David Patrick Lindsay

Dictated to Richard Green

I got a call the other day from David. He said to me, “Hey, I’m going to get a head start.” I replied, head start to where? He said, “To heaven-” I paused and said, What do you mean? He said, “Write this down for me and share my request with everyone.” So I grabbed a pen and said, go ahead, I’m ready: he started, “First and foremost, tell my wife I’m leaving to heaven but I love her and I will have everything ready for her when she arrives,” as he chuckles, “Even though she won’t be there for another 40 years or 50 years from now but I will patiently wait. Now that I’m healthy, I have plenty of work I can do again. You know how I hate being stuck in the house. Tell my friends and family, I will be waiting for them slowly as they come, also tell them ‘drinks are on me.’ Just don’t let Rosa know because between her and God, I will be in big trouble. Make sure no one cries or weeps because you know us strong German men do not like weak people. We are tough on the outside yet so loveable on the inside. So don’t show weakness. Last but not least, celebrate for me and don’t mourn, for God has given me no pain, no stress, and a new heart that is very strong to make it through anything. No need for a ‘doggone’ transplant list because Jesus Christ said he has everything under control.

-And sign this letter,

Sincerely,

Mr. David L.

A.K.A. the Registered Republican

-So they know its official”