Trudi Tolen

Mary G. Tolen, known as "Trudi" to her family and friends, went gently into the night on Wed., Feb. 4, passing away in her sleep at her home as her youngest son, Rick, held her hand. She was 98 years old, and only two months away from her 99th birthday. Trudi loved life, and took great pleasure in the lives and accomplishments of her seven children, 19 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren.

Other than her family, Trudi took the most pleasure in her music, and was a keyboardist and singer for a band, both before and after the death of her husband, Al Tolen, who passed in 1983. She started her combo in New Port Richey, Fl. where she and Al lived for many years after moving south from Ohio, and continued to play later when she moved to Sarasota. Non-family members who heard her music remarked about what a "jazzy style" Trudi had and how wonderful a piano player she was. In fact, she always played the old standards from memory, without the need of sheet music. While her hearing and other physical aspects declined slowly over the years, her love of music never waned, and even after her band broke up, she continued to sing while accompanying herself on the piano and organ for a number of years at the Sarasota Friendship Center for her fellow seniors. She also derived a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction out of playing for her large, extended family on special occasions, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. All we had to do was ask her to play something for us, and she was off to the piano or organ to entertain us, and herself, at the same time.

Trudi was also a survivor, beating breast cancer three times as well as many other health problems. In later years, she mostly stayed at her condo, but enjoyed having one of her children take her out to her favorite restaurant, Der Dutchman. She also enjoyed the excellent home cooking of son Rick, a recently retired chef, who lived with Trudi in her Sarasota condo during her golden years. As she passed through her eighth decade and into her ninth, she continued to enjoy reading, and had excellent eyesight almost up to the time of her passing. She enjoyed watching TV, with the closed caption feature on, since her hearing was not as good as her eyesight. Rick took care of his young grandson Jayden at the condo while Jayden's mother, Alexandra, was working, and Trudi enjoyed Jayden's company and exuberance. Trudi's spirits were always buoyed by the almost daily visits of daughter Judi and Kathi of Venice, FL, and frequent visits of Karen, of New Smyrna Beach, FL. She also had occasional visits from her other children, who live in Michigan and Chicago, as well as those by her many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Trudi was born on April 2, 1916, in Mattoon, Illinois, the daughter of Mary and Thomas Coates. Her father Thomas, was a professional musician who played clarinet and violin with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and the original John Philip Sousa Band. Her father died tragically when she was very young, leaving her mother - who played the piano for silent movies and gave piano lessons, along with her brother Bernie, who worked as a paper boy and at odd jobs - to support the family during the Great Depression. She also had two half-brothers by her mother's first marriage: Merle and Myron, whom she called "My-my". She always got good grades in school and graduated from Mattoon High School, where she met Albert "Al" Tolen, whom she would later marry. After graduation, Trudi worked as a secretary until she and Al were married on Feb. 25, 1938, at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church in Mattoon.

The couple settled down to a happy family life in Mattoon and Judy came along after two years of marriage, followed by Tom, two years later. When Al got a job offer to be manager of a Gamble's Store in another state for more money, he quickly accepted and the family moved to Findlay, Ohio. The number of offspring quickly expanded, with twins Kathi & Karen, Ricky, Lynda, and Teri arriving after that to complete the Tolen family. The Tolens were a typical 1950's family - much like families in TV shows like "Father Knows Best" and "Leave It to Beaver" - with daddy "bringing home the bacon" while Trudi was a full-time homemaker. The family was quite large by now, with Grandma Mary Coates - who had been widowed twice - also living with them, making 10 in the immediate family. Al got a new car every two years in his sales manager's job for Cooper Tire Co. , which he had taken after leaving Gamble's to better support the growing family, and due to the seven kids always chose the large three-seater Pontiac station wagons.

Trudi had always harbored ambitions of playing the piano professionally, but they were put on the back burner while she raised her loving family. However, for a time, when the children were older and some of them grown, Trudi played the organ and piano to demonstrate their capabilities, first at Grinnell's after the family moved to Detroit and later in Toledo, Ohio, after Al was transferred back to Ohio. Trudi also sang with the Sweet Adelines in Detroit for several years. With the graduation of daughter Teri, the "baby" of the family and an early retirement incentive from Cooper Tire, Trudi and Al decided to retire to Florida. Trudi took to the sunshine and warm temperatures like a duck to water in the "Sunshine State" and was happy as a clam in her new tropical environment and very busy with her "gigs." There she lived out the rest of her long, accomplished, and successful life.