Arthur "Art" Weber

WEBER, ARTHUR (Art), 65, of Miami, FL died Wednesday, June 13. Born in Brooklyn, NY, he went on to practice accounting and served as the chief financial officer for several companies. He moved to Miami 35 years ago where he met, Sue, his beloved wife of 31 years. He is also survived by his children Brian & Lauren, and sister Carole Weiss. As an inspiration to his doctors, he valiantly fought an array of cancers for 3 years and lived to celebrate his son’s graduation from medical school and daughter’s entrance into law school. He will be greatly missed by his family and friends who knew and loved him. Services will be held on Friday, June 15 at 1:30 at Riverside-Gordon at Mt. Nebo Kendall: 5900 SW 77 Avenue Miami, FL 33173

For my father:

Dad, I’ve written a lot of things in my life, but this, by farrrrrr has been the toughest. What do you say to the most important person in your life? How do I tell you, in such a short message, all the ways in which you touched my life, mesmerized me in awe, and changed the world. You were never just my father or my best friend. You were my hero. And I know that may sound trite, because all sons say that about their Dads, so I’ll take it a step further. Dad, I know you already know this, but, I literally worship you, and every piece of ground you walk on. And not just most aspects of you and your character – everything about you.

After you first got sick, I took it very hard, and naturally went to a number of therapists, but only a session here, two sessions there, never anything that really lasted because they all said the same thing – that I loved you too much, and that it was unhealthy. You and I got a good laugh out of that, the hell with them, they don’t understand our relationship, and they’ll certainly never comprehend our bond. Let’s be honest, you laughed at me from the get go. “You don’t see me going to a shrink,” you had told me, “and I’m the one that’s dying… All we need is each other.” And you’re right, you’re all I’ve ever needed in this world to stay strong, and to carry on. And now, somehow, I’ve gotta figure out a way to push forward with all of your teachings and convictions that you’ve instilled in me, and hope one day I will measure up to become half the man that you are. To become the man you taught me to be. To become as you always put it, the lone ranger, and the whole package.

You know it’s funny, during all of our roasting sessions making fun of these therapists, you did ask me a question repeatedly that has never left me… “Brian, why the hell do you like me so much, I don’t understand why you idolize me, what have I ever done that’s so great, I don’t want you to be so upset when I go, believe me I’m not that wonderful” and so on and so forth.

Well, I’m here to tell you Dad, you are that great, and while I’ll never be able to enumerate the infinite number of reasons why, I’m damn sure gunna try.

First off, you’re the coolest son of BLEEP around. Sooo comfortable in your own skin. If I could be you during your prime for a year, or even just a day, versus Brad Pitt during his prime, I choose you, hands down, welllllll, Brad Pitt a very close second. Hell, I take you at 60 years old versus BP at 30, and I’m ABSOLUTELY serious. I have never met anyone in my life with such quiet confidence, firm poise, and playful certainty. I absolutely loved showing you off to friends, girlfriends, employers, teachers, friend’s parents, and girlfriend’s parents. Always immediately loved by everyone. Even more importantly, i LOVED just watching you, observing you at parties… or any social situation. You were always the friendliest guy around, but not in the phony, diplomatic, politician sense. You never tried to ham it up in public, you were never TRYING to be liked or TRYING to make new friends, you’ve never simply told people exactly what they wanted to here, you don’t immediately and purposefully and intentionally make people feel like you’re their best friend on the first encounter just so you can be more well-liked… you didn't care if you were the center of attention or if no one heard you speak at all, you were just you. Take it or leave it, and everyone always took it. People can sense your silent assurance protecting them, and they gravitate towards you, they can feel your genuine warmth blanketing them, and they wanna hear what Art's gotta say. You once told me to make it in the business world you gotta have the gift of gab, you gotta know how to talk to people, and you would give me a list of names of guys we both knew to illustrate your point, but to be honest Dad, you were always better than all of them, some guys on your list were genuine… but forced, scripted, and over the top, while the others were all downright diplomatic, fake, and forged. In my opinion Dad, YOU are the most shining example of all.

People often tell me I have a very dominant personality, and I think it’s because I have to be the center of attention when in a large group of people. I have always had a strong need to make people laugh, to be entertaining, to be affable, to be liked, and I always try very hard to do so, you don't TRY to do anything, it simply always happens naturally. It is so difficult to characterize your personality, because while I KNOW you’re better than everyone else, you don’t think like that, those sorts of notions never cross your mind. No one would ever call you arrogant, self-absorbed, or contemptible, it was always Art, oh yeah, love him, he’s a great guy, and for over 28 years, I had that great guy all to myself.

Secondly Dad, I admire and even envy your pure and unbridled love of life, and all things big and small. Dad, you epitomized the caricature of a simple man with simple pleasures. You always told me you had only 3 loves in life: the miami dolphins, tracking hurricanes during hurricane season, and managing your stocks in tandem with watching your favorite channel, CNBC. Add a 4th to that list being the Miami heat once we got dwyane wade. You really did take your simplicity to the next level though. WHAT DID YOU WEAR LIKE two shirts maybe, that’s being generous, two pairs of shorts, one pair of loafers, I feel like your all your underwear had holes in em. Even your proverbial two shirts and two shorts probably had holes in em. And mom, being the fashion sensible shop-aholic she is, would buy u new clothes EVERYDAY and they would sit in the closet for years, never worn. You had a million other clothes, but it was always “Ehhh they're not as good as mine, I like my clothes better.” Mom bought you new balance shoes, but, “I like my old balance” is what she’d get outta you. You drove a couple different luxury cars as I was growing up, only b/c mom forced you to, but over the years she realized she could never change you, and you eventually regressed to the Art Weber way, of driving the most unappealing car you could find. This did not please mom at all. But, I knew you liked those cars better, because they didn’t have too many features and buttons, they were simpler, just like Art Weber liked ‘em. But, in addition, I also truly believe in some sick and twisted way, you got off on having those cars. Pulling into a parking lot of some function you’d say “Hey bri, you see these two guys right here, I’ve brokered a couple of deals with them before, I’m gunna park right in between his bentley and his lexus” and with a big victorious smile on your face, you got outta the car “hey fellas, how you doin.” They say you shouldn’t worry about what others think, well you are the quintessential embodiment of this ideal. You literally try to impel others to judge you, and you love every minute of it. Dad, your sense of happiness and well-being is so effortless, straight-forward, uncomplicated, and undeniable. It shakes me to the very core because I can’t understand it, but I want it so badly. Always smiling, even in the worst of times, and I would probe you interminably, Dad, tell me, please, what’s your secret: “what do i have to be sad about i got two beautiful healthy children, i got a beautiful healthy wife, the dolphins game is on tomorrow, i'm the luckiest guy in the world.” I want that eternal bliss, that happiness, that state of nirvana better than even the Dalai Lama has.

This is why growing up I went to you for most of my dilemmas. Mom was always the touchy feely one who would constantly ask me about my problems to make sure I was okay. You on the other hand told me exactly what I needed to hear. Ahhh come on, this is nothing. What are you upset about. Suck it up. Be a man. Bri, life’s gunna get a lot tougher than this. Bri, you want problems, live another two or three decades, if you can’t handle this you’re gunna be in for a real wake up call when u get older… You said these things not because you didn't care or because you were a lazy parent, but because you knew it's what i needed to hear. And it’s not that us weber’s aren’t touchy feely emotional guys, on the contrary, you were an extremely emotional, deep, and gentle man, but you knew you were my rock, my solid boulder of consistency, the gentle giant, the big guy. And I been callin’ you big guy way before owen Wilson popularized the phrase when he said it to vince Vaughn in wedding crashers. But I have always meant it in the exact same manner as the movie, you were my own big guy… I need the big guy… I needed you for everything, and you were always there for me, always ready for anything, always at my side. And as I said before, I never saw you unhappy or unnerved, but I gotta qualify that statement, the ONLY times I ever saw you lose yourself, were when I was in serious trouble. Usually if I called you upset you would give me the man to man talk, but if I was actually crying, or in some sort of distress it was, “I’m getting on a plane right now to north Carolina, or tampa, or Europe” or wherever, and you really meant it Dad. “Bri are you gunna do something to hurt yourself!?” “Noooo Dad of course not!!” “well im not getting off this phone till you stop crying” “ahh Dad come on, gimme a break” “we’ll talk all night if we have to Bri!!” ORRRR there was always “Did you get mugged, are you lost, where are you” “dad it’s four in the morning, I’m sleeping and I’m fine” “Alright, that’s it, I’m getting on a plane” …like you thought you were liam neeson from the movie Taken. But, believe me Dad, I KNOW you would have been better than liam neeson if anything serious actually DID happen to me… Im all that matters to you, and nothing comes in between you and your boy.

And Dad, I love you too. I love you also for who YOU are, not because of how much you love me. And definitely not for all that you've done for me. Now, with that said, you’ve done A LOT. Remember how you’d tell me you had 3 or 4 loves in life, well there’s a 5th one you forgot about which trumps all the rest, your family. No one loved his kids or family as much as you. You sacrificed everything for your wife and children. You had absolutely nothing (granted I don’t think you really mind it at all) while you gave us everything. But what I’ll remember most is not the material things you gave me, but all of your time and all of your attention. I know you considered me your best friend just as I thought of you. You loved just hanging out with me. Home for dinner every night so you could see your son. And as a toddler and pre-teen you would sing to me every night the repertoire (red red robin, take me out to the ball game, you are my sunshine, and alef bet vet, and with all those songs, if you didn't know the words halfway through [which you never did] you used your filler… dee de de da deee. And if it wasn’t a song, it was a bedtime story about you and your childhood buddies, from your elementary school days. And I can still name the whole Brooklyn crew… heimey shapiro, larry schrednick, freddie blum, iriving benjamin, and even rabbi shinamin. Stories I’ll never forget. Then as I got older you introduced me to Seinfeld and Saturday night live and we would recite the lines over and over wherever we went (much to mom’s chagrin) in addition to a million other little jewish sayings and inside jokes we had. And then as I got older and mom got me a job at her school nearby your office in the gables, you were so happy I was less than 10 minutes away. You would call me all the time. “Lunch, just me and you, casola’s pizza, let’s get a slice, I’ll pick you up in an hour.” Those were the best lunches of my life.

You not only cherished my company but you reveled in my accomplishments. You never missed a single awards ceremony, trophy, plaque, certificate, pat on the back, or even bag of dirt. If I was getting something, you were there. Always in the audience, glowing, giddy, bursting at the seams and so proud of your son. I could never see your face, even if you were in the front row, because I have terrible vision, but I could always feel your stare. And I could always count on Mom to playfully make fun of you during the car ride home “You should have seen your father. He was beaming so intensely, I don’t think there was a single parent in the audience beaming as much as him.” You were so proud of me Dad. And I think that’s why I tried so hard to achieve in school, to make you beam. And I’m going to continue to do so. You were always beaming. Well, this is my chance to talk about you, and I’m the one beaming now. I’m beaming now, because all these good people KNOW how great you are and how much everyone in this world will miss you, i love you dad, and i can't wait to see you again, my hero, my idol, the love of my life, my best friend.

However, my academic achievements and brainpower pale in comparison to your intelligence and acumen. Whenever it came to a word I didn’t know I always turned to you for spelling and definition, and never was there a word that stumped you. But, after the advent of online dictionaries and smart phones with every word at my fingertips, it seemed as if I didn’t need you as much anymore. ALAS, college, grad school, and the working world surfaced, and again I turned to you for help for my most important affairs. Every major e-mail, every major correspondence I ever sent to professors, bosses, doctors, or potential job offers, I had you put the finishing touches on, ensuring the letter was business ready. You made the alterations worthy of the Art Weber seal of approval, and a cardinal key to my success. Dad, you are also a mathematical wizard, numbers always churning in your head. You truly do have the financial mind of Romney, yet you still retain the all-around brilliance, and more importantly, good-natured heart, of our beloved Obama.

And lastly… your courage and bravery persisted even throughout your illness, diagnosed with the worst kind of incurable brain cancer, followed by incurable varieties of leukemia AND lymphoma, followed by inoperable pancreatic cancer. The world’s sweetest man, who never wronged anyone in his life, was given the worst collection of cancer diagnoses known to all of medicine. Sometimes, I wondered if you truly were the messiah, and suffering for all of mankind’s sins. And through it all, you never lost your cool, never got depressed, never gave up hope, never stopped smiling. We met with doctors from almost every cancer center and bear with me, the list is loooooong, you had consultations with doctors from UM’s Sylvester, USF’s Moffitt, Harvard’s Dana Farber, Ohio’s Cleveland clinic, Texas’s MD Anderson, UCLA, Northwestern, Johns Hopkins, Columbia, and Duke. And you fought me every step of the way through all of those meetings claiming they were a huge waste of time, and Dad you were absolutely right, no one had anything special to offer, yet you put up with me through all of it just because I asked you to. You listened to me because you trust me and you love me, and you knew I’d stop at nothing to save your life. But most importantly, you wanted to live for me, not for you. In American culture, if you tell a person they’ll never eat again and they’ll be completely paralyzed for life, they’ll immediately ask if there’s some sort of plug that can be pulled to end it right away. However, when you were presented with the same scenario Dad, your first question was… “Can I still communicate with my kids?” That was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard, and you’re the only person I’ve ever heard say it.

I know there’s NOTHING you care about more than me and your family, and Dad, the feeling is mutual. Dad, I love you so much, you are my everything, you have my whole heart, you are my sunshine, the light of my life, I love you more than anything in the worlddddd and the universe, I love you more than you’ll ever know. I love you big guy. I love you Dad.