Mary was my stepmother for nearly 40 years.  Having lost his first wife to cancer when I was only 5 years old, my father returned to his hometown of Chicago and fell in love with another beautiful Polish-Catholic young woman by the name of Mary Bakszysz.  At the time, Mary was a vivacious and fiercely independent force of nature that wholly embraced  the women's liberation movement of the time.   She was well educated, strong willed and determined to parlay her talents and her passion for the human experience into a meaningful lifelong career.  She was the ideal, real-life representation of the Mary Tyler Moore character, throwing her hat in the air and ready to take the world on with a smile.  Through it all, she found the time and the inclination to fall in love with Howard, who was a force of nature in his own right.  Although, on the surface, they appeared to be opposites in so many ways, clearly they retained a deep spiritual connection as their undying love and devotion to each other spanned over four decades.  With all of this on her plate and having conquered so much, little did she know that one of her greatest challenges would be this little, shaggy, overly tan, seven year-old, wild hair, tempest of a boy….me.  You see, when my own mother passed, I was left largely to fend for myself.  Shortly thereafter, having adjusted to the lack of supervision, discipline and parental guidance, I became accustomed to defying authority, resisting conformity and dancing to the beat of my own drummer.  Despite the valiant efforts of my two older sisters, in no uncertain terms, my father wholeheartedly turned the awesome responsibility of parenting me over to Mary.  Basically, in essence, he told her, “He is your project now.  Raise him, fix him…be his mother.”  It goes without saying that this was a mammoth and daunting task that had been bestowed upon her.  I didn't come with an instruction manual or a “How To” handbook and there certainly was no money back guarantee.  She never signed up for this and I really wasn't part of the plan.  Nevertheless, like everything else in her life, she tackled this project with unbridled enthusiasm and supreme confidence.  My own passion at this time of my life was baseball and I remember that she would often take time out from her busy schedule to play one on one games with me.  She was the first person in my life who didn't just let me win for the sake of winning or because I was simply younger or seemingly entitled.  She readied me for the future defeats and victories of life and I am stronger for it to this very day.  She always stressed the importance of education and this stuck with me as I could always count on the self-satisfaction and continued pride of academic excellence.   As I look back, I realize that in the brief time that we spent together, raising me was far from easy.  However, being a father myself, I understand and now can relate to all that she had to contend with. The circle of life continues and I am thankful for all that she was able to accomplish with me and for allowing me to be a part of her extraordinary story.
 What was truly remarkable about Mary was that all the while she was serving the personal needs of family and friends, her professional ambitions never left her.  After moving to Florida from Chicago to be closer to care for her elderly parents, her significantly impactful philanthropic efforts continued as she served as the Executive Director of the Broward County chapter of Women in Distress.  Mary's compassion for others and her guiding light naturally led her to care for the dying as she served as the Executive Director for both Hospice Care and Hospice By the Sea Chapters.  Her untiring commitment to improving the quality of life of others transferred effortlessly to her roles as Director of Planned Giving for both the American Lung Association and Care USA.
           In addition, she was the Founder and first President of both the Ft. Lauderdale and Palm Beach chapters of the Association of Fund Raising Professionals.  The President of numerous Planned Giving Councils and was named as the “Outstanding Fund Raiser of the Year” by the AFP in 1997.
To know Mary was to truly love her. Always optimistic, fiercely righteous in her beliefs, incredibly caring and giving. Mary had the innate understanding and awareness of the human condition both in her anthropological and social work as well as in her efforts in hospice care.  She was a universally conscientious individual that served as a perfect example of an enlightened spirit that spent her life serving others.  In her later years, witnessing the reciprocal joy of her grandchildren from her own generosity confirmed her as a teacher, mentor and guardian. I choose to believe that this actualized her life's purpose.  To her loved ones, she does not say goodbye but rather quotes the Minnesota humorist , Garrison Keilor, much beloved by she and my father,  “Be Well, do good work and keep in touch,” as she graduates into a higher realm of existence.  In the end, she leaves this life the way that she entered it, with light and gentility.  As she stands at the threshold of the afterlife, she smiles, all knowing as she is consumed by the universal love that this transcendence has afforded her.  Mary, we are and will forever be grateful to be blessed with the gift that you are and have served in our lives.

I love you,

Jon 

March 4, 2012

Dear Billy and the Bymel Family,
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your wonderful mother.  She and your dad were very special people and always treated Jackie and me like family.  We will miss her and my thoughts and prayers our with your at this difficult time.

To all of the Bymel Family. Mary and Howard always put a smile on my face. They will both be greatly missed. Mary was an exceptional lady who I really looked up to. I am very sorry for your loss.
Sincerely,
Schiller Martin, Owner Tequila Sunrise Mexican Grill.

To my friend Bill and Family..Billy, your Mom was always so good to us when we made the long trip every year from Canada to sunny Florida. Looking back now, I can really see the hard working,fun, caring and devoted wife and mother she really was. I am saddened by your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

To the family of Mary Bymel: My heart is overwhelmed by the loss of our beloved Mary.  Mary and I worked together for several years at CARE USA.  After she and I left the organization, we always kept up with each other over the years - especially sharing our international cultural travels.  I will certainly miss her warm, caring and loving spirit to help people throughout the world.

Betty and I are deeply saddened at the loss of a dear friend ,Mother and grandmother  , the late Mary Bymel.
  Mary was a true lady and devoted to her family and the many friends who she held close to.  
 Please except our condolences ,
 Gerry and Betty Emm and family

Dear Bill, Claude and Family,     I just learned yesterday of the loss of my beloved friend Mary.  I am shocked and saddened. As you know Mary and I had plans to be together for a week in April to share our birthdays. She was my friend and colleague since we met in 1965 working together both at the University of Illinois and then with the Anthropology Research Team fieldworkers.  I always considered her my sister and I am feeling the loss deeply, as I know you are. She was en extraordinary humanitarian and a loving blessing in all our lives.  I extend my deepest sympathy to you and all your family members.  Sincerely,   Kay Guzder,

OBITUARIO

Mary M. Bymel

24 abril, 1940 – 1 marzo, 2012

Kraeer Funeral Home & Cremation Center

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