Sara Ballas Cotten

On December 4th, 2014 an angel received her wings! Sara Mary Cotten passed peacefully and joined family and friends in her next life. She was predeceased by her parents Russell and Josephine Boscarino, her sisters Jay Buffa, Rose Ferra, Mamie Morfino and Madeline Henson all of Detroit, Michigan. Her husbands George A. Ballas, Fred L. Cotten and her grandson Larry Ballas. She is survived by her brother Dominic Boscarino (Martha) and sister Nina Scibilia, both of Detroit. Her children John A. Ballas, George C. Ballas (Nancy), Robert T. Ballas, Karen Meissner (John), Fred Leslie Cotten III all of Jacksonville and Debra Bodine (Howard) of Lenexa, Kansas. Her grandchildren Kris James, James Rhodes (Ashley), Hank Meissner, Hope Mathis (Josh), and Max Meissner. Her great-grandchildren Bailey Sherrell, Hunter Mathis, Rhythm Rhodes, Phoenix Rhodes, River Mathis and stepson Fred L. Cotten Jr. (Yvonne).

Sara was born in Detroit on May 10th, 1923. After moving to Florida she married George A. Ballas and had three sons. After his sudden death, she met and married Fred L. Cotten with whom she had three children and raised a stepson. Together Sara and Fred ran successful barbeque businesses at 17th & Main St, San Juan Ave. and Beach Blvd. Sara was very active in the community and occupied herself in volunteer work while raising her family. Throughout her 91 years she was involved in Ribault Garden Club, Jacksonville Beaches Woman’s Club, Riverside Eastern Star, Daughters of the Nile, Duval County Council of PTA, Muscular Dystrophy Association and the Mental Health Association. Nothing gave her greater joy than bringing smiles to the faces of those she served and helped. Sara was a recipient of the 12 Who Care Community Service Award (1988), an EVE Award finalist (1990) and has an award named in her honor by Northwest Behavioral Health Services (“Sara Cotten Annual Award” Points of Excellence Hero of Merit Award ) (2006) during her many years of volunteer services..

Our family would like to thank the many friends, neighbors and caring staff of the McGraw Center that reached out to her and cared for her during her final weeks!

A celebration of her life will take place at Hardage-Giddens Beaches Chapel on Friday, December 12th, at 11:00 AM (reception immediately following). In lieu of flowers the family asks that you give a donation in her name to Northwest Behavioral Health Services or McGraw Center for Caring Community Hospice.

Personal Remembrance of Our Mom

Presented by Karen Cotten Meissner

What is a legacy? It’s sometimes defined as something that comes from someone in the past. And OH, what a past our mother has had! Today I’d like to share some of her life and legacy with you. Our mother was one of the 6 daughters and 1 son born to Italian immigrant parents. She came from humble beginnings and as a young girl she sold newspapers on street corners with her brother and father. She was a true “Taurus” being born in May which explains her frequented use of the term “bull-headed.” We can still hear her say, “John Arthur, don’t be bull-headed with me!” She was a dark haired beauty and her nickname was “Blackie.” She was the “rebel” of her family and the only one of her siblings to ever leave her hometown of Detroit. She came to Florida with a girlfriend to be a “showgirl” AND she did love to dance (But partners had to watch their toes, because she liked to lead)! She performed in the USO Road Tour where she met her “future husband” while performing at Cecil Field in Jax. After living in Miami for a couple more years she returned to Jax. and then married “her future husband.” They started their family on Forbes Street in Riverside and she became mother to her “3 sons”. Unfortunately, she was widowed by age 30 when John, George & Robert’s father died unexpectedly. But luckily, she remarried and gave birth to 3 more of us, myself, Debbie & Les, AND she inherited a “stepson,” our oldest brother Fred. We moved to the oceanfront in Neptune Beach when Les was an infant and lived there year ‘round until a storm named Dora arrived. Then we moved to our San Marco home on Brookwood Rd. Mom returned to the beaches in the late 70’s where she continued to reside with our brothers John and Robert as her care givers in recent years.

Our homes were always filled with activity and guests. Mom frequently entertained and hosted Shriner events for the Oriental Band, had PTA & Garden Club luncheons, employee parties, holiday get-togethers, surfers, football players and Young Life kids in our homes. During the “Vietnam Era” when 3 of her sons served in the military she frequented Five Points for her regular visits to Dr. Roach (her “diet” doctor) for her “mother’s little helper shots” to keep her going!

Holidays were always festive and a time for huge family dinners that ALWAYS included someone that didn’t have any local family (Dave Wampler, Junior Osborne, Tom Chandler, Uncle Bob, Uncle John, and of course Bob Crabtree)! And even though mom wasn’t the greatest cook (SHE always “over-cooked” everything—she thought high was the only cooking temperature) no one ever seemed to mind because there was always a full bar. BUT, she did have a few specialties. She made a “special potato dressing” for all of our holiday meals, Italian style chicken soup whenever anyone was sick, spaghetti & meatballs with hard-boiled eggs (poor-man’s meatballs), chicken in the oven, spaghetti with peas and a mean tray of “deviled eggs” (which frequently lead to food fights on more than one occasion-John). So even though cooking wasn’t her forte it didn’t matter because she loved to eat out—especially at the downtown hotels & department stores-- the Robert Meyer, the George Washington, the Roosevelt, the Ember Room at Iveys, May Cohens, Lebs, Brown Derby, Green Derby, Sandy’s Steer Room, Black Angus Steak House, Stand-N-Snack for a hot roast beef sandwich, Worman’s for corned beef, the Ritespot for fried shrimp, The Sea Turtle Restaurant, The Gourmet, Krystal, Orange Tree, The Beach Diner or shrimp & scallops at Seafood Kitchen.

And if you spent ANY time at all with her then you also know Sara (as we affectionately referred to her from time to time) was “a junk food junkie” and a “chocoholic”! (There was always a supply of cookies, cakes, & pies in our house from Goode’s Bakery in Five Points or Cinotti’s at the Beach.) But some of her most favorites were Peterbrooke popcorn (Thank You Seth & Brooke—Seth noted his remembrance of mom weeding her yard in her bathing suit in their condolence card!) Some of her other favorites were Coca-Cola, black licorice, orange slices, & banana split ice cream, which she sometimes was sly enough to get 2 servings of a night!—Robert would serve it to her after dinner, then John would come through a couple hours later and say “Need anything mom?” And she’d reply “Some of that ice cream would be nice.”)

Because we always had large homes and lived in Florida our door was constantly revolving with “houseguests” of family and friends from the north. Debbie, Les & I spent many a night sleeping on pallets so our guest could be comfortable! But most of them got paid back each summer when we would spend our vacations in Michigan at our aunt’s & uncles’ cottages where mom would spend most of her time speaking Italian, playing pinochle for hours on end, eating real Italian food (melingani, calamari & iga) and drinking her favorite Vernors ginger ale. The worst part of traveling with mom was she was a “meticulous packer” and she would put a layer of tissue paper between each item so the clothes wouldn’t wrinkle in the suitcase!

Gambling was one of the passions in her life! From her regular card games with her ”Syrian sisters” from the Salaam Club (they would start playing after dinner and they would still be playing when we woke for school in the morning) to years later with a new poker group that met at her house after most of us had left home. She loved, loved, loved the dog track, jai lai, going on “junkets” to Vegas, La Cruise Casino and of course her beloved BINGO—where she played regularly for many years at St. Paul’s, Knights of Columbus, and Mayport--where she & June would split a club sandwich!

Mom led a very busy 91 years! She helped at the Bar-B-Q places throughout the years and even ran the San Juan location herself. AND she also owned a Beauty Salon in The Roosevelt Hotel. WHICH was only fitting because she loved her some BIG Hair-tease, tease, tease & spray, spray, spray (Why do you think Les & I both became hair stylists!—We had lots of practice!) For years she had “standing” appointments with Bunny or Jeanie, twin sisters, in San Marco, Mr. Otto of Vienna in Avondale or Mr. Ron near Regency.

And believe it or not even with a busy family life she managed to devote countless hours to numerous volunteer activities! She was a PTA board member or president of most of the school’s we attended. Coach Taylor at FHS made her an Honorary Senator and presented her with own letter jacket for her work with the Booster Club. He even sent the football team to help our neighborhood friends sandbag our bulkhead during Hurricane Dora. At Hendricks Ave. she helped run the yearly carnival even after none of us went to school there. Robert recently found a Hendricks Ave. scrapbook (that was mostly about her) and we returned it to the school. At Landon she chaperoned dances—that made for a dull night. She was a Lifetime member & past-president of Duval County Council of PTA’s too! But it didn’t end there she gave just as much time to her much loved Muscular Dystrophy Assn. She was the first “Mother’s March” chairman in Jax., a board member & board president, organized and “ran” countless Telethons—which we all helped out with thru-out the years, went to annual summer camps, Lock Ups and organized the annual Christmas parties for the patients & and their families. Then somewhere along the way she got involved with the Mental Health Assoc. She began the Bell & Key Project collecting toiletries, was a board member & board president, and shopped for, wrapped & delivered we don’t know how many thousands of presents besides hosting parties, parties, parties for every holiday wearing lots of crazy outfits & hats. My brothers, John & Robert, will fulfill her final obligation of package distribution this coming weekend!

SO, so many events and activities meant there was ALWAYS a need for a new outfit, shoes & handbag for each occasion! She was very particular about where she shopped for her finery, because she NEVER wanted to show up for an event and find someone else wearing the same oufit! Some of her favorite shopping places were Akra Bros. (Five Points), Boluns (San Marco), Levy Bros., Purcells & Furchgotts (downtown), Katherine Wadsworth & Gladys Thompsons (Avondale), Lillie Rubens (Regency) and of course Joe La Rosa’s downtown for those custom designed handbags & matching shoes. It was Gram & Gramps and Five Points Men’s Shop for us kids. And in recent years she was a Stein Mart shopper!

After we were all out of high school mom actually re-invented herself and got “real” jobs that she was paid to do! She worked at the original Hope Haven as the Coordinator of Volunteer Services and at San Jose & Timaquana Country Clubs as wedding/events/Dining Room coordinator.

SO, when she wasn’t running at 91 MPH what did she do? And yes she had a lead foot—she was always running late or in a hurry to get somewhere!—guess that’s where I got it from! She laid on “her couch” and watched tennis. Serena Williams & Andre Agassi were her favorites. She watched old Hollywood movies and she read, read, read—she loved the tabloids! She had to keep up with the latest gossip. She had 2 favorite authors—Danielle Steele (Please take one or more of her books home with you today!) and local author Charles Martin. He was one of our neighborhood kids and she has signed copies of all of his books!

Mom was the quintessential matriarch! She loved to be surrounded by us! She cherished each & every visit with us OR her grand-kids OR her great-grand kids! Over the years we spent countless hours on the beach together. She loved “tanning,” but we think it was because that’s where WE wanted to be. We went to the Fair (it might have been the food—she loved cotton candy, candy apples & Italian sausage subs too). WE went to the circus, the movies, the zoo and concerts. She actually followed the Osmond’s bus to their hotel so we could meet them. We went to high school football games, to our brother’s track meets, to their adult softball games, the FL/GA game, fishing, crabbing, picnicing with KFC of course and spent many weekends in Daytona Beach. We also made many trips to the “duck ponds” at Five Points & on San Jose Blvd. And it wasn’t like there wasn’t enough of us around, she always had the neighborhood kids in tow too. She was “old school” and brought us up believing that “children were to be seen & not heard”, “don’t put your business on the street”, and “cleanliness is next to Godliness” (“So get this house immaculate by the time I get back!”). She was “quick tempered”, always sassy and NEVER hesitated to tell you what was on her mind! We laughed together, cried together, drank together, danced and sang together. She supported and encouraged each and every one of us in any of our endeavors!

So in closing, what was her legacy? You are surrounded by it—please take time to look over some of the memorabilia from her life. She had a gift for reaching out to those that where physically and intellectually challenged who others may have had difficulty approaching! She lived a life of selflessly serving others, and touched OH so many lives, but MOST of all she LOVED all people young and old unconditionally!! The last line of Matt. 5:48 states it best, “Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” Even if you had seen her recently or maybe not in years please take a moment to reflect on your memories of her and let go of those words you would have liked to have shared with her during a moment of silence.

Thank you for reaching out to us in the past weeks with visits, phone calls, texts, cards, hugs, kind words, and sending food. BUT most of all by coming here today to honor our mother! Please stand and join our family in The Lord’s Prayer!

“O Sole Mio” was one of our mother’s favorite Italian songs and our grandmother would frequently sing it too!