Message #2

Dear Lolo,

I love you and still do. I love you for every second in my life. I love you more than the moon and back. Even though you can’t see my letter, it’s okay because it seems to me that you’re always next to me even though you are somewhere else. Thank you for giving me amazing memories. I love all of them but I love you more. You are all better now so I’m so happy! Miss you!!!

Hugs and Kisses,
Ava

If I think about it, I can still hear Dad’s voice saying all of our names or singing karaoke. I remember how happy Dad was whenever he spoke about the important things in life. Dad’s voice always sounded proud when speaking about his own kids. You could see how much he loved his grandchildren; Dad would never stop smiling when he talked about them.

Dad will be missed by so many people but it comforts me knowing that he is with Ninong Dennis now. Thank you, Dad, for sharing your love and kindness with everyone in our Sarmiento family.

Kuya Lito was a very caring and genuine person. I will miss him dearly.

Chato

Dad Natividad,

I’ve been thinking about a lot of different things since you died in January—different memories, different conversations we’ve had, different things I would tell you the next time I saw you. Some of the memories I have are pretty random. I remember one time at Tita Mel’s house, I think there was a family party, and the uncles were trying to connect a VCR to the television downstairs. I forgot what exactly they all wanted to watch but it was taking forever for all of them to set it up. On the side, you had asked me if I would be able to connect it a lot faster than all of them and I’m pretty sure I said “yes.” It was nice how you just knew. Other memories I have are mostly just topics of conversations we’ve had.  There was a time when you said I would be a good golf caddy, another time when you were telling me about full-day stock trading. We had also talked about Japan, but I think the ones that I liked the most were when you had complimented my singing or dancing.
 
I also just wanted to say “thank you” for all you’ve done. After living in Japan for so long, I can somewhat understand what it must have been like for you and Mom Natividad to start out in a new country—it was pretty scary for me to leave for Japan in 2007. Thank you also for being a great dad to Ate, Kuya, Ditse, and Sanse—there’s so much for me to admire and look up to. With Ate, we’ve shared countless karaoke times and she helped me gather my strength when I first left for Japan; she’s been a great person to talk to for advice. With a bunch of girl cousins, Kuya was a great example of a strong guy figure and someone I strive to be like. Since Ditse and I have both spent an extended amount of time outside of the States, it’s always nice sharing stories about our adventures. Finally, with Sanse, we’ve talked about Japan and she’s been someone I can look up to about teaching. So, I just want to say “thank you” for being brave and moving to a new world, and raising some amazing role models.

Joseph

I’m sure Dad is hitting away on the greens with Kuya Dennis. He’ll be standing tall on his own two feet, on that golf course in the sky, breathing in the endless horizon, waiting until the rest of us are finally done with our time down here hurrying through the crowds from place to place. It will be really good to see you again. Thanks for the memories, Dad! Maybe I’ll finally take you up on that golf invite on that day. 

Johnny

Mr. Natividad, 

I will always remember your nice and calm voice. Every time I would call the house, you would always be so nice when you answered. Most parents were annoyed when I called. I will always appreciate your hospitality, your kindness and showing me how much you love your family and what a parent does with their children’s friends.

May you Rest In Peace and enjoy the eternal joyful life with God. ❤️

Wala naman akong ganong memories kay Ka Lito kase hindi naman ganuon kaganda buhay namin nuon. Ang Ka Lito nagsariling sikap sa pagpapaaral nya, pinapahinto nga sya ng Amang dati eh! Ako na lang naghinto kase hindi naman ako ganuon kagaling sa pag-aaral at si Ka Lito kase malaki ang pangarap nya sa pamilya namin, gusto nya talagang maiahon ang buong pamilya namin sa hirap. Kung saan saan sya nagtrabaho para ipagpatuloy at makatapos ng pag-aaral nya sa kolehiyo.  Nuong una syang kumuha ng board exam walang review basta derecho kuha ng pagsusulit na agad, at nakamit naman nya ang inaasam nya na makapasa sa board exam. Napakabait na anak, kapatid, asawa at ama ni Ka Lito, matulungin sa kaibigan at sa
kapwa tao.

Zeny

One of my fondest memories of our Candlewick summer house is Dad wanting to please Michelle by giving her a mini roller coaster ride in our family Chevy Cozy Craft van. There was a dip in the one-lane road on the way to our Candlewick house. As Dad approached this part of the road, he’d look at his rearview mirror and call to Michelle in the back of the van in a special sing-songy way, “Ready, Baby?!” Hearing that she was, Dad would step hard on the accelerator so we’d go zooming over the dip and down the other side. We were all delighted by the short joy ride before making it to the house.

I remember stories Dad told me about growing up in the Philippines. He said that he used to massage raw egg in his hair to make it curly, that he caught frogs as a young boy to earn money for school fees, and that he liked to read the dictionary. I remember thinking he was crazy for reading a dictionary for fun!

When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I had an assignment to make an Aztec pyramid (probably for a Social Studies class). For some reason, instead of me doing the assignment myself, Dad was the one who sculpted the Aztec pyramid out of gray clay and delicately incised lines on its surface for decoration. It puzzles me why I didn’t make the Aztec pyramid myself given how artsy I am nowadays. But looking back, it was a dead giveaway that I had some help because Dad wrote the title of my project on the cardboard base in his beautiful calligraphy with my full name underneath—though I’ve never been called “Angela” in school. Anyway, I came across the clay pyramid (minus its cardboard base) last year when clearing out the Essex house. Seeing the Aztec pyramid brought back memories of Dad making it for me so I brought it back home with me to California as a keepsake.
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Dad was calm and patient. I remember the time when I crashed his car. I was 16 years old. Mom and Dad were out of town for a week…I believe in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for vacation—a big deal back then since vacations tended to be family road trips during the summer whenever Mom had medical conferences. Before they left, they had given me permission to drive Dad’s car to go to school. Unfortunately, on my very first day, I reversed Dad’s car out of the garage, down the long driveway, into the street, and then smack into our neighbor’s car parked on the street opposite our house. Our neighbor, Mr. Hilasek, drove a big pick-up truck so I have no idea how I didn’t see it at all in the rearview mirror. Anyway, I stopped the car and went outside to check the damage. Fortunately, Mr. Hilasek’s truck was perfectly fine. Dad’s car, however, had a big dent in the trunk. You could basically see the right angle indentation from the truck’s bumper imprinted in the trunk of Dad’s car! I quickly drove the car back into the garage and took Mom’s car to school (fortunately, with no incident). 

Nowadays, I could have easily called or texted Mom and Dad about my car crash. But that was not the case in the late 1980s. So I had basically a week of impending doom, wondering how Dad would react to the news that I crashed his car…into a PARKED car!!! I figured I’d get grounded for life, or at least for a month, and never be allowed to drive again. I remember that one of my male friends from high school had called me on the phone that week to ask me to his senior prom. I automatically turned him down because I was certain I’d be grounded once my parents came back home. He asked me why, so I told him that I had crashed Dad’s car. My friend tried to reassure me that things wouldn’t be so bad, afterall “it’s just a car…a Chevy, right?” I told him that Dad’s car was a Mercedes-Benz. He quickly backtracked and agreed that he should ask someone else to prom. 

So the day finally came when Dad and Mom came back from their vacation and I had to break the news that I crashed Dad’s car. Shortly after their arrival home, I took them to the garage to show them the damage. Much to my relief, Dad didn’t yell at me or show any anger. He calmly just said, “I’ll call the car insurance company on Monday.” I was not grounded or banned from driving and he never held it against me. I remember thinking back then, ‘Wow, if my child ever crashes my car, this is how I will react as well. I will be calm like Dad was with me and just say that I’ll call the car insurance company.’ 
_____________


As far as I know, I have always been called my middle name, Joy, by family and friends. So it always confused me whenever Dad would introduce me by my first name, Angela, later in life when I was an adult. I never questioned or corrected him when this happened. I just chatted with the people I was newly introduced to. For some reason, Dad wanted it known that I was his “junior” so I went along with it. 
_____________

In August/September 2004, Mom and Dad came to Carmel for two weeks to help me take care of Ian while David was on a research trip in Indonesia. Ian and I enjoyed spending time with them at the house and taking them sightseeing in the area. We went to Point Lobos and Monastery Beach in Carmel, the farmers’ market and Cannery Row in Monterey, and lastly, on a scenic drive to Big Sur. It was on this scenic drive that I learned something new about Dad.     

First off, the drive to Big Sur is stunningly gorgeous! It follows each twist and turn of Highway 1, with views of the rugged and picturesque California landscape on one side and sheer drop-offs to the Pacific Ocean on the other. I enjoy going on this scenic drive as a passenger, but not as the driver because I don’t like driving on curvy, winding roads. I, however, didn’t want Mom and Dad to miss out on going to Big Sur so I forced myself to do the drive. 

So off we went to Big Sur, with Dad in the front passenger seat and Mom and Ian in the back. All of my attention was focused intently on following the road ahead of me but I did notice over time that Dad’s upper body started leaning more and more towards the center of the car. So I asked him what he was doing. It turns out that Dad was afraid of heights! He didn’t feel comfortable being so close to the edge of the road with the sheer drop-offs to the Pacific Ocean below on the other side of the metal barricade. I felt bad not knowing this about Dad because it must have been torture for him! Had I known he was afraid of heights, he could have sat behind me in the back seat. Fortunately, on our drive back home, Dad was safely seated on the land-side so he didn’t need to lean in anymore. 
_____________



Several years ago, when looking through old family albums to find photos of Kuya to include in the memory book I was making for Tristan, I came to realize that Dad was the family photographer and scrapbooker when Ate and Kuya were babies. Dad had taken the photos, typed up captions, cut them out, and placed them under their corresponding photos. I got a kick out of reading some of the captions. Dad came up with some funny ones, like “Look at Mommy, still camera conscious tho she just gave birth to a handsome baby boy.” and “Mommy, mommy, please help. Release me from the heavy blanket wrapped around my body.” along with the subsequent caption “See, I told you mommy, I will fall down. Now what will I do but cry.”


I’m not a singer but whenever I visited Mom and Dad at Grand Living, I would sing karaoke with Dad since I knew how much he enjoyed music and singing. Inside the thick booklet of song options that comes with a Magic Sing, Dad kept a list of his own favorite songs. He had quite a number of favorites so he stapled the small sheets of paper together, each song and corresponding number neatly handwritten in pencil in small print. Some of his favorite songs that we sang together included “My Way”, “Annie’s Song”, “Blue Bayou”, “Amazing Grace”, “Dahil Sa Iyo”, and “Tears in Heaven.”
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My most cherished memories of Dad are from a trip to Croatia that Ian and I took with Mom and Dad during the summer of 2017. The four of us spent two weeks traveling around Croatia, with side trips to Kotor, Montenegro, and Mostar, Bosnia-Herzogovina. Dad and I paired up as travel buddies, while Ian paired up with Mom. As Dad and I walked around sightseeing, I noticed that he would periodically stop and look around to make sure Mom was OK. Dad explained that during group tours on their various travels around the world, Mom would often wander off away from the group or straggle behind. He was always worried that she would get separated from the group and then get lost, so he always kept an eye on her. I assured Dad that he didn’t have to worry about Mom during our trip together because I had already asked Ian to always stay with her. It was touching to see that despite being frail and forgetful, Dad was still always looking out for Mom. 

Another memory from our Croatia trip was that Dad LOVED eating vanilla ice cream! I remember that we sometimes ate ice cream when we were growing up, but I don’t recall Dad ever enjoying ice cream as much as he did during this trip. He enjoyed it so much that we started buying a tub of vanilla ice cream from the grocery store so we could eat it at our apartment rental every day.

My last memory from our Croatia trip was from the end of our trip. Earlier in the morning, we had taken a 3-hour bus ride from Zadar to Zagreb where we were going to spend the night in order to take our respective departing flights the following day. After settling in our apartment rental, the four of us played a few games of “Five Crowns”. I started to get restless, though, and wanted to go on a walk to reach my daily goal of 10,000 steps. I asked if anybody wanted to join me. Mom and Ian both said that they just wanted to relax at the apartment. Dad surprisingly said that he would like to join me. So off Dad and I went, walking around Zagreb’s “Upper Town.” I had brought my camera to take more photos of the tourist attractions we had seen just two weeks prior. As we went to the first site, I asked Dad if he remembered our visit from two weeks ago. Dad said that he didn’t so we walked to as many sites as we could. We also managed to explore a new place together, Strossmartre—a promenade with colorful murals and fixtures dangling above the street. There was a colorful bus photo prop at Strossmarte so I took a photo of Dad with it. He was wearing a dark pink Oxford shirt that day which contrasted nicely with the turquoise color of the photo prop. It’s one of my favorite photos of Dad because it reminds me of our special one-on-one time together in Croatia which I will always cherish.

I love you, Dad! 

My memories of Lolo span years and a patchwork of places. One of my first memories of him is when we went crabbing in Florida. He and Lola showed me how to put pieces of chicken in the traps to lure crabs and how to check whether any had gone for the bait. Sometimes, we’d pull up a trap and there was no crab and no chicken but Lolo reassured me that crabs were bound to get away sometimes. After all, we’d be eating crabs later that night so it was only fair that some would get away with a little food.

Lolo’s singing and dancing impressed me every time I went to Chicago. I remember him singing  “Besame Mucho” with Tia Mia and leading Sophia and Ava to music when they were small. Even during Lolo and Lola’s 50th wedding anniversary, they both drifted smoothly across the dance floor and made me wish I could dance like them.

Some of my last and fondest memories of Lolo are from our trip in Croatia getting ice cream. I was 17 then and still convinced that I had a sweet tooth. Lolo’s anticipation and delight at getting cone after cone of vanilla ice cream, however, made me slowly realize my sweet tooth couldn’t compare to his. 

Memories of my time with Lolo over the years blur together. Reconstructing these moments and many others took time and thought. Although individual moments are hazy, I’ll always remember Lolo’s thoughtfulness, gentle kindness, and most of all his smile as they recur in every memory I have of him.
	
I love you, Lolo!

I remember Mr. Natividad as a gentle soul with a smile that would light up a room.

Dear Remy,

When I returned on February 6th, I heard the news that Lito passed away. My heart feels so sad and at the same time, I feel relieved Lito went to Heaven. It is the best place; he will not suffer anymore.

I have known Remy & Lito Natividad for 16 years. They have traveled with Seaport and me for many exciting trips. They were always so cheerful and kind. When they were on the cruise, I can still imagine them dancing so happily, and enjoying many dinners at my home. Many many fond memories.

I also visited Lito many times. From my heart, I know he is with the Lord and having conversations with my husband.

Dear Lito, I miss you and I’m sure your whole family misses and loves you very much.

Love,
Wei Wei Ritzhaupt


I might not know you well but you are family. We love you and you are with our prayers.

Though it’s been quite some time since I last saw Tito Lito, I will always treasure his sweet and happy smile he shared with all, especially all of us Talman Avenue kids :) He was truly one of the kindest dads around and I know my Mom and Dad have always cherished the friendship of their Pareng Lito and Mareng Remy. I pray he is at peace with Dennis watching over you all now and forever. I hope you find comfort and support from all of us who hold your family dear in our hearts.

Love and peace,
Meemo


Dear Lito,

We will miss you. You were a good, likeable, and cheerful neighbor and a golf buddy of Celerino. We will never forget the good times we had in Evergreen Park and at parties.

May you rest in peace.


Dear Lito,

Your smile is champ. We will miss you, but keep praying for us. Till we meet again.

Our prayer and love,
Cielo & Hermy


Dear Lito,

We will miss you—your smile, your happy attitude. We will miss you at golf also. May God be with you.


Mareng Remy,

Pare Lito was a remarkable, amazing, and extraordinary person full of love and devotion not only to you, but also to his children and all of his friends. I will surely miss him and enjoyed his company not only when we played golf but in all of our outings. For all his goodness and love of God, he will surely be rewarded and God will have a special place for him in Heaven.

God Bless you and Family.


To Mare Remy & Family,

We feel very sad losing Pare in our life here on earth, but we will always cherish the wonderful memories we have shared with Pare and you. Having known Pare for many years, I am most impressed by his being such a calm, soft spoken, patient, and kind person. We will always remember and cherish the experiences and happy times we had in Florida. 

I will never forget the time we spent making the floral arrangements and banquet hall decorations for the luau wedding party of Josie’s daughter. I asked Pare and Jon to go outside to cut as many palm leaves and ferns by the roadside of your house to add to the floral arrangements. They came back with a lot of palm leaves and ferns and I told them that they needed to cut the palm leaves into heart shapes of 3 sizes and put them into the foam. Before starting, Pare asked me, “Mare, sample, sample” so I quickly made a floral arrangement for them to copy. Pare and Jon had to cut hundreds of palms leaves into heart shapes that they ran out of palm leaves and had to go outside again to gather some more. Pare was so patient as he quietly made the floral arrangements. He was quite a good florist.  

I will also never forget how Pare and you always helped us prepare formal dinner table settings during dinner parties in Florida. Again, Pare said, “Mare, sample, sample” so I showed him how I wanted the place settings. He always wanted to do things right so after he was done with the place settings, he would say “Mare, look at it. Is it OK?” I looked at the table settings and said in my hyper voice (I had been cooking all day so was feeling stressed), “Oh, Pare, you forgot the wine glasses!” So Pare got on a kitchen stool to get the wine glasses out of the cabinets and took them down one by one. After adding the wine glasses to the table setting, Pare once again asked me to look at the table settings. I told him in my increasingly hyper voice, “Oh Pare, the glasses have no ice yet!” Here I was making commands and Pare was patient throughout. He was the only male family friend who I felt comfortable enough with to show my hyper self. 

Pare Lito fulfilled the mission and purpose of his life as God’s instrument of love, compassion, and caring and made a big difference in the lives of others. He left this world better than he first found it. He is in Heaven now.

Remy,

Receive my heartfelt condolences over the passing of Lito!!! I’ll be offering a novena of Masses for the eternal repose of his soul. And I’ll be praying for you and the extended family!!!


My Compare Lito, 

I really admired your good friendship and company when we went to Candlewick Lake. I really enjoyed all of our fishing while riding in a boat. 

Lito, I will truly miss our golf games.





I remember my family visited Kuya Lito in Florida. He was such a good host and he danced so good. Goodbye, Kuya Lito. “Rest in Peace.” See you soon. We love you.

Mario, Susan & Family

This was during Lito’s last few months when we were in Florida. We visited him in the Diamond Ridge Rehab Center sometime in August 2019.

Reming had just left the facility when we arrived there. We kept Lito company that afternoon by talking. Upon seeing the old piano in the corner of the facility, we brought Lito over there. I played our song “Remember Me.” Surprisingly, Lito accompanied me by humming and moving his right hand with the beat. Lito loved music.

Auntie Myrna & Tito Virgil

It is a blessing to have known Kuya Lito. He was a kind and gentle soul, compassionate and always there to help. When I lived in Florida, Kuya Lito (together with Ate Reming) took the time to drive for almost 2 hours (4 hours round trip) just so I can get my SSS replacement card. This is just one of his many kind gestures that comes to mind. He was a blessing to his family and to everyone who knew him. Thanks so much, Kuya Lito! Eternal peace be with you!

Vicky


Dear Kuya Lito,

I know you are in a good place now, with Dennis, your parents, your Tata Seniong, and Oyie.
 
I will miss you! Until we meet again on the other side!

Love,
Gina

This page won’t be enough for all the memories we had with Angelito “Lito” Natividad. From the time we immigrated to the US and they moved to Florida, we’d been close to each other. We spent a lot of time together fishing, dancing, at family gatherings, etc. We’ll remember him with his sweet smile.

 💚💚💚 Uncle & Auntie


When I was at Florida with lola mom and Lolo dad we did Snap Chate. I hope lolo dad has all the Dungcin Donus in hevin.

I love you, lolo Dad.


I remember our trip down to Florida to see you and lola mom :)

When we were in Florida, we went to Lola Mom and Lolo Dad’s house. Lolo Dad gave me the drum sticks and I got to make some loud music on the drum set they had.

I remember the time we went to Florida and visited Lolo Dad and Lola Mom. We swam in their pool and ate the yummy food Lolo Dad cooked.

I have 2 images of Dad Natividad that will stay with me forever. 

“Dad Natividad, the mustache”
As a young kid living 2 houses down the block, I remember him as a young man with that infamous smile along with a thick black mustache. I would see that smile while leaning on his bar in the basement of his Talman house. I can remember going to his house to be with my cousins and we would make Jello or bake something. Dad would always be sitting quietly—smiling and letting us do our thing. We were over a lot but it never seemed to bother him—that ties in with what we all know about him: he never got upset or was even bothered that we were always around. 

“Dad Natividad, the golfer”
Back when they were living in Tally’s Corner, I can see Dad standing there in his polo shirt and his khaki slacks in the basement. There would be golf on the television and his portable putting green mat with auto return system laid out on the basement floor. He would always be practicing his swing. Of course, he would let us play with it—he was never afraid that we were going to break it. He would always make us feel at home. I can remember times even asking him to turn on his computer so we could play games or even at times he would let us play with his accounting calculator. 

Dad Natividad was a family man. We all loved him and are truly going to miss him. It was always “Mom & Dad Natividad”. 

When learning of his passing, I couldn’t help but find comfort in the image I had of Kuya Dennis waiting for him at the gates of Heaven. Once passing those gates, I can see BOTH Dad Natividad and Kuya Dennis smiling like they always did and then putting their arms around each other, walking side by side. We love you, Dad Natividad! Thank you for being you! 

May perpetual light shine upon him and may he Rest In Peace!

Lolo Dad was the kindest landlord a broke 20-year-old could ask for. I always did my best to pay on time but it was tough on Christine and me. He always gave us a little extra time without being mean or judging us. I’m sure he never forgot what it was like to be in our shoes. 

I am thankful that he and Lola Mom brought their family here to the US. I would not have my beautiful family without their incredibly daring leap of faith to come here. Thank you for everything I have. 

Marty

My younger childhood days involve Talman, SCF, and Candlewick. We would play in the cul de sac and see one of the Mercedes pull in and out of the driveway. You could tell by the color if it was Dad or Mom Natividad. I liked Dad’s more because it was silver/blue with a black leather interior!   

I loved going to Candlewick! Riding in the van with the fridge was so cool. The dip was by far the funnest and scariest part! But I remember Dad letting us roam the land free to explore. He would take us on the boat or drop us off at the pool. I mostly remember him and Kuya Dennis lining up fishing poles that were already casted along the water. Each pole had a bell that would ring if there was a bite. The joys on their faces when it would ring was priceless. It was pretty funny when the “police” on the boat would come around and make sure each line was being used by a person. So Dad would be like “Go, go and grab a line.” The Candlewick house was always crowded with family and friends and music in the background. 

Dad was always so kind and generous and welcoming. He was always there to listen or provide advice. Thank You, Dad, for not being judgmental and loving me as if I were one of your own. I appreciate the sacrifices you made with Mom to come to the US. If it wasn’t for your bravery and strong will for a better life, my life now would not exist. 

I will miss your calming demeanor, your laugh and smile, and your love of dancing. I hope your reunion with Kuya was amazing and that you both are resting in peace. We miss you and love you both!


Angelito, whom I later came to refer to as “Ninong”, was one of the first of the elders to welcome me and actually make me feel welcomed into the family.

I used to really enjoy talking to him about anything from cooking to politics. He had a genuine warmth and he always seemed delighted to see me and I wasn’t an exception. I really loved talking to him and I will remember our conversations the most.

I didn’t have the experience of growing up with him in my life but in the very short time I did spend with him, he has left a lasting impression. I will always remember him as a very kind and gentle man, who was large in stature yet very modest and humble. People like Angelito (“Ninong”) never really leave us. Their kindness will continue to echo through the many generations to follow.

Rest In Peace, Ninong Angelito. I hope to chat with you again soon in a much better place. 

Angelito Natividad was a great uncle whom I referred to as “Dad Natividad”. He was also my godfather. I have a lot to be grateful for having an uncle like him. I could always count on seeing him with a smile and ready to engage in conversation. He would always ask about school and encourage me to continue to do what I am doing and to always aim high. From elementary school through high school, we didn’t need to go to the library since we could go to the many encyclopedia sets Dad had in the basement by his office. He looked happy seeing us use the encyclopedia sets for school. There was not one graduation or special event when I did not get an encouraging letter in calligraphy from Dad and Mom Natividad which I still have and hold them dear to this day. 

After my first formal speech at my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary, Dad told me he was very proud and that I had a gift in speaking and touching people’s hearts. Ever since then, I trusted his encouraging words and had more confidence each time I formally spoke from then on. 

Dad and Mom Natividad always had faith in me to accomplish what I set my mind to. After buying my first car, my next goal was to buy my own place. At the time, Mom and Dad had already decided to move to Florida and I saw the opportunity to try to sell their house in Tally’s Corner. I remember visiting them with hard copies of a PowerPoint presentation showing them how I plan to sell their house. After I packed my papers in my folder, with serious smiles both Dad and Mom told me that they would go with me instead of a realtor. I did sell the home in a few months and was very happy I was able to do that for them.

When I was younger, I stayed at the 8737 Talman house a lot. My parents worked different schedules, sometimes at Mom Natividad’s clinic in the evenings and I remember waiting for them at night. I remember having pork and mushrooms (which was Mom Natividad’s dish I think) for dinner and Dad Natividad would peel grapefruit for us for dessert. I recall “Star Search” being on the TV most nights while we ate grapefruit. There were also times Dad and the family included me in their dinner treats and introduced me to Mattson’s, the best steak house…at that time. I remember entering the dark restaurant and grabbing a plate, a small plastic bowl with an attached handle for the salad bar, and the best part…grabbing corn on a stick in a circular spinning pool of butter. 

There was also the time I watched an episode of “Diff’rent Strokes” and was fixated on Arnold’s lesson on racism, although I think I didn’t fully understand the lesson until I talked it through with Dad. I just remember Dad calling everyone to eat dinner and I was sitting outside on the cement steps by the back door in the backyard. Dad asked why I was outside, and I said I couldn’t eat with them because they were brown. Dad gave me this stern look at first and asked me why. I said “Because Arnold said so but I think I can…I’m just a lighter brown.” He laughed, agreed with me that it was ok, and we walked inside to go eat.

I have Dad Natividad to thank for my reluctance to eating beef tongue. I remember the time where I believe Dad burned a tongue dish and the burnt smell was so bad Dad had all the windows opened and I swear I even smelled it after getting home living two houses down. I can’t believe I only found out in my 40s that it was kidney and not tongue. It still does not change my mind about beef tongue dishes. 

There were so many great memories at Candlewick, and I will never forget hearing Dad Natividad’s playlist including “Drinking Rum and Coca-Cola” in the background. Dad also loved to sing karaoke and I always enjoyed singing a song or two as we rotated the mic at family parties. I remember Dad liked to watch old movies like “Ben Hur”, “Cyclops” and Westerns in the family room at the Tally’s Corner house.

Recently, I was most grateful to see Dad Natividad in October of last year. Dad still greeted Immi and me with his bright smile and eagerness to talk. Adelina saw how much Mom loved Dad and she really loved him too. Adelina really enjoyed pushing Lolo Dad in his wheelchair and Snapchatting with him. Adelina loved to make him laugh with Snapchat and Dad sure did get a kick out of it.  

I will always remember Dad Natividad with his bright beautiful smile, his big heart for embracing us like his own, and his encouraging words that will forever resound in my heart. We love you, Dad, and may you rest in peace.

“Dad’s Smile”

Dad Natividad was a truly amazing person. Throughout my life, I’ve only known him as “Dad”—such a strong and intimate title to give someone! He truly deserved that title. Dad was at the center of all our families; he was our heart. We all lived so closely together in Evergreen Park and he was right in the middle at the Talman house! Everyone lived just a short walk or drive away from each other. It felt like a family TV sitcom at times, except this was our family—our family growing up as best we could with the love and guidance from Mom and Dad Natividad. The world was so small and warm and kind during those days.  

As I grew older, I’ve always noticed how patient, kind, and intellectual he was. I’ve always noticed how he would smile to everyone and brighten up their day. His smile was so bright. I felt like that’s why we all lived so close together!…to see more of Dad’s approving smile as we did the right thing. Dad’s warmth and kindness nurtured all our families in those early days, and I feel that’s why our world became a little bigger past Talman Street or Evergreen Park or even Illinois; it was to support our bigger families! Thank you, Dad! 

I will always remember his smile.  I only want to live virtuously, knowing that Dad would be smiling back and proud of me.  

Jeff

I remember Tito Lito as a smooth operator. He was super cool and always calm and in control. I never saw him mad or yelling. I always remember him always smiling and being super nice to everyone. I remember him driving the old van we used to go to Candlewick and him riding on his lawn mower. And I remember he loved fishing!!!

I got to know Ninong Lito when my family and I first came to the US in May 1988. We lived with Ninong Lito and family for about a year. When he came home from work, he liked to sit at the side of his bed to watch the evening news. He was a quiet and kind person. He had a smile on his face all the time. I had never seen him once get mad or raise his voice. When we went to Candlewick, he taught me how to fish, which I still remember to this day. 

He was a very good person and that was why I picked him as one of my ninongs at my wedding. I am sure he went straight to Heaven. He will be greatly missed. I miss him already.

Dad Natividad used to lift all the kids in the air in their basement at the Talman house. I was intimidated by him at first, but he was one of the kindest uncles I will ever know. We will miss him.

Ninong always had a ready smile on his face. He didn’t mind Jack (our poodle mix) jumping on him and kissing him when they’d come to play 2-Hits with us at mom and dad’s Florida house. Ninong told us when Ate MaryRose and Kuya Dennis were young, they used to have a pet dog in their Chicago apartment that just disappeared one day and he never found out what happened to it. 

He’d also go home early from our 2-Hits game to get ready for church (he wanted to practice the readings he’d be doing for the Sunday mass). We last visited him in May 2019 and of all of us that were in the room with him, I was the only one he recognized.  He even called me by my full name and then smiled at us.  I think he was playing with us, and we got played!  

Dedette

Tito Lito wasn’t around when I was growing up so I really just knew him by name. The one time he went home to the Philippines for someone’s wedding, I was barely 10, if I even remember that correctly. When we came here in the US in 1988, I only saw him during family parties and holidays. It was during one of those holidays, New Year’s eve I think. We were in the basement in the Sawyer house, I can’t even remember if it was still Tito Bert’s house then or already Tita Ned’s. Anyway, everybody was into ballroom dancing and Tito Lito saw me watching so he came over and said, “It’s really easy. I’ll show you.” and so he did. He was a good teacher. I never knew he was a dance instructor though until Ate mentioned it during the wake.

Another memory of him that I have is from Florida. When my parents moved there in 2012, Dette and I would go there once a year for vacation and to check on them of course. So one of the things we do when we’re there is play 2-Hits, a card game that I’m sure everyone in the family knows about. Tito Lito and Tita Reming would come over to my parents’ house for lunch and then we’d play card games the rest of the day. The first game I ended up playing with him and my mom, while Dette played with my dad and Tita Reming. From that time on, I was stuck with him and mom every time, and then I realized it’s because both my mom and Tito Lito take forever in making their moves. The other group was already on their third or fourth game and we were still working on our first. I remember Tito Lito holding his cards in front of him, humming a tune while I was tapping my fingers and taking deep breaths because he was taking his dandy time. He would lay down his card, look at me, and smile. It was a very, very long game!

I have always heard people talk about Tito Lito, saying he was very kind, soft spoken, and honest, especially with his taxes, lol. I say they are all right. He’ll be missed.

Cathy

The first time I danced ballroom with Dad was practicing for my debut. We had months of many sessions in the lobby of my Mom’s medical practice on Kedzie since it was wide enough to swirl around. I remember the night of the big debut. I was wearing my red billowy ballroom dress embellished with white lace worn with long white gloves. Dad looked dapper in his tuxedo. Dad and I would gracefully circle the floor dancing the waltz to Johann Strauss’ “Blue Danube.” Dad made me feel like a princess. We were the talk of the debut because we were the most graceful father and daughter duo. Years later in adulthood, Dad also taught me the cha-cha, rhumba, line dance, and my favorite…the tango! I never did get the hang of swing! The last time I danced with my Dad was about two years ago. We were waiting for the elevators at Grand Living. Elvis Presley’s “Fools Rush In” came on the speakers in the hallway. I asked Dad if he would dance with me. Although he did not move as swiftly anymore, he held my right hand and placed his left behind my back. He still had command of the dance with just the flick of his wrist swinging me this direction and that direction. Masterful!

Dad also loved to sing! I recall growing up watching vintage movies and musicals with Dad and hence my love for vintage movies and songs! I age myself when I tell you I am fond of singing songs from Doris Day, Shirley Temple, Julie Andrews’ songs from “The Sound of Music”, Engelbert Humperdinck (does anyone else know who he is?), Don Ho, Fred Astaire, Gene Autry, Carmen Miranda, Nat King Cole, the list is long. We would sing along watching the movie or if the song happened to be on the radio. So, when the invention of a home-based karaoke came to be, Dad was one of the first in our extended family to invest in a Magic Sing. When I could afford one, I bought one too! Our signature karaoke song was “Besame Mucho”! We OWNED it! We performed the perfect duet! We would make a list of our favorites to try. Now Dad was an ace on the karaoke, almost always scoring 98-100 no matter what the song. I, on the other hand, did not inherit that talent. (sigh) If you hear me sing any song (other than “Besame Mucho” or “Over the Rainbow”, songs that I have miraculously mastered both in tone and pitch), you would most likely slither away to the next room out of earshot. He noticed that I loved to sing but would get discouraged when I would see the karaoke score. So, the next time I visited him in Florida in their Princewood home, he rigged his karaoke machine to no longer score. We happily sang a litany of songs to my heart’s content!

As I reminisce about these fond memories, I can’t help but realize how much my Dad is an integral part of who I am today. As I look back, so many things that he liked (e.g., ballroom dancing and karaoke), I also like. So many activities he enjoyed (calligraphy, fishing, golfing, crabbing, and cooking – I cherish the handful of recipes he has written for me), I also enjoy…because we did it together.      
Thank you, Dad, for sharing yourself and giving me a wonderful life. Until we sing and dance again…

I love you, Dad!

Memory 1:

Dad used to be an owner of a property on South Kedzie Avenue. He invited me over one day to be the “ENFORCER” and evict a non-paying tenant. So, there we were...Dennis, Dad, and me, shoveling and throwing all this stuff out like the Hulk on steroids. Within 45 minutes, the whole apartment was empty. The funny part of this whole story was I’m not even sure if it was sanctioned! The whole situation was so Gangster! Dad was so gangster like Al Capone. His famous quote for that day was “Just do it, it’s all good.”



Memory 2:

As I entered the Talman house early in the courting period with Maria, there was this smell that just floored me...it smelled like A Pee Bomb had exploded in the house. Dad had decided to cook kidney. Yuk!

I love you, Dad!  Thanks for the adventures!

When Joy asked me at the memorial luncheon to write in the memory book for Kuya, I said that I would, but told her to let others write down their memories first and I would be last. Even though I have so many memories of Kuya, I really didn’t know what to write down. My mind was honestly blank.

The night after the 2-day service for Kuya, however, I was happy to write down a memory and to be able to do it for Kuya. I had a good night’s sleep the night of the memorial mass and luncheon, but I woke up early like 4am the following day with a dream and Kuya Lito was in it. I tried to remember the details of my dream but could only remember bits and pieces. I wrote down key words on a piece of paper to help me remember and talked more about my dream with my “dear Greggy” in the morning. I planned to share my dream with everybody later.

In the first part of my dream, I saw 3 live crabs, which I was cleaning outside of the Talman house by the driveway near the Davidson’s house so that I could cook them. One of the three crabs started to crawl away towards the other side of the driveway near the Stec’s house. I tried catching it with my bare hands and then went inside the garage where Kuya had his tools and found a pair of pliers to use instead. There were also 3 butterfish to fry and I saw a man standing by the stove in the Talman house. The man is either Tata or Kuya, you know how both of them liked to cook.
In the second part of my dream, I was waiting to go to a bus stop to catch a bus or get a ride from someone. Kuya was in his trench coat (like the one Columbo, the Private Investigator, wore in the TV show) and was carrying his briefcase like I always saw him before when he was still working at Burhop’s. (Although he had his back towards me and I didn’t see his face, I know it was Kuya with his coat on.) Ate was by the front door yelling at us to “go the other way, go to the right side, that’s a shortcut.” (Remember, we had a shortcut by the gas station to go to the next street, Washtenaw.)

Putting meaning to this dream, it is like Kuya is saying his goodbye. I think Kuya is the crab crawling away in the first part of my dream; the two crabs he’s leaving are his wife and children. The second part of my dream means that Kuya is leaving and going to travel.

I didn’t prepare anything for the eulogy but I kept reminding his children about it. I was content just to listen to them honor and express their love for their father. I felt happy and satisfied hearing them share their memories. I was especially happy listening to Eileen express her love and respect for Kuya Lito. She represented our family because we all feel the same towards Kuya.

Kuya was one of the many good persons I have ever known in my life. He was smart, loving, caring, and hard working. I had known Kuya for a long, long time, ever since I was a teenager when he was still courting my sister. I remember him coming over to our house in Norzagaray on some weekends to visit Ate Remy. He would bring some chocolates. If I remember it right, it’s like “Van Houten”, which was not a very expensive chocolate but not a cheap one either. The chocolates were either for my Ate or me, but I always had some of it. 

After Kuya Lito and Ate Remy got married, Kuya Bandoy, Diko Bert, Ditse Neda, Sanko Boy, and I, along with Oca (Kuya Lito’s brother) all lived with Kuya Lito and Ate Remy in their apartment when I was in high school and the rest were in college. After a year, Kuya and Ate went to the US. During the whole time we lived with them, I didn’t see anything that I didn’t like about Kuya. He was a good husband to my sister, a good father to Maria, a good son-in-law to my parents, a good brother-in-law to us, a good son to his father, and a good brother to his siblings and even to his cousins. 

When we got here in the US, same thing. We stayed with Kuya and Ate for quite some time till we could have a place of our own. The whole time was good. There was nothing to complain about, all was good. During all those times—in the Philippines and here in the US—I don’t remember Kuya getting really mad. Of course, we’re only human, we’re not perfect but still Kuya being upset or mad was not so bad. That’s why we loved him and respected him like a real brother. He gave us advice whenever we needed it and we loved him for that.

When we were at church listening to the homily during your memorial mass, I felt like the priest forgot to mention your job at the seafood place where you first worked (or as the priest said “the fish market where you worked at after immigrating to the US”). Even though Joy included your position at Burhop’s in her notes for the priest to write his homily, the priest made it seem like you were handling fish when actually you worked there in the office doing their accounting. Sorry, Kuya.

I know you visited me last night through a dream and I’m happy that you did. Usually when someone dreams about dead people, one gets scared but not this time. Thanks for your visit. You’ll always be in my heart and you won’t be forgotten. I love you and will try to be there for Ate the best possible way I can. Rest In Peace.

One more good memory is your last dance with my sister on your 50th wedding anniversary. Though your legs were weak and your movements were slow, you still managed to dance her around. I was praying in my seat for you to finish the dance gracefully and you did. Bravo Kuya!!! You were really a good dancer, a good singer, and a real trooper.
 
Mel

My memory of Kuya Lito was when he was my boss at Burhop’s Seafood! When I was riding with him to go to work together, he told me I have to learn how to drive. And then I did and I drove to work by myself.

Buena

Of course, we have some memories of Kuya Lito. When we moved to Florida 8 years ago, Kuya Lito helped us to know the different directions and places to go, and how to establish our life situation here in Florida. He was a good kuya to us. We enjoyed crabbing together, cooking the crab for lunch and dinner, and playing Tongits till evening. Whenever we invited him and Ate to our house, he always praised my cooking. With a smile on his face and in a very soft voice, he said, “Auring, masarap. Paano mo niluto? Gagayahin ko.” Kuya, we are going to miss you forever. You will always be remembered. 

Kwento ni Tatay nuong bata pa ako, istrikto ang Tito Lito pero ubod ng bait. Duon sya (Tatay) tumira sa Maynila kasama sina Tito Lito at Tito Oca habang sya ay nag-aaral. Kapatid at matalik na kaibigan ang naging turingan nila sa isat isa. Napatotohanan ko iyon ng magkita at makilala ko sya nuong bata pa ako. Matangkad, matikas at magandang lalaki lalo na tuwing sya ay nakangiti. Mapagmahal at matulungin si Tito Lito. Naalala ko pa nuong padalhan nya ako ng regalo o aginaldo sa pasko kalakip ng christmas card napaka thoughtful nya. Pasasalamat daw nya sa mabuti at magandang pagtrato ko daw sa kanyang mga anak na sina Michelle at Joy sa pagbisita nila nuon dito sa Pilipinas. Nagkita kaming muli ng Tito Lito ng ako’y malaki na. Nakatanaw lamang sya ng magmano ako sa kanya pero nakangiti sya nuon nagpakilala ako. Sabi ko “si Evelyn po ako, anak ni Ody.” Ngumiti sya at tumango habang mahigpit na hawak ang aking kamay. Hindi nya talaga nakakalimutan si Tatay sambit ng loob ko habang ako’y nakangiti din sa kanya. Tito Lito, hinding hindi po kita makakalimutan kaylanman. Pakiusap po...paki halik at yakap mo po ako sa aking Tatay Ody at Inang Poya. Paalam po. Maligayang paglalakbay!

Nuong nag-aaral pa si Lito sa Marcelo H. Del Pilar High School ay talagang napakahilig nyang mag-aral kahit ang gamit lamang nya ay kandila o gasera na magtatanglaw sa mga aralin nya. Madalas kaming nasa kubo sa palaisdaan at inuutusan sya ng Amang Justo na patubigan ang palaisdaan sa gabi. Sya din ang nagsasaing at kasama akong sumasalok ng isdang lubog gaya ng dalag, hito at hipon. Kapag may nasasalok na bangus pinapakawalan nya ulit ito at yung ibang isdang nasalok nya ang sya nyang niluluto upang ulamin nila.

Juaning

I called him “Ka Lito.” He was well-respected, admired, and loved by his relatives and friends in the Philippines and this continued until he moved to the United States at an early age. He was our role model. He went to America with the intention of paying off debts secured by the real estate property(ies) owned by their family in the Philippines. After paying off the debts, he ultimately gave away the properties to his siblings in the Philippines.  

Also,  he and Ka Zeny and Oca (children of Nana Chayong who was the elder sister of my mother Flora) waived their rights to a community property (house and lot) in the Philippines and gave their consent in writing so that my mother could legally own the property. Their generosity paid off and they had been blessed with owning multiple real estate properties.

He was very helpful and accommodating. He took Ka Ody (my older brother) and me into his dormitory/apartment when we were studying in college in Manila. He guided us all throughout. He was such a blessing to us.  

Nengneng

The special times we shared and good times we had with Kuya Lito are truly unforgettable. Kuya Lito was well-loved and respected. He had a great character and a big heart. We will miss him everyday. He will never be forgotten.

Angie & Jimmy

Una sa lahat, kami ng buong pamilya ko ay taos pusong “Nagpapasalamat” sa Ka Lito at sa kanyang kabiyak Ate Reming  sa lahat lahat ng tulong. Kung hindi dahil sa kanila hindi kami mabibigyan ng pagkakataon magkakapatid na makarating at maranasan ang buhay sa Amerika. Sila ang nagbukas ng pinto para magkaroon kame ng komportableng buhay. 

Naaalala ko ang Ka Lito nuong siyang nag-aaral sa Maynila. Hinahatiran naming siya ng damit ng Amang. Nakikita ko rin siya nuong araw na kahit nasa laot ng palaisdaan at nagbabantay sa prinsa naisisingit pa rin niya ang pagbabasa. 

Sa paninirahan nilang mag anak sa America. Naging parang tradisyon na sa amin na tuwing sasapit ang pasko hindi sila nakakalimot batiin kaming magkakapatid at aming pamilya.

Nakakalungkot lang at di na naming siya nakakasama pa. Pero alam namin na magiging  mapayapa siya sa piling ng ating lumikha. Kaya Ka Lito paalam…at sa muling pagkikita…Maraming Salamat
sa iyo. 

Nagmamahal,
Mar & Family

I owe a lot to Kuya Lito. If not for Ka Lito’s financial support, advice, and moral support, I would not have finished high school plus my 2-year course in college, which allowed me to land a job, become a self-supporting student, and finish another course (BS in Commerce-Management). 

Likewise, my family also owes a lot to Kuya Lito. If not for him and Ate Reming, we would not have been able to immigrate to the US. In 1976, they petitioned me, Baby, Rose, and Norma. When Emily was born in 1979, I wrote to the US Embassy to add her as a dependent. Thanks to God, Kuya Lito, and Ate Reming, my family and I were able to immigrate to the US on July 31, 1988. Our destination was to go to Chicago, but within our one-month stay in San Francisco (under Roland’s care), Baby, Rose, Norma, and I found jobs and got an apartment where we lived until our retirement in 2015. Kuya Lito and Ate Reming also assisted us to get a half-acre subdivision lot in Florida as an investment. 

When Amang Justo died in 1994, he left a will giving all the properties he acquired during his marriage to Inang Chayong to Kuya Lito, Ka Zeny, and me. (Mar, Roland, Jimmy, and Rod were not included because they already got their shares from their mom’s (Nana Piyang) property.) Instead of keeping his share of the properties, Kuya Lito donated his as follows: half of his 1/3 share was to be equally divided between Ka Zeny and me while the other half of his 1/3 was to be equally divided among his four half-brothers. Roland refused to take his share of Kuya Lito’s offer so the other half of Kuya Lito’s 1/3 was divided equally between Mar, Jimmy, and Rod instead. All of us are thankful to Kuya Lito for his kind-heartedness and generosity.

Kuya Lito was a father figure and a loving brother, who always extended a helping hand whenever we needed one. So long, Rest In Peace, Kuya Lito. Your memories remain in our hearts forever.

Oscar, Baby & Family

Dad and I had a very good respectful relationship. Joy first introduced me to the family when I was already finishing my undergraduate degree at Northwestern. As such, I think I started with some points on the board and never got a sense of having to prove myself worthy. Our time together was generally limited by the fact that, after marriage, Joy and I always lived outside of the Chicagoland area, but Dad always welcomed us home in his own kind, gentle way. 

Dad was a great grandfather to Ian. I remember particularly his cradling Ian when he was a baby and the crabbing trip in Florida when Ian was older. 

Dad was never judgmental or confrontational. When faced with the fact that I was planning on taking Ian to day care in a kiddy cart on the back of my bike, for example, he didn’t challenge me on the wisdom of it, but simply and generously gave us his minivan to safely transport Ian. And, except for his trying to talk us out of leaving for Indonesia three weeks after 9/11—which was obviously motivated by his concern for our safety—he was completely accepting of our lifestyle and my career that kept us in Asia for much of the last twenty years.  

As I spent more and more time in the Philippines for my work, I think our areas of common interest increased. I remember some fun times singing karaoke together. One irony, though, was that even though we both enjoyed eating with our hands, he would not do so in front of me out of embarassment. 

Dad was a lovely man, and even though my time with him was quite limited over the years, I very much appreciated the time we did get to spend together.

One of my favorite memories of Lolo was when I was at Lolo & Lola’s house and I wanted to draw. Lolo and Lola have always had endless writing implements in their home, but if it wasn’t a pen, then it was one of two types of pencil: a golf pencil or an incredibly ancient one with a long-hardened eraser. I happened to chance upon one with a usable eraser but unfortunately for me, the tip broke. Without a sharpener in sight, I went to my Lolo for help. Ever supportive of my artistic efforts, he whipped out a knife and hand-sharpened the pencil quickly and cleanly as if he was peeling an apple. He always supported me in every way and continues to inspire me with his determination and teachings.

I love you, Lolo!

(Adapted version of the Eulogy)

There are many lessons in life that Dad taught me. Education tops that list. He always stressed that education was really important. If there was anything in life that he wanted for his children, it was for us to have a good education. I never actually realized how much this idea has made an impression on me until now. Between his 4 children, we have 5 Bachelor’s degrees and 5 Masters. I have not only gotten a great education for myself but I also strive to carry on his message everyday with my own kids. It’s interesting because it has even carried over into my profession. I teach children everyday. Thanks, Dad, for planting this seed in my head. Now whenever I teach my students, I will smile and think of you.  

Dad also taught me to be a hard worker. He had different jobs in his life. He worked for a seafood business, fur company, and the post office. In all of those jobs, he gave it his all.  Not once did I ever hear him complain.  

He was a good dad. He not only took care of his own family but our extended family as well.  He and my mom helped my aunts and uncles start their lives here in America. He was very generous helping anyone he could. My cousins even called him “Dad Natividad” because he was like a second father to them. 

He not only was a good dad but he was also the best Lolo. I loved how he talked and played with my kids. They had so much fun together. I can imagine him laughing at all the Snapchat pictures and videos that Sophia would take of themselves. My favorite was when his face morphed into an odd looking face. Dad said with a filtered voice, “Oh no, look at this, it’s like a frog with a moosetache. What country does it come from?” It was so cute. I could watch that video over and over and it will always put a smile on my face. I also loved watching them exercise together. Dad would walk around our house and my kids would walk right behind him like a family of ducks. I also loved watching them dance. My kids would have Dad copy their dance moves.  Some of their moves were imitating regular things people do everyday such as “put your pants on” and “pull down the shades.” Dad would smile because it was so funny. One of my favorite memories is them playing “Name that Filipino Word.” Sophia and Ava would attempt to say a word in Tagalog and Dad would translate it in English. My kids are so lucky to have had him as their Lolo. 

Dad was the cook in our family. Unfortunately, I did not inherit that trait, but I definitely learned how to be a good eater from his delicious cooking. He spoiled me with crab, kare kare, adobo, and tinola. However, my favorite thing he cooked was scallops. Working for a seafood business definitely had its benefits. 

He had a calm demeanor about him. I am continuously trying hard to work on this characteristic. Honestly, I never saw him angry. No matter how difficult or stressful a situation was, he somehow kept his cool.  His tone and how he spoke had such a calming effect around everyone he was with. 

He was an explorer. He and Mom immigrated to the US in the 1960s with only 2 suitcases and Ate. They only knew 1 person in Chicago.  Yet, they somehow created a great life here for their family. He also traveled the world with my mom. I will always cherish the time they visited me while I worked in Japan. How brave they were to come to a country where people don’t speak English very well. Somehow they were able to navigate to my small countryside town on a local train all by themselves. Thanks, Dad, for teaching me the importance of travel. I will expose my own kids to different countries and cultures one day.

He loved golf. If he wasn’t at the golf course, he would be watching the Golf Channel practicing his swing in the basement. He taught me to have a passion for something.  You should fill your life with things that make you happy.  

I just have so many fond memories of time with Dad like walking on his feet when I was little, catching bluegill and bullhead at Candlewick Lake, driving through the DIP in the Cozy Craft van, our daily commute to my high school, him coming to my volleyball games, singing “Edelweiss” and “You Raise Me Up,” eating grapefruit while watching nighttime soap operas, eating at Mattson’s, and him saying “By the way”. I also enjoyed growing up watching martial arts on Samurai Sundays with him. Maybe that is why I enjoy martial arts to this day. He lived a good, happy life full of wonderful memories. 

My last memory is how my dad and I said our goodbyes. It was in a dream about 3 weeks before he passed away. Imagine a pitch black sky. Both my mom and dad were there. I couldn’t see my mom but I knew she was there because I heard her voice. I could see my dad but he wasn’t like how you and I knew him. There was an outline of his body made up of thousands and thousands of stars. I don’t recall exactly what we talked about but I do know that at the end of our conversation I said, “I love you, Dad.” He said “I love you” back to me. I opened my arms to embrace him. When I hugged him, all the stars making up his body gracefully exploded into the pitch black sky. It was amazingly beautiful. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to say goodbye to him. Although we have physically lost him on this earth, he will always be with us and we can find him in the stars.  

I love you, Dad. 

A funny memory I have of Lolo is when we were in Florida at their old house with the pool and we decided we wanted to play in it. Even though it was hot outside, the pool was freezing cold. I decided I wanted to see if the deep end of the pool was warmer so I put my toe on the ladder and next thing I knew the ladder cracked in half! So I walked back to the other side and Lolo came out and said, “Be careful. The ladder is broken.” right after I tried to use it!  

Another hilarious memory I have of Lolo is when we were walking back from lunch to their room in Grand Living. We enjoyed our lunch eating at a buffet. After we finished, we were walking up and all of a sudden I heard farting noises. Mom and I looked at each other, then to Lolo and burst out laughing. Lolo was smiling and said, “I’m sorry! I ate too much!” Every step he took we heard him fart the whole way down the hallway!

Lolo always made me smile and laugh.  

I have lots of good stories about Mr. Natividad (who I later affectionately called “Dad” once I married Michelle). I’d like to share one of my earliest memories.

I started to date Michelle late in our senior year of high school. I had come over to their house maybe 2 or 3 times before graduation. Dad was pleasant, but quiet. He never really said much to me, which was great because I was a shy nervous teenager dating his daughter and I wasn’t really trying to make conversation either.

All of this changed on graduation. I graduated with High Honors, which meant I got to wear special gold tassels over my graduation gown. After the graduation, I went to find Michelle to congratulate her. To my surprise, Dad touched my shoulder (though I think he was really touching the gold tassels) and said the first words I remember him saying to me: “Good job, high honors”. We had made a breakthrough! I even got invited to graduation dinner right there on the spot. Of course, I couldn’t go as I had dinner plans with my own family. But ever since that fateful day, I think I gained some respect. More importantly, when it was time to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage, I know he felt good letting his daughter marry someone who understood the importance of education as much as he did.

Dad fought hard at the end, but I really believe that one of the things that gave him peace was

knowing that his children are well-educated and well-loved. 

I will always remember the time when we went crabbing with Lola and Lolo. There was another family there but they were fishing. They caught a crab and gave it to Lolo. 

I also had so much fun playing pool and exercising together at Grand Living. He squeezed a stress ball with his hand. 

I loved telling him riddles. He couldn’t figure them out so I had to tell him the answers. 

One time, Lolo wanted to get out of bed so Ate and I tried to pull him up. My mom kept saying, “Gentle.” We tried very hard but he rolled back into bed. Lolo, Ate, Mom, and I all laughed so hard. 

I liked when he came over to my house, especially for my birthday party. 

Before he went to the nursing home, we called him on Alexa. Lola always rolled him in his wheelchair to the screen so we could see him. 

I have a lot of good memories with Lolo. I love him very much!

When we first got our Echo Show, we used to call Lolo and Lola a lot. Before Lolo went to the nursing home, he was always in the video camera so we could see him and talk to him.

Another memory was interviewing Lolo and Lola about life in the Philippines. I had to make a poster about a country. I chose the Philippines. We had a fun time talking about it. 

My last memory is seeing him at the nursing home. I liked pushing him in his wheelchair. Ate and I also played one of his favorite songs, “Hallelujah”, on the ukulele. I also loved hearing him sing “You Raise Me Up.” I will miss him.

I will always remember Dad making, rolling, and frying egg rolls like an art form. When I make them, I think of him and his grace in all things. I remember his beautiful smile lighting up the room and his calm, loving, and welcoming nature. I remember the way he made me feel loved and accepted from the moment I first met him. He had the most beautiful calligraphy, smooth and graceful moves on the dance floor, and a melodic voice. I remember him lovingly rocking, singing to, and playing with the grandchildren.  

One of my most intimate memories of Dad surround the time when Den was ill. I recall the time when I found Dad sobbing quietly alone in our dining room. When I placed my arms around him, he said “I will be okay. I need to be strong for everyone.” I will never forget his love and support.  

Lastly, I will always remember Dad for his unconditional love, patience, and happiness he shared with Mom. Their marriage and relationship is one that I always respected and attempt to emulate in my own life. I find comfort in knowing that Dad is an angel looking down and watching over all of us.  

I will always remember Dad Natividad’s smile. He had a smile that lit up a room. You can’t fake a smile like that. He always had a soft voice. We would talk about golf. He would give me pointers and ask how my game is going. 

And lastly, I will always remember how kind he was to my wife and family. He was a good man and the world is a less happy place without him. He is with God and Kuya now. No more pain.

Hit ’em straight and keep it in the fairway, Boys. See you at the 19th hole.

Peter

Lolo was always a very kind and generous man. I would always go to Florida for the summer and he would always welcome me with open arms and a smile. He had a way about him that always made it seem that no matter how dark things got, he would be happy. Whether it be crabbing, playing Two Hits, or singing karaoke, Lolo always had a smile on his face. He always made sure that I had a good time at their house and always went above and beyond to try to make me happy.  He truly was the best Lolo I could have asked for.

My earliest memory of Lolo was at a Christmas party. I remember him singing in his beautiful voice and remember somehow being calm, which was an odd contrast to the spastic normal self that I was. Lolo truly knew how to make people calm at heart and in soul. I will miss him dearly and hope he is in a better place smiling down. 

In June 2015, we took a mini road trip to Indiana to attend mass at St. John the Evangelist Parish. Here is a photo of us in front of the altar. We miss and love you. 💚

One fond memory I have is of this security blanket in the form of a small pillow. It was a small pink pillow with a blueish pillow case covered in fish. I don’t recall when I got it, but I do remember the pillow case would always tear and be riddled with holes. Although it was tattered, Lolo would always take the time to sew it back together every time he would come visit. I will always remember this and many more small acts of his love. 

I will love you forever Lolo.

I’ll always remember the love and passion Dad had for golf. He would always, always practice his swing in the family room at the old house. He’d do so while talking about it and watching it on TV. 

I’ll never forget his smile. He had a great smile that would light up a room. Always a kind-hearted guy. 💚
I was also always so impressed by his handwriting. I remember always thinking that no way it was written by hand! I thought it was printed from a computer or something! 

He was such a loving uncle. He will definitely be missed by so many people. 💚

OBITUARIO

Angelito Natividad

19 julio, 1941 – 20 enero, 2020

Fero Funeral Home & Life Celebration Center & Fero Memorial Gardens

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