Loretta Marie Van Schoyck

It pains me to admit, but if you are reading this, then I Loretta (Kabat) Van Schoyck passed away. Knowing that no one lives forever, but I did not think it would be so soon. One thing I have learned in my short 65 years is time passes in the blink of an eye and goes by ever so quickly. I urge every one of you to always do your best, follow your heart and listen to your gut as it never steered me wrong! Ok, yeah, my first marriage…disaster! Whenever we do make mistakes, learn from them!!!

On November 30,1960 my parents, Andrew and Mae Kabat celebrated my birth! They had not decided on any name yet, so I was nameless. My dad was with his friends doing way too much celebrating my birth at Stan & Joe’s Bar in Wyandotte, Michigan. So much so, Dad wanted to name me John Henry. This is where life started with just a tad of disappointment…was supposed to be a boy. As the story is told by my mother…she stated “HELL NO” there is no way we are calling that gorgeous, perfect, beautiful baby girl John Henry. My mom admired the actress Loretta Young and thus my name.

My life started in downriver of Detroit Michigan, a small town of Lincoln Park in a small 800 sq. ft. bungalow. Our shower was a hula hoop with a round shower curtain with a hose that ran from the laundry tub in the basement over a drain. Dad could jury-rig anything! Fix anything! Times seemed so much simpler then…playing with friends, riding my bike until dark and Mom yelling at me to come inside. You do not know at the time you are creating memories, it seemed so insignificant at the time. But as I have gotten older, memories have taken on much greater importance to me. These memories that I am taking with me are more precious and have more value than any money in my purse or gold and silver in my jewelry chest.

Memories…where does one begin? I remember all the great times I had at my Aunties house. She had 11 kids and yes, she birthed them all. It could get a little chaotic when you have 12 kids running in the house playing games. When we entered the house, you had to take off your shoes and throw them in the pile. When we went back outside it turned into a donnybrook. You were lucky to get your shoes. I learned very quickly not to take off my shoes at my Auntie's home! I really loved dancing in my basement or in my room under the poster of Donny Osmond and Bobby Sherman. That led to me becoming an aerobics instructor for over a decade. Many weekends were spent up in northern Michigan (hold your left out and right by the pinky and ring finger….MI folks get this) skidoo’s, dirt bikes, boat rides, fishing, or heading south to West Virginia to ride the pony that Grandpa got me, fishing…anything outside! College…not for me. Did vocational travel school….my passion until my dying breath. If I was not on a trip, I was planning one! All I wanted to do was see the world. It is the love of travel that took me to the best years of my life.

While working on site as a VIP/International Travel/Event Planner coordinator (in the Detroit area) I saw this cool drink of water walk by my office. DAM! Took my breath away. We talked often and I knew he was interested in me but he never asked me out. I figured he was playing “hard to get.” So, I later found the courage to ask him out...My husband Howard! The first date (“the interview” as he put it) led to 33 years together, 22 married. Yeah, he kicked the tires for 11 years and he liked it! Those years are my most cherished memories! He showed me the world. We lived in four different countries throughout his career, Australia, Belgium, Sweden, and Switzerland. In 2010 we decided to retire to Florida. Most people’s golden years are spent on a golf course, on a beach (had many of those), traveling and with friends. Cancer managed to sneak in…tried to steal our joy. Howard won his battle in 2010 while I lost my 13-year battle!

So, in the end, I had no buildings named after me (maybe a bar stool), no monuments erected in my honor, but I did get the chance, the luck, the blessing to love the most wonderful husband any woman could ever have asked for! He lived up to his wedding vows of “in sickness and in health” to the end! He was my rock or as my cousin Mary calls him “Mr. Rushmore”.

A life graced by wonderful friends…some were for life, some for the moment/country we lived in, some for a reason/season. Cheers to those who tolerated the most high maintenance bitch in the bunch! How much more blessed could one person be? Okay, I am not complaining but could have done without cancer for the last 13 years! Trust me that part sucked!

Most importantly don’t cry because I am gone instead be happy that I was here. Be extra happy if you get a call from my attorney! LOL. A girl has to have the last laugh!

Seriously, I hate that I am leaving the best husband ever! Ladies, I may have ruined him for you. Better know how to cook because I am taking my recipes with me! My dear cousin, Mary Bulzan, whom I love dearly, who I grew up with and have aged gracefully as long as we do not have our glasses on. Friends that have stood by me for years, some more than others but each brought something to the party…trust me we partied but only till 9pm! Love you Michelle Conforti, Cindy Yassay and Trudee Hines.

Cremation will be done by Fero Funeral Home, Beverly Hills, Florida.

In lieu of flowers please feed my husband. A casserole a week would be nice to keep him nourished. If that is not possible, please consider a donation to a Breast Cancer charity. My girls killed me in the end! While small they were fierce!

This is Howard. Loretta left me this in a folder with her obituary. I am sharing this with you as it is an example of who she was. She was a loving woman who I treasured. Her laughter, fierce spirit, and her unwavering optimism will echo in my heart for years to come. Loretta had a way of finding joy in every moment and tried making those around her feel special and valued. I will miss her immensely.

She is Gone

You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her, or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she wants.

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

By David Harkings