Joie Kristen Cabal Abella

There are people who after many decades of life are still fearful of knowing themselves. Kristen, at only 20, was not. Her empathy and curiosity filled her with not only compassion for others but also an eagerness to grow into herself, to figure out how she could become someone who made the world kinder and softer.

She was in the storm of her formative years, a period in life meant for exploration and learning, and despite a lifetime of struggles with her physical and mental health, she faced it with unfettered hope. She would choose life, time and time again, even when she was scared, and create beautiful plans for herself in the face of uncertainty. Her early challenges with mental health made her admission into university an inspiring achievement, and when continuing health issues forced her to withdraw, she persisted and was determined to continue her journey through community college.

She was excited by introspection and self-discovery, looking forward to examining any, and all avenues available to her. Kristen wanted to pursue higher education in the humanities or library science or maybe nursing, driven by her desire to spend her life caring for people and learning how humans expressed hope and love throughout history. She hadn’t decided yet. At 20, you usually have time.

The road to her dreams was multidirectional and ever-changing, but, as long as she had her people by her side, she could make any path work. She was committed to enjoying the little things on the way. She liked to draw here and there. She loved to read and to write poetry and hoped one day to share her poetry with the world. She lived for good music, a good outfit, and a good laugh. It’s easiest to recount her life through her many goals and interests because her true impact is soul-deep, surpassing the expressive power of words. She was endlessly funny and witty with her own unique sense of humor. Jokes you could never think of yourself. She didn’t know how to act like anything other than her whole self, no matter what anyone around her might think. But she never had to be anything. We loved her just for existing.

In her last weeks, Kristen's health suddenly declined. She seized, went into cardiac arrest, fell into a coma, and despite the work of the best specialists in the country, never recovered. On Tuesday, Sept. 2, she was taken off life support and passed on at 20 years old surrounded by friends and family. Doctors determined she had a rare and aggressive manifestation of systemic lupus with which she had never been diagnosed. The rapid onset lupus crisis caused multiple organ failures, significant neurological damage, and potential catastrophic antiphospholipid syndrome. She fought to the last breath.

She still wanted to do so much, but she had decided that she was grateful to be alive, despite everything. She fought for whatever happiness she could get, and she would win because she was overflowing with love. She was so beautiful for it. We are grateful to God for every second we were gifted and pray her rest is free of pain.

Kristen is survived by her mother Elaine, her father Mark, her brother Joshua, her sister Marielle, her cats Efi and Jiji, and all the beloved friends and family in both the US and the Philippines who provided a support system in moments of joy and turmoil. Her legacy is one of tenderness, open-mindedness, humor, and boundless love.

Her mark on our lives is eternal; she is in everything, a part of who we are forever. A writer she and I enjoyed once wrote: after slow death, love must clean house, choose memories to keep and memories to let go, give each lamentation an ear to hear, a heart to lay rest, let no soul forget an eternity of desire awaits. Kristen, may you dwell in the stillness of eternal peace, cradled in the arms of our Lord. Farewell for now, until the day we meet again, where sorrow is no more, and love never ends.

A visitation for Joie Kristen will be held Tuesday, September 9, 2025, from 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM at Rosewood-Kellum Funeral Home, 601 North Witchduck Road, Virginia Beach, VA 23462. A funeral service will be held on Wednesday, September 10, 2025, at 10:00 AM, at Rosewood-Kellum Funeral Home. Burial will follow in Princess Anne Memorial Park.