Raymond Joseph O'Connor

Ray was born in Brooklyn, NY, the only son of Catherine and Raymond O’Connor. He is survived by his wife, Jeanette O’Connor, whom he married in 1994. He is also survived by sisters Loretta (Douglas) Jenkins of Alpharetta, GA and Carole Costello of Long Island, NY., along with stepsons Matthew and Kenneth Meacham, both of Naples, and Walter (Susan) Meacham of Weston, FL. Also surviving are step-grandchildren Ricky, Bryan, Nicole and Walter, Jr. Meacham, many nieces and nephews and many close friends. He was preceded in death by his first wife, Jean Mundy O’Connor and his parents.

It took him almost ten years, but Ray earned his Doctorate of Ministry in the Dept. of Theology and Philosophy at Barry University, Miami Shores, FL, when he was 83. He is the oldest doctoral graduate in the school’s history.

A seaman, seminarian, probation officer, student and union activist, he left high school at 16 in 1945 and spent 15 years at sea traveling the world as a U.S. Merchant Marine. During his first year at sea, his ship carried battle-weary World War II GI’s home and transported troops back to Europe. His ship also carried displaced persons, some in rags, from forced labor camps in Germany to welcoming countries so they wouldn’t end up behind the Iron Curtain. “Even after the war ended, mines would explode around the ship,” he remembered.

Parochial school helped Ray develop concern for the poor, healing the sick and caring about less fortunate and less powerful people. At 31, with a high school equivalency diploma, he attended the St. Philip Neri School for Delayed Vocations in Boston, where older men did early training for the Catholic priesthood. After graduating in 1962, he entered St. Joseph’s Seminary in New York. The Viet Nam War made Ray decide to go back to sea as a marine engineer, with his ship carrying troops and supplies around the world. After Viet Nam, he returned to the seminary, completing his third year, and becoming a deacon in the Catholic Church, assigned to a parish in the Bronx while continuing to work on his fourth and final seminary year. A month before being ordained a Catholic priest, he decided to leave the seminary and go back to sea, sailing around the world many times.

Ray became a probation officer in Westchester County, NY, spending 25 years counseling people to keep them out of jail. A born leader, he served as president of the local Civil Service Employees’ Association (CSEA) of Westchester County, representing thousands of civil service employees, somehow finding time to earn a Master of Divinity and a Master of Social Work. Ray married Jean, who later became gravely ill. He took care of her until she died, on his birthday. A few years later, he married his present wife, Jeanette, a fellow probation officer.

Upon retiring, Ray and Jeanette moved to Pelican Bay where he was very active in the community. The couple had deep commitments to serve others. While she is an active communicant in her Lutheran Church, Ray was involved in the Catholic Church but was also active in her church where they did family counseling and started a grievance group for widows and widowers. Ray also served on the Lutheran altar as a lector and assistant minister. Well-known in Pelican Bay, he served as president of the Pelican Bay Property Owners’ Association for six years, before deciding in his mid-70’s to concentrate on getting his doctorate, traveling a total of thousands of miles back and forth to school on the East Coast. An active member of The Voice of the Faithful, he chose this watchdog association as the subject of his doctoral thesis. When asked why he tackled the daunting project of getting his doctorate, later in life, he said, “One day, I heard a motivational speaker say something that changed my life. I can’t remember who he was, but he said, “Don’t die until you sing your song. And that’s what I did. No matter how old you are out there, you shouldn’t give up until you sing your song.”

Friends are invited to attend a memorial service on September 26 at 11 a.m. at Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 777 Mooring Line Drive in Naples. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the Good Samaritan Fund at Emmanuel Lutheran Church.

Inurnment will take place in the Field of Honor at Hodges Funeral Home at Naples Memorial Gardens.