Darby John Shaw

Darby John Shaw, age 64, a retired Virginia Beach Master Police Officer for 25 years, recently of New Smyrna Beach, Florida died Thursday, April 18, 2024 at a Daytona Beach Hospital in Florida. Darby passed away unexpectedly but peacefully and painlessly from complications from an inoperable clot in his intestine. God graciously and mercifully allowed Darby to be surrounded by his wife Karen, his children Kelly and Brendan, and his brothers. Darby maintained his good humor and legendary sarcasm to his earthly life’s ultimate end! Born in Norfolk, Virginia to James Shaw and Katherine Shanahan Shaw, Darby and wife Karen had recently moved from Virginia Beach, Virginia. Survivors include his wife, Karen; daughter, Kelly (Jared) Abel, of Pennsylvania; son, Brendan (Kristina) Shaw, of Virginia Beach, grandson, Curran Abel, and granddaughter, Diem Abel, both of Pennsylvania; three brothers, Kevin (Laura) Shaw, Mick (Kathy) Shaw, and Teig (Melissa) Shaw, and sister-in-law, Donna (Andy) Harmond. Darby was preceded in death by his first wife, Cheryl Wilson Shaw and his parents. Darby retired from the Virginia Beach Police Department after 25+ years of dedicated service. Darby’s Catholic faith was a constant throughout his life. He was an active member of St. Gregory the Great Catholic Church and The Knights of Columbus in Ocean View and other Councils. He graduated from St. Pius X (’73), St. John Vianney High School Seminary (’77) and attended St. Meinrad College Benedictine Seminary in Indiana. The family is so grateful to Father John Tetlow, Darby’s lifelong friend and a Priest who came immediately to minister at Darby’s side at the hospital and graciously performed Darby’s sacred anointing. While Darby obviously did not become a Priest, Darby found a way to serve people compassionately as a Virginia Beach Police Officer. He loved and accepted people from all walks of life, showing humanity on the job on many people’s worst days or even in altercations during some of their worst behavior. He was tough but fair and loved his police career and his Brothers and Sisters in Blue and was widely respected and loved by his fellow law enforcement officers as well (most knew him as DJ). He was a “beat cop” that high ranking Cops knew could be trusted to train new recruits or share the wisdom of Darby’s dedicated, reasoned demeanor. His Pembroke area home was frequently welcoming or hosting “Choir Practice” or cookouts for his police shift or sector from the Third Precinct Division. That faith was challenged and tested when his first wife Cheryl was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Together, they valiantly and courageously fought this insidious disease 3 times, until it finally took Cheryl’s life at only 45 years old. They lived life together to the fullest and traveled together with their young children almost everywhere. Darby also had a passion for boating, fishing, hunting, music, sports, and spending time with family on countless trips and adventures. His passions were shared family passions. He was a devoted husband, father, and grandfather who the grandkids lovingly call "Daideo,” an endearing Irish term for grandfather. His name, Darby, is Gaelic for John. Darby had a huge and diverse circle of acquaintances that became close friends and family. Food and beverages were always freely and generously shared and he considered himself an expert grill master and mixologist. Awesome Dinners at 6 or 7 frequently became 8 or 9 PM or even later as fellowship and friendship always took precedence over the incredible food that would eventually follow. Darby always explained that expert grilling included allowing the delicacy he prepared to properly rest before being consumed. It was always worth the wait and so many wonderful friendships were forged in those unhurried times and welcoming gatherings. His family belonged to Boating Groups, Camping Clubs, Hunting and Fishing Groups and Fan Clubs of the Washington Redskins (NOT Commanders), his beloved Baltimore Orioles and their farm club the Norfolk Tides, ODU Football, and even NASCAR! His all-time Sports highlight was attending game 7 of the 1986 World Series to watch his then favorite New York Mets defeat Boston Red Sox in New York! The family owned several boats including NOTHIN’ TO PLUNDER, CHOIR PRACTICE and SEA SHAW and a Mobile Home over the years! Darby was proud that he taught both Kelly and Bendan how to hunt, fish, and safely and responsibly handle Firearms of every make and description. He also enjoyed Scuba Diving with Brendan throughout the years and took his Dad and Brendan on his Dad’s first Caribbean Cruise after Darby’s mother passed away. He was always the point person for the annual Shaw family vacations in the Outer Banks with the Culpepper and Shanahan Cousins. Darby was committed to keeping the generations of family and family traditions alive. He was the Patriarch of the family and fun for us all – always the peacemaker even then! One of the only trips he took alone followed a trip he took to New York City with his family in August of 2001 to meet his New York cousins, the Shanahans. The family toured all the normal landmarks including the World Trade Center, the Empire State Building, Ellis Island, and the Statue of Liberty- He loved New York and his New York cousins! Just a month later, the September 11th attack destroyed the World Trade Center’s Twin Towers. Darby and another VBPD Officer, Nick Russo, both took personal leave and immediately headed to New York City and provided security assistance to the NYPD for several days following the attack. It was a proud moment for them both. Every adventure they took on, they did so as a family! Darby and Cheryl got involved in their Pembroke community and both became politically active and were proud to help elect Delegate Leo Wardrup and Delegate Bob McDonnell as new representatives for Virginia Beach in Richmond in the early 90’s. Bob McDonnell was a young prosecutor in the VB Commonwealth Attorney’s Office and Leo was a Navy Captain who worked with Darby’s Dad and was well versed in budgetary matters. Darby also introduced the Shaw family to George Allen, a huge longshot to win the Guberbnatorial race in 1993. Darby considered his friends, Governor George Allen and Governor Bob McDonell, to be among Virginia finest Governors and enjoyed a close friendship with Leo Wardrup and his wife Gloria until Leo’s passing away in 2014. Leo honored Darby by flying a flag in Cheryl’s honor in a local sailing regatta after Cheryl’s passing in 2006. Darby crewed occasionally on Leo’s legendary Sailboat, Black Widow. After Cheryl’s passing in 2006, Darby struggled to be both Dad and Mom to Kelly and Brendan and keep the sharp focus he needed to serve and protect the citizens of Virginia Beach. While he was always extremely proud to be a Virginia Beach Police Officer, his family obligations took more priority after Cheryl’s passing. She was a wonderful mother, and these were big shoes to fill. Somewhat reluctantly, he made the decision to retire sometime in 2010 when the perfect time presented itself. That happened mid-year after a “muster” that cancelled all previously approved holiday leave and required an all-hands-on board crack down on illegal fireworks and beer in coolers at Chic’s Beach for the Fourth of July Weekend. Because he considered this to be a heavy-handed response to a relatively minor problem, Darby turned in those retirement papers and allegedly told the Brass, “Thanks but I’m done…you can find me on Chic’s Beach, probably with a beer or two in my cooler and enjoying those illegal fireworks!” That edgy sarcasm was mainly a small protest for the benefit of his fellow officers. He had willingly worked countless holidays over the years for legitimate challenges in Virginia Beach, but this did not seem warranted! In retirement, Darby turned his political advocacy primarily to Facebook for better AND for WORSE! It was his way of reconnecting to old friends and Darby made lots of new casual friends but likely lost a few friends sadly too. He was a fierce defender of His Brothers in Blue and had the proper respect for law and order but could call out bad behavior too. While Darby did not often back down from his opinions and beliefs, he was big enough to retract an occasional careless comment or apologize if he inadvertently offended someone. Darby never shied away from a great debate and cherished free speech, or as he jokingly put it, “their right to be wrong.” His good-natured Irish humor and world class sarcasm were right at home on Facebook. He readily admitted that no post ever changed his mind nor did he ever change a single mind of anyone else with his posts! Darby was forever grateful for the support from the Wilson family, his in-laws. Their daughter Cheryl was Darby’s first and forever love and Tommy and Audrey were wonderful grandparents to his children. After Cheryl’s passing, Donna Wilson Harmond and her husband Andy kept the family together and always included Darby and the kids in their family traditions and gatherings - so much so that in a wonderful twist of fate almost like a fairytale, the Wilson family had at least one more gift to give Darby and his children and the extended Shaw family. Almost ten years after Cheryl’s passing, Darby found new life and new love in Cheryl and Donna’s sister, Karen Wilson. Darby and the Shaw family were so happy when Darby and Karen married. They were inseparable and embarked on a new life with Kelly and Jared and the grandkids and Brendan. Darby & Karen would soon spend winters in New Smyrna Beach, new lovebirds and snowbirds! They both hated snow but loved the sun and the Orioles and Florida Spring Training and even found a group of local Redskin fans to join. They loved driving on the beach in New Smyrna, whether relaxing on the beach with new friends or fishing from the surf or watching NASCAR races in Daytona Beach. They ultimately sold their Virginia Beach home 2 years ago and bought a home in New Smyrna where they had been warmly welcomed to a great new community of friends, to fan clubs of their favorite teams, and to a great local church. We are forever grateful for the New Smyrna friends and the love and friendship they showed Darby & Karen. We know they will love, support, and comfort Karen in the difficult days ahead and going forward with life. Needless to say, Darby had a very fulfilling life even if it was unexpectedly cut short when God called Darby home, no doubt hearing, “Well done thy good and faithful servant!” Eternal glory in Paradise awaited where Darby enjoyed a great reunion with Cheryl and his Mom & Dad and countless family and friends. Among Darby’s final wishes are to be reunited with all his many friends and family again someday. Darby would encourage you all to place your hope and trust in God for your eternity as well. Another final wish is to thank Karen for her unending love, support, and care in the best of times and in some challenging health times too! Her love was unfailing! His final wish is to make sure Jared knew how happy he was that he found Kelly and how proud he was of them both, giving him Curran and Diem who he loved with all his heart. He was also so proud of Brendan and happy Brendan recently found Kristina to share his life with! And in the best of Irish tradition and farewell, Darby wishes God to hold you all in the palm of His hand! Darby’s Eulogy will begin promptly at 10:45 a.m. with a Memorial Mass immediately following, Friday, May 17, 2024 at St. Gregory the Great Catholic Church, 5345 Virginia Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, VA 23462. A burial will immediately follow at Rosewood Memorial Park.