Hugh James Crockett

“Planting Seeds of Love”

“What if grass is greener on the other side,

Because it’s always raining there,

Where the ones who never fail to give,

Hardly have enough to spare

Where the people with the broadest smiles,

Have pillows filled with tears

And the bravest ones you’ve ever known,

Are crippled by their fears,

It’s filled with lonely people,

But they’re never seen alone,

Where those that lack real shelter,

Make you feel the most at home,

Maybe their grass looks greener,

Because they’ve painted on its hue,

Just remember from the other side,

Your grass looks greener too.

Author unknown

James and Lynda Crockett planted seeds of love when they started their lives together and their first son Hugh sprouted forth on Tuesday, November 14, 1950. They realized that they had to nourish and nurture these seeds in order for them to sprout and thrive. They worked hard and steadfastly to keep their grass – that is their lives green, strong and healthy. A second son Ken was soon added to their fold and their family was now complete. They started their life and family together in Port Arthur at a great time in history – The Fabulous Fifties. The fifties were a celebration of the end of and recovery from the war. They represented a new beginning, growing industries and jobs. The fifties were all about Howdy Doody, Roy Rogers, I Love Lucy and The Ed Sullivan Show. The ’57 Chevy was everyone’s dream car. In the fifties, doors were left unlocked, children actually respected their parents and we played 78 RPM records on the ‘record player’! Hugh grew up during these times when it wasn’t odd to have more than one best friend and children enjoyed watching Saturday morning cartoons (on a television that took three full minutes to warm up).

Welcome, I’m Nancy Reimer and I’m honoured to be with you today as we gather to remember Hugh James Crockett and to celebrate the life of a man whose story is an incredible collection of always doing his best, and who gave most of his adult life doing a good turn for somebody every day. This is a story of a man whose heart was as big as this room, and whose heart was filled with compassion for other people. It’s the story of work done, of love loved and of sufferings bravely suffered. We join our hearts together to support Hugh’s family: his wife Lorena, his children: Meagan Thompson and her husband Kevin, Jason and his wife Sarah, Joel Durksen and his wife Christina and Elyse Durksen and her wife Samantha. We’re here for Hugh’s grandchildren: Maryssa, Lebron, Wyatt, Reonah, Colton, Emmett and Lennon; for his brother Ken and his wife Melody as well as Hugh’s extended family of in-laws, and nieces and nephews.

On behalf of Hugh’s family, thank you for being here today. It is an important day when we stop to acknowledge the significance of a life lived and the difference Hugh made every day in his world. Whether Hugh touched your life personally or you came to support one of his family, your presence is a testament to the great influence that Hugh had in his world. Your support for his family on their journey of grief will honour his memory. It is at times like this, that nothing takes the place of friends. We are going to spend our time together walking through the memories of his experience, listening to stories, honouring his accomplishments and standing in awe at this remarkable and often times challenging life.

Today is Hugh’s day. He may not have been entirely comfortable with all the attention, however. Although he was happiest when surrounded by his family and close friends, he didn’t want to be the focus of attention. We need to make this his most special time, honouring his life, standing in awe at his heart, his tenacity, his generosity and his wonder. We will breathe together the sighs of sadness that he is gone and joyful whispers that he was a part of your life. We will hear some of the stories of his life, and be touched by words from his family and hear the music of his heart.

“A funeral is not a day in a lifetime. It is a lifetime in a day.”

Hugh and Ken grew up in Port Arthur. The children spent their growing years here living the carefree life style enjoyed by young boys. This is where their memories began and they blossomed into young adults. Hugh was definitely a product of his times. He was raised with solid old - fashioned values and traditions. These values and traditions were built into his very core. They were in his DNA passed down to him from his ancestors. Hugh embraced these values and traditions and they guided his path as he traveled through life.

Hugh was very athletic and like most boys growing up in the near north, he enjoyed playing many sports including of course, hockey and baseball to name a few. He and Ken were both very active and mischievous – activities that landed them in the emergency ward more often than not. There are many stories to be told but one that we can tell here would prove to be his destiny. Hugh’s father Jim was a lineman for Ontario Hydro. One day, little five year old Hugh got a hold of his father’s spurs, figured out how to get them on and work them and proceeded to hoist himself to the top of the hydro pole in front of their home. His poor mother Lynda was nearly paralyzed with fear seeing her little son up a hydro pole. Evidently, he safely lowered himself to the security of solid ground. You see, it was in his DNA, it was his destiny and life long desire to become a lineman just like Dad.

Hugh was always, even from his youth, determined, organized and with a plan. He usually saw his plan through to completion and true to one of his plans; Hugh fulfilled his destiny and pursued his own career with Ontario Hydro. Hugh was now a lineman himself, a job he loved and remained dedicated to his entire life. His time with the hydro brought him to many different cities. He took his grandfather’s advice however, to get the heck out of Thunder Bay but I don’t think his grandfather had Sudbury in mind as an alternative. But that is where he went.

Bruce Lee once said:

“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.”

Perhaps Hugh instinctively knew this for that is how he set about to live his life. He and Norma married in 1974 and soon added a daughter Meagan in 1976 and a son Jason followed in 1978. Their family was now complete. With his young family in tow, Hugh left the near north for Ajax. While living in Ajax, he gave his time and his courage to serve as a volunteer fire fighter. He was very proud of this service and rightly so. They then moved west to London and then to Ingersoll. But it was December of ’85 that brought this family their big adventure. They bravely left everything familiar and safe. They said goodbye to their friends and family to live for two incredible and memorable years in Pakistan. Hugh was working very hard and this opportunity offered adventure, education and all new experiences for him and his young family. Although during these couple of years they had help with the household chores, it was not a luxurious existence. Hydro was not reliable (even with a hydro man in the family). Also it gets very hot there. Air conditioning was not an option and many hot nights were spent sleeping on the roof. Their water supply lay in a tank on this same roof and if too much water was used at one time, the “well would run dry” and everyone would have to wait for it to slowly refill. Living in Pakistan gave them opportunities for travel they would not otherwise have had. Living there made it possible for them to travel to many exotic and fascinating places across Asia. What amazing opportunities it brought to this lineman from Port Arthur and his family. Their term in Pakistan was completed after two years and they returned to Ingersoll.

Time past and it was now the year 2000 - a new millennium with the promise of many new and exciting changes for the entire world. This new era would also bring many new and wonderful changes for Hugh. Lorena Durksen had walked into Hugh’s life and right into his heart. To say he was smitten would be an understatement. Lorena became his everything and completed his life. In November of 2003, they were married and started together, as one, on an incredible journey through life.

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another."……………….Thomas Merton

Much to Hugh’s delight, his family had instantly grown. He and Lorena had just doubled their reasons for regular family dinners. They didn’t need much of an excuse or a special occasion for a reason to have these get-togethers. Hugh loved his life on Marigold and together, he and Lorena were able to complete the renovations they dreamed of making to their busy home. They built a beautiful deck and the two spent time there just enjoying each other’s company – this precious ‘quality time’ we all seek to enjoy. Their home included a big backyard that Hugh and Lorena worked hard to transform to a sanctuary for all to enjoy. Three generations together having fun and tossing the ball around in this backyard playground (it was Hugh who got to retrieve the ball when it went over the fence and into the neighbours yard). Christmas (every Christmas) was special and memorable. Each year, everyone would anticipate this special time together as memories were made that would last a lifetime. The whole gang looked forward to Christmas morning and those great breakfasts together. You better be there bright and early though or you could miss out on some of the excitement. Hugh and Lorena established themselves in the neighbourhood making lasting friendships. They all enjoyed many get-togethers and porch parties with the street crew called ‘the Merigold 8’.

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Richard Bach

As busy as their family life was, they still found time to travel together. They were able to fulfill a life long dream and took an Alaskan Cruise. Summers also meant spending time with their siblings at the trailer and they were able to visit a couples’ resort just for the fun of it. With such a busy and fulfilling life, Hugh had earned some down time. His hard work earned him a little R. & R in front of the T.V. Only now he didn’t have to wait those long three minutes for the television to warm up. He could sit back in his chair using the remote and instantly be watching some of his favourite shows. Hugh loved his westerns. He loved to re-live the days of his youth watching the old favourites like Mash, Red Skelton and The Three Stooges. He would go back in time with his DVD’s watching his old hero John Wayne in action. If one of his favourite shows from his DVD collection came up on television, he would watch it again anyway, persevering through the commercial interruptions. Well this of course allowed him to take bathroom breaks or get a snack without missing any of the show.

……..now – in and around all of this traveling, partying and family times spent together, Lorena had a little something of her own going. I’m not sure if I should mention this here, you know, it’s a bit ‘wild’ and a little raucous. It involved something like a gang membership. Lorena is indeed part of the “W.W.W.B.” Yes it’s true. Lorena belongs to the “Weight Watchers’ Wild Bunch”. Yes I said ‘wild bunch’ This courageous little gal has strength and discipline I can only hope to have. She was not only a customer of weight watchers but she now is a much loved and successful employee of the company. I know this to be true as I’ve seen her there myself. I have nothing but admiration for her. The strength and courage that Lorena has demonstrated in the past will serve her well through this dark and challenging time and in the weeks and months to follow.

Even with such a busy lifestyle, Hugh found time to pursue his love of sports. He discovered the game of golf at some point in his life. It was one of the activities that allowed him to enjoy the beautiful summer days we have here in southern Ontario. Summers were so much shorter in Thunder Bay and Sudbury.

Arnold Palmer once said “I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: It’s called an eraser”.

Hugh not only played sports but also was very supportive of and involved with both his children’s and grandchildren’s activities. Watching them happy and succeeding was his delight. He loved to coach them all along and give helpful advice. He provided them all with tactful direction in their efforts. He might spot a flaw in their technique but instead of just pointing out the flaw, he would compliment their efforts and then say, “You might try this, or that”. He was very supportive and encouraging when Meagan was figure skating. He always offered her positive reinforcement and any criticism was constructive. Hugh was very involved with Jason’s hockey and spent many memorable hours playing with his son and coaching him along.

I asked them if he was strict and the quick answer was yes. But he was reasonable in his considerations and more than fare. He knew that in order to get respect, you must earn it through example and to be respectful yourself. And Hugh was deeply respected by all of his children and grandchildren. He taught them through example the importance of laughter and the ability to laugh at yourself. He led by example the importance of good strong morals and values with a strong belief system. He taught them to give 110% and that success would then be guaranteed. “We never fail when we try to do our duty we always fail when we neglect to do it………Robert Badon Powell. Hugh was supportive in all the kids’ endeavors but cautioned them about the challenges they may face. He told them “I’ve got your back”. You can’t ask for more than that.

I asked Hugh’s family “What brought Hugh joy?”

There were as expected many things but first out of everyone’s mouth was “Lorena”. She not only brought Hugh tremendous and unending joy but she brought him strength, courage and a reason to live. Lorena brought Hugh joy.

*His children – all the children and the grandchildren were his sheer delight and pleasure. Their endeavours and their successes brought tremendous joy to him and enriched his life. – Family brought Hugh joy.

*We already know that Hugh loved his career he so purposely chose. He loved everything about it and all the adventures that it brought to his life. He enjoyed the success that came to him.

His co-workers and colleagues brought Hugh joy.

*As detailed and particular as Hugh was in life, he was just as meticulous about his lawn. The secret of keeping it looking even and healthy he said is to cut the grass slowly.

The smell of freshly cut grass brought Hugh joy.

*Friends and quality leisure time were valuable to Hugh. Nothing went better with friends and leisure time than a bottle of good red wine. Friends and red wine brought Hugh joy.

Hugh was a lineman and he was good at what he did. It was a career that he loved. These facts proven by the forty-seven years he dedicated to his career – a distinguished and successful career. Hugh had earned many awards; he earned many “Lenny awards”. I’ll quote some fragments of one certificate in particular: He established himself as Ontario’s high voltage “guru”….his opinion and sage advice on all things transmission are sought from across the company and the industry”. He received the “Tommy Award”, the “President’s Award” as well as the “Frequent Flyer Award.” Hugh became Superintendent of Transmission Lines for Ontario. He had earned whatever rewards came along with this promotion. It’s the kind of job that requires organizational skills that Hugh possessed in spades, the ability to remain calm under pressure and take situations in your stride and the ability to plan ahead. Again, skills Hugh possessed in spades.

But life was about to throw Hugh a curve ball – one he was not expecting. In 2003, he was given an unexpected diagnosis; a challenge none of us are prepared to face.

Bruce Lee said: “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”

Hugh met the challenge and approached the problem as he had done all his life. He gave it a 110% and formulated a new plan. Together with Lorena by his side, they faced this challenge together. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply, gives you courage. Lao Tzu.

This time, it was Lorena and Hugh’s loving family that had his back. They were there to encourage and support him as he traveled along a new and unfamiliar path. Hugh endured the coming years with the strength and grace unique to this exceptional man. Good things were still happening during these trying times. Grandchildren started to arrive. He embraced the role loving the times he could spend with his grandchildren. The addition of each grandchild only added to his joy. He became known as “Pappa Q” (apparently Pappa Hugh sounds like Pappa Q to young ears). His wisdom and his values could now be passed to yet another generation of growing and inquisitive minds.

Hugh persevered the challenging years during this illness giving it is all – 110% effort. He wanted to be there for his beloved Lorena and his growing and loving family. He wanted to see this plan through but anyone who is a planner and organizer as was Hugh also knows they must have a plan “B”. Sadly the time came when Hugh realized he had to go to plan “B”. It is what he needed to do. No one liked the idea of plan “B” but this loving and devoted family realized that the time had come when they would have to let go of their loving husband, father and grandfather. He had taught them respect above all else and they knew they must respect his wishes. Just as Hugh had always said to them “Do what you want, you will anyway”, they would let go and allow him to do likewise. It was on Friday, April 29th that Hugh was able to peacefully let go of the life and the family he had held so dearly. He died knowing that he had left a legacy of strength, humour, devotion and love. Hugh’s influences will live on in the unending consequences that will flow from his happy life and wonderful character. You are now the caretakers of these memories, and his patient council and advise that has served you well in your life. It is you who carry the memories of his smile and laughter, the good times together, his kindness and his generosity.

Eulogy: Greg Towns

Hugh has set off on a new adventure. None of us are sure of what lies on the other side of death’s door, but if there is a lake to be fished, a golf course to be parred, a hydro pole to be climbed or a lawn to be cut, Hugh will answer the call. What a huge hole this larger than life man has left in this world. What a life history he has left for all to remember, to ponder and to learn valuable lessons from. But what remains are the memories of “the fine art of living life to the fullest” that he displayed for all to see. Be present for Hugh’s family. They will need you in the coming days, weeks and months. Listen to their stories or sit quietly with their loss. Let them know with a call or an email how Hugh impacted your life and how you will miss him. Carry on his good works by supporting the Kidney Foundation in his memory. You will now have the opportunity to share your own personal stories about Hugh as you gather together for a time of refreshments and fellowship at the Best Western Cairn Croft on Lundy’s Lane in Niagara Falls.

And so in closing…..

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”

The following are words to live by and were meaningful to Hugh and Lorena: “Live Well, Laugh Often & Love Much”. We’re going to give the last words to Hugh – his own unique words, “Pass the Nemo and Mitch”.

* * * * * * * * * *

CROCKETT, Hugh James- It is with broken hearts that we announce the peaceful passing of Hugh, surrounded by his family on Friday, April 29th, 2016 in his 66th year. Hugh endured debilitating illnesses during his life and persevered through it all with strength and grace and passed on his own terms just as he lived his life.

Hugh will always be loved and forever missed by his wife and best friend Lorena; his children Meagan Thompson (Kevin), Jason Crockett (Sarah), Joel Durksen (Christina), and Elyse Durksen (Samantha). Cherished Papa/Grandpa to Maryssa, Lebron, Wyatt, Reonah, Colton, Emmett and Lennon. Survived by his brother Ken Crockett (Melody). Much loved son-in-law to Jacob & Susie Neufeld and cherished brother-in-law to Vic & Kim Neufeld and Florrie Neufeld. He will be missed as well by his nieces and nephews.

Hugh had a long and distinguished career of forty-seven years with Hydro One, most recently as Superintendent of Transmission Lines for Ontario. He will be greatly missed there by his many friends, co-workers and business colleagues, and the loss of his knowledge and expertise will leave a void no one else can fill. His work ethic and dedication were admired by all who knew him, and there is no question his life's work has left a lasting impression on those he encountered and the entire hydro industry network.

Hugh will be lovingly remembered for his great strength, courage, humour and his love of a good bottle of red wine.

A profound thank you to Dr. E. Minkarious for his outstanding care and compassion, and a very special thanks to the NHS nurses and doctors of 3B.

The family will receive friends at the Hulse & English Funeral Home & Chapel, 75 Church Street in St. Catharines (905-684-6346) on Tuesday May 3rd, 2016 from 2:00pm- 4:00pm and 7:00pm- 9:00pm and on Wednesday May 4th from 11:am-1:00pm. A Celebration of Hugh's life will be held in the chapel Wednesday May 4th 2016 at 1:00pm. Immediately following please join us to continue the celebration and for refreshments at the Best Western Carin Croft 6400 Lundy's Lane in Niagara Falls.

As an expression of sympathy, in lieu of flowers, memorial donations can be made to The Kidney Foundation. Online tributes can be made at www.hulseandenglish.com