John Michael Howard

John Michael Howard was born on July 17, 1985 in San Antonio, TX where he grew up with his mother Kathryn M. Howard and his sister Christina Graylee. He died on August 2nd, 2016 and is now off on his forever-journey.

John was born with adventure in his heart, always seeking truth, always questioning everything. John lived and died on his own terms.

As soon as he learned to walk, John had a natural tendency to run far and fast. His mother and sister often had to chase him because he would get out of the apartment and take off running when he was still in diapers. His running ability made him a skilled soccer player, which he was for several years as a child.

As he grew older, John was somewhat of a loner who marched to the beat of his own drum. He loved everyone he befriended and was a loyal comrade to those who knew him best. He was a different kind of brilliant, unique and humble, never fully admitting the greatness of the talents he possessed, but quick to let people know that they were “noobs” in his shadow when it came to him schooling others at playing video games. In fact, his nephew Dorian learned the term “noob” when John taught him how to play video games when Dorian was 6 and John was 19.

John was a multiple-time champion at hundreds of video game tournaments throughout his youth and adulthood. His crowning achievements were at Super Smash Brothers and Street Fighter tournaments, where he would frequently bring home handfuls of prize money. He was a master of every video game he put his hands on, and he snickered in amusement when opponents struggled to beat him, but it was always in good fun.

John was honest and forthright in all of his conversations and interactions. He had a difficult life emotionally and financially, but his golden sense of humor, despite all odds, seemed to shine through his darkness. He was always content and accepting, even when things in life were against him.

John had a huge, kind heart and was always there to help others, to listen completely, and advise them with honesty. He was a free thinker, and although a non-conformist, he also believed in peace and non-violent progress.

John was a loyal friend and aspiring father. He deeply loved his son Ken Anthony Hawe, who is just a toddler. John was unable to spend as much time with his son as he would have liked, but spoke of him often and was frustrated that he didn’t have enough resources to travel to be with him, or to offer him more support.

John is preceded in death by his maternal grandparents Sophie J. Madalinski and Walter J. Madalinski, his aunt Jackie (Madalinski) Feld, and his uncle Joseph Madalinski. John is greatly missed by his mother Kathryn M. Howard, his sister Christina J. Graylee, his nephew Dorian Graylee, his uncle Walter J. Madalinski Jr and aunt Mary Ellen Madalinski, his aunt Margaret (Madalinski) Ratigan, and cousins Walt Madalinski, Matt Madalinski, Will Madalinski, Megan Madalinski, Crystal Lutz, and Joshua P. Madalinski.

Days don’t go by when we don’t think of John, when a song or a game or an image doesn’t remind us of the reflection of his life, flashing by too quickly. He will be missed tremendously in so many ways by everyone who knew and loved him.

In 2014 John was involved in helping sponsor a group of boys from El Salvador, Honduras, and Guatemala. He befriended them and shared many laughs and good times.

Besides his love of winning video game tournaments and helping others, John believed in peace, spreading love, loving others without judgement, the sacred art of meditation, self-reflection, and journeys of enlightenment. He was, in fact, on a consistent, progressive path of self-discovery at every moment. Because of his Zen state of mind, he was accepting of things that other people would not have put up with. He was tolerant and calm, and laughed in the face of difficulty and opposition. I try to put myself in his shoes to understand his angst and sorrows, and the best way I can interpret what I believe to be his most recent mind state is through lyrics from a song by Tool called “Reflection.”

“So crucify the ego, before it's far too late

And leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical

And you will come to find that we are all one mind

Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable

So let the light touch you so that the words spill through

And let the past break through bringing out our hope and reason

Before we pine away…”

May he find comfort there…

May he find peace within the emptiness.

We love you, John. Your light and your spirit will live on within your son Ken, and the reflection of your influence will shine through all of the people whose lives you touched during our all-too-brief bonding we call reality.

John’s family would like to share this thought with you: Do not lose sight of Hope. We are all on this journey of life together – to be there to support and to encourage and to love. No matter how difficult or hopeless your situation might seem, please know that there is always a light through the darkness lit by family and friends who would do anything to help you rest and grow strong and walk beside you as you begin your journey again. Never give up.

The family will be receiving guests at Funeraria Del Angel Roy Akers on Friday, August 12, 2016 at 12:00 p.m. with a Celebration of Life at 2:00p.m. Please visit our online guest book to express your sympathy.

Arrangements under the direction of Funeraria Del Angel Roy Akers, San Antonio, TX.