I met Fred via e-mail soon after my Father died through Ancestry.com.  He wondered if I knew anything about his half sister, who he wanted very much to meet. It was pretty obvious that his father, was indeed my grandmother's brother.

Before I managed to find his half  sister,  I took my mother to Florida for a vacation in Naples, and lo and behold we realized that Fred and Anne lived close by in Bonita Springs.  That was the  first of several friendly lunches and long chats shared with them with them in the Naples area and then later gatherings in Conn.  

As Mother never took to computers she would often ask "Have you heard anything from Fred and Anne?"  and she often wondered about the miracle of reuniting with someone she had met only at  his christening all these many years later.  When I finally tracked down that half sister, and  we also got to meet them. One trip to Florida included meeting sister Ann and her husband, residents of Frisco , Colorado. Then  the string of coincidences only grew.  The Coloradans had know my cousin Grant, (my father's side of the family) long a photographer and proprietor of the camera store in Frisco, and had been frequent customers of his.

When Fred first contacted me, Mother said "don't answer that message, it's probably a fraud."  Thank goodness I did, for meeting Fred and Anne gave Mother something to be interested in and pulled her out of the depression she had fallen into at Father's death. We made numerous trips to Pennsylvania tracking down Herr family history and they are the best times I remember having with my Mother, visiting places from her youth, and her mother's and her great grandmothers and grandfathers  

To meet such a lively man, and his gracious wife made a huge difference in our lives and Fred enriched those final years enormously.  And as for me I will be forever grateful that Jim was able to be keep us connected after Mother passed.  I wold not have missed those Christmas visits for the world.

For Uncle Fred, we used to go fishing off the charter boats at Captree on Long Island. One of my favorite childhood memories with my Dad, and he was always there with us. Eating cold cooked chicken legs and wings and throwing the bones to the seagulls who would scarf them down.

My Dad would take us to his place when we were kids and I remember watching one of his kids' (Jimmy?) iguana pee on my brother in-law many years ago. It was like a fire hose with no nozzle to turn off. 

He and my Aunt Anne moved to Florida about the same time as my parents back in '00. They lived across the lake from each other so we could wave at them when we saw them outside.
As he aged, he always worked out and was still jacked while in his 70's.

Always pleasant and had a smile on his face when I'd come visit my parents and we'd go to the Chinese buffet with them.
He always crushed my hand when I shook it, but I never told him in order to not sound like a sissy :)

While I was never very close to him, he was an Uncle that I always considered close family despite the distance in our relationship and distance in where we lived. His loss is a gap that won't be filled, and shouldn't.

Dear Grandpa, 

When I was younger, I remember playing Uno with you. Your victory dances always made me smile. But you also taught me that whenever you lose, it meant that the game was rigged. So either way, you knew how to add a little fun to any card game. 

I remember when we would play poker and you would call me "Goo-goo" because I could never pay attention to the game. Even though you were frustrated at me, you still let me play (Although I think there were a few times where you were close to kicking me out of the game.) Eventually, I got (somewhat) better at paying attention and I learned how to play many different forms of poker from you. 

I remember the times when Peter and I were in your backyard and you let us go fishing in the small lake. You taught us how to cast a line, to reel it in slowly, and then to start all over when you reeled it in all the way. Whenever I went over to your house, I would always want to go out and cast a line out. 

I remember when you taught Peter and I how to play Pinochle. You were so serious about it that you basically scared everyone else away. Despite this, Peter and I continued to play that first set and you wiped the board with us. Slowly but surely, we got better at it (even though I would still try to play with a risky hand on occasion.) It soon became the number one thing we loved doing when we got to see you. On occasion, Grandma would begrudging play with us, but it always felt like something that you, Peter, and I shared between each other. 

All of these memories are precious to me. I hold them dear to my heart. All of the Pinochle games we played, the pounds of double stuffed Oreos we devoured, the gallons of ice cream we had, and the hours out on a fishing boat will not be forgotten. 


So many more memories and reasons to be thankful Fred was a part of our family.

Fred would come by every Sunday when he was dating Annie to have dinner with us, and when he whipped  the potatoes by hand, there wouldn't be a single lump.

If my mom did Jack LaLanne, so did Fred. If she knitted, he picked up a pair of needles also. 

He helped Dad with numerous projects

If anyone needed help-nailing on a roof or pouring concrete for a patio- he was there.

Before he went into the Union, Fred would repair Hoover Vacuums at our house, and he'd call me down to the basement to help him fix them.

He loved to play handball, to go to the racetrack, fishing off Captree, and listening to Dave Brubeck, which he felt was real music.

He always drove either a Chevy or Buick when he was young, switching to a Lincoln after he moved down to Florida.

He hung out with my brother Artie and my cousin George.

He encouraged me to go on the Stratosphere in Vegas, insisting it would be fine. That's another 10 years of my life gone. 

One final thing:  Fran and I are so grateful he was able to get Bobby into Local 25 of the Electrician's union, where he's been for the past 22 years.

Fred was a big man, and as so many others have said, he'll be missed.

Grandpa,

Thank you for being my very first patient. Though my working diagnosis at the time was “your eyes don’t get enough sleep at night, so your eyes are closing themselves during the day” was a bit off the mark, you always supported me and genuinely valued what I had to say. 

Thank you for being a testament to the fact that change does not happen over night, but it is a commitment you have to make every day.  

Thank you for making us all sore losers and even sorer winners. Always starting by playing down your ability with a “Yahtzee? I don’t think I remember how to play this one,” and then you would easily take the first round. We did not need to tally the scores to know who one, but we still did. “Oh, did I win that one?” you would say from an expressionless face with wrap around sunglasses and a hat that had seen better days. Then like clockwork you would say, “Well, you know what they say, the blind chicken gets a kernel of corn once in a while” as a wry smile stretched across your face. But the smile was just a herald for the victory dance that was soon to come as if it was bubbling up from your core. And of course a victory dance is not complete if there isn’t whistling to accompany it. And it never failed to make us laugh and be more determined to win the next game. 

Thank you for not being afraid to tell us you loved us and that you were proud of us whether we were at the airport or just parting ways for the evening.

I am still grappling with the fact that I won’t get to see you in May when I walk across that stage, a stage that your support and hard-work helped put me on. But I take comfort in the fact that I know you will be walking along with me, doing a modified victory dance, because like you said, you wouldn’t miss it for the world. 

Love,

Peter


I miss u grandpa I had a great time with you in Florida I miss you so much I wish you where still here all of us will remember you till the end of time I remember when we saw jaws went fishing and went roller skating and went to your favorite ice cream store I will hold you close to my heart we all love you and miss you we will remember you ❤❤😭😭

Uncle Fred taught me the art of a firm hand shake. He would crush my hand and pretty much drop me to my knees. Oh yeah.. I was about four or five years old when he started doing this. As I got older, naturally my hands got bigger and I was able to "fight back." I'd shake hands with Uncle Fred and squeeze as hard as I could, which made him laugh. Now I'm 40 years old and I've been a union construction worker for more than half of my life. I greet everyone I meet with a "Uncle Fred" handshake. Much to the dismay of one particular guy who dropped to one knee in agony when I shook his hand. Apparently this dummy had recently broken several bones in his hand due to a motorcycle accident and decided to remove his cast a few weeks early. Unbeknownst to me, I think he had to get the bones reset and a new cast put on. Whoops. 



Fred was my brother-in-law. We worked together for a long time. When we were in Arizona, I used to call home, and then Fred would call while I was beside him. Fred would talk to Annie, and he could hear the boys in the background, saying, "I want my daddy!" And I could see tears welling in Fred's eyes. He got all choked up.

He was a real fun guy. Back in the day, he would take us to the beach. He'd bury me in the sand up to my neck, and then he and Annie would pack up the blankets and walk toward the car as if they were going to leave me there. He'd take us to the movies, and of everything that was playing, he chose Psycho. I couldn't shower without the shower curtain open for a month. And when we went to Coney Island, he insisted I go on the Cyclone with him. I didn't want to, but he said it would be okay, nothing to worry about. Went up, came down, and after the final drop, he wanted to go on again. Um.. no. 

He really was a wonderful man. When I was in junior high, I came home with black and blue marks on my arm from being bullied. The next day, I got called to the principal's office with the rotten kid who'd been picking on me. Who was sitting there but my mother and Fred. In front of the principal, Fred said, "If this happens again, all his brothers are going to come up here with me." This shook up the kid, and while we were walking back to the class, he asked, "Was that your father?" Years later, when I spoke of this with Fred, he said, "He never bothered you again, did he?" And of course, he hadn't. Fred was a big man you didn't want to mess with, but he would give you the shirt off his back.

Between Fred, me, and my brother Artie, we had a great time together. They're both gone now, and I'll miss them every day.

We moved to NJ several years ago and when we did, we started the Christmas pajama tradition.  Dad and mom always came for Christmas, so they had to join in. I told dad to put his pjs on, he said NO!  I’m not doing that. Needless to say, I told him get upstairs and put them on. He told me that this is elderly  abuse. 😀 thanks dad for putting the pjs on and joining in. You made it so much more fun. We will miss you terribly. 

I’m going to miss playing monopoly with you, and your love for a good competitive game.
I miss you already.

I’m going to miss having  you over for the holidays and all the times you made us laugh. 

Fred,
Thank you for always making me feel like one of your own. And thank you for decorating Christmas cookies with me when no one else had the patience to! 
Love and miss you,
Monica

I wish I could have seen you one more time. I would give so much. There were shark teeth on the table today and I stopped to pick them up and look at each one. All I thought about was you. I thought about the times that we scoured the beach for the thiniest shark teeth, whatever we could find. The horseshoe crabs we found that you'd clean and put felt underneath the bottom so I could display them. The coral you'd find and glue together so that it read my name and my cousin's names too. The times we spent riding around in the golf cart to go fishing or just to go try and find some alligators. When we went to Las Vegas and rode the New York, New York roller coaster and you told me that there were no flips or barrel rolls. THERE WERE LOTS OF THEM! Me telling you I didn't want to go on the roller coasters at Buscu Gardens and you saying, "what're you a baby?!" Yes I was! What of it! And all of the roller coasters we rode after that, making those hilarious faces at the camera each and every time. The games of UNO and Sorry! we'd play, and how we'd all act nice until the winner would celebrate and rub it in everyone's face. The times we'd spend on Thanksgiving watching football games and talking about the Eagles Giants rivalry. Every year watching you dread walking down the stairs in the ridiculous Christmas pajamas mom bought every year, and how it brought all of us so much joy. You always wanted to know how life was, what I was doing, where I was living, and whether or not I was happy. I wish I could have seen you one more time. I miss you and love you Grandpa. We all do.

-J

I smile whenever I think about the countless hours I’ve spent playing games with Grandpa.

I think about playing Monopoly with him. We would play for hours. Games would last full days; I didn’t know how to play, but he didn’t care. 
I think about playing Sorry. I’d pull the Sorry card and set him back. “Sorry!” I’d say, and he’d respond, “You’re not sorry!”
I think about playing Uno. We’ve played too much hands to count. His victory dance is enough to make my eyes water from laughing too hard.
I think about playing pinochle. He taught me how to play and all I wanted to do was keep playing. I was so against learning how to play for so long because I thought it was too complicated. All I wish is that I learned how to play sooner.

I wish we could keep making these memories. But I’ll keep laughing and dancing as though I just won one of our games.
I miss you Grandpa. And I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me. 

One of my favorite memories of my dad is when my sons, Peter and Matthew , and I were walking on Venice beach with Dad to find fossilized sharks teeth.  A couple came upon us on the beach as we were searching and asked us.... how are you and your wife doing? Finding anything ? And priceless Dad didn’t miss a beat by saying “Thanks for the vote of confidence but I am not crazy she is my daughter!!!”. Dad, don’t know how we are going to do this without You! Love you always. Xoxo Denise

Dearest Grandpa-
     When I look back at my life. I can say I wish I had more time to get to now you.  The times we did spend together gave me memories that know I cherish diligently.  I recall a time when I was 15 and we went fishing with Uncle Jimmy, Dad, you and myself. You taught me to fish on a boat and tie a strong knot in Florida.  With open arm you always had, teaching and paving the way for us all. You to me are a true patriot and a well respected man. I miss you dearly. 

Fred was my husband for 59 years.  We had our ups and downs but the one thing I always knew is that he loved me unconditionally. He was very proud of his children and grandchildren. He appreciated all the things that went with being a grandfather. When they were with him he would spend sometimes hours playing games with them. He also taught most of them how to master the games of pinochle and poker. And even taught them how to win at all costs even if they had to cheat a little. I am forever thankful for the life we had together. I miss him already. 

When I think of Grandpa I think of playing cards. I think I was 8 when it was decided that I was going to learn how to play so we could play pinochle as much as humanly possible when we visited. Grandma and I would always team up because Grandpa would get me all riled up 😂. Until Liz came along and teamed up with him (you really never knew what to expect with those two on a team!). And if we ever took a break from pinochle it was for lots and lots of poker. I'd like to think my poker face is on POINT after all that.

Pretzels. Cleaning the glass table after dinner. Uno when everyone was around, and yatzee! His huge hands holding the tiniest dogs. Thanksgiving every year. His 5pm work outs. The taste tests of the cookies. The beach when anyone came to visit.. the coral sculpture of my name. My name... I chose to change my last name for a variety of reasons... I chose Herr because of my deep connection with this side of the family... But I also felt like there is such strength behind this last name because of my outlook on him. I remember being a small child and feeling like if anyone was ever mean to me that my grandpa could beat them up and have my back... And every time (and I mean every time) we hugged before I left to go back to Fort Lauderdale he told me to keep working hard in school - to stay in school and that that was the most important thing. And that he was proud of me. ❤️

To end on a humorous note - Sometimes when I sneeze I laugh because I promise you we sneezed at the same level of loud and obnoxious, but he would always yell SHUT UP across the house after I sneezed instead of saying bless you 😂

How do we even begin to explain  the passing of a loved one and the emotions we each as individuals  have to face.This kind compassionate  man has loved and  devoted his life to his family,friends and work.I am blessed  to have had the honor of calling my self his daughter in law.They say time stands still for nothing  and no one, but Father time can not take our sweet loving memories. The one particular  memory that sticks with me is my visit some years back while visiting  my mother and father in law in Florida. While sitting in a restaurant  he amazed  me by tying  a cherry stem  in a knot with nothing but his tongue. WOW!!! I thought that is something  else. I will never forget  that.i say let father time carry on and settle  our heavy hearts and dry our tears because  I know he will live on forever  in our hearts and souls.I will miss you deeply and for every tear i cry let that be a memory  of pure joy.


My dear brother Fred was a generous guy, exceptionally strong, and a dedicated husband and father. He was a person who took my brother Bob under his wing teaching him a trade and standing by him through thick and thin. A man who was like a surrogate dad to me taking me to the beach, fishing and even coming to my school one day persuading a bully to never bother me again. I shared this with the people taking care of him as I wanted them to not only see a disabled man lying in bed but a person they could look up to, a best friend, a family man...
Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, so loved, so missed, so very dear.

Fred was an amazing brother-in-law.  He and Bob were both in Local 12, and Bob always said Fred was one of the best mechanics he'd ever worked with. Fred taught him so much.

Fred and Anne were the ones who found Cedar Creek in Bonita Springs. They recommended it so highly, we bought a lot there, sight unseen, and for the next eighteen years lived across the lake from them.

Back when we first moved down to Florida, we learned the Union wouldn't continue my medical coverage because Bob had been working a government job part of the relevant time. Fred offered to pay for my coverage. I never took him up on his offer, but it was very kind of him, and Bob and I appreciated it very much.

We're going to miss him a great deal.

He loved his wife.
He loved his kids.
And he loved his grandkids the most. 
We miss him already. 
Les

 Our heart felt  sympathies! 
I have a lot of fond memories of uncle Freddie,  I am proud to call him my godfather. I am so happy  aunt Ann & Uncle Freddie, Leslie and Denice came to our wedding and shared our beautiful day with us.  I am so happy you had the chance to meet my beautiful wife, and I will cherish the memory of uncle Freddie. Rest in peace my dear friend and my Godfather!!!
Till we meet again!

Love 
Dean & Lisa  LeBrie 

OBITUARY

Frederick Dean Herr

13 October, 1938 – 22 September, 2019

Kraeer Funeral Home & Cremation Center

Show your support

Add a Memory

Share Obituary

Get Reminders

Services