Barbara Maria Molenda

Barbara Maria Molenda - devoted wife, mother, grandmother, teacher, and lifelong lover of books, travel, and the simple beauty of everyday life - passed away peacefully at home in Cary, North Carolina, on October 1, 2025, with her husband by her side. She was 76.

Barbara’s story began in a small village, Pobłocie, in northern Poland near Kołobrzeg, where her parents settled after they were expatriated from around Lviv in today’s Ukraine. She was born on September 10, 1949, as Barbara Hromiak. Her father worked as a forester and her mother was a home maker and a businesswoman who, among other activities, was a goat breeder. In her early days Basia was influenced by their house help, Ms. Lipowska, who experienced many of the WW II atrocities, whom she admired for her practical wisdom and discretion. She spent her early years surrounded by animals, nature, and a post-WWII, close-knit community that survived through hard work, kindness, and mutual care. It was a world where people bartered to make ends meet and neighbors looked after one another - lessons of resilience and gratitude that shaped her entire life.

Also here, in a world, where 20 km (12 miles) travel between her village and the closest city of Kołobrzeg seemed like an insurmountable journey, she fell in love with reading books which gave her freedom of imagination and opened her world far beyond the boundaries of rural Poland. Or maybe, she just preferred that than cooking and working around the house with Ms. Lipowska.

Reading became her lifelong “affair” and every place she lived in was filled with, literally, hundreds of books. She kept donating them to local libraries and giving them away to friends, even before her husband had a chance to look at them, to make room for new ones.

From an early age, Barbara was independent and curious. By fifteen, she had left her home and family in pursuit of education not available in her village - an uncommon path for girls in post-war Poland. First, she finished school in Kołobrzeg and after that her intellectual curiosity led her to the thriving city of Poznań. Coming from a small-town environment she fought all the challenges associated with large cities and eventually found her way to Poznań University of Adam Mickiewicz UAM) where she studied pedagogy and in 1978 graduated with a master’s degree. For the next few years, she worked at UAM at the department of New Teaching Technologies. There she formed her life-lasting friendships that she wholeheartedly maintained and cultivated until her last days. In this, then a male-dominated, environment, Barbara, conducted herself with determination, integrity, intellect, and grace. By the account of her friends from those days, she’s remembered as “gentle and strong at the same time, always acting with a strong sense of integrity, discreet, considerate and tactful with impeccable manners”. And “Barbara's passing leaves a void for all who worked with her at Adam Mickiewicz University in Poznań. She was the definition of a thoughtful person—smart, kind, and possessing a serene beauty that put everyone at ease. She didn't just enter a room; she brightened it. (...) our long discussions (...) were always filled with her wisdom and profound sense of empathy. The peaceful atmosphere she cultivated was a testament to her beautiful spirit.”

In 1976, she welcomed her beloved son, Bart, and for a number of years she balanced demands of motherhood with her academic and professional life. The late 1970s brought political unrest to Poland, and like many who wanted their children to live in a better world, Barbara made the courageous decision to leave everything behind and left Poland. In 1981, she moved her family to Canada.

She landed in Montreal with little more than determination and not a word of French nor English. But Barbara’s adaptability and will to build a better life quickly shone through. Within a year, the family moved to Toronto, where she took her first Canadian job wrapping gifts at The Bay department store while focusing on learning English. Before long, she found her way back to the school environment, this time working with children with disabilities at the Toronto District School Board, a role that reflected her compassion and belief in every child’s and every person’s potential.

In the late 1980’s, Basia met the love of her life, Pawel. Together, they created a new family and a home filled with warmth, laughter, and shared dreams. They bought and renovated a fixer-upper in an emerging Toronto neighborhood, transforming it into a haven of hospitality and beauty, complete with home-cooked meals, Polish art, books, Canadiana furniture and a pantry always stocked with pasta, Polish Prince Polo chocolate bars, and wine.

When a professional opportunity arose to move to the United States, Basia and Pawel settled in Cary, North Carolina, a place that instantly felt like home. The town’s small community feel, friendly neighbors, and proximity to nature reminded her of her Polish countrysite roots. Cary became her sanctuary — a place of renewal, friendships, and belonging.

Later, work took Basia and Pawel back to Poland for over a decade, where she reconnected with her roots and forged another circle of lifelong friendships. Though she enjoyed a glamorous

life in Kraków filled with art, travel including frequent trips to Rome, and elegant dinner parties, her heart always longed to return to Cary and the people she loved there. Throughout these years when she was away, she cultivated friendships back home in Cary which became even stronger despite the distance.

Barbara eventually returned to North America to be closer to Bart, her daughter-in-law, Sabrina and her newly born two granddaughters, Mila and Asha (Asia), who instantly became the center of her world. She loved nothing more than spending time with them, reading stories, choosing gifts, and teaching them small lessons about life and kindness. She spoiled them endlessly and proudly. She also dived back into her circle of friends enjoying large gatherings but preferring small get-togethers which were better opportunities for meaningful discussions and personal attention. Then Basia and Pawel spent hours talking about their friends sometimes humorously but more often discussing their life challenges and falling in love with those relationships even more.

In 2020, Barbara faced her greatest challenge: she was diagnosed with lymphoma. She battled it courageously, forcing it into remission for four years. Those years became a treasured chapter — filled with travels to Italy and touring North America, with frequent visits to Toronto, where Bart’s family resides, tennis, pickleball, cycling, dinner parties and books stacked on every surface. When the disease returned as acute myeloid leukemia, Barbara faced it with grace, courage, and her characteristic dry humor. She chose the quality of shorter life over the hardship of therapy for an incurable illness.

Barbara loved simple, elegant things: an everyday candlelit dinner with Pawel, a well-organized home where everything had its place, and a glass (or two) of good wine at the end of the day. As she called it “good glass of wine”. She was known for her refined taste — she loved Italian craftsmanship, handmade jewelry, and things built to last like her beloved 27-year-old red Volvo she drove long enough to see it become vintage. And, yes, trips to Italy and Rome, in particular. Her closet was carefully curated, her bookshelves overflowing, and her home always welcoming - full of warmth, music, and laughter.

She was a master of thoughtful gifts, an enthusiastic listener, and a fiercely loyal friend. She was equally known for her candor and her care. Barbara didn’t believe in small talk; she believed in real talk. She listened deeply, gave advice thoughtfully, and loved passionately. Those closest to her knew that when she gave you tough feedback, it meant she cared. Her directness was rooted in love, honesty, and a belief that people could be their best selves.

Barbara leaves behind her husband, Pawel, her son, Bart, her daughter-in-law, Sabrina and her beloved and cherished granddaughters, Mila (9.5) and Asha (8) who will forever carry her love for beauty, intellect, and curiosity. She also leaves behind many friends in Poland, Canada, North Carolina and other parts of the world who will remember her for her loyalty, warmth, and generous spirit.

Barbara’s life was defined by courage, curiosity and care - a story that began in a small Polish village and spanned continents, languages, and generations. She built a life rich with meaning, love, and connection and leaves behind a legacy as enduring as the books she loved and the people she inspired.

A funeral service will be held in Cary, North Carolina, at Saint Andrew Catholic Church, 3008 Old Raleigh Rd, Apex, North Carolina, on November 7, 2025 at 11:00AM.