Jim was a dear and loyal friend and will have a lasting influence on my life.  I'll see you later, my friend.

It seemed like  the Costellos and the Tynans were half of the population of Farview Avenue when I was growing up. At least one Costello seemed to always be at our house. When my father would do a " head count" at night , he would sometimes come up with one extra person... usually a Costello! It was hard to tell the difference with the red hair!  One of my earliest memories of Jim was when I was on  a bus coming home alone from downtown Waterbury. There were some older kids on the bus picking on me until Jim came over and sat next to me.That was the end of that. He was already showing that  strong , protective and helping side of him. He will be missed. Bill Tynan.

I met Jim in the summer of 2002 at Barbara Hancock's home.  Jim was a friend of my husband, Bob, who passed away in Jan. of 2003.  Bob had not seen him in years and was so happy to get together that summer.  I now have a picture of the three of them.....Bob, Jim and Danny.  Bob spoke of Jim often and so I want to express my sadness of his early passing to all his Family. 

 We are all Friends of "Bill W."  
 
Pam Donnelly (widow of Bob Donnelly)

hi jim,

as i read the 'prayer for today' i am again reminded of your 30 years of  success in the AA program.  a program so magnificent as to offer hope and sobriety to all those afflicted with the very cunning and baffling disease of addiction. 

you made it, jim.  you broke the chain of alcoholism in your lifetime as you dreamed you could.  and in doing so you offer the hope of recovery to all of mankind.  how magestic a gift from you, jim. 

your story will be told and remebered in the AA rooms as an example of what can be to all who muster the courage to change.  thank you, jim, for bringing me to the rooms of alanon to support family members. i am humbled.  

please know that your family will be watched over and supported.  know that your legacy of courage will live on in us and will grow with a committment of gratitude to you.   

oh yeah, and thanks for coming out at 11 o'clock at night during a blizzard with louise to push my car out of the road when i lost my tranny -  2 years after being diagnosed with cancer!  oh, and thanks for driving that bomb i had to buy from danny through the sleet filled streets of wolcott with no brakes to the repair shop for me...yeah...the little things...right!  but that was you.  thanks. 

thanks for being a simple kind of man with an enormous message of hope and courage to all of us that got it!  love, maddy

Jimmy always had a smile on his face.  He ALWAYS asked how you were doing and never thought to talk about his troubles or woes.  He was generous with his understanding and really thought before he gave his opinion or made a suggestion.  He cared deeply about people and their struggles, always reaching his hand out to another.  Jimmy was a powerful example of How It Works... he lived the first 164 pages of the Big Book.  He was my California connection in Connecticut.  It was good to share with him whenever he went out to visit.  He understood California sobriety. He knew what I meant when I said it. I am grateful to have known Jimmy.  It will take a long time before I stop looking over to my right to see him sitting there at Friday night Wheeler, or at Saturday Wolcott.  He was a monument of  a person and will never be forgotten.. peace my friend...

This is not good-bye our friend for we know that you are with us all. The foundations you built with your family and friends are stronger than death. Little memories will make us laugh and sigh and remember the day. For some reason pistachio ice cream comes to mind. We will miss seeing you, but you will always be there, in the things you said and the way you said them. Godspeed!
Louise, we are thinking of you and your family. When you are ready just call and we will be there.

I truly do not know where to even begin.  

Even as it seems my heart will break with sadness, I can hear my father telling me "this too shall pass", and I am embarrassed to be so upset, because I know he would not have  wanted that.  He would want em t obe grateful for al lthe joy we shared, and forthe life he lived.

I think upsetting people was the only part of dying that my father was afraid of, because he always cared so very much about everyone else, and so very little about himself.  

I do not think there are words to fit the deep gratitude I have for the life my father lived and the man that my father was.  

He was, is and will always be my hero.  

I remember him best cover in grease rolling around under a car with his brother's Jack and Tom and his BEST FRIEND Danny, teaching me the magical secrets of auto mechanics.  

Sleeping, I mean just resting his eyes, in that old green rocker, the one with the scratchy green cushions and wide wooden arms.  

Shoveling snow, it seemed the man was always shoveling snow.   I remember one time he had to climb out the bathroom window to shovel the snow from in front of the door before he could open it.  

Teaching me to mow the grass, and drive a truck.  Taking me by the garage to see Mike and Danny.  

Towing or pushing various cars (usually with the help of the aforementioned Danny ? you?d think a guy's sponsor would talk him out of at least a few of the hair brain schemes that those two pulled, then again who knows what trouble my father might have gotten into if it wasn?t for Danny.)

Early in the morning, before the sun came up, putting plastic bags into old worn out work boots, so that the snow wouldn't come through holes in the bottoms, before he dropped me off at private school on his way to work. 
 
Telling the security guards at Vassar that he'd stand any damn where he wanted to stand to watch his daughter graduate.  

I remember the look of pride in his eyes whenever he talked about me, my brothers Greg and Colman, or my sister Chay.  I know that no one will ever look at me like that again.

For teaching me how to be a man, a brother, a husband, a father, a fellow among fellows, and for teaching me that I was good enough, just the way I am.

 I am grateful to his example of sobriety, not as a son, but as a fellow member of alcoholics anonymous.  He was a man that meant what he said and lived up to his beliefs.  I learned from him to always have my hand out to a new comer. That the price of a drink does not end at the package store.  That there but for the grace of god do go I.  That you should never say no to AA ,that when ever anyone anywhere reaches out for help, it is our responsibility to makes that the hand of AA is there.  
  
I want you to know that he never once tried to tell me that I was an alcoholic, or advise me to go to a meeting.  He knew that it was a lot more likely that I?d get him drunk then he?d get me sober.  Instead he made it his business to help as many other people as he possibly could.  

In the end it was some thing one of those people that he helped, Cowboy Bob, said that help me to surrender, and it was another person he helped, Jerry Martin that got me to my first meeting in Wolcott.  If it had not been for those two, and my fathers countless other friends in sobriety, I truly do not think I could have made it this far.  

What if my father hadn?t had time for Bob??  Or if he had given up on Jerry one day earlier??

 I know that I would not be here today, and neither would my daughter Isabella Gabriele, born 11/12/2006,

 
Ending the cycle of alcoholism and violence in our family will be his legacy.  He would be the first to tell you that he only accomplished this impossible task with the grace of god and the fellow ship of alcoholics anonymous.

The way he lived, is his example, it is his enduring message for us all, abandon yourself to god as you understand him, admit you faults to him and to your fellow.  Clear away the wreckage of your past.  Give freely of what you find, and great things shall come to pass for you and countless

I want to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I've known Jim for close to forty years.  He was an amazing guy.  We all have so many warm memories...a few years ago I stayed with Jim & Louise overnight and
we sat for hours catching up.  I remember sitting  peacefully out on the sun porch watching the birds while Jim made us one of his supreme breakfasts. He always made me feel so welcome and loved.  I was so proud of his accomplishments. I'll miss seeing his smiling eyes.

First of all, I thought I saw Uncle Jim in the Southington Walmart parking lot this morning!  I actually slowed down to say hi, before I realized it was some other 60-something gentleman wearing dungarees and a Teamsters jacket.  I have a feeling many of us will be having episodes like that for quite some time to come.

Well, Sis and I had the extra special experience of sharing a driveway and basically living with Uncle Jim, Aunt Louise, James, Chay and Colman our whole lives.

Boy could you triple count on Uncle Jim.  He was uber-dependable!  No task too small, no task too big.  Whether it was Poppy had fallen next store and we needed help (remember, this was house full of all women/girls), or there was a huge snapping turtle smack in the middle of driveway, or some jerks down at the pond were making trouble, or we were stranded roadside, or we needed a ride to the Durran Duran concert in a freak March sleet storm (yes, he drove 3 teenage girls), or the driveway needed shoveling, the lawn needed mowing:  UNCLE JIM WAS THERE!  No matter how annoying, frustrating, aggravating or just plain foolish of a predictament you found yourself in--Uncle Jim was there to the rescue when duty called.  A permanent fixture in our family.

When he finally had some time to relax in retirement, he was so happy to be surrounded by his family, down at the beach.  He loved to chat about things and take it easy.  He was a big, huge softee at heart who appreciated the simple things in life.

He loved us very much, appreciated our  work ethic, trusted our judgement and did whatever we ever asked him to do.

And...he made a heckuva mean meatloaf...dontchyaknow!

We'll miss him.  It's hard to believe he won't be there...

I am very sadden by Jim's passing.  Although I have not been in touch with the family fro many years, I did attend Chay's graduation from Vassar and saw Jim and Louise happily sunning themselves on the beach in Niantic in 2004.  He looked wonderful and happy.

My best and funniest memory of Jim was in 1973 when I had become close with his sister-in-law, Mame.  She brought me to her house on Eden Ave. to meet Jim and Louise.  Mame had shocking red hair then, as did Jim.  Jim, ever the jokester, introduced himself as Mame's brother, not her brother-in-law.  I was skeptical, but he insisted, pointing out that they both had bright red hair.  By then I was really confused.  Jim almost had me, until everyone dissolved into laughter.  I can still see him sitting in the kitchen as if it were yesterday.

My thoughts and prayers are with the whole family.  I hope to see you on Saturday.
Love, Pasta Fasulo

Understanding what the diease does to a person, let alone a family, I stop and wonder how many people over the years Jim helped. If I think about it long enough, I know that the one person who benifited the most was Uncle Jim. I had the honor to watch him "grow up" in the program from a monster to the one we all know and love. To watch him share his experience, strength, and hope with so many fills me with hope to help others. Thank you for trudging with us.
 Thank you Uncle Jim. Give a big hug to my mom. May god keep you. Your God son Richie.

Louise, Chay, Jimmy and Coleman love you all, your in our prayers, Rich and Gretchen

This is a stream of consciousness that Jalen, Jim's great nephew (Audra and Glenn?s eldest son) wrote when we asked him what comes to mind when he thinks about Uncle Jim:

?Hi Ya, Hi Ya?

The ants go marching?

?Dontchyaknow?

?Thursday Guy?

Green Soda with floating straws

Fireballs

Slim Jims 

Rootbeer Candies

Cranberry Juice

Freckles

Car racing

A hobbyman

Blackie?s hot dogs

Steak fries with vinegar

Old fashioned hot rods

Igloos with candy 

New England State Quarter starter set

His blue recliner

I love you, 
Jalen

I will always remember his kind words
and how he always believed in me when
I was unable to believe in myself.  
God Bless You My Friend.
My deepest sympathy to the family.

Rest in peace, Jim. We'll keep an eye on Danny for you.

Jim was a wonderful man with a very kind soul.
 As I sit here thinking of you Jim I see your wonderful smile and hear your big laugh. Jim would do anything for you. My husband and son missed an early flight from Florida due to the weather so their plane came in at midnight. I was concerned about driving late at night and the weather was'nt great here either. I called and without hesitation he asked what time should he pick me up. That was Jim a true gentle man. you will be missed. Hugs to his family.

I never new Jim, however I have heard his name mentioned in 'the rooms' many times. He sounds like a great man, and it's too bad I didn't get the pleasure of meeting such a man.  I am in the fellowship of A.A. and from the bottom of my heart I am very sorry. Thinking of how many lives were saved because of Jim shows that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous does work.  Nobody dies in vein in this program, he tought us all a lesson that can never be duplicated. My condolences go out to all of Jim's family.
God Bless You.
-Jay P.

Jim was that rare A.A.member who always had a smile and a hand shake and something nice to say. Even after buying Harold's Ford truck they still remained friends.Harold was my Father-in law and thought Jim and Danny were the best AA tag team since Bill W and Dr.Bob.I know we're all the better for having known Jimmy.He'll be sorely missed but not soon forgotten.
Sincerely,
Kuppy

The obituary is a very fine tribute to Jim.  I'll always remember him as a gentle presence at your home. When I visited, Jim was always gracious and charming to me and made me feel very welcome. 

In my experience, having lost both my parents, you always miss the ones you love but life itself and the wonderful memories keep you going.

Jim,
   
     You will be missed but not forgotten.
     I've learned so much from you over
     the years. Part of you will live on
     in me and in countless others.
    You were the most selfless man 
    we've ever known. Robin and I 
    owe you so much . We will see you 
    again someday.   
                         Goodbye
                          Dave & Robin

.... a poem for family and friends in mourning .... 

do not stand at my grave and weep;
i am not there, i do not sleep. 

i am a thousand winds that blow;
i am the diamond glints on snow.
i am the sunlight on ripened grain;
i am the gentle autumn's rain. 

when you awaken in the morning's hush,
i am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
i am the soft star that shines at night. 

do not stand at my grave and cry.
i am not there; i did not die. 
author unknown 

May our good friend Jimmy C. ... rest in peace...... 

in fellowship ... May God Bless!

As soon as we met Jim we knew he was a "real character." In our family this is considered a high honor. He was a proud Teamster who raised wonderful kids and welcomed our son and us into the family. Jim's heart was always in the right place. He will be greatly missed.

How I will miss my father! 

All my life no matter where I was in the world from out in the yard playing at 110 Ransom Hall or traveling on business in Japan he always told me, no matter what, wherever I was, if I needed him just to give him a call and he would be there. While I did not need to avail myself of this often, the standing nature of this offer always gave me a sense of comfort and security. My Dad was someone on whom you could depend. I really admire how he never complained and how little he cared what others thought of him so long as he was acting within his own principles. 

Though he was not terribly demonstrative, we all knew he loved us and was very proud of us. My brothers and I share very fond memories of all being small enough (and his still being svelte enough) for the three of us to climb into ?Dad?s chair? with him. He would drum his fingers on the chair?s wooden arms and it would sound like horses walking, then trotting, then galloping. It was a blast. He also made great rootbeer floats. To this day, due to his tutelage, while I still cannot drive a car, I can change a tire. And he could whistle! His whistle could be heard from the far fields and beyond and, while we would sometimes ?pretend? not to hear our mother calling us home to dinner, we never had the temerity to ignore my dad?s whistle.

A number of dad sayings come to my mind:

?You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you can?t fool me.?

?Between my brother and me, we know everything. Ask me anything.? Then, when asked a question, that was always his brother?s department though which brother to whom he was referring was never clearly disclosed.

I loved being told bedtime stories, and though he would often sing ?Somewhere Over the Rainbow? to me (I strongly preferred his version to Judy Garland?s), he would more often promise to tell me a short story which was invariably ?The midget said goodnight.?

It is a great joy to me that he took pride in his children and his life. He loved bobbing around in Niantic at Crescent Beach digging up contraband conch shells and sitting in our circle accompanied by various friends and family watching the sail boats. He thought he had done pretty well for himself -- an old truck driver able to have a beach house. I am inclined to agree.

A Loving Tribute to the Man I Love

I have enjoyed reading the tributes about Jim, though it is hard to read through my tears.
I sometimes forget, a little, in my private grief, that other people loved him and will miss him too.
 It feels so personal to me to be without him, the guiding light that always made me feel safe and secure. I wonder how I will ever get where I am going without his directions-although those short cuts he gave were often tricky.
He always said we were a good team and we were, whether building the stone wall around our old farmhouse, or disciplining the kids,  traveling,  dancing,  hosting picnics and parties for our dear friends and families, we were always together and I always felt supported and appreciated. What a priceless gift!!!
Jim always told me I was smart and I could do anything, buy a beach house, start a company,  raise wonderful children, and I could when he was right beside me. He would always encourage me if I faltered by saying, ?Oh, come on, you can do it. I?ll help you, whatever you need, you got it. ?
 He was such a gentleman for such a strong, tough man.  He told me once that his greatest accomplishment was breaking the chain of alcoholism in his family. He said, ?I?ve broken the chain. At least I?ve shown my children that. They can do whatever they will do, but at least they can see that this chain can be broken and I am so grateful that I have been the first one to do it in my family.? 
Jim got sober through his own willingness to follow the AA program. I like to say that my Alanon helped ?encourage? his recovery, but we all know that Jim is the one who choose to get sober and change both our lives in a profound, wonderful, meaningful way.
He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I shall love and miss him forever
I like the quote, ?That which is cherished can never perish?. That?s how I feel about my Jim. I am so grateful for the years we had together and our outstanding family and numerous great friends, He loved you all so, Danny, who was Jim?s sponsor and his friend he loved like a brother, Charlie,  Don, Tom, Art, Dave, Joni, Dick, Buddy,   just to name a few regulars. I know I?m forgetting people, but he truly loved AA and all the people in it.
No one will ever tell me that ?I?m the prettiest girl in the room? again, as Jim did every time we were out together. I loved him for that and for a million other things,
Thank you, my honey honey, for a truly wonderful life.

Good-bye Uncle Jim - 

I see you smiling and waving goodbye and now there is peace for you.

We will miss you and that little twinkle in your eye when you were telling us a funny story (of which you had no shortage) and the nod of your head when you delivered the punchline.  I can hear you from your "hiya hiya" to your "don't ya know," I can see you grilling steaks in the middle of winter for our Christmas Eve dinner.  Me and Libby will miss seeing you, especially under the avocado tree.  Our condolences to your family whom we love so much.

As I sit here thinking of you Jim, I can't help, but wipe back tears.  I'm thinking of how much I'll miss you.  You were like a father to me.  Whenever I needed someone you were always there to help me out no matter what the problem was.  I will always remember the rides with you and Danny D., the laughs and jokes we shared.  When I drive by your house I'll remember you whistleing at me to get my attention so we could have coffee together. I'll remember you sleeping under that tree.  
     I just want to thank-you for the journey I had with you.  I'll miss you, Jim.

                              Art Hinman

The final time the story will be told, I hope :) When I was about 10 not older than 12 I was sitting on the couch in our living room at one of the many family gatherings we had at my house and as I sat there I had the urge to roll off and back on without breaking the crosslegged way I was sitting.  I am 47 and still my Uncle Jim loved to tell that story.
Thank you Uncle Jim, you have been such a strong part of our lives, being there for us and expecially for your family. For Louise and the kids, love you all very much.

I want to share one story about Jim. A few years ago, I remember hearing about how he got free peaches for years from this peach tree he knew of which had the most amazing, huge, juicy peaches on it. Jim would go by it every day and take a few peaches every time he passed.

It turned out this tree was on someone else's property, though. Years ago, the owner had caught Jim taking the peaches and told him that it was HIS tree, and thus those were HIS peaches. But Jim stood up to him, said he was going to keep doing it, and just kept on taking those peaches.

When I first heard this story, I didn't know what to think. I felt a little bad for the guy who had the peach tree, to be honest. But then I heard about this German word, usufrucht, and suddenly I kind of understood what Jim was doing and that he was right. 

Usufrucht (those first two u's should have umlauts over them) literally means "use of fruit". It comes from way back when, when German serfs still had to hunt and forage for their meals, and that often meant taking things growing on the trees of land-owners (i.e., fruit). It?s come to be a modern legal term (spelled usufruct), meaning the ?right to use and derive profit or benefit from property that belongs to another person, as long as the property is not damaged.? Jim was just doing it in the most literal way possible. I don?t think he knew about the law, but I think he inherently knew he had a right to those peaches. 

When I think of Jim, that?s the Jim I think of, the one enjoying a peach which he knew he had a right to eat. I think of the Jim bobbing up and down in the waves at Niantic, doing the backstroke and looking very much like an otter. I think of Jim sitting on the porch and watching cars pass, nailing the make and model and just pausing to admire the design. Jim was a man who truly enjoyed the simple pleasures of life, and when he found something he loved, he made sure to savor it. And that is a most admirable quality.

Rest in peace Jim - wish I had gotten the chance to know you better - wish that I was acknowledged in this obituary, after all he actually had 5 children in total and not 4, I was his second son!

OBITUARIO

James Colman Costello

6 enero, 1943 – 17 noviembre, 2006

Della Vecchia Funeral Home

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