest to everyone’s hearts today would be loving, kind, caring, quiet yet supportive. People mattered to Bob Kerr, friends were cherished and friendships with Bob were lasting ones; dogs and children gave him joy and pleasure but his family were his life – his reason for being, the reason he got up everyday and worked, played and planned for them to have all he could give, love, laughter, joy, values and traditions. It is that man that we have come to say goodbye to. A man who will never be forgotten, a son, husband, father, granddad and great-granddad and friend.

Robert was the first child of John (always known as Jack) and Eileen and he was a loving son who honoured and respected his parents, their values and traditions. Bob shared his early life with his parents and his siblings, John and Vivienne. Their home life was typical for the time and they were a protestant family living in a Catholic dominated society. Jack and Eileen raised their children with strong family values, love and support. There were obviously Edwardian and Victorian influences in their parenting style and home life was strict. Jack was very much the head of the household. Honesty, integrity, respect and family togetherness were important life lessons the Kerr children learned. They knew they were loved and they each shared a uniquely personal relationship with each other. Sadly brother John (also known as Jake) predeceased Bob in the early 2000’s. Vivienne is retired and lives in Dublin. Gladly she and Bob were able to visit a few years ago when Bob and Marlene went back to visit Bob’s youthful haunts. Due to distance and circumstance, Vivienne is unable to join us here today in celebrating her brother’s life but we know that she too is reflecting on her own personal memories of their life together as family. Naturally we extend our deepest sympathies to her in this sad time.

Bob, John and Vivienne were raised in a home that had a housekeeper and nanny. Their father Jack was in banking and Eileen of course was a stay at home Mom which was only natural for the times. Jack was manager of the Wicklow Bank and by the time Bob was in his teens, the family moved, due to Jack’s promotion, to Dublin. If Jack was strict he was also fair and Eileen was a warm and caring woman, always beautifully dressed. There were wonderful family holidays, often on the Isle of Man. They took a steamship trip to the island and enjoyed the quiet and scenery that the Isle of Man is famous for. There were of course, the traditional Sunday dinners of roast beef and all the fixings and quiet times spent together as a family. Although Jack’s job guaranteed he and his family a certain position in the community, their being Protestants always left them feeling they must be aware of the religious differences wherever they lived. One must say of course, that family life for the Kerr family was good, wholesome and happy for all concerned. Jack and Eileen had every reason to be proud of their accomplishments as parents for all three of their children were honourable, hardworking and caring people of family.

When World War II broke out, Jack’s decree was that his children would remain neutral, like the rest of Southern Ireland, in his mind it was England’s war so none of the Kerr children were involved in the war efforts or military. That is not to say that the war didn’t affect them for it had far reaching effects throughout the world. Even just the food shortages would have touched Irish families. The entire British economy was affected as well. By the mid fifties, John and his wife Abbie left for Canada to build a life here where economically there was more opportunity.

As a young lad, Bob had a passion, one that would stay with him throughout his life - hockey - and he often played on the international level. He frequently traveled to England for games and he was a solid team member, well liked by the fans and team mates as well. It was on one of these trips to England for Hockey that Bob would meet a young woman who would change his life. He met another Eileen, this one also a mother and Eileen was a war widow with a young daughter, Ann. The details of their first meeting is now a distant memory, but soon Bob and Eileen agreed to marry. Eileen’s poise and charm and being a young widow all served to endear her to Bob’s social circle in Dublin. Everyone it seemed was drawn to her. Bob took little Ann who was about 6 or 7 into his life and heart wholly and they were a family of 3. Eileen and Bob were to share the blessing of more children, a son Paul and daughter Valerie. Today Valerie is unable to be here but again we know that she too is reflecting on her own memories of a caring and giving father. Gladly Paul and his wife Glynis are here to celebrate a man they both love dearly and unconditionally.

Bob was like his father, strict but caring. He was a Dad who led by example, a wonderful role model for life. A dad who was generous with his time, was understanding and supportive. A dad who never raised his voice but a Dad who raised his children. All three of them with the same strong traditional values handed down by his parents and all the generations before. Bob was not a father who gave advice. Instead he gave information, answered questions, was a sounding board and he was trusting - knowing that his children could trust their decisions because they were made upon solid ground, solid information and often proper study and research.

Today there are countless cherished memories for Bob’s children to reflect on with love, gratitude and respect such as Dad taking everyone on wonderful family holidays to places like Donegal and small fishing villages where he and Paul could indulge in the joy of fishing both rivers, streams and deep sea. Picnics on the coast on Sundays, looking out across the sea, Paul and Bob shared times making their own lead weights out in the garage. Bob encouraging his girls in their dreams of becoming nurses, and women of courage and consequence. From Sunday dinners to special occasions to restoring an old derelict home in England with lots of TLC and dedication, Bob made memories for his family, for his children that are truly significant and even influential to them becoming who they are today. Thanks Dad seems so simple a thing to say for all of that but for Bob it’s all he would want.

Sadly Bob and Eileen’s marriage was not as lasting as they both had hoped it would be and they separated in the late 60’s and divorced in the early 70’s. Gladly they have been able to have a continued presence in each others lives, Bob visited Eileen when back home in England a while ago. The loss of his family must have been devastating to Bob. He was a private man known to keep his own council. He continued on, making a life for himself and staying in touch with his children as much as possible. Bob took a job in Jamaica for he loved the tropics. He was a Quantity Surveyor – the financial man or money man whose job it was to oversee projects and construction. He worked for the government seeing to it that jobs came in on time and on budget. To say the least, Bob was very good at his job. He was professional, efficient, effective, positive and productive which of course garnered Robert – as he was known at work – great respect and loyalty from all he came in contact with.

They say that when one door closes in our lives somewhere, someone opens a window and for Bob Kerr that was certainly true. As the new kid in Jamaican social circles, Bob was to be invited to his boss’s home for dinner - something done for all the new arrivals and it was here that he would meet people who would become friends or acquaintances, business associates, but he also met a lovely young and independent woman – a nurse – who would change his life forever. He met Marlene, a lady of spirit and adventure; a lady who wasn’t all that impressed with him at first meeting but a lady who would impress him so favorably that he made a special trip to her hospital the next day to speak with her again. Now that impressed her. They began a friendship that became a romance and then a proposal and finally a marriage. Marlene was a beautiful June bride and on June 24, 1972 she and Bob exchanged hearts and promises and those promises have been lovingly and loyally kept for the past 36 years. Thirty-six years of balance, love, friendship, acceptance, adventure, plans, hopes and dreams. Of course there have been challenges too, and a few fears and losses but over all their time together has been awesome. They both worked to make their Jamaica into a prosperous, successful modern nation with the infrastructure that would encourage settlement, success and investment in this little nation. They were successful - Bob of course worked tirelessly on the various contracting projects that the government saw as necessary and progressive. Marlene, from her position as assistant matron of the hospital, helped bring in modern, efficient and capable health care to the citizens of Jamaica. Each was significant, influential and successful in their jobs and endeavors. In between all the hard work was a time of joyful togetherness. Weekends saw them traveling about with friends, reuniting with family, even several trips to the U.S. and Europe.. It seemed that things just couldn’t get better. Sadly they were to face a new government whose policies and vision for the future were somewhat skewed from the forward looking commitments of the people who had brought their beloved Jamaica so far. Everyone was told – if you don’t like it – leave. If you stayed you know you would be watching all your had work and commitment being destroyed. Marlene’s parents left the home they loved and before long so did Bob and Marlene. They were to begin a new adventure in Canada - a tough one it turned out. But they did it together. The promised job in Niagara Falls which was not what it had been portrayed, led on to Prince Albert in the then Department of Northern Saskatchewan and Saskatoon only to have that job cut due to a shaky provincial economy. Now, no jobs, two mortgages and at best a bleak future, Marlene an eminently qualified nurse and administrator, ended up working for $3.00 per hour as a nurses aide yet they were still together …. In the end THAT’s what counts.

Finally the job in Calgary as contract Administrator for the LRT. At last, a new place and home to love, Bob began in May of 1982 and stayed with the LRT until his retirement in 1993. Here he made many friends and some, like Tom have passed on, but each friendship was valued and appreciated and fondly remembered. To all those friends – Thank you so much! You have given the priceless gift of understanding, acceptance and you would have found a treasure in Bob, a man of many passions.

Those years of transition were tough and sometimes frightening but Bob and Marlene never gave up or gave in. Together they kept going forward, daring to dream, courageous and committed and they were not without help. John, Bob’s beloved brother, sponsored them, encouraging them to stay the course, showing that family does NOT need to be together always to BE family to one another.

Bob and Marlene have shared so much through the years, certainly a closeness and friendship few couples are ever blessed to achieve and they have shared their families and extended families, joys, laughter, dreams, hopes and adventure. Travel was a shared passion right from the start. In their quest to live their lives as fully and happily as possible, they have packed up and gone in search of new horizons and experiences, met new people, tried vastly different foods. They have in fact celebrated their lives together with a shared sense of enthusiasm and inquisitiveness. Hawaii, Germany, France, Sweden, Canada, England, Ireland, Dominican Republic are some of the places they have chosen to share their passion for life, each other and adventure. Gladly family have often been part of these glorious days and excursions and once again we know there are priceless memories held dear today of those times together.

Bob was a caring, kind and proud father. So often Paul was introduced as My Son the Fire Officer and he was proud of Valerie and Ann both and the difference they made in others lives as nurses and caregivers. Although Bob was from the generation that didn’t often say I love you in so many words, he was a man who showed it. Paul said you KNEW you were loved and appreciated and important. Glynis too knew how loved she was and how important an individual she was in Bob’s life. A daughter-in-law yes, but truly a daughter and a very special friend. Bob was blessed to be a Granddad as well. Four wonderfully unique and intelligent children were fortunate to have Bob as their Granddad and personal cheerleader. Paul and Glynis’ sons James and Andrew have been happily raised knowing that their Granddad saw them as truly awesome people. He was as proud of them as he could be and he was over the moon that James shared an interest in hockey and Andrew in the construction trades. He was fully supportive of both boys. Proud of course of James being in the British Royal Navy, giving his nation his time and commitment and when James left the navy Bob was to be proud of his new achievements as well. Valerie too gave Granddad two wonderful grandchildren, Adam and Louise. . Bob was also a great-grandfather to James’ girls, Anya, Ellie and Abby. Granddad in Canada as the girls called him, was special to them in his own way as well. He learned about Anya’s birth while on holiday with Marlene, Paul and Glynis in a market in the French Alps. Dad, Granddad, Great-Granddad - Bob was special, beloved, significant and valued beyond words in each role.

As you know, Bob loved many things. Two of his greatest passions were his garden and music – John McDermott was one of his favourites and Paul has chosen the song “The Old Man” by John McDermott in tribute to his father today.

A very good role model for every father, very caring, supportive, unquestioning, a lovely man, cared about people, a friend, a man who loved children and dogs, quiet and professional and a man of deeply private spiritualism. A good person in thought and deed. A man who lived by his own personal code and standards. A good son, a loving husband, a beloved father, grandfather and great-grandfather, a gardener who gave joy with the colours and blossoms in his garden, a friend who taught others the value of giving and friendship. A Man to look up to a man we celebrate today, who earned love and respect simply by giving it to others. Robert Adams Kerr’s life and journey WERE significant and will be long remembered.

Join in the Lord’s Prayer

There is one most important family member who is not able to speak to us here today, Tycho – Bob’s trusted and loyal companion friend and confidente – a rescued Collie Cross who, during Bob’s illness, gave focus, purpose and unconditional love and acceptance. Due to circumstances, he is in Edmonton with his other family – some of whom are here today. Bob would be the first to say thank you to Tycho for all that they have shared throughout the years – so Tycho from Bob, Thank you! See you again one day my friend.

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Paul’s tribute to his Dad

Thank you Bonnie for the wonderful word picture you have drawn of my father and his passage through life.

I would like to clear up one small matter. You heard of Dad’s prowess in the world of hockey, but what we failed to make clear was the fact that this was field hockey, not ice hockey.

To the best of my knowledge Dad’s ability on ice was, like mine, wholly concerned with trying to remain upright, never mind chasing a puck!!

When I was collecting my thoughts to write this tribute, I realized that Dad’s life was like a two volume book, the first, which coincidentally also occupied approximately half his life span, dealt with his life in Europe, with the detour to the Indian Ocean.

Volume two, occupying the second half of his life span, centered on the “Americas” – Jamaica and Canada to be precise.

I would like to take a few moments to scan the pages of the first volume, and perhaps colour in some of those pictures drawn by Bonnie.

An integral part of Dublin life was the Sunday family outing. In the summer months this was usually a picnic at the beach, or at other times a fishing trip to more rocky shores, where the picnic was less elaborate. Whatever the outing however, a hot cup of tea was essential. Not for Dad, however, the pre-brewed vacuum flask ‘cuppa’ – tea had to be freshly made.

At this point enter the ’volcano’ – a fearsome piece of apparatus consisting of a metal flask holding the water, which was placed inside an outer container, leaving a space between the two which was crammed with rolled up newspaper and set alight, producing enough heat to boil the water – that was the theory anyway!

Such were the vagaries of the apparatus that I grew up thinking that he spoke to in Gaelic in order to make it work correctly, only to realize many years later that Dad was in fact conversing in basic Anglo Saxon!

The important lessons I learnt from those episodes were not how to speak Anglo Saxon, but the virtues of patience and perseverance, both of which Dad held in abundance.

Several years later, when we were living in Mauritius, we were hit by a particularly violent cyclone. At the height of the first cycle of the storm, the house began to flood. This was problematic in itself as the house floor was about two feet higher than the garden, but due to the natural slope of the land, the staff quarters, about 80 feet away, were about two feet lower than the garden.

Putting others before self, Dad tied a rope to the verandah railings and set out through the fast moving flood-water and 120mph wind and rain to the staff quarters. Eventually a lifeline was secured and the staff and their families were able to make their way to the relative safety of the main house.

The episode almost ended in tragedy when, on one of the trips between the two buildings, a large branch broke free from a lychee tree which stood along the rescue route, narrowly missing Dad!

After the storm passed, we found a sheet of corrugated roofing tin so deeply embedded in the same tree that it was impossible to pull it out and it had to be cut away.

In the following weeks, I accompanied Dad as often as possible on his tour of the island, witnessing the damage caused by the storm.

He taught me many life lessons during that episode, merely by exposing me to the realities of life and nature.

The anecdotes could go on, each illustrating an aspect of his character.

There is one trait, however, that I find impossible to illustrate by way of a story.

His wit and wonderful sense of humour were ever present, the turn of phrase, the quick retort, were commonplace. Sometimes admittedly the wit was so dry as to seemingly cause offence, but no offence was ever intended.

Dad was there for all the childhood landmarks – learning to swim, ride a bike, first day at school, the tooth fairy.

Unfortunately we missed out on a lot of the early adult stuff –learning to drive and to drink (but not at the same time!), but I do recall he tried to cure my smoking habit by giving me a very large cigar to smoke – not in an aggressive “I’m going to sit here and make you smoke this till you’re sick” way, but in a friendly “let’s smoke a cigar together” way. I was about 15 at the time and it took another 25 year for the lesson to take effect! Not one of his successes, but then again, he continued to smoke for about another 20 years, too!

Dad was not perfect by any means, but he had a set of standards in which he believed and tried to live to. Overall I believe these standards were pretty good and they have given me a good foundation on which to live my own life.

Thank you, Dad.

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