Esther D. Weissman

She was born Esther Dora Lunine. To me she was MOM. She was little sister to Eddie and Ethyl. Twin to David and big sister to Leo. Raised in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn she met and married Herb Weissman, Dad, in 1946. The honeymoon was a car ride to Los Angeles. The trip was chaperoned by Dad’s parents.

Our family life, as I remember it really began when Mom and Dad bought a house in Pacoima. Cost of $9,000 and they could barely afford it. Dad worked as a salesman and Mom stayed home looking after Richie, me and a few years later, Marcy, too. My memories of life in Pacoima and Arleta (to which our neighborhood was renamed in 1958) are unremarkable. It wasn’t Ozzie & Harriet but it wasn’t the Battling Dickersons, either.

Us kids would go to school. In elementary school I would come home for lunch every day. Mom would have something waiting. After school Mom would be there to take Rich and I to music lessons or Little League, if we didn’t ride our bikes.

The neighborhood was fun. Each of us kids had a best friend on the block. We played in the front yards or in the street. It seems we were always outside. Mom had her friends. Elsie across the street and Mary down the block a few doors. When it was dinner time if we weren’t outside the house Mom would call. If we didn’t answer another mom on the street would tell Mom where we were or when we would be sent home. It was a village.

These weren’t Mom’s only friends. She did bowl with them very week—she was a very good bowler. She could throw the ball half way down the alley before it would contact wood. She played mahjong. She was very good.

Dad became active in B’nai B’rith. So, Mom became active in B’nai B’rith. In this group Mom and Dad would meet several couples that became lifelong friends. Benny and Alice Merkow. Danny and Shirley Merkow. Stan and Gladys Ward. Jack and Ruth Ward. Stan and Arlene Cohen. I mention husband and wives because if Dad was friends with the male Mom became friends with the wife. Once she made a friend they stayed friends.

We moved to Sepulveda when I was 13. Different territory. Sold the Arleta house for $15,000. Bought the new house for $35,000. Priced like a mansion. Not neighborhood friendly like Arleta. But we kids were older. Rich was involved in AZA and I became involved a year or so later. We were also still active with the San Fernando Valley Youth Band. Now that Rich drove, Mom didn’t have to schlep us everywhere. Rich did. Mom just had to beg for use of the car. When I got my license she hardly ever got to see the car.

Dad was very generous with Mom’s time. He would host parties at the house. Mom did all the work. As our family grew and our grandparents did not want to host High Holy Day dinners or break the fast at Yom Kippur, Dad brought it to our house. Mom did it all.

As we kids grew, so did Mom. Rich, Marcy and I were all active in AZA and BBG. Mom became an advisor to Hatikvah BBG. She was an advisor for almost 10 years. She loved it and the girls in that Chapter loved her. When she left they gave her quite a tribute.

Back to the holidays. Mom’s favorite holiday was Passover. The family was too big for gathering at the house. As Rich and Marcy and I married Dad and Mom would not allow for us to have to make a choice where to go for Seder. All in laws were invited to their Seder. THIs included not only mothers-in-law and fathers-in-law but brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law and their kids. We grew a lot and very quickly. Seder moved to banquet halls and then to Braemar Country Club where Mom and Dad were members.

Seder, for almost 30 years was an event. Mom was hostess. She handled the invites and the seating. If Mom and mostly Dad had a friend or acquaintance that had nowhere to go for Seder, they were invited. Average attendance was 80. Over 100 if the holiday fell on a weekend. Mom would threaten our cousins that if there is one holiday they are not to miss it was Passover. The family took this very seriously.

Most know Mom played golf. She was really very good. She hit the ball straight. Every time. She was a fantastic putter. Dad and Mom traveled the US and the world playing golf. It was a passion for her. She was President of the Half-Rounders at Braemar and on its board for many years. That was where Mom and Dad met Jeanie and Arlie. They were golf buddies the remainder of their lives.

Mom was passionate about her kids then her grandkids and then great grand kids. She would watch the little ones and say “your father would really love this.” She loved it, too. There was a time in the past years where Mom had some trouble remembering my name. (Not surprising really. When I was young she often would call me Richie or Peppie (the dog’s name) and finally say “who are you again?” She doesn’t remember me but she knew the name of every on if her great grand kids.

Mom took care of us. She took care of grandkids, as needed. She would pick them up from school. Take them to lunch. Her joy was two granddaughters, Robyn and Kimberleh. She loved all her grandchildren but enjoyed great pleasure with the girls. At Channukah, she insisted on a family party. For the years Mom and Dad lived in Palm Desert we had the party at their home. She wanted to see her grandchildren open presents. She often shopped months in advance of the holiday and bought things she knew would be returned. Didn’t matter. She did it so there would be presents to open.

Dad developed Parkinson’s. Mom was a great caregiver. It wasn’t always easy and Dad was not an easygoing patient. But she did it. In doing so she ignored her own health issues. About 2 years after Dad’s passing, Mom’s health issues caught up with her. Her health declined to the point she needed 24 hour care. She didn’t ask for any reward or recognition.

Mom was not outgoing. She did not make friends easily. But, if talked to she was engaging. Once a friend she would not stop being a good friend.

Mom never said a bad thing about anyone. Never. If she didn’t like someone or something happened she did not care for, she turned away and left it behind. Two exceptions were Mom actually belted someone who had the audacity to hit her child. Once Rich. Once me, some years later.

But Mom could laugh at herself. She didn’t take herself seriously. There was the time she invited people over for a dinner party. She tried to make Beef Wellington. It did not turn our so well. She laughed it off. When she offered to make something else for the guests, two said “don’t bother.” Mom laughed. They were never invited back to the house for a meal. But remained friends.

I have to say that if Mom read this she would not be happy. She was a very matter of fact person. She didn’t want a large funeral or even a service. (Sorry Mom. It means something to us.) She just wanted to be buried with a short prayer said and be done.

When she was done with a conversation, she was done. I can count the times on one hand with fingers left over of any telephone conversation with Mom that lasted more than 5 or 6 minutes. Usually less than 3. To the point. Good. Hang up. She would want to leave a restaurant when she was done eating. Not stay and dine, as they say. Done with coffee, time to go. Until Mom was too ill to attend gatherings she would come to the holidays, come to dinner—particularly for her birthday. She would stay awhile and then want to leave.

Mom’s passion, besides golf, was crafts. She would knit, paint, put things together. She did not feel she was very smart or talented. She was wrong on these counts. She embroidered Tallit Bags for Rich and me and for each grandchild at his or her Bar or Bat Mitzvah. We all still use them to this day.

I’m sure I will remember stories and anecdotes after this note is done. Things like … well you get the idea.

The last 10 years is not Mom. She dealt with Dad’s issues and then her health issues. It was not the self effacing, happy, thoughtful, generous, family dedicated person I grew up knowing, admiring and loving. I miss her and will miss her for the rest of my life.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.gromanedenmortuary.com for the Weissman family.