Martha Groenewold, my Mom, was an incredible woman.  I became her daughter through marriage not by birth, and yet I cannot imagine a more loving and caring mother than she was to me.  I met her on Thanksgiving Day 1963.  She'd learned from Ken that I would be home alone on Thanksgiving  my mother was a nurse and had to work that day.  Mom G would not hear of anyone being alone on Thanksgiving and so started our wonderful relationship.  This act of hospitality also testifies to the giving, sharing person she was.

I lost my own mother when I was 20 years old and Mom G was there beside me, helping me through a very difficult time.  For over 50 years she was there for me  good times and hard times  always loving, always accepting, never judging.  I find it very hard to imagine the world without Mom.  She is a person about whom it can truly be said the world is a better place because she was in it and everyone who knew her is better because she was in their lives.  For her love was a verb, it was what you did and how you lived, and she loved generously and joyfully.  

When in the last days of her life she reflected that she'd had a good life and wouldn't do anything differently, I realized that there was nothing I would have changed about Mom.  She was the best, most genuine person I have ever known.  

There are literally hundreds of stories to share about Mom that would tell of the person she was, stories of strength in the face of challenges, loss and pain, stories of laughter and joy, stories of loving and giving, stories of her determination to take charge of her own life and to direct us, her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, along right paths and in right relationships, not by lecturing us on what to do or how to be, but by leading us in loving, sharing, listening, caring and giving ways.

Mom taught me more than anyone else how to be a woman, a wife, a mother, a mother-in-law and a grandmother.  She had the gift of being able to support without criticism, counsel without bossing, and love unconditionally.  In the last week of her life she was still teaching me how to live.  She was able to face the reality of her imminent death calmly and faithfully.  I was not at peace with losing her even though she was at peace with dying.  When she said that we just had to face reality, I said something that I won't repeat in a worship service about what I thought of this reality.  Mom's words to me were:  Well, you just have to accept it.  I have replayed those words of wisdom many times in the past week and I will carry them in my heart for the rest of my life.

Mom, we miss you and will go on missing you.  You will live in our hearts and our memories as long as we live.  We are grateful for you and your love.  We will do our best to accept the reality that your time on earth is over, to be grateful that you are at peace with the Lord, without pain now and to move forward, living so that you will be proud of us for eternity.  
Pat Groenewold

Dear Mom, I have loved you, I do love you and I will always love you forever. You loved living, and your life. You lived your life to love all of us. You raised us with courage, persistence, compassion and understanding. You allowed us to make our own decisions, and to fix our own mistakes, as adults. Your faith in God was constant and strong. Indeed there will be a street and a house of gold for you in His heaven. Momma, I miss you...

The point of a funeral is not for the deceased.  We are not here to support or comfort Grandma.  She is at peace and no longer needs our support.  She was able to live in her own home until she had only a few days left.  She had her wits about her until she had only a few hours left.  She is survived by 10 and a half great grandchildren.  She told my parents, and I believe, that she had no regrets.   We should all be so lucky.

We are not here to comfort and support Grandma.  We are here to comfort and support each other.  Each of us has our own ways that Martha was special to us.  Whether as our Mom, our Grandmother, our Great Grandma, our Aunt, or our Friend.  And Grandma was something special.  

She would joke about spoiling the grandkids and sending them home.  My earliest memories include being spoiled in those ways.  When I was a kid my favorite cookies were always in the cookie jar.  I'm not sure if they were in the cookie jar because they were my favorites or if they became my favorites because they were the ones Grandma gave me.  But I noticed much later, that my kids' favorite treats were always there when we visited.

While she spoiled me in some of those small ways  I don't think I ended up spoiled by her in the negative sense.  She was always so giving, yet even at an early age I learned that when she did set limits it was time to say, Yes ma'am

We all know the golden rule, and I would like to think we all try to live by it.  But Grandma went beyond living it to exemplifying it.  

Love your neighbor as yourself.  That last word is important.  From my earliest memories she was so comfortable in her own skin.  Her confidence in herself and love for herself was something special.  And that the was demonstrated in her ability to apply the golden rule at a different level than most people.  

It seemed that, for her, loving your neighbor meant that many situations were not problems to solve.  They are people to love.  When she looked at them that way  things that would be problems for the rest of us would not be for her.  As part of that, she taught me that you don't have to argue to be right  and that being loving is more important than being right.

Which doesn't mean that anyone could push her around.  She had a way of getting her way without arguing.  I cannot imagine any of us wanting to cross Grandma.  You had to work hard to get her to be cross at you.  But disappointing Grandma was just something one wouldn't do.  

She had a way of making her will known.  She was never confrontational but somehow, when it was important, we would do it her way.  Once she reached that point all any of us would say was yes ma'am.  

Which brings me back to my first point.  Grandma was ready.  She was proud of the life she had led.  From building Navy ships to help win the war in the Pacific to raising a family.  She made it clear that she wouldn't change things if she could.  And then she applied that amazing will of hers.  The one that none of us would ever want to cross.  

We are here because we will miss her and we are here to honor her.  But make no mistake when Grandma had her mind made up no one would cross her.  

When she decided it was time even the creator had to say, yes ma'am

My dearest godmother, thank you for all the love you showed us. Your terrible sandwiches with butter I still can remember because they were made with lots of love. Rest in peace and I will see you on the other side. With whole heart, Joannie

May your many wonderful memories and experiences help you to remember the good times of her long, loving life.   My deepest sympathies to all of your family.  Roberta Spahr

OBITUARIO

Martha R. North Groenewold

20 abril, 1924 – 17 junio, 2016

Blake-Lamb Funeral Home

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