Joan May Merz

Joan May Merz (née Parfett), born Monday, July 28, 1941, in Queens, New York, to Reginald Parfett and Catherine Dittmar, passed away peacefully at the age of 84 in her Oceanside apartment. She was enveloped by the love from her family, soothing music, and her favorite belongings.

Joan began her life and roots in New York, where she spent her early years and much of her adulthood. On Saturday, June 10, 1961, she married Calvin Merz, and together they shared 63 years of companionship, raising a family of five children. She spent half of her time in New York before moving to California, where for nearly four decades she was a beloved part of the Oceanside community.

Not only was Joan devoted to her roles as a homemaker, wife, and loving mother, but she also pursued her passion for studying art. She went on to create almost 40 paintings in both realistic and abstract styles. Her work, known for its vibrant color and heartfelt expression, reflected her inner spirit and left behind a legacy of beauty and meaning.

Beyond her art, Joan embraced the pleasures of everyday living. She loved the thrill of an afternoon at the casino, the laughter sparked by her whimsical affection for clowns since childhood, and the calming presence of the ocean she lived so near. She delighted in traveling throughout Europe, found happiness in cooking and restaurants, appreciated a beautiful bouquet, and had a fondness for butterflies. She also cherished the comfort of relaxing at home with her favorite movies, television shows, and music, especially the songs of Elvis Presley. In the hearts of many, her unforgettable snorting laugh lit up every room and left lasting smiles on the faces of those around her.

Joan’s memory lives on through her sister, her remaining children, their partners and families, her grandchildren and their partners, her great-grandchildren, her friends and neighbors, and her beloved dog Shadow, all of whom will carry forward her love, creativity, and grace.

She will be remembered for her kindness, her artistry, and the love she shared with all who knew her.

Joan May Merz will be laid to rest at Eternal Hills Memorial Park, 1999 El Camino Real, Oceanside, on October 6, 2025.