Phyllis Friedman

Phyllis Friedman of Tarzana, California and Park City, Utah passed away Thursday, December 11, 2015 at the age of 72. The daughter of Rae and Addison Kantor, she was born in New York City September 1, 1943. Phyllis was preceded in death by her father and mother and survived by her husband Ronald J. Friedman M.D., their two sons, Scott Andrew Friedman M.D. and Mark Kenneth Friedman and brother Jan Kantor.

Phyllis was an extraordinary student. She excelled at the Bronx High School of Science before earning a B.S. degree from The City College of New York and then her Masters degree in Cell Biology and Genetics at Syracuse University. Prior to raising her two sons, she taught college level Biology and Genetics in Buffalo and then San Francisco. She also served as a Research Associate at the U.S. Public Health Service Hospital in San Francisco.

Phyllis Kantor and Ronald J. Friedman met on February 4, 1961 and married on June 10, 1967 in New York City. They were married for 48 years, living in Buffalo, San Francisco and Los Angeles. Phyllis was a wonderful mother and often reminisced, “raising Mark and Scott made me happier than I could have ever imagined”.

When the boys were grown, the joys of life continued as Ron and Phyllis traveled to more than 100 countries, enjoying the sights and sounds of different cultures and making lasting friendships around the globe. Whether it was walking with the penguins, chatting with the postman or sitting around the table with friends, she was thrilled with life. She lived an extraordinary life and did so with humility and respect. Imbued with love and kindness and without a trace of pretense, Phyllis was loved by everyone she’d meet. She reduced the complexities of daily life to enjoyable interactions and endeavors.

She was an avid book reader, a sophisticated collector of art and wine and a connoisseur of food and nutrition, yet her “vanity” license plate simply reads - CATS4PF. Yes, cats for Phyllis Friedman. Though her life was lived so large and full, all she ever asked for was a cat. Everyone around her now loves cats. She taught us.

Her kindness was bountiful. If you told Phyllis you liked her purse or shoes or backpack or anything else, within hours you’d get a knock on the door and it was Phyllis delivering whatever it was you had admired. The recipient had no need to be embarrassed. Phyllis’ smile and laughter made it clear the pleasure was hers.

Her hallmark was equanimity with a modest certitude. She’d remain calm when others might not. She’d handle things quietly and methodically. Invariably she would resolve the source of stress, then take no bows and seek no accolades. Phyllis was about efficiency and serving others.

For 54 years, Phyllis and Ron have been joined at the hip, the heart and the soul. She will be missed as a magical wife and mother. She will be missed for her active role in their medical practice. She will be missed for her infectious laugh, her rock-solid integrity and her flawless reliability. But mostly she’ll be missed for being an All-Star human being who did absolutely everything and took credit for nothing. It wasn’t false humility. It was true humility.

And now, like a Genie, she's gone ... but not really.