Ralph Harold Davis

Ralph Davis passed away peacefully and unexpectedly in his sleep on October 29th. He was a chemical engineer, business owner, rugby player, animal lover, triathlete, historian, and dedicated volunteer. He was also a loved son, brother, husband, father, uncle, cousin, stepfather, son-in-law, grandfather, father-in-law, brother-in-law, and friend to many. He studied science at Acadia University and then Chemical Engineering at NS Technical College (now part of Dalhousie University).

During the summers before becoming an engineer, Ralph worked on an oil tanker running to Venezuela, a gypsum boat travelling the Saint Lawrence seaway, in petroleum refineries in Montreal, on a pipeline in Alberta, and as a boatman for a country club. A revolution in Venezuela once delayed their debarking in Maracaibo by several days and Ralph recalled making scrambled eggs to appease the armed soldiers who boarded the tanker. Another revolution, in Uganda, thwarted his plan to volunteer as an engineer in a CUSO exchange program there, and he pivoted to fisheries research, fish processing, fiberglass fabrication, and, later, running a typesetting business.

Uninterested in conformity, he did whatever made sense to him. He quit his university football team mid-season to take up scuba-diving and ballet. After ending 30 years of heavy smoking, he had so much energy he took up triathlons, racing in hundreds of swim/bike/run races - which he called “social events for hyperactive people”. He often raced in sandals (except in one of his nine NYC triathlons, when he misplaced his Tevas and just went barefoot). Ralph liked to start slowly at the beginning of races, sometimes just walking while the throng surged ahead of him. Then he steadily ‘picked people off’ as the race went on. He was athletically gifted, and his stack of provincial swimming records, medals, trophies and awards fills a large box, but he would always say “Stay cool. Don’t try to win”, and most often, “Keep moving”. A younger man in the neighbourhood dubbed him “A Quiet Legend”.

But larger than all of these achievements by far, was his solid, accepting, and delightful presence for those lucky enough to spend time with him. People often blossomed with his calm, perceptive attention.

He disliked chatty social events, insisting “I don’t do soft talk.” He was not sentimental. Upon being told someone had died, he would often respond emphatically “Yeah? And we’re next!” or “It’s okay to die. We all have to do it.”

Although he didn’t take life too seriously, he took playfulness seriously. He enjoyed seeing people happy, and had a genius for transforming groups of disgruntled people into groups of laughing people. His timing and mercurial air landed his quips unerringly. Once, at a restaurant, he approached a table full of women with one man, paused until they looked up at him, then, looking directly at the man, said “Do you need any help?” Passing a house being demolished, he would start to chuckle and call out “You got the wrong house!!” The workers would invariably have a flash of concern, then erupt into laughter. In an airport line, he would meet the eyes of a couple of bored or anxious travellers’ and admonish “No tickling”. Seeing older folks slowly maneuvering with walkers or canes, it was “No running on the stairs, children!” (These were also the first words he ever uttered to his stepson’s fiancée.) His positive disposition and way of spreading happiness inspired his mother to nickname him ‘Sunny Bubbles’.

Born during WWII to parents Orris (Fillmore) and Banny Davis in Yarmouth, Ralph remembered life during those years, lining up with his mother - ration stamps in hand - to get food, his father and other volunteers patrolling the coastline for German submarines, and air raid drills at home and school.

Ralph and his three brothers, Frank, Dick and Rod, had a vibrant life growing up in Yarmouth, where their ancestors had strong historical ties. They helped in their father’s wholesale business, taking inventory, making deliveries, and doing other chores. Yarmouth was a bustling town, with two ships a day coming from New York and Boston. Ralph remembered selling postcards printed by their father’s shop, R. H. Davis & Co, with his brother Dick, to the American tourists coming off the boats. Ralph always respected Dick for being canny enough to gain a competitive advantage over him by adding stamps to his postcards. They once met Colonel Sanders coming off one of these boats, in his white suit with black string tie and walking stick. He declined to purchase a postcard.

With his first wife, Cynthia, he had children Erik, Alexandra, and Christopher. He and Cynthia were dedicated volunteers in the Halifax swimming community, as well as generous hosts, philanthropists, and world travelers. Ralph’s favourite gathering was a four square game, played in a downstairs room - or, once, on a quadrant in Singapore while visiting his youngest son, Chris.

History fascinated Ralph, and he wrote a thorough account of his own family’s history, from England to Connecticut, then their flight to Shelburne and Brier Island after the American Revolution, through the shipping age, to twentieth century Yarmouth. The Davis Family of Connecticut, New York, Brier Island and Yarmouth, Nova Scotia 1690-1997 - a History and Genealogy, 1997, is filled with gripping accounts, including displacement, a marriage springing from a meeting in a Long Island prisoner of war camp, a widow and mother of six defending her land title by means of a remarkable 300 km walk from Brier Island to plead her case in Halifax, and - inspired by a dream - a daring rescue from a shipwreck, to mention a few.

Ralph painted, sketched, sewed, carved wood, and invented excellent gadgets out of household objects to serve as holders, fasteners, carriers or protectors. He was a central member in the Unitarian Church for many years before he decided he had ‘graduated’. He helped refugees from Vietnam settle in Halifax, and volunteered as an official for swim meets and lifeguard competitions. He donated blood over 35 times, and received a donor certification from the NS Lieutenant Governor for this.

Always an animal lover, as a child Ralph had a little black spaniel called Nipper (whom apparently their letter carrier would have said was aptly named). Their neighbour’s horse, Dandy, lived in the family barn, and Ralph at age 7 or 8 would walk the horse to a field on his way to school every day, walking him home afterwards, an ‘unaccompanied minor’, leading a large draft horse through the streets of Yarmouth.

In addition to living with cats, dogs and horses, Ralph allowed himself to be stepped over by elephants, ate breakfast with orangutans, swam with dolphins, communed with camels, went head to head with Billy goats, and marvelled at seals and great blue herons on the North West Arm. It was his love of animals that led him to ask out his second wife, Cara, when he connected with her dog at a mailbox in the rain almost nine years ago. During their years with that dog, and their next dog, Tsetse, Ralph often wondered aloud “How do people live without a dog?” He had deep respect for animal awareness and said it was as though dogs could see “invisible clouds around our heads” helping them understand us. When he entered the barn to visit their retired police horse, Ralph would call out with his own horse whinny, and many of the horses would neigh back in response.

Ralph was predeceased by his parents, Orris (Fillmore) and Banny Davis, sister-in-law Peggy (Baker), his first wife, Cynthia (Fuller), his beloved son Chris, and his younger brothers Dick and Rod. He is survived by his second wife, Cara Fraser, his son Erik (Deanna Regan), daughter Al (Rob Chadwick), stepsons Jeremy and Graham Rutledge (Abby Kelly), his older brother Frank, daughter-in-law Trudy (Blowers), grandchildren Ian and Ralph Chadwick, Ella, Oliver and William Davis, step-granddaughters Grace, Eve, and Ella Wigmore, sister-in-law Loretta, nieces and nephews Loran (Kelly), Ruth Purdy (Steve), Sarah Sparke (Andrew), Jonathan, Mark (Chelsea), Charlotte, Meg Fuller (Matt Marseglia) and Lucy Fraser, parents-in-law Donald Fraser (Monica), Caroline Anderson (Ken), brother-in-law Glenn Fraser (Joyce Saunders), and numerous cousins, great nieces, great nephews and friends.

The family would like to extend special thanks to the barn community at Swell Equestrian where Ralph found such delight, to Dr. Andrew Cumming, Dr. Ken Rockwood and his team, the homecare workers and staff at Continuing Care Nova Scotia, and Julia Blunden of Find Your Voice Music Therapy, for improving Ralph’s quality of life over the past year, as well as to the medical and other staff at Parkland at the Gardens, who helped make his final weeks so happy.

A celebration of life for friends and family will be held at a future date.

In lieu of flowers, please feel free to donate blood to the Canadian blood services, or make a donation to a favourite charity.

Years ago, during a discussion about how difficult choosing an epitaph for oneself would be, Jeremy asked Ralph if he knew what he would choose. Without a second’s hesitation, Ralph declared “I was happy, until I died.”