Thomas Eugene Breit

Tom Breit, 72, passed away unexpectedly on March 15, leaving behind loving family and friends mourning the loss of an unforgettable man. But it is grief mixed with wonderful memories. Tom was the luckiest of men. He ended up with all the important things: career satisfaction, love, a multitude of friends, and even Julia Child’s cutting board, personally inscribed to him by his idol, the master chef.

Tom’s early life in and around Harrisburg, Penn., gave little clue of the many adventures his future would hold. His family was solidly all-American, rooted in the area due to their German heritage. Tom attended Catholic schools—yes, he was an altar boy—and majored in education at Bloomsburg State Teachers College. He also earned a master’s degree from Shippensburg State College in 1975. His teaching career was his proudest accomplishment. It was difficult and sometimes dangerous work. His specialization was at-risk students from disadvantaged backgrounds. He developed learning plans for each student and was always there, challenging, encouraging and opening up the wider world for them. He taught for 38 years, winning commendations for his excellent work. That was his calling in life—turning lives around and providing strength and encouragement. He made a difference.

But teaching was not Tom’s only world. There were his adventures with Dan Snyder. They were together for 49 years and during that time created a lifestyle that may best be described as “fabulous.” Their specialty was inviting a group of friends to a rented villa in the French countryside or an apartment in Venice, then regaling them with incredible food. Culture too, of course, but what everyone remembers most is the food.

His talents in the kitchen were all the more remarkable because he made it look so easy. He and Dan could put on a formal dinner for a couple of dozen friends and not break a sweat. And the next morning the fine china would be miraculously washed and back on the shelf. Mouths still water at the memory of those meals—the lobster, the local shrimp, the watermelon salad, the roast chicken always prepared a different way. Most famous of all was the couple’s New Year’s Brunch where Tom served the traditional Pennsylvania Dutch pork and sauerkraut followed by the strawberry pie that was such an important part of his childhood.

Tom had a talent for friendship. Dan was the instigator, the one in constant motion, while Tom was his anchor, the quiet one. But once he became comfortable with someone, it was like a switch was thrown. People remember his pithy comments that could disarm a tricky situation with a wicked sense of humor. Others recall evening strolls through the great cities of Europe, with Tom as an irreverent tour guide, sharing his observations and practical wisdom. He knew Paris particularly well, and while others in the party would go off to a church or museum, he was apt to head for an obscure marketplace, in search of the perfect mustard spoons he’d been longing for.

Tom’s talent for living well extended into the homes he shared with Dan. The couple renovated six homes, mostly in the Washington, D.C. area. It could be tough work; they never moved out during renovation but kept going through all the dust and inconvenience. Their “masterpiece” was a mid-century modern house designed by I. M. Pei in Washington’s Cleveland Park area. With the help of famed architect Hugh Newell Jacobsen they brought it back to life and it ended up the cover story in several magazines.

Still, one would have to say that Tom’s greatest accomplishment was his relationship with Dan. It was a 49-year love affair. They met at a bar in Pennsylvania, immediately fell in love and were together ever since. In 2018 at a celebration ostensibly billed as Dan’s 75th birthday they were married in a surprise ceremony performed by close friend Michael Ramah. “Dearly Beloved,” he began and the crowd went wild. Later the flower girl, Beneva Fruitville entertained in the living room. It’s times like this that Tom’s family and friends will always remember. He was the perfect host, the ideal husband, and the teacher so many of us wished we’d had when we were kids. Maybe we were the lucky ones, to have shared such a charmed life.

In addition to his husband, Dan Snyder, Tom is survived by his sister, Kathy Evans; his niece, Christine (Greg) Harhigh; his great-nephews, Derek (Ashlea) Harhigh and Pearce Harhigh (Karina Raycova), his great-niece, Alyssa Harhigh, and his great-great niece, Peyton Harhigh.