Etelvina Real

“Seeing is believing.” For many, those words simply represent a motto. She was modest, quiet and observant, taking in everything around her and always thinking before acting. She was a realist, someone who was efficient and practical in everything she did. She was a friendly person who truly cared about those around her.

She was the daughter of Ruperto Perez and Petra Garibay. Raised in Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico. She was brought up to be tolerant and trustworthy. As a child, she learned to be conscientious, responsible and punctual. These were all traits that she would carry with her throughout her life.

As a young girl, Etelvina was always aware of how others around her felt and this quality served her well. With a deep capacity to tolerate the feelings of others, Etelvina was generally able to avoid conflicts. It seemed as if Etelvina was the family member who was always working to keep stress at bay. Preferring a quiet environment where she could concentrate, Etelvina also had the ability to relate well with her family and friends. Etelvina was raised with 3 siblings. She had two older brothers, Jose and Salvador, and one younger brother, Roberto. Etelvina was constantly involved in activities with her family. Etelvina and her siblings had the typical rivalries while growing up but they deeply cared for each other and shared many life experiences over the years.

Most folks would say that Etelvina was shy until they got to know her. Those who were privileged to know her well learned that she was a solid, good friend. Etelvina was reluctant to generalize about people, and she based her friendships on her personal experiences. Because of this, Etelvina best trusted those people that she truly knew. She was concerned about how those around her felt, and she always seemed to uncover the positive side of people. She could relate to others and had the ability to see their point of view, to “walk a mile in their shoes,” as the saying goes. The friends that she made, Etelvina kept. Lola Villamar and Raquel Torres were her best friends growing up. Guadalupe Alvarez, Pera Alvarez, and Micaela Avila were her best friends later in life.

Love can’t be defined but must be experienced. That was so true for Etelvina. It was as if Etelvina naturally sensed her spouse’s needs, and accepted those feelings unconditionally. Although Etelvina disliked conflict, she did not take flight from discord, but rather sought to preserve harmony even during the most trying times.

Etelvina was a good mother to her children. She had “old fashioned” parental values and could handle typical family conflicts in a fair and calm manner. Because she trusted emotions, Etelvina was reluctant to force issues and used gentle persuasion to resolve situations. In this way she seemed to radiate an aura of warmth and caring to those around her, always thinking before acting. In addition, Etelvina was a master planner. No matter how hectic life around her might be, she seemed to know and track everyone’s schedule. Etelvina was blessed with three children. Two sons, Alejandro and Ricardo, and one daughter Martha Leticia. She was also blessed with one grandson, Felix.

If you gave Etelvina a deadline, she would meet it. At work, Etelvina was always on task. Without hesitation, Etelvina could adhere to any assignment and see it through to its completion. She was employed for 10 years by the Ratner Corporation as a seamstress. During that time, Etelvina excelled in working with small groups in order to complete assignments. She was able to quickly grasp concrete ideas and could organize and plan the best way to accomplish things with remarkable consistency. Etelvina was good at staying on track and was considerate in listening to what others had to say. In this way, Etelvina had a true gift for being able to come up with practical resolutions to difficult problems. She was often the team member who managed to put forth a win/win solution for all parties.

Etelvina liked to experience things first hand, in addition to simply learning about them. This quality influenced Etelvina's choice of leisure time activities. A methodical and patient worker, Etelvina preferred to set aside uninterrupted time to work on her hobbies. Her favorite pursuits were cooking, sewing, and watching her favorite soap operas. Etelvina was content to sit quietly alone, enjoying her hobbies and could often be found just reading about her favorite pastimes.

While thorough and measured in her approach to things, Etelvina often liked to physically do things rather than just think about them. She was like that with sports. She also enjoyed the statistical data and the facts behind the sports. In this way, she was something of a sports fan and enjoyed attending and watching the San Diego Padres games whenever she got the opportunity. Tops on her list were San Diego Padres baseball and St. Augustine High School football.

Due to her excellent organizational skills, Etelvina was a welcome addition to the professional and community organizations to which she belonged. Etelvina could bring established, successful methods to the discussion table, along with a generous helping of common sense. Etelvina was good at making and keeping schedules and never got bogged down in unnecessary details. Throughout her later years, Etelvina was an active member of the St. Augustine High School Booster Club.

Etelvina was active in the community. She was practical and grounded and based her decisions on first hand experience. She was responsible and liked working to achieve results rather than just chattering about possibilities. Politically, Etelvina was a Democrat.

An individual who respected and maintained traditional values, her faith was important to Etelvina. Her compassion, consideration and sympathy toward others was evident in her personal beliefs. She was a member of St. Jude Shrine of the West.

Anyone who traveled or went on vacation with Etelvina had smooth sailing. It was often taken for granted that she was the trip planner. She would start early and examine all of the possibilities, selecting the best and most effective options. Favorite vacations included Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico.

Etelvina had Cindy, a Chihuahua Dog, Droopy and Reina, both Boxers, who were her best friends for 5 years. Etelvina was as loyal to her pets as they were to her.

When Etelvina's retirement finally arrived in 1989, she was well prepared. She had taken the time to learn about her various options and chose her course wisely. Her new life involved relocating to San Diego, CA. In retirement, she found new pleasure in cooking and sewing. Even in retirement, Etelvina continued to stay in touch with her old friends while making plenty of new acquaintances. She was active in the community and felt fulfilled with the opportunities retirement offered her.

Etelvina passed away on October 11, 2011 at La Mesa Healthcare in La Mesa, CA. Natural causes. She is survived by her children Martha Leticia and Ricardo; her grandchild Felix. Services were held at St. Jude Shrine of the West. Etelvina was laid to rest in Holy Cross Cemetery in San Diego, CA.

It is said that some people can’t see the forest for the trees. Etelvina was able to focus on each individual tree, tending to its needs, thus making the forest stronger as a whole. Etelvina was a trustworthy, pragmatic and sympathetic person, the kind of woman to whom everyone was drawn. She was thorough and practical. Etelvina Real was very literal with her words. You always knew where you stood with Etelvina. She will be missed.