Arlene P. Maxwell

Arlene Patria (Garner) Maxwell was born September 22, 1934 to adoring parents Wilbur and Grace Garner in Parsons, KS. An only child, her parents doted on her. During World War II when Wilbur and most the men were away at war, Grace and Arlene were each other’s everything, which explains the amazing bond the two held until Grace’s passing in 1997.

As a child, Arlene was taught many of the things a father might teach his son and, in fact, helped her father as he built a brick house by hand while the family lived out of a garage. Arlene recalled hauling bags of mortar by wheel barrow and being paid with a season pass to the pool. Even when recounting the lean times during the war, her stories of her parents and her childhood were filled with love.

For high school, Arlene made the trek from south Lenexa to Olathe Senior High School. Stories of a truck that was driven way too fast were often told as she reminisced.

At the age of 20, in 1954, Arlene married Robert “Bob” Haley and in 1955 they welcomed daughter Sandra “Sandy”. Arlene and Bob remained married into 1967. In 1975, her daughter, Sandy, gave birth to her first grandchild, a girl named Shelbi.

After her divorce from Bob, Arlene met and married the love of her life, David Maxwell, in 1968. In 1969, their quite unplanned son, Eric, arrived. As the story goes, Arlene called Dave and said I have good news and I have bad news. He said, what’s the good news, to which she replied, I wrecked the car. The bad news? I’m pregnant.

After Eric was born, Arlene became a soccer mom before anyone knew what that was. She was always involved: he swam, he golfed, he played soccer, and as his father before him, was very involved in instrumental music. She attended every practice, drove him to every performance. Through her work as secretary of many bowling leagues, keeping records by hand with Eric often reading her scores, he developed an interest in bowling.

Dave, Arlene, and Eric spent time in Kansas City, Plano, and Chicago before settling back in Overland park when Eric was 13. As music continued to be his focus, Arlene became not only the neighborhood mom, but also mom to all his bandmates and mom to his bowling friends. She was just “Mom.” Though Dave and Arlene split in 1987, she remained this driving force in Eric’s life.

Arlene’s time as secretary of so many leagues translated into her working for a bowling center keeping the stats. Who remembers the mimeograph paper and having blue fingers? Arlene did, guaranteed. Eric signed on to work at King Louie College lanes and they worked together. When he moved on to Olathe Lanes East in 1991, Arlene came along and they continued their partnership.

In 1993 Arlene welcomed her daughter-in-law, Joan, into the family with open arms. Given the fact Arlene and Joan’s parents (Jim and Jackie) were already friends; it was quite natural for Arlene and Grace to just become part of their family as well.

In 1998, Eric and Joan welcomed a son, Justin, Arlene’s first grandson. Arlene would often spend the day at Joan’s house with her good friend, Jackie, watching after Justin. Nana and Justin would have a special bond over games of Sorry, and War (cards) and trips to Sonic for shakes. Justin recently graduated from high school, making his Nana beyond proud.

In 2001, granddaughter Shelbi and husband, Brian Thompson, welcomed son, Ascher, making Arlene a great-grandmother. Ascher got to have some special time with his great grandmother when the family all lived together for a time when Ascher was young. Asch is now a teenager, free spirited and smart.

In 2005, Eric and Joan welcomed another son, Andrew. Andrew and Nana often had their own language of looks and noises that no one else understood. Not wanting to pull at her oxygen and make it hard for her to breathe, Andrew was reluctant to hug as he said goodbye; so, Nana and Andrew had thumb wars to say bye. Sometimes he would be able to twist his hand around enough to win, but most the time she would win and he would smile and say, I love you.

Arlene’s later years would be marked by some health struggles with COPD and afib that brought on a stroke. Finally kicking the cigarette habit, but dependent upon oxygen, she never threw in the towel. In those years, she was blessed to have her daughter, Sandy, at home with her. Upon Sandy’s passing in 2014, she moved nearer to Eric and Joan, and they all got a chance to reconnect.

The last two years of her life were not easy, but they were filled with love from her family. In 2016, she got to see Justin graduate, she got out to visit old friends and colleagues a few times, and she enjoyed a final Christmas with Eric, Joan, the boys, and the rest of the family.

Sadly, the COPD took its toll and she entered the hospital on February 1, 2017 weak and with a bad infection. Despite their best efforts, her body was too weak to fight another round. In accordance with her wishes, no heroic measures were used, and she passed peacefully with Eric and Joan at her bedside on February 5.

Arlene is preceded in death by her parents, Wilbur and Grace, and her daughter, Sandra. She is survived by son Eric and his wife, Joan and sons, Justin and Andrew of Olathe; granddaughter, Shelbi Corker of Gardner; and great-grandson, Ascher Thompson of Kansas City.

Arlene herself would tell you, don’t hesitate. Tell the people you love that you love them. Do the things you long to do. Love hard. Don’t regret.

A Time of Gathering of Friends and Family will be held 11am - 1pm, Saturday, February 11th at the McGilley & Hoge Memorial Chapel, 8024 Santa Fe Drive, Overland Park, KS 66204. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests a donation to the American Lung Association, 8400 E. 110th Street, Suite 130, Overland Park, KS 66210 or online at www.lung.org/donate