David Robert Bender

Dave Bender left this mortal life the afternoon of January 9th, during a very cold, snowy day—one he would have loved. He was born in St. Louis, Missouri to Abe and Viola Bender. He grew up in the City of St. Louis until the family moved to Florissant, Missouri, a county location that enabled him to spend happy hours roaming the shores of the Missouri river. He and his two great friends—Robert Larkin and Steve Feltner, along with his cousins Keith and Kevin Stone and Kraig Atkinson, engaged in many happy antics and adventures. He attended Hazelwood High School, was an active member of the Debate Team, and graduated in May 1969.

He started work for the Frisco Railroad as an electrician’s apprentice in the summer of 1969, a job that evolved into work for the Sante Fe, Missouri Pacific, Katy and finally the Union Pacific Railroad where he retired. He was a loyal member of the IBEW System Council 2 and served as the Financial Secretary of Local 942. He met Gloria Gatlin at a Hazelwood High School Debate Club Christmas party, the rest was history. They married in December 1972; they had much to debate over the years and were able to celebrate 52 anniversaries together. If they couldn’t agree on something, at least they could usually make each other laugh.

Dave had promised his mother-in-law (she insisted!) that when Gloria decided what she wanted to be when she grew up, he would make it so. While Gloria was a college drop-out, they met Jamie Rogers who not only convinced Gloria she too could be an industrial engineer, but she would first need a degree. A job at Texas Instruments, a degree from University of Texas at Arlington, and a job for the Santa Fe Railroad beckoned so they all three moved to Texas in 1979 and got an apartment together. It became study hall central, where Dave cooked, Jamie tutored, and several great industrial engineers were graduated. A family evolved, the household was established, and has provided 45+ years of radical hospitality.

Dave was a gourmand and a great cook, although he always denied his skills since he compared himself to his heroes, Julia Child, Jacques Pepin, and Martha Stewart. He was a consummate host; the Bender household became the place where family and friends gathered for most birthdays, holidays, and spontaneous celebrations in between. His Bender family tradition was to celebrate Thanksgiving BIG, and he continued the practice at the first November in Texas where Gloria’s college friends gathered. The Bender Family Thanksgiving – South was celebrated every year including 2024, with Dave there to ensure the feast was lovely.

Dave loved jazz. He was introduced to jazz in high school by Steve Feltner, Dave’s good friend from middle school. Steve took Dave home to meet his family—Elmer and Marlene, Steve’s parents, and Janet, Steve’s sister, and they became Dave’s adopted family. Elmer was a professional jazz saxophonist; Elmer taught Dave about jazz and Dave learned to love all the famous, great artists as well as listened for new artists. Dave and Steve would exchange music every year, attempting to persuade each other about the best new artists (note that Dave met Steve in the Debate Club too).

Dave loved all of his pets over the years. Initially, Dave preferred dogs: Kim, the Boxer; Charlie, the Schnauzer; Jeanie, the Australian Silky. But, when Dave and Gloria married he brought home two kittens from the Frisco shop—Merlin and Keridwyn. He loved these two as well for 20 years! In 1994, when Gloria insisted they get a dog for her birthday one year, they got Ranger, the first of a long line of Airedale Terriers. Abilene Rose, Dot-com, Boogie Woogie, Big Blue, Be-bop Baby, Queen B, and Teddy have all been wonderful managers of the Bender Household, providing hours of amusement and ensuring continual upgrade of home furnishings.

Dave loved his family. He came from a big extended family of 11 on his mother’s side, 9 on his father’s side, and he acquired several more when he married Gloria. He was preceded in death by his father Abe, and mother Viola, all of his aunts and uncles, especially his beloved Aunt Rene and Uncle Bill, his half-brother Kenny, his sister JoAnne Theves, his brothers-in-law Frank Theves, Denis Mehigan, Ken Goff, Gordon Tipton, and Lamar Pollock, as well as his cousin, Keith, his nephew, Michael Mehigan, and dear friend Robert Larkin. But happily he is survived by his sisters, Jane Goff, Judith Mehigan, Janet Tipton and Debbie Pollock, nephews Jason Mehigan, Justin Goff, and Nathan D’Angelo, sister-in-law, Cheryl Skokan Johnson; Brother-in-law, Mark Skokan; Sister-in-law, Jennifer Goff and his nieces Kathleen Mehigan-Peters, Kristen Hymer-Mehigan, and Lauren Skokan-Priest, his great nephews Eli and Cole Mehigan, Ben Goff and Ezra Priest and great nieces Evelyn Peters, Hannah and Sara Mehigan, and Bella Goff.

There will be a Celebration of Life for Dave on Saturday, February 15, 2025 at 2:30 pm at the Wellspring on Main, 201 West Main Street, Arlington TX 76010. In lieu of flowers, please make donations in Dave’s name to The Nature Conservancy (www.nature.org ) or Wellspring on Main (www.wellspringonmain.org ). Dave’s ashes will be interred in St. Louis, Missouri later in 2025.

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