Glendene Eloise Alexander

I MOURN THE LOSS of my Mother & FATHER. There is BODILY Death… and there are MEMORY Deaths. I am now the only holder left of 78 years of MEMORY of my parents, grandparents, Great Grandparents. There are several LIBRARIES of memory that will likely be forgotten down the road. Mom in death, looked so ‘insignificant’ .. but she WAS NOT. Mom was the MOST SIGNIFICANT PERSON IN MY BEING. Mom Dean showed COURAGE throughout her life. Mom’s COURAGE is what I choose to CELEBRATE!

Mom showed COURAGE in old age, by reclaiming her APPALACHIAN heritage, as a self-proclaimed “Hillbilly.” When younger, she heard negative stereotypes by outsiders of Garret Co, by ‘tourist folks’ buying Deep Creek Lake homes, even by Southerners when moved with DAD. I ReCALL!

MOM RE-owned growing up a HILLBILLY. My MOM owned her BIRTHPLACE of SANG RUN MD, a small villiage on ancestral HOYE land along the Yough River, with the 1872 Election House oldest voting place in the County & Ream Family Church. Before it was settled by KINFOLK .. HOYES in 1700’s as Crab Tree Bottoms, it was a NATIVE AMERICAN Villiage site, called the ‘Sanging Grounds,’ for the plentiful GINSENG ROOT found near-by. Sang Run no longer exists on maps, so Mom can’t claim it on her Death Certificate. Now it’s a STATE PARK. My MOM grew up in: Sang Run, Hoyes Run, Deep Creek Village, Accident, Grantsville, Mtn Lake Park; and from young to senior age in Lake Mary Fla & Rockledge FLA, with my Father in a marriage of 56 yrs until Dads untimely death at age 72.

Mom showed KID COURAGE growing UP & being raised by Grandparent Hoyes during the depression. There was carrying well water, farm chores, out-houses & helping a GM with Diabetes. Mom watched as a kid, as her biological parents & siblings drove by the HOYES farm on their way to town. When her GGP Hoye did not own a car, electricity or indoor plumbing just up the Hill. Her father was lucky to work for the GE Power Plant in a small company villiage. No wonder Mom & siblings were CONFUSED on WHERE she belonged. The Reality was her Mother was clinically depressed by death of a child & could not raise her at the time. Or choose to later? My Mom loved her GGP Hoye’s. As did I.

I applaud MOM’s COURAGE at AGE 15, for REFUSING physically TO BEING PUSHED INTO her Dads car & driven to Pittsburg PA to put me UP at birth into an ORPHANAGE. Mom was sent back to live with her Grandparents HOYE, Vespa was the midwife for Mom’s birth. My Father, at WW II Basic Tng at Ft Bragg, was brought back to marry Mom, then sent back to recycle Basic again. I did not meet my Dad until 2yrs old after WWII, but was partially raised by his parents, GPA Lloyd & GMA Mary in Accident MD, who provided a home for Mom & I, till Dad came back from Germany. Then continued to provide a loving home for years. Always a safe, welcoming mountain home away in summers, to escape FLA shot-gun house with no air-conditioning.

In fairness, Mom gave up a LOT to have me – a scholarship her Dad ‘would have obtained’ as political favor, freedom & different future life. As I learned the details later as an adult, on my Birthday I always THANKED MOM FOR HAVING ME & KEEPING ME. It was literally MEANT!

I applaud Mom’s COURAGE to keep me to raise WITHIN A VILLIAGE of KINFOLK in Garret Co., MD. Mom overcame ‘shame’ of unwed HS pregnancy (almost), that came with an ‘apology’ for my being. MOM NEVER APOLOGIZED for my being. My parents were still teenagers & restless GI back from Europe. THANK GOD there were Grandparents, 2 sets of Great-Grandparents, & Great Uncles & Aunts & my Uncles & Aunts, their brothers & sisters to help raise me. While my parents grew up.

I applaud my Mom’s COURAGE for moving with Dad to FLA as young couple, to break the umbilical cord of influence of extended family. I applaud my MOM’s COURAGE for telling my Dad, when I was in 7th grade & lit’l Bro in 2nd grade, to FIND a JOB that allowed him to stay home to live. To end his ‘gypsy travel jobs’ … or else. HE chose to live with us full-time & found a job carrying cows for Swift, to sales routes with very few overnights away, to regional plant manager in the developing Space Coast. From shot-gun house to building 2 homes they made a good life and happy life together for 56 yrs. I applaud them for the COURAGE to WORK AT STAYING MARRIED. Teen pregnancy marriages often do not. Nor adult ones, till my Bro & I ‘got it rite’ the 2nd time.

I applaud my Moms COURAGE for going to work outside-the-home in the late 50’s, first on orange packing lines, to secretary & jobs only NON HS degree women could get. I recall her ‘anger’ at not having her salary count for bank loans with first house or first new car in the early 1960’s. I later learned, ONLY 10% of women worked outside the home during 1950s-60’s. My Mom also had to COURAGE to complete a GED while I was in HS, and also learn to swim in the 1960’s. Always fearful of drowning, she overcame it in order to learn to water ski with my Dad’s ‘unnecessary, costly, spluge on a small aluminum ski boat,’ & not frighten the heck out of us when she fell off water skis.

I applaud my parents & my Mom’s COURAGE for accepting & LOVINGLY raising her Navy Pilot Brothers daughter, when his wife was dying, till she was thru college & beyond. For living with the uncertainty of giving her up, when Navy brother remarried; then realizing the cruelty & manipulation of his 2nd wife’s refusal to allow daughter to live with them even a summer--while still remaining lovingly supportive & civil to her ‘naïve’ in marriage brother, who was always at sea 6mo a year, during classified flights over Cuba in 1962 & continual flying tours over Viet Nam during that War. My Dad & Mom were always supportive to brothers & sisters.

After our Fathers DEATH, I applaud my MOMs COURAGE for living alone 19 years, but independently longer than she should have. Mom was also a ‘stubborn ass hillbilly’ in refusing my Bro & I wanting her to move near one of us from 2012 till 2020. After a contentious, oppositional moving experience, Mom told young families on airplane to TX she was being “KID-napped.” Later, HAPPY she was ‘moved’ a month prior to COVID lockdowns for a year.

I applaud my Mom’s COURAGE for facing living alone as a Widow for 23 yrs. MOST of them gracefully. Along with her reminding me often that, ‘getting old is not for sissy’s.’ Which meant to Mom … weak folks don’t face old well, strong folks like mine who lived to 100 yrs had strength and COURAGE to face it. Mom’s goal was to live to 100, as her Great GP Reams & Great Aunts. Five did so, if U count 99 as close enuf for 2. Mom Died days before her own 95th, and on my younger Brothers birthday. So as our brotherly joke went back n forth about ‘who’s Mom love the most ?’ --- My brother Dave won the last round, and I think got to welcome her over.

My MOM had the COURAGE to live long to 95 and with Dementia her last 2 yrs of life. Aware of memory loss, but without complaint & maintaining her humor & pleasantness to others. I applaud Mom’s COURAGE & ability to teach us how to appreciate life with her in THE HERE & NOW… with dimming past memories. Now contained only in photos of the past. How Mom’s appreciation of humor & remaining capable of the quik-quip, often risqué, being the last thing to go. I have a separate funny memory of Mom’s humor, but a not ready for prime time OBIT in a newspaper.. But I add it at the end for FAM… who will see elements of Great Aunt UNA & Cuz Donna within the funny.

AS I mourn losing the physical presence of my Mom n DAD, & all those extended kinfolk I was privileged to love .. AND be loved by. I will carry with me ALL the MEMORIES .. and photos .. and our ritual goodbyes in her last years. I LOVE U ALWAYS AND FOREVER… and all the memories that will go with me in Death.. but IF WE BELIEVE -- LOVE LASTS FOREVER!

And Mom’s SUPPORT AFTER DEATH?? … after Mom’s death I faced multiple physical & emotional stressors in addition to Mom’s Death. I was emotionally & physically depleted with Covid again. In my foggy frustration I searched for my own Episcopal Bible Book of Common Prayer …as it usually contains a prayer for any occasion. I wanted it for my GRIEF & support. I could not find it… So after a walk & scattered prayers… I came home, looked again & gave up. Going over to the Window to look out in the dark, I saw on the tiny chair I used as a kid, an old tattered Bible I thought I used for my teen Boy Scout ‘GOD n Country Award’ (instead of Eagle Scout). I opened it to an old bookmark page that, to my surprise, indicated it was my PARENTS MARRIAGE BIBLE!!! Given to them by the minister who married them. The old bookmark was my Catholic school 2nd grade gift to Mom, that said in childish script “HAVE FAITH IN GOD.” I think Mom still spoke to me with SUPPORT… What do you make of it???

Mom is Preceded in Death by her Husband Dale, her son David Alexander, her parents Harland & Thelma Ream, GGP Vespa & Vernon Hoye, GGP Knute & Daisy Ream, many Aunts & Uncles on both sides, her in-laws GPA Lloyd & GMA Mary Alexander, my Dad’s brother Uncle Glenn, her brothers ED & Ron Ream. Mom is survived by her son Dale, daughters-in-law Janice & Diane Alexander, ‘adopted’ Daughter Renee Lynn, her grandkids Lindsey & Kaelin Alexander, Shawn Alexander, & Zoe Pellemans, her Great-Grandkids Layla & Davy; Grandkids partners Sal, David, Ashley and her sister SHIRLEY Ream Dewey & her family JoDene & Jennifer, her brother BRUCE, her Brother Ed’s daughters Amy & Georgie . Mom Dene’s family lives in Texas, Colorado, North Carolina & The Netherlands, Europe. And many remaining relatives in Garret County Maryland & beyond.

PS: A LAST FUNNY STORY ABOUT MOM’S HUMOR & ORNERY-SIDE --

Jan & I were honored to enjoy Mom’s company MORE FREQENTLY since our January 2020 "KIDNAPPING' (as she told passengers all around her about the 2 people behind her seat on Airplane) TO TEXAS! After a steady diet of our visits to her cottage, then Apt 1, & finally Apt 2 in Memory Care Assisted Living; After enjoying our company & memories together multi-times a week for first 3 months, periodic Margaritas & EXCELLENT ETHICNIC FOOD OF ALL VARIETIES & Jan's home cooking -- she agreed TEXAS was a ‘SMART MOVE SON!!!’

LATER ... Mom Dene taught us much about FINDING A WAY TO LIVE IN THE "HERE & NOW," & still surprised US with quit-witted, risqué quips, & enjoyed MY risqué jokes. Which my LOVELY, LOVING (usually fun loving "SNL Church Lady") Wife thought such risqué humor 'inappropriate' between adult son & Mother'... This extended one time to MOM's 1st trip to Neurologist for EVAL. While driving up to the appointment, We/I started talking about my Wife's AVERSION to the "F-Word" --- too often dropped by our adult kids & ME.... & ASKING MOM IF Dad, Grandads, Grandmas, 100 yr old Aunts ever did "Drop The F-bomb " in her presence? We had interesting discussion & some laughs. Including my Dad's favorite cuss words, or substitutes used by other Fam members with same meaning. -- After Arriving at young Asian-American lady Neurologist for EVAL ---- during Docs MENTAL STATUS EXAM of Mom, the professionally proper lady Neurologist, as routine part of mental status questioning, ASK MOM to Tell her ALL THE "ALPHABET WORDS STARTING WITH “F” SHE COULD REMEMBER?" The ASIDE GRIN & LOOK MOM THEN GAVE ME !!! --- AND Then OUR UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER for a minute --- IS MY CLASSIC FUNNY MEMORY OF MOM...so I share it with you !!!!!!

As the young Asian-American Lady Neurologist (who was Thank-Heavens native Californian) looked at us as IF we ‘both had screws loose' ---but still went on professionally without skipping a beat, but NO CLUE YET what the heck all that laughter was about ?? -- Then Doc bouncing back by professionally COMPLEMENTING’ Mom on HER ABILITY TO GENERATE SOOO MANY ‘F WORDS....' Leading to more laughter from us... cause Mom kept 'teasing me by expression AS IF I'm GOIN DroP IT!!!’ -- but never did.

At the end of the exam .. which also sadly illustrated visibly to all of us the growing degree of Mom's immediate memory impairment... I ask Mom IF I could explain our PRIVATE LAUGHTER .. which started Mom & I laughing again... SO I gave it a shot.. and to our relief, this proper lady Neurologist laughed, and said ‘WELL, I guess I picked the RIGHT LETTER OF THE ALPHABET!!!’

We NEVER HAD A PROBLEM GETTING FUTURE FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENTs WITH THIS BUSY LADY MD .. WHO SAID SHE ALWAYS ‘REMEMBERED US’ ... Well timed HUMOR, that let’s others in on the joke … does that….

Mom Dene Alexander will be buried next to my DAD per her request at the VETERANS CEMETARY IN BUSHNELL FLA on April 24th 2024. Dad bet the new VETERANS SPACE COAST CEMETARY would be built by the time he died. Sadly it wasn’t. Instead of watching the ROCKETS take off from Cape Canaveral/ Cape Kennedy where they lived 50+ years, Dad & Mom are listening to the quiet of this rural out of the way VA Cemetary.

Out of Respect for Mom’s Appalachian Scot-Irish Ancestry this ‘Old Irish Blessing’ will be offered at Grave Side:

“May the Road Rise to Meet You,

May the Wind be Always at Your Back,

May the SUN Shine Warm Upon Your Face,

The Rains Fall Soft Upon your Fields,

And Until We Meet Again ---

May GOD Hold You in the PALM of his HAND.”

In lieu of flowers, PLEASE DONATE money to the …

Garrett County Historical Society & Museum

107 South Second Street

Oakland, MD 21550

Phone: 301-334-3226

A visitation for Glendene will be held Wednesday, April 24, 2024 from 10:30 AM to 11:30 AM at Gonzalez Funeral Home, 7209 North Dale Mabry Highway, Tampa, FL 33614. A funeral service will occur Wednesday, April 24, 2024 from 11:30 AM to 12:00 PM, 7209 North Dale Mabry Highway, Tampa, FL 33614. A committal service will occur Wednesday, April 24, 2024 from 1:30 PM to 2:00 PM at Florida National Cemetery, 6502 S. W. 102nd Ave, Bushnell, FL 33513.